“Tea. I feel like tea. Waves and waves and waves….” River, suddenly excited, starts shaking so hard that she miscalibrates the vector. “…and waves of it.”

“Whoa now mei-mei, you need to focus. Once you set auto-pilot and walk away, we just keep going on in that direction. You type in six ‘stead of three, we could end up part of Boros moon rather than well, alive and hovering above it… Alive.”

It’s not so much the aptitude but the application that bothered Mal. And all the "crazy" stuff, that gets a might disconcerting. This is not the first time she’d gone all trancy on him during training. Not that she had ever let him down before- she knows her stuff- but not knowing what she’s going to do next scares him. He notices her type the coordinates and realign the vector perfectly without even looking at the screen. “Okay, that. What you just did? Disconcerting. If you want to cut years of my lifespan- that is how to do it. Could you not just pretend to pay attention when you’re piloting my boat? - Hey! Where are you going?”

“Away. To drink my tea and not drown-” She's giddy, rushing to the doorway where she nearly collides with Inara who is on her way to the bridge with two mugs in hand. Or rather one, now that River sweeps off with the other. A fleeting “thanks” followed by giggling down in the foredeck before the familiar awkward silence.

“She knew which cup was hers.’ Inara says with a shake of the head, handing Mal’s drink to him. ‘Bizarre child. Have you noticed that she cannot bear to be around the both of us for too long? She gets restless, fidgety. Says something cryptic, then…just has to leave?”

“River? I never noticed that.’ Sniffing his tea, ‘Is this meant to be so minty?”

Inara laughs at this. “You never notice anything.” She falls into Rivers chair, trying it on for size. Mal watches her quietly. She has both hands on the controls and is playing at steering as if she knew what she was doing. Incredibly, she starts making noises mimicking gun blasts, evasive maneuvers and full speed propulsion. After about a minute of this, she becomes self-conscious and bursts out laughing. Mal can’t remember a time when she was more beautiful.

“I can’t believe that you are sitting there saying nothing. No wise cracks about me piloting Serenity over your dead body in a frozen hell with pigs flying everywhere?”

“Well, that just goes to show how much I’m enjoying this hot mouthwash. It has a calming effect I think.’ More laughter from the opposite end of the bridge. ‘That ain’t true anyway. Wash told me you learned to fly the shuttle perfect in under a day. He thought you’d make a worthy pilot, that’s good enough for me.”

-Well these controls are a lot different from the shuttle.

-Nav com’s similar. You can read that. Where are we going, Inara?

She doesn’t have to look at the screen. Another awkward silence and a sudden drop in temperature. Here we go again.

-Past the training house.

They stare at each other for some time. From where Mal sits in his cockpit, his full view of Inara is bisected by the two engineering panels, one on his side of the bridge and the other on hers. She swivels in her chair to face him. She is the mirror image of him now. He leans back slightly, defensively. For a surreal moment he sees her face framed perfectly above a plastic oasis- palm trees, a rubber lake and two kissing dinosaurs- with an expression hell-bent on destruction. Like a terrible goddess, he thinks, conceding a sad smile. Infinitely less lovable than the Inara of one minute ago. This is how they are: constant inconstancy. He was sick of it.

They’ve danced around this conversation for the last few days. Upright again, Mal puts down his tea, takes a deep breath and starts:

-Reckon we can stop and let you off, if that’s what you have in mind.

-Yes. That is what I wanted to ask.

- Fine. (A dozen explosions going off in his brain) Shiny.

-It’s not what you think. I want to stay-

-Oh and what? You can’t all of a sudden?

-Let me finish. I want to stay and I have no choice but to stay. I was officially labeled “missing, presumed dead” by the Guild on the cortex yesterday.

-What?

-I am no longer a companion and all my accounts have been seized by House Madrassa. Too many strikes against my name, you see. Alive, I’m a liability to the Guild, an embarrassment with political ramifications. Dead is preferable to them so I'm forced to lay low…Mal, I have no where else to go.

-Then why do you want to go back? Being dead and all.

-I’ve arranged a pick-up of supplies for the ship with a very trustworthy friend there. When the operative first arrived, I tried to liquidate as many assets as possible. I knew something like this would happen. Anyway, there’s money, food, medicine and ammunition in a stash planetside for Serenity. And if I hear one comment out of you about not taking handouts- #so help me Buddha#- I will...

-You ain't gonna hear any complaints from me Inara. Everyone contributes if they're part of the crew... For what it's worth, I'm actually really sorry they kicked you out on account of us. It's no secret what I thought 'bout the business of companions. But you were a damn good one. Too good for them to turn their backs on you the way they have.

Genuine sympathy was not the response she expected. "I was the best, Mal. And the Guild turned their back on me a long time ago."

-Is that why you left?

-Yes.

-Wouldn't mind hearing about that sometime.

-You'll hear about it tonight if you're good.

-(Smiling) Ain't I always?

She stares at him in earnest. No, in fact Mal Reynolds has seldom been good to her. Who would have thought when they first met that he was capable of upending her life so completely? Or that she would have wanted him to? In a way she will never fully comprehend, this man saved her. So he deserves to know everything.

"One further addendum.' recalling their first conversation, 'Once a year I have an appointment in Ariel to keep and I'd like you to take me there. I know the risks are great but this is the only favour I ask in return for my loyalty-"

-Stop it. Got no use for loyalty that come at a price. Ofcourse we'll try to get you to Ariel if you like. But this doctor's got to be pretty gorram special if you're willing to risk your life to keep an appointment. What's wrong with Simon anyway?

- Nothing. The medical exam in Ariel was always a smokescreen. Mal, I go to Ariel to see my daughter.