I grinned. “Simon! If you’re interested in Serenity’s workin’ you can just say!”

“No, really. I just want to make sure you’re ok!” Simon insisted, gently stroking my arm. We lay in my hammock in the engine room. He’d thought we couldn’t both fit in here. He’d been wrong.

“But I’ll be with Zoë! You’ve got to stay here with Serenity and River! I’m only gettin’ some new parts. Will only be a moment!” Simon was silent. I gave him a hug. “You’re so silly!”

“It’s just Zoë’s been through a lot and she still seems very…”

“Simon! Zoë’s a rock! She won’t never let anythin’ happen. What she needs now is security, not you underminin’ her authority!”

“I’m not -” he protested.

“Yes you are though! Zoë’s fine. She just needs time. We all do.”

I snuggled up to him. He had such a nice smell… I tried not to think of Wash. Some days it was easier than others. We all felt it, the emptiness…

“I just think she -”

“Kaylee?” It was the soft sound of Inara. I wriggled out of the hammock, clambering over Simon.

“Hey ‘nara! S’happenin’?”

“I just wanted to say ‘goodbye’. Make sure you don’t get into too much trouble while I’m away.”

“No fear, Simon’s got if covered!”

“Of course,” she said, smiling. She was off to meet a client and would be staying on Persephone while we were off on a job, whatever it might be. If I wasn’t so in love with Serenity I would be jealous of her, her glamorous lifestyle. “Bye, bao bei.” She kissed my cheek and I was intoxicated for a moment by the sweet scent of her.

She glided away and I watched her go, a butterfly fluttering through our ship.

“How much longer ‘till she an’ the Cap’ain get it on, do you think?” I asked.

Simon shrugged, struggling from the hammock. “At this rate? I’d have to say a year or two.”

~

“How do I look?” I asked self consciously, tugging at my shirt sleeves.

“Very respectable!” Eve laughed.

“As I suspected… You know I’m more of a Hawaiian-shirt kinda guy…” I followed her through the crowded Port.

“Figures, but it’s ‘versally accepted no one can resist the charms of a man in a crisp white shirt undone at the neck.”

“Which reminds me,a bout this ‘charming’ that might be necessary…”

“Look, Honey, with any luck it’ll be an all male crew in any case.” Eve was wearing a dress – well if it could be called a dress, it could easily just be a scrap of material – and some amazing heels.

“Hey! I wasn’t saying I couldn't charm. I just, you know, don’t know if I’m comfortable with -”

“Though come to think of it, you may appeal more to an all male crew…”

“You’re evil!”

“It has been said!” She grinned, sticking out her pointed tongue cheekily. “Just act cool. Catch a girl’s eye and smile, unless they’re a tough girl. In which case act cool and do not catch their eye.”

“Ok…” she turned and continued walking. “Wait, what about the guys?”

Eve just laughed.

After what seemed like an age of searching, we found a ship Eve thought would be suitable. A small group of men stood by its cargo entrance, chatting casually. Eve approached while I hung back.

“I heard you boys were flying to Persephone. Was wonderin’ if I could hitch a lift.”

They stared. One man actually took a double take, it was embarrassing.

“Actually, we’re headed for -” the shortest began, but the Captain shoved him.

“Shut it, Quimper. We are goin’ to Persephone, Baby, so long as you can pay for your fare…” He glanced her up and down. He wasn’t bad looking, his long dark hair tied back, his large dark eyes shining in appreciation.

“I can pay you, don’t worry,” she said, grinning innocently.

“I’m sure you can, Baby,” the Captain said, winking. “I’m the Captain, Robbie Brunt. This is Quimper, First Mate and Sam the Pilot.”

“I’m Marie and this is my brother, Ringo.” She motioned to me and I stepped over.

“Brother?” Robbie glanced at me in disgust.

“Ringo?” Quimper scoffed.

“Yeah, urm… I'm a Beatles fan…” I threw Eve an unappreciative glare.

“Never saw the sense in liking a band who’ve been dead for like half a century, but he insists good music lasts forever,” Eve said, smiling sweety up at the Captain.

“I like the Beatles…” the pilot interjected.

“Shut up Sam,” Robbie barked, not looking away from Eve.

~

“So who should we be visiting in Persephone?” I asked, my legs crossed on Wash’s bed. I had invited myself in.

“There’s a man, Enster, or maybe Badger, though I’m pretty sure Mal wouldn’t -”

“Mal the Captain?”

“Yeah, Malcolm Reynolds. He fought for the Independence with my Zoë and is a decent enough kinda guy.”

“Your woman’s a ruttin’ Browncoat?” I asked, surprised.

“She hear you say that ‘n it’ll be the last thing you’ll do, but yeah.”

I scoffed. “Oh, now I’m so scared.” I stopped talking. Was I trying to prove something? I didn’t need to compete with anyone… “Let’s not talk about your wife,” I said, slipping into my role as a seducer. Maybe it wasn't’ the most honest ways to go, but it had been a long time since I’d been held by a man like Wash, a man who I had to try for.

He looked awkwardly at me. “What do you want to talk about?”

I shrugged. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk…” I leaned towards him, but he leapt away.

“Woah! What you doin’?” He held his arms out in front of him as if he needed to ward me off.

I sunk back on his bed in frustration. This was not going well. “Oh, come on, Honey. Don’t you want to…”

“No! I mean maybe I would but didn’t I mention the whole I-have-a-wife thing?”

“Yeah, but you don't know that… ‘sides, if she’s so shiny why didn't she come get you herself?” I don’t think it was the right thing to say, but I was annoyed. Wash was silent. “Come on, Honey…” I pleaded.

“I think maybe you should leave now.” He sounded choked up.

I sighed and left him, trying to persuade myself I didn’t care.

~

Tears were trickling down her cheeks. She didn’t smiled. I took her in my arms and just held her. This was it, this was she and I together again. Nothing could ever part us ever, ever.

I took her face in my hands. Her eyelashes were beaded with tears, her dark eyes shining. We stared at each other. I kissed her, holding her so close.

Then the scream pierced my dream and I woke with tears damp in my eyes. Zoë… I had to find her. In my heart I knew she had to be out there somewhere.