Title: Complements Author: Ana Sedai Rating: PG Character(s): River Prompt: 046 – Need Word Count: 470 Summary: There are no sure things in life, but there is always a chance. A/N: 8/100 for Joss100. Sorry about the slow updates. I’ll be on vacation for the next two weeks, but I’ll try to have a few ready to post when I get back.

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There are times when River wonders if she is what the Captain really needs. If he is what she needs. Does she love him? Complicated question. What is love? Even more complicated. She has seen and felt it, but more from others than herself. It’s so hard to separate them sometimes.

Wash and Zoë had been warm and steady and comfortable, like being wrapped in a blanket in front of a fire on a cold night. She’d basked in them when they were close. She doesn’t like being close to Zoë anymore. She feels battered by the depth of her need. The love Zoë has was tethered to Wash. Now he is gone and that love has been left flapping and twisting in the shrieking wind of her grief.

Kaylee and Simon are different. She is sunlight and singing birds and a gentle breeze, while he is green trees and dark, rich earth. She shines on him and gives him life. He gives her a place to nest and feel safe. Well, when he isn’t acting like a boob, of course, which he still does on occasion. Then he gives her something to squawk at.

She has watched the Captain and Inara, listened to them. Whenever River sees the Captain and Inara together, she is reminded of the story of the Sirens, those mythical sea creatures whose songs were so hypnotic that they lured any sailor who heard them into the sea to drown.

Inara is the Captain’s Siren. She does not want to be, but she is, and she knows it. But she cannot make herself leave for good. Because the Captain is also Inara’s Siren. They thrash at each other and at themselves, torn between who they are and what they think they want. If they break free, they will drown each other. Inara can’t renounce who she is. For her, love would never be as precious as her independence. The Captain can’t accept less than his honor allows. For him, love could never be worth his self-respect. Neither of them can be what the other needs.

As for herself and Mal, he is darkness and fire, while she is darkness and air. Theirs is a mix that could bring comforting warmth, or a destructive inferno. There are no guarantees. River sometimes doubts herself. If this does not work, there will be no second chances. He tears and claws at his wounds, and she wants to be the one to help heal them. She knows he could help heal hers. But she also knows how fine the line is between healing and destruction. She has walked that line herself, and she still walks it. She and Mal will either bring each other into a balance, or pull each other into the abyss. They have this one chance. It has to be enough.