Kaylee’s thoughts were runnin’ round her head like an out of control engine.

Early had scared her, scared her so much that for the first time in her life she wasn’t interested in sex. Him attackin’ her in the engine room had made her nervous bein’ there, her work on Serenity was sufferin’. She felt so bad ‘bout that.

Today she was determined to go to the engine room and conquer her fear. Serenity needed her. Absently she picked up the box of parts she knew neither the Captain nor Jayne would let her carry.

Simon hadn’t been talkin’ much with her since she’d told everyone ‘bout River. Their more off than on relationship seemed to be finished. But now Simon, with his incredible bad timin’, had picked this mornin’ to start flirtin’ with her again.

Why now? She had waited so long for the doctor to notice her, think it appropriate to be with her. And when he hadn’t, she had started to move on. Gradually in the back of her mind she’d started thinkin’ on Jayne, getting’ him interested in her.

She weren’t sure what to do ‘bout anythin’. What she really wanted to do was talk over her problems with Inara.

But ‘Nara was gone. She’d left and weren’t goin’ to come back. It had taken Kaylee a while to realise that. In the few weeks that Inara had been gone, they’d spoken twice on waves and it was clear that her friend never expected to return.

Captain was moody as hell since ‘Nara left. Shepherd had gone off visitin’ some Abbey, just seemed like everythin’ was changin’ too fast.

Her arms full of box and her head full of jumbled thoughts Kaylee’s foot got caught on the metal edge of the step and she took a tumble down the steps ending up flat on her back in the cargo bay.

***********************

“How is she Doc?” asked the captain.

Coming running at the sound of Wash’s voice, the sight of Kaylee lying unmoving in the cargo bay surrounded by engine parts had scared the hell out of him. The mechanic was vital to the runnin’ of the ship and special to them all.

“Although she hit her head, Kaylee didn’t do more than bruise her spine.” The doctor paused, “however, her ribs are broken and so is her arm. Her right arm.”

“What does that mean? How long she going to be out of commission?”

“Kaylee will be well enough, as long as she is careful, to move around in two to three days. But her arm is more of a problem. We don’t have a bone knitter so I will have to immobilise her arm in plaster for approximately six weeks.”

“Six weeks?” Serenity would need Kaylee’s special brand of mechanics before that. The captain whirled and left the infirmary.

He found Jayne in the cargo bay methodically pickin’ up the machine parts scattered all over the floor.

“Jayne” He explained the situation “Since you already help her sometimes, I want you to help Kaylee out in the engine room.”

The big man nodded “alright Mal.”

“You ain’t gonna argue?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?” Mal was always suspicious of the mercenary’s motives.

“Don’t want the ship to fall outta the sky with me on it,” Jayne growled “prefer to be alive not dead.”

****************************

Kaylee flinched when Simon reached out to touch her. Lucky he had turned to pick up a syringe and hadn’t noticed.

He gave her a smoother injection to keep the pain in her arm bearable. “Just remember Kaylee, no using that arm at all. Just watch Jayne do the work.”

Kaylee nodded, she was itchin’ to get back to Serenity. She hadn’t been into the engine room in three days.

She addressed the mercenary who was lounging in the doorway. “Come on Jayne, we got plenty of work to do.”

Jayne thought that somethin’ was wrong. The girl had nearly jumped out of her skin when the doc touched her. He followed her silently up to the engine room and was surprised when Kaylee stopped dead at the doorway, all hesitant like.

Now he knew there was a problem. The place was hers, she came here to work, to cry, be alone, be happy and now here she was, afraid to go in. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong.” Jayne’s voice filled the room, makin’ her jump.

“Wrong” Kaylee echoed.

“Ya been skittish for days girl. Then ya go fallin’ down stairs breakin’ bones and now your frightened to go in ya own engine room.”

He frowned at her an unwelcome thought enterin’ his head. “Did that ta ma de hun dan Early do more‘t’ ya than ya said?”

Kaylee wouldn’t look at him; still in the doorway, she was starin’ at the floor, hair coverin’ her face, arms wrapped defensively round her body. How long had she been feelin’ like this? And how come no-one had noticed that she weren’t right?

Felt guilty ‘bout that, felt guilty again ‘bout sleepin’ through Early’s attack, made his voice harsh when he asked. “Did he rape ya, Kaylee?”

She shook her head relievin’ him a bit, “No. No, he tied me up. Threatened to rape me, the words they, they made me feel all shaky inside. ‘Shamed I couldn’t fight him. Now I dream all the time that he did it.”

Jayne stepped into the engine room so she’d have to follow him, “from what I hear everyone ‘cept the crazy girl had problems fightin’ him.”

“I shoulda’ tried harder, instead I told him where River was,” Kaylee whispered.

“Maybe,” he agreed “or maybe not.”

“What’s that mean Jayne?” Kaylee was exasperated with him and stepped into the engine room to argue.

“Means he didn’t do worse to ya, means ya givin’ in made him think the girl would be a pushover. Gave her the edge.”

Well she didn’t really believe that, but it was sort of comfortin’ Kaylee thought.

Jayne interrupted her thoughts “’bout the other. Maybe ya should talk to Zoë, could help with the dreams and such.”

Kaylee shook her head; she didn’t really want anyone else to know. “No. I just want to get back to fixin’ Serenity.”

“Alright then, sit in ya hammock and order me round.” He grinned at her “Bet ya gonna get a kick outta that.”

****************************

Kaylee sat swingin’ in her hammock watchin’ Jayne work, he was doin’ alright with the fixin’.

For the last couple of days she’d been feelin’ some easier. The day before Jayne had arrived with some of his smaller guns and a couple of knives. He had proceeded to show her the best place to hide them so she could grab them when needed. Kaylee knew she could probably never use them, but they were there.

And so was Jayne. He’d done somethin’ for her without even realisin’ it. His fierce frown when he was concentratin’ on followin’ her instructions, his growled curses when he got stuff wrong, the grin on his face when he was tellin’ her a dirty joke, Jayne’s presence in the engine room were chasin’ away the memories of Early and what he’d done and said to her. He was givin’ her back the engine room, her refuge.

Made her start thinkin’ again, thinkin’ ‘bout Jayne.

Ta ma de hun dan = Mother humping son of a bitch