Colorado Cowboys
Monday, November 21, 2005

Pure Christmas fluff, from Jayne's view of things.


Times a’ been lean lately on Serenity, but Jayne’s been through worse. They still got a place to sleep and food (if ya could call it that) in their bellys. He can take the lean times with the good, no problem. It’s the dejected looks in the girls’ eyes that he can’t seem to get outta his head.

He was glad when Mal told him they’ll be planet side for Christmas and got himself as far ‘way from River and Kaylee’s matchin’ set of doe eyes as fast as he could. He barely heard the Cap’n yellin’ after him to pick up the post while he’s gone.

Once he’s outta sight of Serenity, he slowed down a bit. Not like he got any place to go. Barely got hisself enough to get good and drunk on, an’ he can’t even do that ‘cause Mal’s ‘xpectin’ him to come back with post all sober like. Ya’d think if the man gone want it done right, he’d do it hisself.

But no, Mal’s gotta trust him ta do it right.

He kicked at a rock. Some Christmas. Not ‘nough money for a whore and can’t spend what he do got on hooch.

Least last year, they’d all had some money in their pockets, an’ that put ‘em all in good spirits. Even had theirselves a party in the middle of the black. He’d even gotten presents. Him.

The Girl gave ‘im a red string, so that prob’ly didn’t count, even if it were kinda pretty all braided together with the ends hanging down all soft-like. He tied it ‘round Vera, for good luck.

Kaylee gave ‘im a real present. Weren’t no cheap somethin’ she made from spare parts neither. Was store bought, his little gift was. Told him the ‘M’ stood for Mercenary, ‘an he should wear it pinned to his bandoleer so he could remember what he used t’ be, cause he weren’t one no more. Told ‘im he was family now.

But then he’d had to glower at her and give it back, ‘cause the rest ‘o the crew was makin’ fun of him blushin’. So that prob’ly didn’t count neither.

Somehow, it’d ended up in his bunk anyway, and he pinned it on backwards so the ‘M’ was flat ‘gainst his chest and no one could see it. Sometimes, he’d catch the Girl starin’ at the spot and figured she knew, but she never said nothin’, just smiled in that creepy, knowin’ way o’ hers.

In all, it was probably the best Christmas he’d had in years, an’ the girls weren’t the only one’s feelin’ grumbly ‘bout the state o’ affairs this year. He’d even thought ‘bout maybe gettin’ some presents to give hisself. Already had Kaylee’s all picked out. Only they aint been makin’ much profit lately, an’ his Ma needed more’n he had, so he sent it all t’ her.

“Gorram Christmas,” he kicked the door of the Post Master’s office open more violently than called for, and stalked across the room to the nearest teller. He shoved Serenity’s crew roster ‘cross to the greasy lookin’ man and waited.

“Got quite the load for ya, Mr. Cobb. That crew o’ yours is mighty popular.”

Jayne rolled his eyes, Mal was always real friendly to these types and said somethin’ ‘bout not bitin’ the hand that feeds ya. But Jayne didn’t ever get it, seemed to him a big waste o’ his time to be friendly with a piece of le se he didn’t give a good gorram ‘bout. “Jus’ hand it over.”

He weren’t quite prepared for the seven separate packages that were stacked in front of him. And then the half-dozen envelopes on top. “Ya sure this is all ours?”

“Soon as you sign here,” the clerk reached over the boxes and handed him a clipboard. Jayne scribbled what passed for his signature across the line. But when Greasy reached to take it back, Jayne’s fingers tightened on it and he yanked it back to take a better look.

Gou cao de.

Every last one of them packages was from his own Mama. And weren’t one of them for him.


Jayne came back aboard Serenity an hour later, glowering something’ fierce, the sack of packages slung over his back and his fingers twitching on the hilt of his gun. Made a body wonder jus’ what had happened to make him look like he was itchin’ to shoot someone.

But then, it was Jayne. He probably was itchin’ to shoot someone.

Mal followed slowly after him as he stomped up the stairs, when Jayne got like this, it was like jugglin‘ a live grenade. “You run into any trouble while you were out?”


He nodded to himself, “That our post ya got there?”


“Great, then just hand it over, and we can--”

“Nope.” Reaching the galley, he set the bag carefully on the table, one hand restin’ on it and the other on his holster.

“Come again?”

“I aint handin’ out post till we’re all here an’ openin’ ‘em together.” He flashed a dangerous smile, “It’s Christmas, after all.”

Mal didn’t get where he was by fightin’ every battle he came across. He knew when to pick ‘em. And since he couldn’t quite fathom the lay of the land here, he nodded and backed toward the com, callin’ the rest of the crew to meet in the galley.

Didn’t take but a few minutes to get them all assembled, and Mal turned to Jayne again, still lookin’ mighty protective over a bunch of post. “Care to explain why you’re holdin’ our mail hostage?”

Jayne surveyed the group before reachin’ into the bag and pullin’ out the letters first. Hands one each to Wash and Kaylee, from their families he figures. Three go to Shepherd Book, who just tucks them wordlessly into his pockets. “You seem awfully tense son,” he commented.

“Got a letter from my Ma,” he muttered.

“Oh, no,” Kaylee rushed forward resting a concerned hand on his forearm. “Everythin’ alright?”

Jayne glanced down, and Mal don’t much like the way he’s lookin’ at Kaylee’s hand on his arm. “Jus’ fine. Mostly. Didn‘t say much. Jus‘ sent me back some o‘ the coin I been givin‘ her and a gorram shoppin‘ list. Don‘t make no sense.”

“Looking at the parts,” River spoke up, her quite voice carrying through the room and drawing all eyes to her. She, however, only had eyes for Jayne. “Not the whole.”

Shaking himself, Mal went back to the topic at hand, “Neither does you gettin’ all angry-like over the rest of our mail.”

Jayne pursed his lips into a thin line, and them sparks started goin’ off in his eyes, and there was no clearer warning sign that his Merc was on the brink of violence than that. “Rest o’ your mail is from my mother.”

Mal blinked. Twice.


Jayne reached into the bag, and read the name on the first package before tossing it at Wash, smirking faintly when the pilot nearly dropped it. He stared down at the package in his hands as though he weren’t sure he was reading the name on it correctly.

He passed out the packages one by one, slightly gratified that at least Simon’s was the smallest of the bunch. He handed Kaylee a thick envelope with her name scrawled across the front in his mama’s handwriting and she immediately tore it open and began reading. The others seemed to take this as their cue, and Jayne folded his arms across his chest, watching them all through narrowed eyes.

Simon held up a thin, narrow vial up to the light, squinting as he examined the dark brow fluid encased by the stopper. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen…”

Zoe’s package had been the heaviest and shifted it’s weight from one hand to the other as she undid the wrapping. Jayne’s frown deepened when he didn’t immediately recognize the powdery stuff.

“Nuts!” His attention was diverted to River, who was standing right ‘neath his nose beaming up at him.

“I know ya are, girl.”

“No,” she continued to grin at him, and unfurled her palm to reveal a handful of walnuts. “These nuts.”

He wrinkled his nose, “What’d she go sendin’ you nuts for?”

He reached down to take one and she yanked her hand away. “Naughty Jayne. Pieces for the whole. Not pieces for the pieces.”

Jayne looked ‘round the rest of the room, checkin’ what the others got. ‘Nara was busy staring at the package of chocoate in her hands, and from the way her mouth was kinda hangin’ open, he figured it had ta be the real stuff. Mal was looking quizzically down at bag of crystallized sugar bouncing it back and forth from one hand to the other as though it were gonna change into somethin’ else any minute.

Kaylee tugged on his arm, still clutchin‘ her letter in her hands. “Jayne? What was on that shoppin’ list your Mama gave you?”

He reached into the bag, pullin’ out the last two items: A small bottle of real milk, a stick of butter, and two eggs. “Told me they had to be real too,” he muttered, staring at the offending items. “Just ‘bout drove me crazy spendin’ all that money when the synthetic’s three times cheaper. She coulda used that money herself.”

The others were all exchanging looks and grinning like fools and Jayne didn’t get it, “This stuff’s all useless.”

Book was the first to start moving, going straight for the cupboards to gather measuring cups and bowls. The rest followed suit setting their ingredients on the table beside Kaylee, who was tucking her hair behind her ears, lookin’ all manner of cute as she took charge. “Set the oven to three-fifty. And we outta get that milk chilled first…”

“Now, just wait a minute,” Jayne frowned, watching Inara whisk the milk out from under his hand and into the refrigerator across the room. “What’d she send you all?”

Kaylee gave him one of her glowingest smiles, sliding the recipe that came with her letter across the table so he could see, “She sent us Christmas.”


~*~ Jayne’s Favorite Cookies (AKA Colorado Cowboys) Ingredients 2 cups all purpose flour 2 cups old-fashioned oats 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature 3/4 cup sugar 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons packed dark brown sugar 2 large eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1-1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips 1 cup chopped toasted walnuts (about 4 ounces)

Method Whisk first 5 ingredients in medium bowl to blend, then set aside.

Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and both sugars in a large bowl until light and fluffy.

Add eggs and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.

Add dry ingredients and beat until just blended. Stir in chocolate chips and walnuts. Cover dough and chill 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Form dough into balls, using 1/4 cup dough for each. Place on greased baking sheets, spacing 2 inches apart. Flatten with hand to 3 1/2-inch rounds.

Bake 10-15 minutes or until cookies are golden brown around edges and firm in center. Transfer to cooling racks to cool completely.

Makes about 20 cookies.


Monday, November 21, 2005 11:24 PM



One o' the bestest feel good fics of the season.

Thankyou so much for writing this!


Tuesday, November 22, 2005 3:01 AM


Jayne's favourite cookies, a great Christmas fiction. Loved the hint of Jaylee is there more to come?
"Jayne pursed his lips into a thin line, and them sparks started goin’ off in his eyes, and there was no clearer warning sign that his Merc was on the brink of violence than that." Wonderful description

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 3:02 AM


Sweet like Jayne's Favorite Cookies.
I wanna go make some. Mind if I borrow your recipe?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 3:23 AM


Oh, you just gotta love Jayne's mom. That is one loving lady! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 9:57 AM


I HATE being slow! it took having Book head to the kitchen before I realized they were INGREDIENTS! Very Shiney! A Christmas Story and Christmas Cookies! A hearty well done. And you got Jayne(and the others) to a T!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 10:01 AM


Oh, I have to try these! Thanks so much!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 7:36 PM


Tasty. :)

Love your Jayne voice! And I love how you have River seeing Jayne:

"but she never said nothin’, just smiled in that creepy, knowin’ way o’ hers"

And the fact that you use a capital
"G" when he refers to "the Girl." Ahh... almost makes me wanna write some Rayne.

Friday, November 25, 2005 6:30 AM


aaw, that is one sweet mom...just like her son, when he wants to be...


Thursday, July 14, 2011 7:57 AM


Just love it.


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