BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

MANICGIRAFFE

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A whole scene written with nothing but dialogue. This is a total experiment.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3635    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

I apologize for this one, folks. I originally set out to make this an opening scene to something larger, but couldn't get the plot up and running. I always liked the "banter" scenes between the crew (like the beginning of "Out Of Gas"), and so tried to write one. I decided to leave out any descriptive text for two reasons: 1) to see if I could make it clear enough who was talking when, as a personal challenge 2) it interrupted the flow of the banter to leave narrative text

If it's too confusing, please leave me feedback, and I can repost in "script" format with indications of who is speaking.

Thank you for indulging my neurosis.

*****

"All crew members: dinner will begin at 6PM this evening, ship's time. Please be prompt and dress nicely."

"Feast? There's a feast I gotta dress up for? How dressy we talkin', River?"

"For you, Captain, no guns. Zoe, no guns for you either, and Wash has requested something with slink. Wash, Hawaiian shirts are acceptable, but please have Zoe pick one that is aesthetically pleasing. Jayne, also no guns, and you must wear pants. Simon, your usual clothes are fine, but you'll have to find the shirt Kaylee stole from your laundry. Kaylee, Simon likes that little flowered dress you have. Inara and Shepherd already know how to dress properly."

"That's quite a list, little one. What are you up to?"

"Inara and albatross are cooking tonight, and we insist that everyone must dress up and bring a date. It's a festive day."

"What? A date? Who should I bring?"

"Whoever you want - but it must be someone from onboard. No whores from town. The men must find their dates by asking the women over the comm. You first, Captain."

"Over an open comm? Why?"

"So everyone is aware of the pairings. If left up to her, albatross will assign you to Jayne."

"Oh, hell no! I ain't goin' anywhere with Mal as my date! I'd rather bring Vera."

"Your intended seems reluctant, Captain."

"Only 'cause he ain't drunk yet. I have it on good authority I look mighty fine in a dress. But I'll play along. Kaylee, get up here."

"But I got dibs on Simon!"

"Nope. You report to your quarters and put on that foofy dress. You're my date."

"Hell no, sir."

"You just tell your captain no?"

"Hell yes, sir. No ruttin' way."

"Whoa, there. You kiss Simon with that mouth?"

"More than kiss, Cap'n. Simon! C'mere!"

"Oh God. I would consider it a kindness you not sexin' our doctor on an open comm."

"She's not 'sexing' me at all, I swear!"

"Not for her lack of tryin', Doc."

"I can't help it, Cap'n. You ain't never seen him without a shirt."

"For which I am eternally grateful. Who else has a dress 'round here? Zoe? How about bein' my date?"

"To quote Kaylee: hell no, sir."

"Why not? I'm a good lookin' fella."

"While it's tempting, sir, my husband might object."

"No, please, lamby-toes. Don't let me stop the raging passion you have for Mal. You could even tell some more of your funny stories whilst hanging on his - "

"Shut up, husband. Sorry, sir, I'm going with Wash. I did marry him, which means he asked me long before you."

"You could always borrow Rex for the occasion, Mal. He hasn't been anywhere nice in a while. I can get him all gussied up for you."

"Ain't you supposed to be flyin' the ship 'stead of yammerin' on the comm, Wash?"

"Eh, probably. But this is far more entertaining."

"Inara? You listenin' to all this hilarity?"

"I'm standing next to River. We've been working on seating arrangements."

"Will you consent to be my date 'fore Jayne starts thinkin' I look cute in that dress after all?"

"I don't know. Not very flattering, being your last choice, Mal."

"I ain't asked River yet, so that would make you second to last. No offense, River."

"I can kill you with my brain."

"I knew it! Gorram moonbrain gonna kill us all!"

"Shut it, Jayne. What d'ya say, 'Nara? I'll even wash up."

"I suppose I'll manage, if only to spare River the experience. Is that arrangement suitable to you, River?"

"Albatross is pleased."

"I guess that's a yes, Mal."

"So, Captain with Inara, Wash with Zoe. Simon, you did not ask Kaylee. It is rude to assume she is agreeable."

"Well, mei-mei, I'll bet Jayne would look adorable in a dress. Maybe I should ask - OW!"

"Simon'll be goin' with me if he knows what's good for him."

"You hit me! It was a joke! I thought you liked it when I was funny!"

"Hey, give 'im one for suggestin' I wear a dress while yer at it."

"OW!"

"Turn the other cheek, Miss Frye. Corrective violence is never a solution."

"Seems to work OK so far, Shepherd. 'Sides, he likes it when I kiss it better."

"Well, then, I suppose that sometimes we must make exceptions."

"But I'm bruised and - wait. Kiss it better?"

"Love is always full of trials, son. River, I'll be bringing God as my 'date'."

"Will God need a place setting?"

"No."

"I call God's share of the food!"

"That's fine, Jayne. The Lord needs no earthly sustenance."

"Good thing I ain't God, then."

"Truer words were never spoken."

"And what about you, Miss River? Who's heart you aimin' to break this fine evening?"

"Albatross is left with Jayne. He will be her date, Captain."

"Like hell I will."

"It's either me or Vera, and I already said no guns."

"Ain't gonna stab me again, are ya?"

"Ask nicely."

"Aw, gorramit. You be my date, crazy girl?"

"Nice enough. Albatross agrees."

"I certainly don't!"

"Bi zui, ge ge."

"Aw, ain't this romantic? We got four couples on board - five, if ya count the shepherd an' God. It's so sweet! We all just get paired off like we was meant for the other. It's - "

"My sister is not meant for Jayne!"

"Mal and I are not a pair!"

"She means us, sugar-dumpling. And maybe Mal and Rex."

" - like a cruise, with soft music and good food and big bath tubs and comfy beds and shirtless doctors and - "

"Kaylee?"

"Yeah?"

"Go back to molesting Simon."

"Right away, Cap'n!"

COMMENTS

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 3:16 PM

CUB


Well done! I didn't have much trouble at all telling who was speaking, and you have a real gift for characterization.

Favorite line: "Aw, ain't this romantic? We got four couples on board - five, if ya count the shepherd an' God."

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 3:20 PM

MISSKITTEN


I think this says it all:

"Kaylee?"
"Yeah?"
"Go back to molesting Simon."
"Right away, Cap'n!"

LMAO, loved the dialogue! I think that's the *best* order Mal's given Kaylee :P

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 3:34 PM

SHINYGEEKET


I didn't have any trouble at all with this. This was definatly cute, and I had a hard time keeping my giggles under control (I'm in a library at the moment). Favorite line: "Will God need a place setting?"

"No."

"I call God's share of the food!"

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 4:32 PM

RIVERGODDESS


"Good thing I ain't God, then"
"Truer words were never spoken"
Genius. You MUST continue the story at the dinner table. I'm loving this, and the characters were easily distinguishable. Another, pretty please?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 6:28 PM

MANICGIRAFFE


I was originally going to go post-BDM, but it seemed kind of mean to not let Book and Wash play. Let's assume this takes place somewhere between "Objects In Space" and the movie.

I'm glad to hear you guys can follow it. I'll see if I can come up with more humor and continue it.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 6:36 PM

JACQUI


Oh, this was nice! I giggled inanely.

Please, write more.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 7:18 PM

SERENYTY


Hilarious! That was great!!!

"I call God's share of the food."

That made me laugh out loud.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 7:42 PM

CAPNZOE


'Shut up husband.' Ahhh...I can't wait to get married!

It was great! I would love for you to write more fic. Please, keep up the good work.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 11:57 PM

OLDSOUL1987


Nice! and thank you...oh and please more!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 2:19 AM

BOOKADDICT


This was really humourous you did the voices so well there was no difficulty knowing who was speaking.
""Hey, give 'im one for suggestin' I wear a dress while yer at it."


"OW!"

Great fun

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 5:56 AM

LILKRISTY


How fun! I had no trouble with the characters.

My favorite was "Will God need a place setting?" and the following exchange.

I'd love to see dinner.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 7:11 AM

BELLONA


i WAS gonna quote a line, but that became two lines, then four, ten, thirty and before i knew it, i'd copied the whole gorram thing...ooh!! but my faves have to be
"Whoa, there. You kiss Simon with that mouth?"
"More than kiss, Cap'n. Simon! C'mere!"
"Oh God. I would consider it a kindness you not sexin' our doctor on an open comm."
"She's not 'sexing' me at all, I swear!"

and

"I can kill you with my brain."
"I knew it! Gorram moonbrain gonna kill us all!"

b

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 9:07 AM

AMDOBELL


Lovely bit of fun. I liked the way the characters all came through, now what is River really up to? Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

Wednesday, November 30, 2005 11:26 AM

SAMEERTIA


"Oh, hell no! I ain't goin' anywhere with Mal as my date! I'd rather bring Vera."

Too many good laugh out loud moments here! I was snickering the entire time. My coworker popped in to see what I was laughing about.
*note to self: Close office door before lunch.*

Thursday, December 1, 2005 2:09 PM

STORMO


Great job. I enjoyed it and giggled more than a few times.

Thursday, December 1, 2005 2:42 PM

JOY


OH i loved it! Very well written! Yay! it's always shiny when the captain plays along with the girls' plans. please please with a cherry on top, can you write about dinner? and doesn't a feaste usually involve a performance and dance? *wink*

Monday, December 19, 2005 2:30 AM

BLACKBEANIE


LMAO

Thursday, January 19, 2006 12:54 AM

AGENTROUKA


Utterly, utterly hilarious. River was great through-out, and especially Simon's and Wash's lines had me rolling! Great job!

Friday, February 17, 2006 10:16 AM

MAANTRE


What a perfect scene...I could picture everyone perfectly! You have such a way with the comedy;)

"You hit me! It was a joke! I thought you liked it when I was funny!"

heehee...I love it! and you!

Saturday, June 3, 2006 6:03 AM

AGENTRUSCO


This is the most amazing thing I've seen for about a week. I dont understand why River is called albatross when she didnt get that name till after the BDM, but I dont care. this is woundrous.

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:59 PM

INARAREYNOLDS


hehehe! i posted here before but under my old pen name, i love this.

Tuesday, October 3, 2006 11:14 AM

LEIASKY


Bwahahahaa!

Go back to molesting Simon... yes, that's always fun!

This was great. Could tell who was speaking quite easily.

Thursday, October 5, 2006 8:54 AM

AIYANOODLE


"To quote Kaylee: hell no, sir." *SNERK*

So Zoe.


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