Episode 1x17: “HERO COMPLEX”

THIS EPISODE CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES THAT MAY BE DISTURBING TO SOME READERS.

Written by Serge A. Simard Story Consultant: David Elmer Edited by Matt Engstrom and George W. Krubski

Producer: David Elmer Head Writer: George W. Krubski Art Director: Sean Young

Disclaimer: The crew of the Serenity, the ‘Verse in which they live, and their fellow inhabitants are the property of Joss Whedon, Universal Studios, and/or Fox Television. They are used in this work of fan fiction with love and respect, but without permission.

EXT. PERSEPHONE – EAVESDOWN DOCKS – DAY

It’s a sunny day in the bustling bazaar of Eavesdown Docks as MAL, ZOE, and JAYNE work their way through the crowd.

MAL: Three hours! Three hours we wait in his parlor and for what? “Hello, welcome to my mansion, please won't you have a seat, and some smelly cheese too. Oh, and by the way, get out of my house, you thief”!

JAYNE (picking at his teeth): Ain’t nothin’ wrong with free cheese, Mal, no matter how it smells.

MAL (ignoring Jayne): He knows we’re thieves! But the second we show him that damn broken laser, he clams up.

ZOE: He's got his reasons, sir. If I were him, I wouldn't go near the Lassiter, either. MAL (not particularly listening): Now he's too good to be seen with us. Y’know, Warrick Harrow used to be my very favorite lord with a sash.

It’s a particularly busy day and all three of them are periodically jostled by PASSERS-BY. ZOE: Used to be?

MAL: Well, he still is. Sometimes he really has a pair, but today was like he was gelded. Just never thought something fits under my coat would be so tough to pass along. ZOE: You could have taken Inara up on her offer to help sell it.

MAL: Inara? Would you give that a rest! She so big on helpin’ us, how come she ain't here? She was supposed to come by and change his paranoid mind to my liking.

They stop to let a MAN leading two LLAMAS pass; Jayne eyes the llamas with suspicion.

MAL (cont'd): She didn't show because she didn't want to show. Made me look like a gorram fool.

ZOE: She's scared, Mal. Probably doesn’t want to risk running into Atherton Wing.

MAL (Sarcastic): Ath! You think he's still holding a grudge against us, too?

JAYNE: Him and about a hundred others. Maybe you should start killin’ 'em, Mal. Wouldn't have to watch our backs so gorram much.

MAL: Can't kill everyone don't agree with us, Jayne. Badger’d be the first to go, were that the case. We walk away, and it's their choice to keep a grudge. Nothing I can do about that.

JAYNE: You could kill 'em.

Mal gives him a look.

Zoe spots INARA in the crowd, working her way toward them.

ZOE: Speak of the devil.

Jayne and Mal put their hands to their guns, looking for targets. Zoe gives them her best “Why am I saddled with children?” look.

As Inara approaches, Mal closes the distance, his posture belligerent.

MAL: Where were you?

INARA: I had some business that took longer than planned. Did Lord Harrow mention my absence?

MAL: ‘Course he mentioned! Do I look like a whore?

Inara manages not to slap him.

INARA: That's exactly the kind of comment I don't miss when you’re not around, Captain.

Jayne laughs. Inara and Zoe begin to walk away.

A KID, carrying a snatched PURSE, rushes through the crowd, angling toward Jayne.

Mal and Jayne move to follow the women.

The Kid slams into Jayne’s back.

JAYNE: Hey!

Jayne whips around in annoyance, grabs the Kid with one hand and the purse with the other. The others aren’t aware of this happening.

Jayne looks at the purse, which looks expensive, then at the Kid, who looks dirt poor. He lets the Kid go.

JAYNE (cont’d): Get outta here ‘fore I gut you.

Jayne begins to paw through the purse.

ANA (OS): Oh, thank goodness!

Jayne looks up. ANA, 30-ish, attractive but not beautiful, dark hair cut short, dressed in expensive clothes matching the purse, approaches.

ANA: Thank you for stopping that thief.

JAYNE: I was just, um…

Jayne takes his hand out of her purse.

JAYNE (cont’d): …Lookin’ for some kinda identification.

ANA: Of course. Thank you so much.

She comes closer and he hands the purse back, perhaps a little reluctantly.

By now, the others have realized Jayne’s not with them and, in the background, are returning, curious looks on their faces.

JAYNE (to Ana): Should be more careful, lady.

ANA: Please, call me Ana.

She extends her hand. Jayne looks at it for a beat, then realizes she’s expecting him to kiss it, so he does. He manages to appear almost gallant.

ANA (cont’d): It’s so obvious I don’t belong here, isn’t it? You’ve already assisted me so much, perhaps I could impose upon you for another favor?

Mal, Zoe, and Inara are back, but when Ana smiles, it’s all for Jayne.

ANA (cont’d) I’m looking for a ship.

EXT. SERENITY – OPEN RAMP – DAY

SHEPHERD BOOK is planted in the middle of the ramp, arms crossed, looking down at BADGER and his two THUGS, who stand on the ground, trying to appear menacing.

BADGER: Got business wi’ your captain.

BOOK: Already told you he’s not here.

BADGER When good Captain Reynolds does get back, you tell ‘im I don’t appreciate ‘im settin’ down in my world wi’out—

RIVER, barefoot, steps out onto the ramp behind Book, gazing directly at Badger.

BADGER (cont’d): Well, luv. Was ‘oping I might find you ‘ere. Thought maybe we could talk.

She begins to slowly walk down the ramp.

RIVER: (mimicking his accent): Ain't no talking to you. Never listen.

BADGER (smiling): That's because so few people are worth listening to.

SIMON rushes onto the ramp from Serenity’s cargo hold, apparently having been looking for River.

SIMON: River!

Badger gives a little nod as he looks at Simon, as if Simon has just confirmed something very important.

From the crowd behind Badger…

MAL (OS): Thought I made myself clear last time, Badger. You don't come near my ship. You send a wave.

Badger turns. Mal is rushing out of the crowd toward him, followed by Zoe and Inara. Badger looks at his two Thugs as if to say “Why did I even bother bringing you?”

BADGER (to Mal): If you answered your waves, we wouldn't have this situation.

Mal and Badger are now face-to-face.

MAL: Maybe you can't see it, but you don't want to be talkin' to me right now, Badger. Walk away.

BADGER (unimpressed): Got me ‘ands on a priority bulletin a while back. Alliance fugitives. Thought the pretty lass in the picture looked a bit familiar.

Badger looks at River.

BADGER (cont’d): Miss River Tam, they call ‘er.

He turns and smiles back at Simon.

Simon takes an angry step forward, but Book blocks him with a shake of his head.

BOOK: Don’t, son.

BADGER (to River): ‘ow’ve you been, Miss Tam?

RIVER: Been better, luv. ‘ad a right ‘ard time lately, what wi’ folks chasin’ me down like an animal.

BADGER: You ever need protection, luv, you tell Captain Reynolds to give me a call. (to Mal) Good thing you're always on the move, Captain. Every time the Alliance sends out a fresh warrant, I know she's okay.

MAL: So you're saying you didn't sell us out, or you won't sell us out?

BADGER: Captain, I'm insulted. Alliance money would be tempting, true, but ‘aving them nosing around my operation? Can't ‘ave that. So you see, I don't make a penny either way, do I?

RIVER: Some folks say silence is golden.

BADGER: My silence is certainly worth something, ‘specially when it concerns a cute little lass such as yourself.

SIMON: I've had about enough of this.

This time, Book has to physically hold him back. By now, KAYLEE and WASH are on the ramp, as well.

RIVER (to Badger) So what can a lass do to keep you golden?

BADGER: What did you have in mind?

RIVER: We should go dancing.

Mal doesn’t really know what the hell’s going on anymore, and he doesn’t much care.

MAL (to River and Badger): Before you start planning a date for this thing, I'll remind you that I'm not having my best day ever. (to Badger) I still want you gone. Got a passenger wants off Persephone near as much as I do, and I don’t want your ugly face ‘round here scarin’ her off when she shows.

BADGER: Should be nicer to me, Captain. Show me a little respect. Persephone’s my ‘ome.

Mal glares. Badger smiles at him, tips his hat to River.

BADGER (cont’d): You send me a wave next time you’re coming to Persephone, Captain.

Mal starts up the ramp, River, Zoe, and Inara in tow.

SIMON (to River): I don't want you near that guy. What were you thinking?

RIVER: He's my friend. We talk the same.

WASH (to Mal): We have a passenger? Where?

MAL: She’s with Jayne. Gettin’ her stuff.

ZOE: Jayne’s the one found her.

KAYLEE: Shiny! I love passengers!

WASH: Jayne found us work? Does that seem right?

As Mal and the crew head into the CARGO HOLD, Badger and his Thugs head for the CROWD.

They walk up to the Kid who snatched Ana’s purse, who is waiting for them. Badger tosses him a coin. He smiles, turns, and sinks into the crowd.

Badger looks back at Serenity.

BADGER: Persephone’s my ‘ome, Captain.