BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

OMELET

New Beginnings: What’s in a Name?
Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Ever wanted to know how Jayne got that name? Well, this is an attempt to show exactly why Jayne is a girl’s name. BTW, I am not writing in block format again. Please shoot me next time I do that. Love ya everyone, Omelet.


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2165    RATING: 9    SERIES: FIREFLY

Feedback is always nice to have.

Author’s Note 1: Alrighty, this thing is after New Beginnings, though you don’t have to have read it to read this one. This is just for good ol’ fun, like anything in life should be. Once again, this is Joss’s ‘verse, not mine and I just like to borrow it for a few minutes.

Author’s Note 2: This is PG-13 again because of the violence, language, and sexual content not appropriate for people under 13, though I think anyone can handle this as long as you’re not like squeamish from the thought of someone being shot.

Author’s Note 3: I took all of your comments to heart and didn’t write this one in block format. If I ever do that again, you have permission to come to my house and beat me senseless. Even bring Chuck Norris with ya if you want.

************************************************** New Beginnings: What’s in a Name?

“Gimme the gorram toast,” said Jayne as he sat down at the breakfast. He was the last to show up, which was a surprise considering that Kaylee and Simon usually arrived late most of the time and usually they both wore yesterday’s clothes.

“You could say ‘please’. It don’t hurt to be polite now an’ then,” replied Kaylee.

“Jayne polite? That’ll be the day,” added Simon.

“I was polite once. I told a woman she smelled like my favorite vibrator.”

Everyone stopped eating. They just stared at Jayne with all their mouth hanging open. Even River, who knew exactly what he was going to say, decided to stop eating for a minute to take in what he had just said.

“I think I’m finished eating my breakfast today. I’ll see you later Kaylee.”

Simon left the table and gave her a small peck on the cheek.

“What? What did I do? Alls I said was that a woman smelled like-“

“Don’t say it again,” interrupted Mal. “It was disgustin’ enough to hear it once. Another time and I’ll barf.”

“Sir, the cargo was safely put on the ship the morning. It shouldn’t take more than a day to get to Whitefall,” said Zoë, pushing what Jayne had said back to the farthest reaches of her mind.

“That’s good. The sooner we get paid, the sooner we can re-supply.”

Jayne dropped his spoon at that moment. “Did you just say Whitefall?”

“Yeah, she did. Is somethin’ wrong with that place that you hafta ask questions bout it?”

“You didn’t say nothin’ bout goin’ there to me Mal.”

“What’s wrong with you Jayne? Me, the Captain, and you are gonna go drop off the cargo there and then you can get some money, unless you don’t want your share.”

“Don’t we have to pick up ‘Nara first?”

“That’s not for another three days Jayne. Is somethin’ botherin’ you, cause if you’ve got a problem with this place-,” started Mal until he was interrupted by Jayne.

“I can stay behind?”

“No. You can suck it up and go with us.”

Zoë chuckled to herself at what Mal had just said and couldn’t help but laugh at Jayne’s expression. Saying his final words on the matter, Mal stood up from the table and put his bowl in the sink. Zoë did the same and both left towards the cargo bay to check the cargo.

Kaylee stood up from her seat and rinsed her plate in the sink. “I’m gonna go to the engine room. I’m sure Serenity needs me now.”

“Yeah right. You’re probly gonna find that Doc and give him a quickie.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and left the room.

“You can’t hide it for long. Jayne’s a girl’s name.” said River. She left the room as well leaving Jayne all by himself.

“Say it ta anybody and I’ll show you that Jayne ain’t a girl,” he yelled back at her, even though she was halfway to the cockpit by then. She knew what he was trying to desperately hide.

***

“What’s in the boxes,” said Mal to Zoë as he tried to lift the lid on the single box to his right. Just as he was about to open it, Zoë put her hand on his, pulling it away from the container.

“Our clients said not to open them, remember sir?”

“Yeah, but I wanna see what’s inside.”

“Sir, you can’t just go lookin’ in people’s stuff. We do want our cut, right?”

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them. Besides, it wouldn’t be smart not to.”

“Whatever you say sir.”

Mal lifted the lid on the container. Inside was a collection of teddy bears and stuffed animals in this specific container. He opened the other one next to it. It was filled with pink blankets and sheets with teddy bear pictures, rattles, and baby bottles. The last box was much larger than the others. It was as long as a man was tall and came up to Mal’s waist.

“What do you think could be in that one sir,” said Zoë.

“Only one way to find out,” he replied.

Mal opened the last lid with Zoë’s help. They peered inside the box. Zoë started to smile and Mal looked very confused. Inside was a large baby crib. It was a shade of pink with flowers around the corners and railings.

“It’s a baby crib sir,” Zoë said breaking the awkward silence between the two of them.

“I know it’s a crib Zoë. Why the hell are we transportin’ it on my boat?”

“Seems our clients are havin’ a baby sir.”

Jayne walked into the cargo bay and saw Zoë and Mal looking in the boxes. He couldn’t help but see what was inside. Jayne walked over so he ended up right behind Mal and Zoë.

“What ya’ll lookin’ at in there?” He looked down in the box and saw the baby crib. “Ah! What’s that gorram thing doin’ on this ship? Mal, why’d ya open this box. It ain’t yours.”

“What’s you problem Jayne. You’ve been actin’ awful strange since this mornin’. It’s just a baby crib. You ain’t afraid of babies, are ya,” said Mal as he took one of the teddy bears from the other box and waved it in Jayne’s face. Zoë chuckled at Jayne’s reaction when he flinched away form the toy and nearly fell over as he tripped on the box of sheets behind him.

“I ain’t scared o’ nothin’. Just that this job’s a little too easy and fluffy for my taste. Maybe we should throw it out the airlock just in case there aren’t explosives in that thing you’re shakin’ around,” he replied with an unconfident tone in his voice, like he was hiding something.

“No chance in hell are we throwin’ this out. One o’ the easiest jobs we’ve pulled so far. No ruttin’ way is this goin’ out the airlock. That’s final,” replied Mal. He and Zoë sealed up the boxes as if they had never been opened and stacked them back in order. They were about to leave the bay, until Mal turned around to face Jayne, one last time. “I suggest you go find that Doctor of ours and check to see if your brain’s all there.”

River leaned over the edge of the scaffoldings in the cargo bay. “You can’t lie forever Jayne. The baby needs it’s crib.”

“What the hell are you doin’ up there ya moonbrain? Aren’t you s’posed to be flyin’ this thing,” he said, a little disturbed that River was overhead listening to everything he had just said.

“It won’t be long Jayne.” She skipped away from the cargo bay giggling and headed back to the cockpit to fly the ship before Mal saw that no one was flying this thing.

Crazy has to be sneakin’ up on me, followin’ me, leavin’ me scared to death. I better do somethin’ quick ‘fore someone finds out about all this stuff, though Jayne as he left the bay and started walking towards the infirmary to find Simon who might be able to give Jayne something to calm him down.

***

“Wow Simon, I didn’t know you had it in ya. That was amazin’” panted Kaylee. She was lying down on the exam table with Simon over her. He looked completely dazed and was panting as well. “You okay sweetie?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.” He leaned in to kiss her. Both of their clothes were scattered across the infirmary floor. Kaylee had finally convinced Simon to make love to her in the infirmary, which was no easy task considering the fact that Simon was pretty paranoid about making love to her anywhere for fear of River popping out of nowhere and somehow stumbling upon the two of them, like she had done back when Serenity was under some repairs right after they had come back from the Reaver attack.

“I’m glad ya listened to me Dr. Tam. I told you I needed an exam soon. Thanks for takin’ the time to do it in your extremely busy schedule.”

“No problem. We should get dressed before someone comes in and sees us.”

“Do we hafta? I was kinda likin’ it right here. It’s comfy.” Kaylee brushed her hand against his cheek and then pushed back a stray hair and put it behind his ear. “Seems your hair got a little messed up there.”

“I could say the same to you.” He didn’t want to get up. He wanted to stay right there with Kaylee, but he knew he couldn’t He had tons of work to do and had to keep an eye on River on top of that. “Baobei, we really should get up. For all we know someone could walk through that door and find us like this.

“Alright, though I ain’t finished with you yet Doctor.”

He watched her get dressed. She was a goddess to him. Her soft hair and perfume was all that he needed to get him worked up. Simon actually though of picking her back up and placing her back on the exam chair, but he suppressed his impulses.

“Whatcha lookin’ at,” said Kaylee as she pulled her shirt back on.

“You. You’re just so beautiful.” Kaylee giggled when she noticed Simon was still naked on the exam chair, just staring at her. She finished dressing and threw him his boxers on the floor.

“Hey Doc, you got any-“Jayne entered the infirmary and just saw Simon completely naked while Kaylee was standing there putting her hair back up. Simon used his boxers to conceal himself and Kaylee just stood there giggling at poor Simon’s expense. “Jayne, get out now,” yelled Simon. Jayne did as he was told and left the room, hoping to not see Simon like that again.

“I’m gonna leave now. You just get yourself dressed there and hope Jayne don’t go tellin’ the Cap’n what he just saw.” Kaylee gave Simon a kiss and left him handle the situation all by himself. Simon got himself dressed quickly and straightened his hair out. “You can come back inside,” said Simon to Jayne, who was trying to picture just what Simon was doing to Kaylee.

“Mal said you could give me somethin’ to make me calm down?

“Why would you need that?”

“None o’ your gorram business when I need some drugs, now just gimme the stuff, or else I’ll go tell Mal how you two were playin’ Doctor in here.” Simon obviously didn’t want Mal to anything about his sex life and sure as hell didn’t want Jayne to be the one to tell Mal anything about it either, so he gave in and took out a syringe and shot a dose of medicine in Jayne’s vein.

“That’s better Doc. I can feel it workin’ now already.”

“You’re welcome.” Simon didn’t sound cheerful when he said it.

“By the way, I did it in that same exam chair with another girl before you was here Doc.” Jayne left the infirmary leaving Simon with a look of disgust on his face and he put a hand to his mouth to avoid from vomiting.

***

“We’re almost there Captain,” said River to Mal as he sat in the co-pilot’s chair.

“Thought it would take another five hours. How’d we get here so fast,” he replied with a little confusion on his face.

“Took a shortcut. We needed to get here quickly.”

“Huh. Better for us. We may even get an extra cut outta this. Better go get Jayne and Zoë.

“Jayne’s a girl’s name,” said River to herself as Mal left the cockpit.

***

“Alright,” started Mal, “we’re here early. Might as well get goin’ now and get these boxes loaded on the mule. Zoë, Jayne, and River you’re with me. Everyone else, stay on the ship. Dong ma? Oh, and no more joyrides to the shopping district without my permission or else it won’t be a pretty sight when I get back.”

“That was only once Cap’n and was River’s fault too,” replied Kaylee as she gave a little push to River who giggled back at her in return.

“Yes sir,” replied Zoë. “Jayne help me load this stuff on the back of the mule.”

“No ruttin’ way I’m getting’ outta this,” mumbled Jayne under his breath.

Simon and Kaylee left the cargo bay to the rest of them. Zoë hitched another part to the mule and started piling the boxes on. “Jayne, get over here and help me load this stuff,” yelled Zoë to Jayne. He was standing there looking like he was daydreaming almost. “Jayne!”

“What? Oh, yeah.”

Jayne helped Zoë load the large box with the crib in the back. “Why you wearin’ that hat your ma gave ya Jayne,” asked Mal as he got in the passenger’s seat of the mule. “’Cause it looks cunning on me. ‘Sides, feels like I’ll be needin’ to wear it. Boxes loaded. Let’s hurry up and get this job done and over with.”

“What’s your hurry? Ain’t no need to rush, unless you got somethin’ to do. Plus, this could finally be the one job that actually goes over smooth,” replied Mal.

“Not smooth for Jayne,” said River as she took the drivers’ seat. “Secrets and teddy bears.”

“What the hell are ya babblin’ ya moonbrain,” said Jayne with a hint of uneasiness.

“I don’t care. Let’s go and get this job done already,” replied Mal.

Zoë hopped in the back of the mule with Jayne and River started up the engine. “Take her outta here Lil’ Albatross. We got us some work to do.”

“Shirr ah Captain.”

***

River pulled the mule over by some quaint home. The house was a shade of tan and the roof, a light shade of red. There was a white picket fence around the house and a small garden in the back. No other homes were around and it was quite a rural place to be. “Are you sure you got the right place? Did we get lost Lil Albatross,” said Mal as he got out of the mule, starting to scout out the area.

“This is the right place,” she replied.

“Would you rather we be in another angry bar deliverin’ these teddy bears,” replied Zoë to Mal’s question.

“Rather we were. If I’m gonna go through this, I’m gonna do it like a man,” mumbled Jayne.

“What was that Jayne,” asked Zoë.

“Nothin’!”

“Let’s go knock on the door then,” said Mal.

They all walked over to the fence and Zoë opened the gate. Jayne was acting quite strange. He tied his hat and started to tuck his shirt in his pants, trying to dignify himself. Zoë thought it was a little unsettling to see Jayne acting somewhat respectable and cleanly. Hell, he was wearing one of the ugliest hats she had ever seen. Even though it held sentimental value to him, he didn’t have to wear that ugly thing to a job. Something was definitely up with him. River knocked on the door. “Coming,” said a woman on the other side. She sounded old. The door opened.

“Hello ma’am, I’m Captain Malcol-“

"Peaches, it’s been so long. Why haven’t you come to see me sooner? I’ve been missing you so,” exclaimed the woman as she interrupted Mal from his little hello greeting. “Peaches,” repeated Zoë with a confused tone.

The woman ran over to Jayne and hugged him. She was a smaller than Jayne and it was a funny site to see the size difference between the two of them. Mal’s and Zoë’s faces looked in complete shock and confusion, wondering why this woman was hugging Jayne, of all people.

“Guys, this is my mother, Laura Cobb,” said Jayne as he stopped hugging her and turned her around to meet the rest of the crew.

“This is your mother? Jayne, why didn’t you tell us she lived here in the first place,” asked Mal.

“Well, ya see I was gonna, but then I-“

“Oh, you brought me the things I asked for.” Mrs. Cobb ran over to the back of the mule and opened one of the boxes. “Ah! I’ve been waitin’ for these to come. They bring back so many memories.” She pulled out one of the teddy bears in the box and held it dearly against her chest. “These things used to be Jayne’s”

Mal and Zoë just couldn’t help but snicker and let out small giggles of laughter at the thought of transporting Jayne’s old baby affects. “You mean to tell me that we’ve been transportin’ all your old baby things Jayne,” asked Mal.

“This ain’t funny Mal!”

“Sure as hell is to me,” replied Zoë who was now laughing uncontrollably.

“Would you fine people mind helpin’ me bring these things inside? After that, ya’ll can come inside and I can make ya some nice green tea. How does that sound,” asked Mrs. Cobb.

“Of course ma’am. We’re happy to oblige,” replied Mal.

“What about Simon and Kaylee sir, are we gonna let them come join us for the tea party,” asked Zoë.

“Maybe later when we start story time.”

***

“This is really good tea ma’am,” said Zoë as she took another sip from her cup.

“Used to be Jayne’s favorite growin’ up,” replied Mrs. Cobb.

“Ma’am, if you don’t mind me askin’, why were we transportin’ Jayne’s things? I thought that you would have them with ya yourself. Oh, and why was Jayne’s baby crib pink,” said Mal after he took another sip from his tea and ate another biscuit.

Jayne started choking on his tea when he heard Mal ask the last question. He had never told anyone that story and was about to have a full blow heart attack if his mother really did reveal that secret.

“To answer you first question, I just recently moved and needed to have all of my pookie’s things with me. I just couldn’t bear the thought of leavin’ these things. They bring back too many memories. Like the time Jayne first went to school, he was cryin’ like a little baby. And this was the sixth grade we’re talkin’ bout. I had home-schooled him when he was smaller and decided it would be a good thing for him to learn a thing or two at school. Anyways, he was blubberin’ like a baby and just couldn’t stop. What happened was that his diaper was full and needed me to change it for him. Jayne always had a bladder problem when he was little and needed a diaper to help him sometimes when he just couldn’t control himself. Oh, you should’ve seen it.”

Mal, Zoë and River were now just laughing hysterically and Jayne was sitting in his chair completely stunned and embarrassed. “Uh ma, I think that’s enough stories for today and-“

“No, no ma’am, don’t stop. These stories are just too good to not hear,” replied Mal. Jayne threw a bad glance towards Mal’s direction.

“Well, if I answer your second question, then that in itself is a story,” she replied.

“Go ahead by all means ma’am.”

“Ah go suh,” said Jayne.

“Watch your tongue Jayne Cobb,” snapped his mother. “You asked why Jayne had a pink crib. Well, as you may have realized, Jayne is usually considered a girl’s name. When I was pregnant, the doctor had told me that my baby would be a girl when it was born. Unfortunately, the doctor had gone drinkin’ the night beforehand and messed up on tellin’ me what the right gender of the baby was. Anywho, after I got back from the hospital, I started to buy all a manner of baby girl things like bows and stuffed teddy bears and that especially large pink crib.”

“I always knew Jayne was a girl’s name,” said Mal while looking at Jayne, who was downright pissed.

“I ain’t finished yet,” said Mrs. Cobb. “Anyway, I even picked out a beautiful name for my baby girl, Janette. You see, when Jayne was born, they had thought it was gonna be a baby girl too. So, when he came out, I immediately named him Janette Lily Cobb. To this day, that’s Jayne’s real name, though he shortened it to Jayne when he got older and realized that Janette ain’t the manliest of names to have.”

River was on the floor laughing hysterically and Zoë looked like she was gonna die from her laughter. Mal was nearly brought to tears a few times. ”Are you sayin’ that Jayne’s real name is Janette,” asked Zoë.

“That’s right,” replied Mrs. Cobb as she started picking up the tea cups and saucers. Zoë was now crying, no sobbing at the thought of a big burly man with a name like Janette. “Wait, what was his middle name again?” “Lily.” Zoë was now on the floor sobbing and laughing along with River. Even though River had known what Mrs. Cobb was going to say, she still found it extremely humorous to hear it out loud.

“Alright,” said Jayne as he yelled above the others’ laughter. “I think it’s time to get outta here now. Ma, it’s been a real-“

“Jayne. Jayne Cobb. Get your sorry ass out here now,” yelled a strange voice outside the Cobb home. Everyone stopped laughing immediately. Zoë and River got up off the floor and Jayne drew his gun.

“Seems like some friends have come to drop by,” said Mal.

***

Kaylee had been working in the engine room for six straight hours now. She was completely filthy. All she really wanted was to take a nice hot shower. She closed up the panel that she was working on and left the engine room. She walked down to her bunk and gathered some clean clothes from her drawer. The bathroom was fairly clean after she had scrubbed them three days ago with Inara. Kaylee walked into the bathrooms and turned on one of the showers. The water felt good. It had a long while since she had a nice hot shower. She usually went last and when she finally got in the shower, it was freezing cold.

She turned off the water and stepped out. Inara would have to comb her hair when she got back. Suddenly, a beep was coming from the cockpit. Wonder if that’s the Cap’n, she thought. She wrapped a towel around herself and headed towards the noise.

“Kaylee, pick up the gorram comm. I gotta talk to ya,” said Mal.

“I’m here Cap’n. Need somethin’?” “It’d be nice if you could get over here quickly. Seems like the plan may not go as smoothly as planned.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Hurry up Lil’ Kaylee or else we won’t be able to tell you the funny stories we collected ‘bout Jayne over here.” Mal hung up.

“Who was th-,” started Simon until he noticed Kaylee in a towel. “Baobei, why are you in a towel in the cockpit? Not that I’m objecting or anything.”

“Maybe later there cowboy, but for now the Cap’n waved us. We need to get over there as soon as possible. The plan seems like it ain’t gonna go our way again.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Can you take us over there? I need to go get dressed now and maybe dry my hair a little. Not to mention take out the big guns and then go find Vera and…” Kaylee walked off listing a ton of things she had to do now that they had to rescue the rest of the crew.

“Sure.” She was already half way down the hall and heading towards the bathroom now. Simon sat in the pilot’s seat and started up Serenity for lift off. It wouldn’t take long for Simon and Kaylee to reach them.

***

“Ma’am, I’d suggest that you go and hide somewhere in the home. You’ve a basement,” said Mal.

“Yes, I do.”

“Good. Then go and hide there ‘till we get back. Dong ma?”

“Alright. Jayne, please be careful.” She went over to Jayne and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek before she headed down below.

“No tamade hundan is gonna lay a hand on my ma,” said Jayne as he took out a gun from his holster and another from his pants. He was about to go right out the door against who knows how many people until Zoë stopped him.

“Hold on there Jayne. We don’t know how many guys are out there. At least let us get our guns out before-.” It was too late. Jayne had already gone out the door. Thirteen men were outside, not including the one that had called out Jayne personally.

“Jayne Cobb. It’s been awhile,” said the lead man.

“Same to you Lance.” Jayne was holding his guns in the ready position, just in case something happened.

“How’re we gonna get outta this sir,” said Zoë and she and Mal walked out of the house and with their guns loaded and ready. River followed them outside as well, readying herself for whatever happened. Mal handed her a gun he had hidden in his coat and stood in front of her, protecting her from any gunfire.

“Still workin’ on the plan,” he replied.

“Right.”

“Seems you got yourself outnumbered there. How bout ya’ll surrender and give up this house o’ yours and we’ll all call it even,” said Lance.

“No ruttin’ way you son of a bitch. This here’s my home and no one’s takin’ it without me sayin’ somethin’ ‘bout it.”

“Seems like you don’t got much of a choice here. How bout I do this. I’ll count to five to give you some time to think it over ‘fore we have some target practice. One, Two, Three, Four-,” just as soon as Lance finished saying the number four, Serenity came from the West and landed next to the house. “What the hell?”

Simon and Kaylee stood in the cargo bay with Vera, some other guns in hand, and one single grenade. Jayne fired on a few of the men while they were distracted. He took out two and Zoë was able to take out one. “Fall back,” said Mal as heavy gunfire came their way. They all retreated back into the house. Simon threw a grenade. “There goes the last one we have,” he said. It landed on the ground and everyone took cover.

“Did anyone hear an explosion,” said Zoë.

“So that’s where I put that thing,” replied Mal. He stood up and started firing again, taking out another two while they were distracted from the false grenade. Only nine more remained including Lance.

“Kaylee, pass me Vera,” said Simon. She gave him the gun. “I hope to God I can use this thing.” He moved out of concealment and started shooting, hoping he’d hit something with that bulky gun. When he stopped and released his pressure on the trigger, three more men were down on the ground. “Not bad Simon,” said Kaylee. “Guess I can…Whoa!” Gunfire soon commenced in their direction again. He and Kaylee ducked behind a crate again, waiting for the others to finish the job.

“We only got six more to…ah!” Zoë had been shot on the shoulder and started to bleed badly.

“Hang in there Zoë. We’re almost done here,” said Mal to comfort her as she dropped her large shotgun and took a pistol in one hand and put pressure on her bullet wound with the other.

River took a look outside. Three were charging towards the house. She rose from her hiding spot and shot them down in two seconds flat before they could even get to the doorway.

“Nice shooting Lil’ Albatross,” said Mal.

Jayne stood up and stood in the doorway. He shot the two men guarding Lance. One of them lived, but he ran away before Jayne could try and kill him again.

“Seems you got yourself outnumbered there Lance,” said Jayne.

“Jayne, my old buddy. Can’t we talk things through? I really didn’t mean-” Jayne hit Lance across the jaw with the front of his gun. He fell over onto the ground and spat out some blood. Jayne held the gun to Lance’s head, ready to pull the trigger.

“Wait! Just wait a minute! I’ll do anything, just please don’t shoot me,” exclaimed Lance. He crawled over to Jayne’s boots and started groveling for mercy.

“Get up you worthless hundan. Ain’t nothin’ worse than a grovelin’ worm,” replied Jayne. “Go on, git ‘fore I change my mind.”

Lance got up off the ground and ran away, accidentally tripping over one of the bodies on the ground and falling flat on his face again. He got up and continued running.

“That was mighty generous of you Jayne. Didn’t know you were merciful,” said Mal as he helped Zoë get up, trying not to cause any more blood from escaping her wound.

“He wasn’t worth it. If a man has to beg for his life and can’t go out like a man, then he ain’t worth killin’ in the first place,” he replied.

“Hello up there. Is the fightin’ over with? Can I come back up now,” yelled Mrs. Cobb from the basement.

***

“Thank you again Mrs. Cobb for all your hospitality. Sorry for the bullet holes in the wall though,” said Mal as he and Jayne were about to leave the house.

“It ain’t a problem. Captain, I’d like to personally thank you for all your hard work keeping Janette,” she saw that Jayne flinched at the sound of his real, “excuse me, Jayne safe all this time and thank you for savin’ my home.”

“No problem ma’am. You should be thankin’ your son more-so than me.”

“Thank you my boy. I’m gonna miss you.” Mrs. Cobb wrapped her arms around her son and they stood there like that for two minutes.

“Not to rush things here, but we gotta get goin’ Jayne,” said Mal as he tapped Jayne on the shoulder.

“We promise to come visit soon ma. I love ya. Oh, don’t forget to call the Feds and get these bodies cleaned up ma.”

Mal nearly collapsed when he heard Jayne say “I love you”. He never said that to anyone. Well, mostly no one. He only said “I love you” to Vera and his vibrator, but that was different. Jayne looked different somehow, like a side of him that was never shown was emerging and starting to become part of him from now on. They walked out the front door, waving goodbye to Mrs. Cobb as they left.

“Ruttin’ jackasses,” said Jayne as he kicked one of the dead bodies on the ground.

I take that back. Jayne’s still Jayne, thought Mal.

***

“Well, you should get some rest now. You’re lucky that bullet didn’t go any lower, or might have hit your heart,” said Simon as he finished stitching up Zoë.

“Thanks Doctor. I’ll keep that in mind next time someone shoots me.” Zoë hopped off the exam chair and headed towards the kitchen to get a bite to eat. She turned around for a minute and faced Simon again. “By the way Doc, watch out for Kaylee. She’s been rantin’ that she didn’t get to have a good shower because of our heroics back there.” She walked out the doorway.

“So,” said Jayne as he entered the infirmary, “I hear that you touched my Vera.”

“Well, it was the best one there,” replied Simon, a little frightened that Jayne would beat him up or worse, tell Mal that he had made love to Kaylee on the exam chair that he had just sat on a few hours ago.

“I also hear you took out four men with her.”

“Yes, I did.”

Jayne came over to Simon and suddenly hugged him. Simon was a little confused at what was happening right then.

“Vera made a man outta you Doc. I’m proud o’ ya.” Jayne left the infirmary, leaving Simon a little disgusted that he was now a man by Jayne’s standards and somewhat confused how the man who most openly hated him gave him a hug.

“What’s wrong with you sweetie,” said Kaylee as she stood out the doorway. “Jayne just hugged me,” he replied, still trying to shake the awkward feeling so he could be intimate with Kaylee. She giggled at his words and expression.

“He ain’t a better hugger than me is he?”

Simon walked over toward her and put his hands around her waist. “Not even close.” He kissed her and brought her closer to him. “So, I heard that you really didn’t get to enjoy your shower as much as you’d like to.”

***

“Why was it those men wanted your home,” asked Mal as he and Jayne were playing a friendly game of poker.

“Well, I uh accidentally bet my house during a poker game and Lance happened to be the winner,” replied Jayne.

“Did you ever tell your mother that?”

“Nope. Don’t think I ever will.”

“So you gave away your house in a poker game.”

“I was drunk! I passed out later in the game and then they stole my money too.”

“Oh, by the way, you owe me some money after this game Janette.” Mal showed his hand. It was a royal flush. Jayne couldn’t believe his eyes and handed over his share of the cut. Jayne didn’t know if he was madder at Mal taking all his money or the fact that he would never forget his true name.

**************************************************

Translations:

Dong ma: Understand

Tamade Hundan: Fucking bastard

Go suh: Crap

Shirr ah: Affirmative

Feedback is deeply appreciated.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 3:04 AM

BOOKADDICT


Hey good story. I like your take on how Jayne got his name.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 9:35 AM

BELLONA


janette lily...oh, that's just too much!!! and jayne hugging simon 'cause she "made a man" outta him, priceless!!!
“By the way, I did it in that same exam chair with another girl before you was here Doc.”
the ultimate gross-out: jayne cobb had sex where you did.

b

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 11:38 AM

OMELET


Damn, forgot to login as well.

Omelet

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 11:58 AM

OMELET


Much better with the formating, but now there was spelling and grammatical errors.
If you need someone to beta your stories, please let me know.

Would you really do that for me?

I would so give you a smooch if I could.

Thursday, January 12, 2006 11:26 AM

NYKEGYRL


Great!! Really liked this one!! Although the thought of Jayne and a vibrator is just gross!!!!! YUCK!!

Saturday, November 25, 2006 10:32 AM

HANDSOF


Simon and Jayne hugging was funny as all get out, but his name? Well that was just priceless.

Thanks for making me laugh


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