River blinked sleepily as she awoke, wrenched from the realm of sleep oh-so-cruelly by the shouting that abounded around her. When her eyes adjusted to the harsh light of the infirmary, she saw Tommy on one side of the room, shouting at Mal and Simon, who were both yelling back at him with equal fervor. River groaned, fighting back a wave of nausea that swept through her thin body. Inara, Zoë, Jayne, and Kaylee were outside, gazing in horrid fascination at the fight. “You can’t do this to us!” Shouted Tommy. “Oh yes I can! My ship, my crew!!! If you go around knockin’ up my pilot, best you could do is to marry her!” “That’s not fair!” “Well, guess what, smartass, life ain’t fair!” “I don’t care! You don’t have the right to tell us what to do!” Simon broke in. “Listen, Tom. River is my sister, and I love her dearly. And, I promised to break you if you broke her heart, as did the Captain, Zoë, and Jayne. If you really do love her, then you’ll marry her. For the child’s sake, and for hers.” River coughed, tasting bile at the back of her throat. Simon immediately turned to her, going over and feeling her forehead. Sometimes, the old ways are the best. Like that. Simon pulled away his hand, smiling a little. At least she wasn’t suffering anything other than morning sickness… he hoped. Truth was, you could never really tell with a psychic. Inara had gone over to Mal, and was arguing vehemently with him under her breath. That was something they did once a month, mostly to clear the air. And, it usually meant make-up sex, which was good for all of them. At least, for the two doing said sex. River looked at him, not at all liking the way the former argument had been going. Simon smiled at her. “Mei-mei… how are you?” River frowned at him, her strength returning. “Can’t make us do it.” “Can’t make you do what, River?” “Marry. He loves me, and I know it. Don’t need a ring to show it.” Simon threw up his hands in exasperation. “But, River, your pregnant! And that means that he has to take responsibility for his actions, just as you have to take some for yours. It’s just the way of things.” River suddenly felt very angry at her idiotic brother. “You don’t control us! You’re not my parent!” “But I am your brother! And that means that I-“ “You and Kaylee didn’t get married until after she had your child-“ River stared, horrified at what she had just said. They had all stopped saying anything at all about Billy. Any mention of it for the first two years would send Kaylee into a crying fit. It was the hardest thing in the ‘verse to lose a child. And River had just stumbled right into it blindly. She could be such a hwoon-dahn sometimes… “Simon, I-“ “Don’t.” That single world held all the grief of every parent who had their child ripped from their arms. It held all his sorrow, all his pain, and all that he held dear. Simon turned, and, quiet as a ghost, left the room. They all stared after him, and Mal and Inara stopped their tiff. Kaylee looked at River in a not-unkind way. “Stay here. I’ll go talk to him.” She followed her husband out. River continued to stare after her brother. Tommy came over, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’ll all be alright, xin gan.” River looked at him. “I don’t think it will.” *** Kaylee found him in their room, clutching the baby shirt. It was one of the few things they had kept of Billy’s. Too many bad memories there. Too much pain. She heard him cry. It wasn’t like the cry she had. It was a silent cry, the cry of someone who was lost in the world. Who didn’t know what to do anymore. It made her love him all the more. She didn’t say anything to him. She didn’t need to. She simply sat down on the double-bed next to him, and took his hand in both of hers. It took less than five minutes before he started baring his soul to her. “Oh, it hurts. Hurts so bad… I… I can’t fill it up. There’s a hole where he used to be. I can’t fill it up, it just gets bigger and smaller, every day. I thought I had let go of the pain… but it just keeps coming back, stronger than ever. I…” Kaylee smiled sadly, feeling tears well in her own eyes. “I know, Simon. I know. I… I know what your going through, cuz I’m goin’ through it too. And… I got that same hole there, too. And… I think it’s time we filled it again.” Simon looked at her, eyes shining. “Are… are you…?” Kaylee smiled one of her winning smiles. “Yes, I am. Simon… I want another baby. I figure that I had you all to myself for a while, so…” Simon pulled her into a deep embrace, and kissed her, so long and hard that she saw stars. When they pulled apart, after almost two minutes, he whispered in her ear, “I agree.” *** River and Tommy stood outside Simon and Kaylee’s room, waiting for the residents therein to come out and meet the newest couple. They both were smiling. Finally, the duo came out, tears in their eyes and on their faces. River took one look at them, then ran over and embraced them in a tight hug. “Congratulations, you two!” Tommy looked at them quizzically. “Wha’?” River turned to him. “Oh, sorry. Well… Simon and Kaylee are going to have another baby!!!!” Tommy’s mouth nearly hit the floor with surprise. “Buh-buh-buh-but…we’re having a baby! AND GETTING MARRIED.” Simon looked at him all confusedlike for a moment, then remembered their argument from before. “Oh…yeah…” he grinned at him, a bit embarrassed. “Yeah, uh, I… I’m sorry…" He made a signifigant gesture at Tommy's jaw. "You don’t need to get married at all…” “Oh, but we do!” River grinned up at him. “We-“ DARK!!! SO DARK!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!! TOO CROWDED, TOO CLOSE!!!!! DELIVER ME FROM THIS DARKENED HELL!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!! IF YOU BEAR ME ANY LOVE AT ALL, YOU WILL GET ME OUT!!!!!! The last thing River saw before the merciful oblivion claimed her as its own was the smiling faces of her family. Simon, Kaylee, Tommy… all stood over her as she clutched her head with her hands, drawing blood with her nails, a feeble bastion against the searing pain that was now her entire world.