On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me eight maids a milking

Kaylee sat with Jayne’s head on her shoulder while he shivered with the cold. She didn’t know which was worse, the shiverin’ from the cold or the burnin’ with fever.

Yesterday the zhu tou man had insisted on continuing their journey till nightfall. While she knew their lives were at stake Kaylee thought that Jayne should rest up more before continuin’. She’d lost that argument in a big way, Jayne hadn’t been caught by any of her tricks this time. He’d wanted to put as much space between them and the dead bad guys as he could. So he’d kept goin’ and goin’ till they were both exhausted.

Cause they wouldn’t have had to walk so far ‘cept they were avoidin’ the cameras. Kaylee hated the cameras. They tracked every move she and Jayne made and relayed it back to the people who were watchin’ their troubles.

Early on Jayne had got her to explain to him how the ta ma de-ing things worked and between them they’d figured out a way round them. The route they plotted took them much longer but they were safer. No-one could relay their position if no-one knew where they were. Their enemies would not know how injured he was and take advantage.

No-one was goin’ to take advantage of either of them if Kaylee could help it. She knew Jayne was really sick when he had handed her a gun and asked her to keep watch. Blue eyes hazy with fever, body wracked with shivers he’d been worried about her and the gun, she knew it.

“I’ll fire it if I have to” she promised him with determination.

And he lay down and went to sleep.

*****************************

Mal looked around uncomfortably; they had had no trouble infiltrating the viewing room on this benighted moon.

Sir Warwick and Inara’s contacts had proved valuable. The booth they were sitting in was one of the best; it gave them a good view of the whole room, even though it was too open for his taste.

The opulent room left him cold; everything was too rich, too tasteful and it was full of the sort of people he despised. The booth’s only other advantage was the screen which relayed what was happening out on the hunting grounds.

Soon they would begin to reconnoitre the area and hopefully find a way to rescue Kaylee and Jayne. But first they needed to find out what had been going on with their missing friends.

Sir Warwick was carrying a hand-held Cortex screen so they could communicate with Serenity and broadcast what was appearing on the booth screen.

“I’m most impressed by the courage displayed by your crew members,” remarked the lord. He had spent the morning reviewing the events from the previous days. “They have done well to survive this far, whenever they appear on screen the level of interest in the room spikes.”

“Jayne is avoiding the cameras to the best of his ability” the shepherd was also impressed “he only appears when totally necessary, usually when he is about to kill somebody.”

The captain shrugged “That’d be Jayne. Paranoid.”

“Huh? What’s paranoia got to do with it?” Wash was puzzled

“The man stays out of camera range no-one can report where he is.” Mal explained “Gives him an edge. Means he can hunt and track without looking over his shoulder.”

He continued to think out loud “Jayne’s good at what he does, but he’s short on temper, specially when folks are trying to kill him. It puzzles me how he’s managed to keep calm so long.”

“Kaylee sir” Zoë’s voice was dry

“I don’t understand” Mal’s expression was mirrored by everyone else except River.

Zoë glanced sideways at the girl who rolled her eyes in obvious exasperation.

“He’s worried about her, protecting her. Don’t any of you realise what that man feels for Kaylee?”

“Feelings and Jayne?” Wash joked “isn’t that a contradiction in terms?” He felt the silence even over the Cortex and catching his wife’s steely expression rapidly shut up.

The stunned silence continued in the booth and on the flight deck for several minutes as people evaluated what they’d heard.

Mal pulled Zoe aside “You are saying what I think you’re saying ain’t you? And how come you know what’s going on anyway?”

“He covers it up real well most times, but anyone who ain’t blind could see that Jayne gorram near worships the ground Kaylee walks on.” Zoë was determined that her captain recognise some truths about the folk on his boat.

“Appears that large numbers of us are blind then” Mal answered “Kaylee included, I guess?”

“Don’t think she realises sir” Zoë agreed “but lately I’ve been wondering if Kaylee ain’t thinking on Jayne a little.”

*****************************

Kaylee had been thinkin’ on Jayne for some little time before their failed shoppin’ exhibition.

Simon was never goin’ to take what she was offerin’. She’d thrown herself at him so often and he’d never even kissed her. She knew that, even if he did come around, she, Kaylee would always come second to River. She didn’t want to be second; she wanted to be first, to be special to someone.

She hadn’t thought of Jayne as that someone not at first.

His body she was already well aware of. How could anyone not be aware of his bulk, his muscles, how he was put together so well? But she’d started noticin’ other things ‘bout him. The way he took care of his weapons, the way he concentrated so fierce on things so he could understand them. The way he enjoyed sex so much, enjoyed women. He kept in touch with his ma, argued with everyone. Hid his feelins’ and everything else ‘bout hisself.

Fong luh girl, she wanted him real bad.

Zhu tou = pig headed ta ma de-ing = mother fucking fong luh = crazy