OK, I think this is a good place to leave this one. Just a short little coda to finish things off. I got what I wanted out of this series: rousing adventure, bad jokes, and (in my mind) a better working over of how Simon gets his girl (seriously. The "we're gonna die so I might as well proposition you" thing from the movie? Good lord.) I also got a lot of writing practice, which is good for me since I'm usually quite left brained.

I don't have any solid ideas of where to go next, but I'm sure something will come to me eventually. Feel free to suggest bunnies.

Thanks to all of your for reading and commenting (and in some cases, inspiring). I feed off of your comments. Seriously, it's like crack. I may need rehab.

*******

"We gotta get up yet?" They were both awake, but in no hurry to get out of bed, preferring to snuggle under the warmer covers.

"Not if I can help it. What do you have to do today?"

"Nothin' special. Lord knows Wash or Cap'n'll blow up somethin' by lunchtime, but Serenity's runnin' fine in general."

"Hmmm, me neither. I figure I have a good few hours before someone manages to hurt themselves. In the meantime, I find the fact that we both don't have anything to do today quite fortuitous."

"You do? What does 'fortui-whats-it' mean?"

"Fortuitous? It means I'm very, very lucky."

"Oh. Yeah, I'd say you are at that." She smiled and kissed him. "An' so am I. I even get to learn new words from naked doctors."

"That's the best way to learn them. So, are we going to go to breakfast? I'm sure Jayne has more embarrassing questions, and the Captain never tires of glaring at me."

"Maybe. You gonna cook for me again?"

"I suppose that could be arranged. But first, you need to take out those earrings."

"Why? I like 'em."

"Well, yes, but I believe we had a standing engagement about your ears every morning?"

"Oh, yeah. Shiny. But I'll warn ya, I might fall asleep again. Daddy always said I was a sucker for layin' about, an' you're good at relaxin' a girl."

"Go ahead and relax. I'll wake you up if the crew breaks down the door. I'll need help fending them off, and given our state of dress, you might have to convince Mal not to shoot me."

"Don't worry, Simon. I'm sure he'd give ya a chance to explain 'fore he killed ya."

"How comforting. Now roll over."

They missed breakfast.

And lunch.

And dinner.

**

Mal had managed to go all day without knowing where the hell his doctor or mechanic were. At lunch, he'd asked Wash if he'd seen Kaylee. In response, Wash had done some type of scene with his toy dinosaurs that Mal didn't quite understand, but leaving him with the impression that Wash was crazier than River, and - judging by the way Wash had suddenly made his dinosaurs assume lewd positions - that he was better off not asking about Kaylee again until tomorrow. Not a big deal, since Beumonde was still half a day's flight out, anyway. Now it was after dinner, and he and Jayne were relaxing in the galley.

"All I know is I ain't never playin' cards on this boat again." Jayne had his feet up on the table and was picking his fingernails with a knife, grousing about the past three days.

"You always play cards, Jayne. What's got you all riled 'bout em?" Mal was likewise splayed out in a chair, coat off and suspenders down.

Jayne started counting on his fingers, enumerating his reasons for suddenly shunning poker. "Well, let's see. Last time we played cards 'round here: I got all manner of hung over, woke up next to your sorry ass lookin' all sly, and the prissy Doc got hisself a good looking woman keep him company at night while a real man like me goes without. Not to mention all the thrillin' gettin' shot at." Jayne shrugged in frustration. "All I got was the gorram moonbrain lookin' at me all creepy like. Don't see no percentage in me playin' no more."

Mal suddenly looked thoughtful. "Huh. This whole Simon an' Kaylee thing was caused by a card game?"

"Yeah. The nutjob done set her brother up somethin' good, traded him to Kaylee on a bet. Probably works out better for the both of 'em. Girl gets a lot less pokin' with them needles, and Kaylee gets a lot more pokin' with - "

"Whoa. Don't be finishin' that sentence, Jayne." Truthfully, Mal didn't remember that card game very well. He had somehow just assumed Kaylee'd gone and seduced the Doc that morning, and once confronted by naked flesh the boy hadn't been able to resist. Mal once had a problem with that his own self, and could understand the Doc's predicament. Least Kaylee weren't likely to hijack the ship. "You say River set it all up, now? I'd say the little albatross's got herself quite the creative streak." He smiled slyly. "Jayne, get out the deck an' set up. Oh, an' find some more of that whiskey."

"But, Mal, I just done told ya that I ain't playin' no - "

"That's an order, Jayne. Ma shong." Mal moved to the comm. "River Tam, please report to the galley at once, an' bring your brother's chores."

Simon's voice came back over the comm before River could respond. "Captain? Is River in trouble? Is someone hurt?" Mal grinned hugely as he heard Kaylee's voice in the background, telling Simon to put that gorram comm down and come back to bed already 'fore she up and injures him, an' not in that good way.

"No, Doc, River ain't hurt, though I suspect you might be if you ignore the missus any longer. You just keep that girl happy an' we'll take care of your sis a while, son." Mal turned off the comm, chuckling.

Inara glided in from the forward hallway. "Going to take advantage of poor River and pile up chores on her, Mal?" She shook her head at him as she started water for tea. "That's pretty crass, even for you."

"'Nara, let me remind you that the girl's a reader. Most like to get my ass handed to me here." Mal moved back to the table and regained his seat, grabbing the deck of cards and starting to shuffle.

River appeared from the aft hallway, barefoot and holding small pieces of paper with Simon's duties written on them. "Can I help you, Captain?"

Mal motioned to a chair. "Sit yourself down over here, little one. I hear you're quite the card player, an' I wanna check it out myself." Mal look directly into River's eyes for a long moment, as if willing her to understand something. River cocked her head in confusion for a second, then smiled evilly and nodded. Mal nodded back and winked.

"Hey, 'Nara?" Mal suddenly turned around, his face all boyish innocence. "Wanna have a drink an' play some cards?"

THE END