Mal hadn’t thought about it, he had only reacted.

No sooner then Dennly had fired the second shot, Mal had his own gun leveled at the man’s head. ‘Two shots,’ he thought, ‘He got off two shots. Gorram it.’ But he hadn’t looked. Hadn’t taken his eyes off of Dennly.

“Drop it.”

Dennly kind of laughed and turned towards him, his own gun still raised.

“Now Mr. Reynolds, I don’t think you want to do that.”

He felt Inara tugging frantically on the back of his coat.

“Mal,” she whispered harshly. He ignored her for the time being.

“Give me a reason not too,” Mal said, his voice oddly calm.

“Because, I’d hate to have to kill Mr. Warren.”

Mal allowed himself a quick look. Wash was definitely moving. The same could not be said for Lee.

Slowly Mal lowered his gun. Dennly did the same.

“You have fifteen minutes to be gone. Don’t try anything rash, just walk away. I won’t be expecting you back.”

No sooner then he’d said it, Dennly was gone.

Mal and Inara hurried over to help Wash up. No one spoke. Wash had been hit in the forearm, but wasn’t bleeding badly. Lee on the other hand had been hit straight between the eyes. Inara was carefully avoiding looking at the woman Mal noticed, but Wash on the other hand couldn’t seem to look anywhere else.

“Come on,” he said nudging the man along. He’d have probably stayed there if he hadn’t.

Mal grabbed up Wash’s trunk and the three of them headed back out into the corridor. An armed man was waiting for them to lead them back to Serenity. Jayne was waiting at the end of the ramp for them. He had Vera with him. As they approached Jayne hollered something up the ramp to either Kaylee or Zoë, Mal couldn’t be sure which, and then proceeded to help Mal with the trunk.

By this time Inara had to physically help Wash up the ramp. He looked bad but Mal didn’t think it was anything more serious then shock. Some people reacted differently to things like this. As far as Mal knew, Wash hadn’t ever seen some one killed. Inara either. It was always rough, but that first time was always particularly bad.

Serenity began to hum to life meaning Zoë must still be at the helm and had gotten word they’d come back.

Kaylee was waiting just inside the cargo hold for them. She was smiling big until she got a good look at Wash. Her face dropped immediately.

“Alright,” Mal said as he and Jayne dropped the trunk, “let’s get out…”

The words had died on his lips as he noticed the expressions on the rest of the crew. Inara looked like she was about to be ill. Kaylee looked stricken. Even Jayne didn’t look right. And Wash, he hadn’t even stopped. He had just kept on walking towards the bridge.

“Should we maybe go get him?” Kaylee asked half-heartedly.

“No,” Mal said shaking his head, “give him some time. He’ll be fine.”

Mal looked at Inara again. She really did look bad.

“You okay?”

At his words, maybe because of them, she straightened herself and seemed more composed.

“Yes,” was all she said before she headed off towards her shuttle without another word.

Soon after Mal just picked back up the trunk and headed towards Wash’s bunk with it leaving Kaylee and Jayne staring after him in confused silence.

****

Zoë had heard footsteps behind her and assuming it was Mal let him know that they’d be off shortly.

“I’ll take it,” Wash said sitting in the pilots seat beside her.

She turned and looked at him, surprised to say the least. He was already flipping switches and changing over the controls. He looked like hell.

Zoë saw him grit his teeth as he took the controls to fly Serenity out. She hadn’t noticed that his right arm was bleeding until then. Looked to her like a gunshot wound.

“You’re hurt.”

Wash glanced down at his arm but was careful not to look at her.

“I’m fine.”

A noise from the doorway drew her attention away and she saw Mal had joined them. He gave her a look that clearly said ‘Let him be’ and so she did. For now. It was a long ride out of the atmosphere and the three of them remained perfectly quiet. Soon as they were a good distance from Medea Wash set in a course and got up. He mumbled something neither of them could hear and left just like that.

Zoë questioned Mal with a look of her own.

“Lee’s dead,” he answered.

Zoë nodded. She looked back at the doorway Wash had left through not certain if she should follow him.

For a moment there seemed to be no sound in the room.

“You should probably check out his arm. Could be bad.”

Zoë didn’t need any other encouragement.

“But Zoë,” Mal said before she got completely out the door.

“Sir?”

“Give him a minute or two.”

Zoë nodded and headed back out the door leaving Mal alone at the helm.

****

Instinct had taken Wash back to his bunk and he wasn’t sure why. All he knew was that he couldn’t sit still. He had to keep doing something or else he’d find himself thinking about what had happened back at…

There he went again. Wash didn’t want to think about it. Not at all. Instead he kept moving things around his room. First he had taken out a few of his personnel affects placed them on the nightstand. Then he thought better of it and packed them up again. He still didn’t really know whether or not he’d be staying, if Mal was going to let him, or if he even wanted too.

It was crazy really.

Just last night all he’d wanted was to be right where he was now. And now… now he just wasn’t sure.

Why had they come back for him?

More importantly, why had they left him in the first place?

And he couldn’t just ask. Wash didn’t trust himself to talk to anyone just yet. He knew if he did he’d say something he’d regret. Or worse. He might just lose it all together.

Wash had stopped moving and found himself facing a wall. He clenched his hands and took a deep breath. He felt a bit better for it; all of him accept his arm. He looked at it and thought it couldn’t be that bad. It hardly bled anymore. Still, he knew he’d have to have someone look at it, sooner rather then later. Unfortunately that someone was the one person he really didn’t want to see.

That was crazier still.

He’d thought about Zoë damn near every moment he’d been away. Couldn’t not think about her. There was nothing between them and he was fairly certain there never would be. And yet…

He hadn’t counted on being this angry.

Wash couldn’t help but think that maybe if Lee hadn’t been killed he wouldn’t be so angry. That was what was making all of this so tough.

Lee had been his friend. Maybe not the best of friends, especially as of late, but she had been his friend. They had grown up together. She knew better then anyone what he’d gone through and why he’d left Demeter because she’d seen it first hand. She’d lived it too.

And Wash just saw her killed. And it made him angry.

He was angry with Dennly. He was angry with Lee. He was angry with Mal. He was even angry with Zoë.

But mostly he was angry with himself.

This was all his fault.

A loud bang from the top of the ladder let him know he had a visitor. He knew who it would be and likely why they were here.

For a moment he considered not answering.

He could very easily just let her walk by. She’d knock a few times more and then give up and that would be that. Wash had already set course for Persephone. Once there he could get off of Serenity and just not get back on.

All of this was becoming too hard. Just being here was hard. That was the real reason he’d never stayed put anywhere for too long. He hadn’t wanted to get attached. Wash had left Demeter and had never wanted to get attached to anyone or anything.

He heard it again, a knock from upstairs, and struggled against himself. He stood stone still and waited. He could sense her struggle as well.

If she just walked away now he’d be okay. If he didn’t have to see her again he could leave Serenity without regret. Wash thought he might be able to go through with it if she just walked away now.

But she didn’t. She knocked again and Wash suddenly found that he didn’t have the willpower to do it.

“Come in.”

He knew from this point on he’d never find it in him to let go. Not of her and not of Serenity. That after this, no matter what, he wouldn’t be able to just pick up and leave like he’d done a dozen times before. He was already attached despite himself. Part of him was glad.

Still facing the wall he heard her approaching.

A part of him was also petrified. This was it. Staying meant putting himself out there. Putting it all on the line. He knew Zoë wasn’t the type of woman who would string a guy along, so at least if she didn’t want him it would be over quick. It would still hurt like hell, but at least it wouldn’t be unnecessarily dragged out.

And he had to tell her, good or bad. It was as if it had all become incredibly clear. Not easy, just clear.

“Wash?”

He finally turned towards her, but still couldn’t look at her. Not just yet.

“Captain said I should check out your arm.”

He nodded and sat down on his bunk. Zoë sat next to him and looked at the wound. She had brought some supplies with her, which she now took out.

“Hope you don’t like this shirt,” she said as she began cutting off the sleeve.

“It’s not one of my better ones.”

She kind of smiled, glad to hear him sound a bit more like himself.

“Doesn’t look too bad. Just going to have to get out the bullet and give you a few stitches.”

He nodded as she went to work.

The silence wasn’t exactly comfortable. It felt strained and unnatural.

“You going to leave?” she asked as she started to finish up.

“No.”

“But you were thinking about it?”

He turned towards her, finally looking her in the eyes. She’d finished his arm but was still holding it.

“Yeah. I was.”

She held his gaze a moment longer then looked away and began packing up the supplies.

“What made you change your mind?”

Wash wanted so badly to tell her the truth, but when he spoke he found himself saying something asinine about owing Mal. So much for putting it out there.

She stood up to leave and he stood with her.

“I’m glad you’re staying.”

“Me too.”

Neither of them moved. It was like being in a trance for Wash. She was so beautiful. He knew now he’d have never made it off the ship even if he’d tried.

As if she was reading his mind, she smiled at him.

He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to speak but couldn’t find anything to say. So they just stood there not talking which was even more awkward.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Wash finally began.

A knock at the door broke the door interrupted them.

“Come on down,” Wash shouted a little louder then he needed too. He couldn’t help it, he’d been so relieved. He hadn’t the foggiest what he was about to say to her. She was making him crazy. Wash had been fairly certain that if someone hadn’t interrupted them he would have been declaring his undying love in song right about now. Not good.

It was Mal.

“How’s the arm?” he asked.

“Better.”

“Good. We need to talk.”

Wash’s face dropped. He should have guessed. Mal was going to throw him off of Serenity after all. That was his type of luck.

“I’ll leave then,” Zoë said starting to step around them.

“No,” Mal stopped her, “you can stay. You probably should hear this too.”

Both Zoë and Wash looked at him concerned. Questioningly.

“Wash’s got a story to tell.”