Smiles. Such a simple thing, really. Seventeen muscles in your face. They push and pull, making you pull your teeth together and part your lips, showing almost all of your teeth. Can I smile? Almost everyone smiles. Kaylee has mastered it, over the course of much happiness. Inara smiles, whether its apart of her job or when she's with Mal. Mal...he smiles. More than he ever has now, since his and Inara's marriage two years back. Even Zoe and Jayne smile, when its needed. Simon? He smiles a lot now, because he's a lot more laid back now that he's been a Reaver, 'cause after something like that, its hard to frazzle a guy all that much. But me? Can I smile? After... him? Heh, that shows how weak I really am. Can't even say his name now, since its been three years since... Ariel. But, still... can I smile after all this? I am happy to say that I can, now. Well, I couldn't smile at all for the first year or so. Not until we made a pit stop on Persephone. Mal trusts Badger... well, almost. But more than he ever did, since the fed incident. Of course, Kaylee wanted to tear him into little bits and feed him into Serenity's engine feet first, but her efforts were curtailed by Simon's proposal and almost dying. Either way, we made a stop at Persephone. Stayed there for a week, not doing much... well, I din't. Simon and Kaylee were holed up in their room for most of the week (Kaylee has found that, since Ariel, Simon has a wild streak that turns her on... okay, bad thoughts). Zoe and Inara went with Mal and Jayne to negotiate a job. So, with nothing to do, I had went into town on a little shore leave. And, while I was just eating some lunch, this guy comes up to me. He was eighteen, like me. Dark, dark hair, and deep green eyes, his clothes were a bit torn. And, I didn't know what he was thinking, thats how distraught I was. So, he comes up, and just sits next to me. I didn't know what to do, I not being educated in matters of interactions between males and females, because the crew of Serenity aren't very good at it, either. They would usually just go straight to sex (or, in Jayne's case, paid for the sex), and Simon isn't any help either. So, I just kept looking at my plate, not doing anything. As I said, I didn't know what to do, and, even if I did, I wouldn't do anything, anyway. I was too afraid that I would fall in love again. And I couldn't allow that, not since... him. So, it was him who started talking. And talking... Eventually, I joined in the talking. We just sat there, for hours on end. We, basically, told eachother our life story's. His name was Tom. He was from the south side of town. He was an orphan, living in and out of orphanages. He was... charming, to say the least. And, he loved ships, couldn't get enough of them. So, I just let it slip that I lived on a firefly. He was so enamored by it... I decided that I'd give him a tour. Just for fun for a new friend, was all. Then, on the sixth day, which was the day I showed him around, Mal, Zoe, Jayne, and Inara came back, with the mule spewing fire and fuel, with feds not but a few minutes behind them. So, I left Tommy in my room, and started the ship. Ten minutes later, we were flying away from Persephone at full burn, Tommy still holed up in my room. And, naturally, it was Mal who found him. We were bound to Whitefall, getting some cargo from Patcience, a whole lot of corn and wheat, bound for some new settlement. When we got there, Mal had wanted to throw him out there, so as to rid himself the problem of a stowaway. But, I kindly asked him to let him say, and Mal can't refuse me... particularly when he knows that I can break him in half like a twig. After that, Tommy became a bonafied member. I don't know when we became something more than just a friend, but he did. And, one day, Mal found us kissing in the corridor. Whatever a Firefly is, its not what you would call spacious. So, he goes and blabs it to Simon, and basically the rest of the crew. And, at dinner that night, he was taken into the hallway no less than four times by Mal, Simon, Zoe, and Jayne, who told him, in no uncertain terms, that if he broke my heart, they would kill him. Slowly. But, even without the multiple threats lying over his head, I know that he loves me. I'm not sure how, or when, but he slipped through all my barriers, all I had constructed around my heart, he came through. Now, I just have to find a way to tell the rest without Simon killing him (hes more apt to do that now, since Ariel). What, exactly, could elicit such a response from my formerly pacifistic brother, you ask? Simple. I'm pregnant. I'm carrying Tommy's child. I didn't think that it could happen, but it did. And, now that Tommy's been sharing my bed... I don't know what will happen now. But I'm not scared anymore. I have life, love... and, soon, I will have a child. Tommy's child.