It wasn’t a sensation of waking really; it was more like the feeling you get when you transition from one dream to the next. You have no control, it never makes sense, and you’re basically there for the ride. Surreal was the word. But Wash was awake, fully awake for the first time in hours.

He could feel hands pressing his shoulders to the table. It was cold. He was cold.

He could barely breathe and the pain was unbearable. He had trouble pulling in even short breaths through his mouth and it felt as if needles were piercing his skin everywhere.

His head was pressed flat to one side, but it didn’t matter. His vision was cloudy and he couldn’t really make anything out. If he had to guess, he was facing the wall.

He could hear screaming. It took a second but then he realized. It was him. He was the one screaming. It was a hoarse noise, almost like a moan. He didn’t remember when he’d started and was fairly certain he couldn’t stop.

The hands on him pushed harder, holding him in place as he started to struggle. Now he couldn’t breathe at all. He was choking. This had to be what death was like.

“Jayne!” he heard from somewhere behind him. He knew that voice. He knew that name. Mal. Mal was saying something to Jayne. Jayne must be the one holding him down. “Ease up. We’re not trying to strangle him. He just needs to be immobile.”

He heard the man let out a huff of air just above him, but the pressure lessen after that. He was breathing normal again, well relatively normal.

With much effort, Wash had managed to stop himself from yelling or at least yelling at the top of his lungs, but still couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. His throat was dry and sore. He noticed now that, aside from Jayne holding down his shoulders, something was wrapped around his legs and chest keeping them from moving as well as he lay flat on his stomach.

He tried to ask a few times, ‘What’s happening?’ but never got it out quite right. It sounded heavy and garbled to his own ears. He doubted anyone else in the room even heard. Mal was talking to someone whose voice he didn’t recognize. Another man who sounded far away and tinny.

Then he felt a hand touch his back just below where the shoulder blades meet.

“It’s going to be alright,” he heard Zoë say. Her voice was soft and at the time seemed to be the only sound in the room.

And he knew without questioning it.

It would be alright if she said so.

With that he let himself relax as much as he could and drift back into darkness.

****

It had taken just over two hours to complete, but it was done.

“It’s a biggun’ that’s for sure,” Jayne said, holding the jar containing extracted parasite up to the light in it’s new home of formaldehyde.

“Is that normal?” Kaylee asked, somewhat surprised at the sheer size of it.

“No,” Zoë said flatly, walking away from the two.

They had ended the feed with Dr. Kellerman just moments ago and had redirected Serenity back to Medea. While assuring them that the operation was likely to be a success, he also stressed that there were other drugs and antibodies that should be given to Wash that were only available on Eden Station. With Kaylee tweaking the engines a bit to obtain maximum velocity, they should arrive in 36 hours. It was going to seem like an eternity.

“Let’s talk,” Mal said quietly from behind Zoë and then walked out to the storage bay.

She had a good idea what this would be about, but said nothing. Following him to the box she knew he’d end up at, she waited for him to begin.

“Wash said these were soil samples,” he said, not turning to face her but leaning forward on their new cargo, “did you see them?”

“No.”

“But he did watch them get packed?”

“He said he did.”

Mal shook his head and began to pace. Zoë waited and watched him.

“He said noting about this Lee woman working with these bugs.”

It was more of a statement then a question, but Zoë answered regardless.

“No.”

Mal turned around and faced her.

“And what do you think the odds are that this here package is loaded down with them?”

“Good,” she said nodding here head slightly, “real good.”

Mal bent down to examine the locking device on the crate. He knew Zoë was telling him the truth. Never doubted that. Zoë was truth personified. Silently he debated what to do next. He just needed to ask one more question. He stood back up and looked her square in the eyes.

“Do you think Wash knew what’s really in here?”

Zoë paused. It was a question she’d been asking over and over in her head for most of the night.

“I don’t know.”

****

Kaylee was the only one left. She’d been given the unofficial task of watching over Wash as they headed back towards Medea. They were making good time, better then they had first hoped for with her help. She’d managed to squeeze more power out of a few extra fuel cells.

“How is he?” Inara asked quietly entering the bay.

“Good, I guess,” said Kaylee, “he made it through at least.”

“Has he woken up?”

Kaylee smiled kind of nervously and shook her head.

“Well, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“No, guess it isn’t.”

Inara stood next to Kaylee, Wash lying quietly beside them. Dr. Kellerman had given them instructions for monitoring him and let them know which drugs he could take if necessary. He had been adamant as ever that they return quickly.

Inara looked down at his face. He didn’t appear to be in any pain, which was good. She probably knew Wash the least, talked with him the least out of anyone else, but she liked him. He’d been the only one on board who never brought up or even questioned her about being a companion. Knowing now he where he was from, she was no longer surprised. The others weren’t as accustomed to the roles of companions but people from the interior planets were. Maybe that was why he had never made her feel self conscious about it the way the other men could at times.

“It’s not fair,” Kaylee said softly.

Inara shook herself from her thoughts and turned to her.

“He’s a good person. He shouldn’t die like this.”

“We don’t know that he will Kaylee. He has a good chance now.”

Kaylee nodded but didn’t look convinced.

“I was so home sick my first month on board. I didn’t want Mal to know, didn’t want anyone to know. Thought Mal would turn the ship around and send me back.”

Inara nodded her understanding, realizing that all the girl needed was to be talking about something.

“I loved the job. Serenity is the best thing that ever happened to me, but I missed my family a lot more then I thought I would. Sometimes I use to sit in the back of the engine room and just cry.”

She paused regaining her composure.

“Anyway, Wash came back to there one day and found me out. At first I thought he was just going to turn back around and leave. Tell Mal or something, I’m not sure what. But he didn’t. He just sat down next to me and waited for me to finish. When I had he started talking about when he’d first left home. Said he’d been in such a hurry to get away that he never thought he’d miss the place, but he had. Missed it terrible for quite some time. I asked him if he ever stopped missing it and he kind of got this sad look on his face, real distant like and he just shook his head. Then he told me that it gets easier with time. That sometimes he goes weeks without thinking about home, even months, but that you’ll never entirely stop missing it because where you grew up is a part of you.”

Kaylee paused again.

“Said I should give it a year. If after a year if I’m still crying I should go back because it’s where I’m suppose to be, but that the hard part was already over. Leaving was the hard part, all of this was just the aftermath. I never asked him why he left home. I’d like to know that, seems important. Can’t imagine why anyone would ever leave Demeter.”

“People leave for a lot of reasons Kaylee,” Inara said quietly.

****

Hours had passed and there was still no sign of Wash waking. Dr. Kellerman was now communicating with them hourly. Seems that Adrienne had had a bit of a relapse and he was practically harping Zoë for stats. What was his blood pressure? What was his heart rate? His white blood cell count. His red blood cell count. On and on. Each time he came back on the transmitter he had a new set of requests. It was annoying to say the least but it gave Zoë an excuse to be in the sick bay. Now she could honestly say it was to keep Kellerman off their backs and give him the information he seemed to need on an almost continuous basis. But she had another reason as well.

She wanted to be there when Wash woke up. Mal was fuming. He was racing around the ship at an almost maniacal pace. She knew he wanted answers, ones it seems only Wash could give at this point, and Mal was not a patient man. He would breathing down his throat almost the minute Wash woke and she wanted to be there to defuse the situation.

Zoë didn’t believe Wash had set them up. Couldn’t believe he’d be working for the Alliance. She thought she knew him better then that, but quickly reminded herself that she really hadn’t known him long.

“Zoë?”

She looked up and he was awake. A wave of relief rushed through her as if a weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying was suddenly lifted.

“It’s about time you woke up. We were starting to worry.”

“How longs it been?” he asked, his voice scratchy and hoarse.

“Close to ten hours now. We’ll be back at Medea in another twelve or so. Kaylee’s really driving the engines hard.”

“She should watch the third cell, it’s been running hot.”

“How do you feel?”

“Tired mostly,” Wash said shrugging a bit, “but better. Lots better.”

“Good. We had to remove the bug. You went into shock and we didn’t have a choice.”

“That’s probably why I’m so sore,” he said as he tried to sit up.

“Let me help,” Zoë said unable to watch him struggle. She tilted the bed back into an upright position. “Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Not really,” he answered with a tight-lipped expression.

Zoë starred hard.

“Some,” he relented, “but not like before. It’s mostly my back. I’m fine.”

“Your up.”

They both started at the voice coming from the door. Mal.

“Yeah, surprise,” Wash said. “Guess if Jayne’s cooking can’t kill me nothing can.”

Zoë’s eyes fixed on Mal. Mal, his jaw set, stared at Wash. Wash, confused, looked back and forth between the two.

“I’m guessing I missed something.”

“Damn right.”

“Mal,” Zoë interrupted, “now isn’t the time.”

Ignoring her Mal continued.

“What’s in those crates?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The crates from Eden Station, what’s in them?”

“Mal,” Zoë said, this time a bit harsher, “Kellerman said to give him time. That he wasn’t going to wake up clear of the affects.”

“It’s an easy question,” Mal said never turning his gaze away from Wash.

“They were soil samples,” Wash began not understanding what was happening, “Three racks of soil samples, two racks of plants. Going to Jubilee, to a colony there just getting set up.”

“You saw them being packed? Know for a fact that is what’s in there?”

“Yes,” Wash said his voice displaying his growing irritation.

“You saw them?” Mal asked again furious.

“I said I did,” Wash returned nearly equaling Mal’s tone.

“Then how did these get in there?” Mal asked as he handed a jar.

Wash took it and starred. He recognized the jar, knew it from Eden Station. He’d seen rows of them packed into five separate racks. Mal must have opened the package to get it.

“Well?” Mal asked again, his tone coming down a notch.

Zoë and Mal both looked at him expectantly, but as he starred at the jar filled with hundreds of parasites, he had nothing to say.