Jayne hadn’t slept well. He’d had real stupid dreams. In one of ‘em, he was playin’ cards with Mal an’ some guy with an apple fer his head. The apple guy kept tryin’ ta cheat an’ Jayne’s cards was all backwards. An’ then Kaylee showed up an’ took a bite outa the apple guy’s head an’ he exploded. An then Kaylee an’ Jayne started makin’ out real hard on the table while Mal rambled on about how Jayne’s boots were too dirty.

He woke up real cranky.

Felt a little better when he walked down the hall ta the kitchen an’ smelled somethin’ real tasty cookin’.

Kaylee an’ Inara were the only ones sittin’ at the table. Jayne nodded to ‘em, scratchin’ that spot on his stomach that always seemed ta itch when he woke up. He walked over ta the stove. There was a pot of somethin’ ‘er other sittin’ there. He got himself a bowlful an’ turned back ta the table.

Inara was lookin’ at ‘im, an’ Kaylee was tryin’ real hard to look anywhere else.

Jayne realized he’d just walked in on a conversation about himself.

He set his bowl down on the table across from Kaylee an’ sat down.

“So.”

Jayne looked at Inara. She was lookin’ at Kaylee, who was lookin’ at her bowl.

Inara looked at ‘im real quick.

“So.” She cleared her throat real delicate-like. “Jayne. You’ve met Mr. Pink, haven’t you?”

Jayne nodded an’ took a bite of breakfast.

Tasted real nice. He said as much.

“Kaylee made it.” Inara smiled at Kaylee, who was still lookin’ at her bowl.

“Nice cookin’, Little Kaylee.”

She glanced up at Jayne an’ smiled. Gorram, she was pretty when she smiled.

She got up an’ went over ta wash her bowl. Jayne watched her as she went by him.

Inara cleared her throat again an’ Jayne looked at ‘er.

“So what’s he like? Anything I should know about him?”

Jayne shrugged an’ took another bite. “He’s slick. Yanno what I mean? Talks real pretty. Like the doc.”

Kaylee dropped her bowl. Jayne glanced over at her.

“Is he… I mean… does he seem honest?” It was real obvious that Inara was tryin’ ta keep his attention.

Jayne rolled her question around in his head for a minute. Sucked on his teeth. “Nope.” He sat back in his chair. “I mean, he ain’t given us our money, has he? Seems pretty obvious.” He shrugged again. “Acts nice, though.”

Inara looked at ‘im like he was gonna say more.

He leaned forward again an’ took another bite.

He didn’ know what else ta say. So he sat there eatin’. Inara sat there watchin’. An’ Kaylee washed the same bowl over an’ over.

Just when Jayne was worried he couldn’t scrape anythin’ else offa the bottom of his bowl ta keep ‘im from havin’ ta talk, Inara stood up.

“I’d better go, then. Sounds like I have quite the task ahead of me.” She looked down at Jayne, then over at Kaylee, then back at Jayne.

She smiled. Kinda awkwardly, considerin’ she was trained ta smile right.

Then she left.

Kaylee wandered back ta the table. She tried ta make it look like wanderin’, anyways. She sat down across from Jayne an’ looked at her hands on the table.

“Sleep well?”

Jayne thought about makin’ out with her on the table covered with applesauce.

He shrugged. “Fine, I guess. You?”

She shrugged.

Ta be perfectly honest, her not sleepin’ was half the reason he hadn’t slept well. He’d heard her an’ the doc arguin’ last night in her bunk. Didn’t hear what they was sayin’. Just loud voices. An’ not the usual kind.

He sat back in his chair again. “Really was a good breakfast.”

“He told me I was pretty when I had engine grease on me. ‘Pparently, it ain’t appropriate fer the dinner table, though. Did you know he was tryin’ ta wipe it off while Mal was talkin’ last night? With his napkin thing. Like some old lady.”

Jayne blinked.

“An’ he keeps askin’ me ta stop sayin’ things like ‘ain’t.’ Well my mama said ain’t an’ it was fine fer her, so it’s fine fer me. Gorramit, things was fine ‘til we started actually talkin’ ta each other. I mean, we hardly talked before, an’ at first it was all sex, yanno?”

She looked up at Jayne.

“Not that… you wanna know that.” She let out a short, nervous laugh.

“Uh…”

“Sorry.”

“It’s… okay.” Jayne cleared his throat an’ shifted all uncomfortable-like.

She was lookin’ down at her hands again.

“So… uh… where is he?” Why was that the only thing he could think’ve ta ask?

Kaylee snorted. “With River, I’m sure.”

She sighed.

“I understand that she’s got… problems. But… I really don’t think I’m a good enough person ta settle fer bein’ second best, yanno?”

She looked right at Jayne.

Ye-soo. He knew.

He could see her swallow hard. “Been thinkin’ ‘bout what ya said last night.”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah?”

“Something smells wonderful.”

Kaylee looked from Jayne ta the doc, who’d just swooped in.

Jayne coulda’ strangled ‘im.

Kaylee looked away when the doc bent an’ kissed ‘er forehead. She smiled at ‘im.

Jayne grit his teeth an’ stood up. Left ‘is bowl on the table an’ pushed past River in the doorway.

Hated ‘er fer lookin’ at ‘im like she pitied ‘im.