Hatred

She couldn’t watch, she didn’t want to see, but here she was waiting for them. The feelings bemused her, frightened her, she didn’t understand them.

For a long time now her thoughts had been constantly on him, she had watched his every move, listened to his every word, breathed his every breath.

She found herself trying to please him, to behave better, to contribute even a little to his plans and schemes.

Her efforts were rewarded at last when he included her in one of his plans; she was determined to prove herself to him.

Instead she had been overwhelmed by the Reavers’ thoughts and everything had changed.

The loss of their friends, finding Miranda, the battle with the Reavers had altered their lives. Some for the better like her brother and Kaylee, some for the worse, bereft Zoë.

Some not at all, because even though she was much saner now her emotional attachment to him remained, unrequited.

Inara had returned and this time the Captain had wanted her to stay. They became more and more intimate until she knew consumation wouldn’t be long.

She watched unseen as they strolled up the ramp arm in arm, actually happy in each others company, and for the first time in her life River felt the bitterness of hatred.

*****************

Understanding

He could just about feel the hatred ripplin’ off the girl as she crouched in the shadows watchin’.

He knew she’d been waitin’ for them to come on board and had kept guard in case she did somethin’ stupid. Because he knew, all to well, how stupid a person could be when they were crazy ‘bout someone.

It gave him a sorta fellow feelin’ for her.

He’d always suspected that the crazy girl had a hankerin’ for the Captain, but hadn’t really known it till ‘Nara came back to Serenity.

The girl hadn’t been quick enough to hide the pain in her eyes the first time she saw Mal and the companion sittin’ together at the table and she’d been mopin’ round ever since.

Her feelins were there for everyone to see, ‘cept they were all too wrapped up in their own little worlds to help her.

She was so mixed up in her head she didn’t even hear him when he came up cautiously behind her.

Her big brown startled eyes met his when he spoke ‘n’ he tried not to notice that they were full of unshed tears. He weren’t good at comfortin’ people.

Though he didn’t know it, his voice was full of gruff kindness when he said “this ain’t doin’ ya no good girl. How’s ‘bout we go get drunk instead?”

**********************

Drinking

Kaylee had persuaded him to take a break, and as there was little choice of entertainment on this backwater planet, they had wound up at one of the local dives.

He had been disturbed to find River and the big mercenary already at the pool table, Kaylee had naturally gravitated toward them.

Although the Operative had assured them River was safe, Simon still worried about her. He didn’t think she should be just out roaming around, frequenting bars with only Jayne for company.

He thought this more vehemently when he tasted the drink his sister was sipping. “Mei, mei, don’t drink that.”

“Don’t get ya panties in a twist Doc; it’s just the local whiskey. I made ‘em water it down some for her.”

Jayne stood up lazily “I’ll just go get us another round.”

Simon avoided his sister’s accusing eyes “I really don’t think you should drink spirits River, I don’t know how it might affect you.”

His sister was about to argue when he saw her expression change. Following her gaze he saw several thugs looming over them, expressions menacing.

“Looks like the ladies need more lively company.” The leader of the group went to put his hand on his sister’s shoulder.

River grasped the thugs’ hand jerking him over her shoulder and throwing him to the floor. Taking advantage of the others’ surprise she jumped up and started fighting.

Kaylee grabbed his hand to pull him under a table but pair of arms were wrapped round his neck from behind and he started to choke.

The choking arms were ripped from his throat as the thug’s whole body was flung to the side, Jayne had entered the fray.

*******************

Friendship

River staggered into the dining area, face pale, head throbbing. She was regretting both the fight and getting drunk with Jayne.

She could appreciate now the Captain and Jayne’s delight in a ‘tussle’, your problems were forgotten momentarily in the midst of physical exertion. Quite a satisfactory outcome she thought.

Lowering herself gingerly into a chair she looked quizzically at the man occupying the other end of the table. Now that her emotions were more under control, she was dismayed that Jayne had so easily divined her reaction to the Captain and Inara’s relationship.

Though grateful for his intervention, River was puzzled by his kindness. She tilted her head to look at him.

“Why?” she asked simply.

“Just know what it feels like is all.”

Jayne’s head was bent, his focus apparently only on the magazine he was flipping through.

River frowned to herself; the mercenary knew what unrequited love felt like?

He certainly managed to hide his feelings well, she, and she was sure everyone else on the ship, had no notion of them.

“Kaylee.”

He looked up and shrugged blue eyes alternately menacing and questioning.

“Won’t tell, that’s a promise,” she looked at him uncertainly; it would be good to share her secret with someone, though she had never envisioned it to be Jayne.

“Past forgotten, we could be friends.”

“Alright, past forgotten,” Jayne agreed spitting on his hand and holding it out, “friends.”

River spat on her hand and gripped his, “friends.”