Life’s Too Short- Part Nine

These people aren’t mine, they all belong to Joss and co.

Author’s Note: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. Okay, here we’ve got some tantalizing info on the bidder, but nothing concrete, and we find out more about Mal and Zoe’s war days, and how they know Jennings, and there’s a good bunch of M/I interaction. All things inside asterisks (*) are supposed to be in italics.

* * * * * * It’s dark. No point to lights if you’re blind. The room is empty save for a chair and some equipment too hard to make out in the shadows, and a wave screen, currently black. No need for furniture if you have no legs and only half of one arm. There’s only one person in the room. No one else has ever seen this room, and no one else will. Very few people have laid eyes upon the room’s occupant in years. Why show off a broken, burned body and a face so pocked with scars that the nose is nothing but a slight bump in the livid landscape of pain? A thin tube, running from the right nostril to the stand beside the chair, part of that dim equipment, pumps nutrients and oxygen, should it be needed. The mouth has no lips, only scar tissue and teeth, but the tongue is perfect. There is a black box attached to a band around the throat, with a switch and a dial. It is a voice-diffuser, and it is set to ‘flat’. Inside that mutilated body, behind the blind, ruined eyes, the mind is cold and calculating. Waiting. * * * * * * Captain Malcolm Reynolds snickered as Jayne finished his joke. Mal was surprised; the big mercenary actually knew a joke that was pretty funny. Not as funny as Wash’s one-liners, but not half-bad. Kaylee was laughing her light, carefree guffaw, and Simon was trying as hard as he could not to smirk. Jayne nodded in appreciation, a look of self-satisfaction on his face. They’d just finished eating dinner, and were basking in an unexpected rush of good feelings. Even Zoe was smiling. Inara stood, ferrying dishes back and forth with River, who was at the sink. She wasn’t smiling as widely as some of the others, but her eyes were bright with mirth. Everyone was happy to be safe on board Serenity. River laughed a little, her eyes on Kaylee, but then her smile fell away. No one noticed but Mal, watching her from his place at the head of the table, and he filed it away for later. River forced herself to be calm. Forced the anxiety back. It didn’t have to be like before. She could keep it inside. Control. Be in control. You can tell him later. She dropped the plate she was holding into the warm water in the sink and ran from the room. “What’s up with her,” Jayne asked gruffly. Mal shrugged carefully, but Zoe saw that his eyes were intent on the door through which River had fled. “Something wrong, sir? Did she say something?” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and gave his head a little shake. “Not so much as… I dunno. Did a bit of her creepifyin’ on me earlier. I’d best go see what she wants.” Simon half-rose, but Mal shook his head. “’S okay, doc.” “Yeah, Simon, the Cap’n knows what he’s doin’,” Kaylee said distractedly, more concerned with whether or not she could fit on Simon’s lap at the table without falling off. Jayne watched with interest, and Inara chuckled while casting subtle (she hoped) glances after Mal. He caught up to River just as she reached the bridge. “Hey, there, Albatross. What’s the rush?” River looked at him over her shoulder, and it was her frightened face again. She sat down in the pilot’s seat, hugging her knees to her chest. “Lost. Broken up, twisted around, put back together with pieces missing. Like me, only no Simon and no serenity, no serenity anywhere. Too many pieces missing, inside and out, to be whole. Wants to hurt, wants to hurt everyone.” “Who wants to hurt everyone?” She stared at him, her dark eyes filled with terrible knowledge. “Knows you. Captain Daddy, why the hate? It doesn’t fit.” “River, I’m gettin’ way too used to sayin’ this, but I don’t got any hint of a notion what-” “I didn’t want to scare them. At dinner. They were having fun. Smiles all around.” Mal nodded cautiously, and River went on. “The rogue is coming for us. He’ll catch us, if we’re slow.” “Who’s the rogue? He the one what’s broken? The one who knows me?” “No. The rogue is Jennings,” River whispered. Mal stiffened. River closed her eyes, resting her forehead on her arm. “Bringing fury.” Mal sighed and ran a hand through his spiky bangs. “Yeah, that seems to happen a lot. Why don’t they ever bring gift baskets, or- le fao xiang, I’m startin’ to sound like Wash.” He said it before he thought, and then the memory hit him hard. It didn’t seem possible that he could forget Wash was dead, after all this time, but it happened. He’d be going around life as usual, and think something like, ‘Wonder if Wash can have us here by-’ and then, Mal would remember, and it hurt just as much as when he first allowed himself to feel it. Every time it happened, Mal winced not because of what he was feeling, but because of what he knew Zoe must be feeling. River looked up at him with her big, sad eyes, but, for once, said nothing. * * * * * “River said Jennings,” Mal told Zoe with a grim shake of his head, staring at his hands. He was sitting on his bunk, elbows resting on his knees, hands dangling between his legs. Zoe sat in his desk chair, her steady eyes widening slightly as she furrowed her brow. “Eddie Jennings?” “You know any other two-faced bastards turned ‘Lliance who’d sell his soul for coin?” “Reckon not, sir,’ Zoe said flatly. Mal’s face was a twisted grimace. “Figures that we’d end up bein’ chased by one of our own.” “He ain’t ours, Mal,” Zoe replied hotly, showing a surprising amount of emotion. “Switched sides like a gorram merc.” “Don’t I know it. Still, it burns, don’t it?” “Indeed it does. Wonder if he remembers us.” “Why would he? Left after two days in the Balls ‘n Bayonets, Zoe. Right when the fightin’ was gettin’ hot. Know the funniest thing?” “What’s that, sir,” Zoe asked, but there was very little question in her tone. “Alliance never even knew he fought for the Independents. He’s a fucking war hero now, all medaled up.” “So that’s who’s after us now.” “Yep. Question is, who’s the one that hired him?” * * * * * “Mal!” He turned, hearing her voice. Inara was standing in the door to her shuttle, wearing a red kimono with gold vines patterned in. There was a slit in the skirt of the kimono that bared her left leg to midway up her thigh. Mal swallowed, and forced himself to meet her eyes. Why did she always have to run around in those clothes? He was struck by a brief vision of her running, and him chasing her, and then catching her. Mal shook his head sharply to clear it, and Inara frowned at him. “Oh, ah, what’s up, ‘Nara?” “Can you come into my shuttle, please? We have to talk.” She sounded serious, so Mal bit back the smile that threatened to spread across his face. He was always wanting to smile when he saw her. Well, when she wasn’t screaming at him and he wasn’t shouting at her, or storming off, or avoiding the occasional flying object… Anyway, he kept his face blank and followed her into her shuttle. Inara sat on her couch, and he saw that she already had a tea pot out on the little table. Mal immediately put his hands up defensively and started backing away. “Oh, no. I remember the last time you did this, an’ I ain’t lookin’ to do it again.” “Mal, relax. You’re safe from my wiles,” she said, managing to keep a straight face. Well, she had been trained extensively in that art, had she not? Inara was smirking inside at the suspicious look on Mal’s face, and she had to struggle to remain focused on her purpose. Mal cocked his head at her, and a slow smile made his eyes darken. Inara felt her teeth clench. She could handle him. She was a Companion, and no man could get her off her guard. Except him, obviously, but that thought was really playing havoc with her resolve. This was serious, and she would not let him distract her- “Last time this happened, you said you weren’t sleepin’ with me.” Oh, go se, she thought. “Yes, well, I-” “That still gonna be the case?” She swallowed. It had been bound to come up sometime. “I said I wouldn’t be servicing the crew, Mal, and I mean to hold to that.” She winced at the way that sounded. If he got mad and left now, she wouldn’t be able to tell him her news. To Inara’s surprise, Mal didn’t lose his smile. In fact, his eyes seemed to glint even more. “I ain’t arguin’ with that. In fact, I’d have it no other way.” Inara frowned. “Are you saying you don’t want to sleep with me?” “Hell, no, ‘Nara, I’m sayin’ I don’t want to be your client. I don’t want you to ‘service me’. I was thinkin’ it’d be more the other way around.” She felt her mouth drop open before she could stop it, and Inara stared at him. “Aren’t you confidant,” she said, trying to catch her balance. Mal winked at her. “I’ve been told I have certain talents in that direction.” “Mal!” “What? You’re a Companion, ‘Nara, wouldn’t have thought you’d be modest.” “I’m not modest, I’m just- well, you- Mal, I happened to have a reason for inviting you into my shuttle,” she finished as gracefully as she could. At this point, that was not very. Mal sat down next to her on the couch, not touching her, but close enough so that she could feel the heat from his body. In that moment, Inara wanted nothing more than to throw herself on him and let it happen. But she didn’t. “Speak your piece.” He sounded * pleased *, she thought in annoyance. “I received a wave from the Guild just now,” Inara said carefully. Mal straightened a little, but didn’t look away. “My license has been suspended.” “What?” He looked startled, and Inara almost laughed. * Tell me about it. * “They found out that it was your ship that caused the Miranda outcry, and that I’d known everything. Companions are… strongly advised against any criminal actions,” she said a little wildly. Her composure was not sound as it was, just by being near him, and the added shock of her suspension wasn’t helping. He wanted to put his arm around her, but didn’t know how. Didn’t know if she’d lean into him or back away. Mal studied her face hard and saw the fragile mask, the icy shell that hid what she was feeling. Part of him wanted to jump for joy at her news, and part of him… didn’t. He knew how much that gorram job meant to Inara. Even if he didn’t like it. “Wo de ma, Inara. I’m sorry.” She gave him a sad little smile. “I should have been expecting it.” Mal rubbed a hand over his eyes. “This is my fault,” he said, and his voice was hard. “I should never have let you come to Miranda.” “Let me come?” Inara rose from the couch. “I’m not some doll for you to keep safe, Mal! I chose to go there, and I chose to fight for what’s right. I chose this,” she said again, gesturing. He stood too, sorrow in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have taken you off Sihnon. You’d be safe and happy now, not on some renegade ship consortin’ with the likes of me.” “The likes of you,” Inara repeated, folding her arms. “What exactly does that mean? I’ve never, not once, implied that Serenity, that you, aren’t good enough for me! And how dare you assume what I’d be like on Sihnon? You don’t know whether or not I was happy!” “Were you? You were, weren’t you?!” “No!” She yelled the word, startled by the reverberations off the shuttle walls. Mal stood blinking at her, stunned into silence. “You- you weren’t?” “Get out of my shuttle, Mal,” Inara said, turning her back on him. Mal cursed softly behind her, and then she heard heavy footsteps. But instead of leaving, like she expected, he caught her up from behind and turned her about in his arms. Inara struggled, but he simply held her there, cheek pressed against her hair. “I ain’t lettin’ us do this again,” he said into her curls, voice rough. “Damn it, ‘Nara, just once, stop playin’ games with me. I’ll stop, you stop, just for a little while. I can’t- it hurts too much right now.” Inara felt the tears course down her cheeks at his words, and swallowed thickly. He tilted her head up with his thumb, blue eyes searching hers. “Don’t cry, bao bei,” Mal said. His voice was so uncharacteristically gentle that Inara only cried more. The shock and pain at the Guild’s announcement, the old grief at loosing Book and Wash, the newer pain of shouting at Mal, they all were just too much and he was holding her and murmuring things in Chinese that he’d never say in English and she just couldn’t keep it up. Then, Inara was kissing him, her mouth trembling, his lips soft and warm on hers. She ran her hands through his hair and he lost his hands in hers, both afraid to touch too much. Mal pulled away first, cupping her cheek with his palm. “Not yet,” he said tightly, and Inara saw his eyes flicker to the bed and back. She knew what he was thinking. She serviced clients in that bed. “It’s okay,” she told him, not knowing what she was talking about. “I’m okay now.” She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his forehead. Then, Mal backed away, his hands deep in his pockets. If he took his hands out, he’d grab her. He just knew it. God, it was hard enough backin’ away now, after feelin’ her like that. Even before the kissin’, just holdin’ her had been… all kinds of intoxicating. She’d needed him, just him, and Mal didn’t know if he could survive it. He’d had people need him before, and people needed him now. But he was always afraid of lettin’ them down, and if he let Inara down, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. So he left her shuttle, feelin’ grim and worried. And really needin’ a cold shower. TBC: Next: Jennings and Mal talk, Kaylee and Inara talk, Zoe and Inara talk… basically, everyone talks. Oh, and River resumes her position of matchmaker, and then turns her abilities towards herself and Jayne, making a certain merc very… uncomfortable.