She had lost it all, except for her life. Her husband was gone, dead, killed, murdered. All she loved was embodied by him, and his corpse was underneath the earth of some moon. The name didn't matter a bit. The place would always be "Wash's" moon. Hell, Mal had even taken away her gun. Weren't like he didn't have a good reason. She had tried to commit suicide when she had thought Simon had died. It had been just another failure in a long list of debacles. Serenity, Haven, Book...Wash. She forced back the tears that threatened to force past her eyelids. She remembered, during the worst days of the war, Mal had been right there beside her. And, later still, when he was busy, there had been Wash. Always smiling, he always had some joke or witicism. Weren't gonna do that no more... Grief engulfed her, became her. In Serenity Valley, she had survived because she had been able to shut out the world from herself, had been able to deal with all the misery only by not seeing it, or listening to it. She had been like some statue. But, he had come in, changed all that. He had broken through all her barriers, all the walls she had placed around herself to stop her from getting hurt again. But, when he left, there was a void in her heart that would never fill. And, now, she couldn't build up the walls again. She wasn't even sure that she wanted to. She sat down on her bunk. She was all alone again, wiping the tears from her eyes. She hung her head down, not wanting to see the light blazing down from overhead. She didn't want to see anything anymore. A song came to mind. It was a song from her home, the one she had had before Serenity...before Wash. Everyone knew it, it was a preety popular song. And it spoke aloud all she felt. "Where'd you go? Oh, where'd you go? That is all I'll ask this day. Where'd you go, oh, where'd you go? Seems like forever, since you went away. What you know, now there you go, Seems like forever, but its only been a day. There you go, oh, I miss you so, Love has left me on its way. Where'd you go, oh where'd you go? That is all I have to say. There you go, oh, what you know? There is nothing left for me to say..." She was all alone, wiping the fiery tears from her eyes. She continued to sing the song. There were other verses to it. But she only cared for this one verse, the emblamatic of what she was now. Zoe sighed into the darkness. "Wash, why'd ya have to go?" *** Mal found Inara in her shuttle, as he had expected. He stepped in, not bothering to knock. But then, that was his trademark. She didn't look at him, but her hands moved up to her face. He didn't see the tears, but he knew they were there. They had cut a line of loss down her pretty face. She ccontinued to stare forlornly down at the bed she sat on. Oh, how he hated to see her hurt so much! He waited for a moment for her to give him some semblance of permission to proceed. When she didn't, he went and stepped up to her anyway. He was nothing, if not methodical. "'Nara," he said quietly. She still didn't turn to him. "What, Mal?" Her coldness hurt her more than anything, the times he had been shot, stabbed, cut, and been killed only to be revived after having his ear cut off, along with other assorted tortures, included. "I, uh, I kinda got someat to say to you." She finally turned to him. "What do you mean by 'us'" She sniffed, then her face hardened. "Last I checked, there wasn't any 'us.'" Mal winced at her harsh words, because they were nothing if not true. "We'll...about that...I was...I was thinkin', and..." "Spit it out Mal." "Alright. Well...this lil' adventure we had just been through...well, its made me realize somethin'...life...well, lifes too short to be fussin' over all the little things. And...well...I want...us...to become something...something more, more'n what we are now...and...well...I..." He trailed off, looking sheepishly down at his boots, which were sporting a stain of grease. For a long, long minute, Inara said nothing, just staring at him. Then, she felt the tears well up in her eyes again, and threw herself into his arms. "You stupid, stupid man..." All of her hurts, her fears, came rushing out of her. She bore her soul to this man, this man whom she had danced around of for almost a year. When she finished, he softly placed a finger to her lips. Tears were in his eyes too, and his shoulder was thorughly soaked. But he would not let the tears fall. One of her cheif fears was him. What if she lost him? What if it had been him dying on that table, and not Simon? She didn't know if she could bear it. "Shh, shh, xin gan," said Mal soothingly. "I ain't goin' nowhere. And, I know that you know that you love me. And, 'Nara, I...I love you too. Always have." She put her head on his shoulder, the dry one. He kissed the top of her head. And, from his left eye, a single tear sprang forth. It fell, down, into her braided hair. He buried his face into her hair, breathing in her heady scent. *** Simon snored beside her, laying on the infirmary chair thing. He was fast asleep, resting wearily after his ordeal. It had been a full three days since they had left Ariel. River was in the cockpit. He was clothed only in pants, his upper body open to the air, letting it heal the scars on his body. All nine of them. They would never, could never go away. Silent reminders of his fall, and ascent, from the darkest shadow. She traced each of the scars along his body, reverently running her finger along the gnarled length. Wounds caused by Reavers...except for one. One caused by his anger, one that had cursed him, one that had nearly killed him. A scar for her very own broken heart. Nine scars...one for each broken heart from Serenity. Four for the crew, one for Kaylee, one for River, one for who he had been, one for Cassandra...and one for Serenity herself. Kaylee sighed. She was neither happy, nor sad. She was just tired. Tired, mortally tired, from all that had transpired. She yawned, and kissed his cool brow. Simon would survive...but, who he would be when his eyes opened remained to be seen. You don't leave Serenity, Serenity leaves you. Thats what he had said to her. That was one of the truest things she had ever heard. She smiled. She setteled herself back in her chair, which she had brought up from the Dining room, just so she could sleep next to him at night. Whatever happened, Serenity would pull through for her. Her Simon. Her Serenity... *** Oh, by the way, the song Zoe sung, was inspired by the song Where'd you go, by Fort MInor (It ain't the actual song, just a bit of a tweak on the chorus. -Alliethorn7 (Danny B., to all ya'll who know me!!!)