Zoë woke up the day Jayne came to tell her he was leaving Serenity.

He’d asked her if she was awake, ready to go back to protecting the ship and the crew. Then told her he was leaving. Just like that.

For the months since Wash’s death she had been operating on autopilot, doing what the Captain asked, going through the motions. But she wasn’t really there. She craved oblivion, wanted to be with Wash, and didn’t really care if that meant dead. She’d come close to it in the battle with the Reavers, but Jayne had been yellin’ at her to get her ass back on the line and had physically dragged her back when she was injured.

In the corners of her mind where she wasn’t preoccupied with grieving Zoë knew that Jayne had been covering the Captains’ back when they went out on jobs. Had been keeping an eye on her too, makin’ sure she did nothin’ stupid to get ‘em all killed. What she didn’t know, hadn’ been paying attention to, was what was goin’ on with the crew.

“Whatever the Captain’s been doin’ or sayin’ he’ll get over it” she said to Jayne “Ain’t the Captain” was all he replied before heading for the cargo bay with her following.

What had got the man so het up that he was really leavin’ the ship? He might talk ‘bout goin’ but that was usually only to get the Captain to agree with whatever they were arguin’ ‘bout currently. Jayne, not that he’d ever admit it, like her and everyone else on board thought of Serenity as home.

She watched as the Captain and Jayne exchanged nods, which for those two meant more than all manner of grand gestures. River was crying her heart out on the Captain’s shoulder; he had a tight hold of her like he expected her to want to leave too. Inara looked like she was goin’ to either start crying or punch Simon who was standing at the door ignoring his sister’s distress and looking satisfied? And Kaylee wasn’t there. Kaylee, who felt everything, thought everything was shiny, defended everyone no matter what they did, wasn’t there.

Jayne took a look round, picked up his bags turned and left never lookin’ back. Watching him move steadily away Zoë took a deep breath, “Captain, want to tell me what the hell is goin’ on?” Mal looked round in relief at the sound of her voice, seeing in her eyes that his second in command was back.