Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any other part of the 'verse.

Authors Note: First fan fic posted here, I apologize if it is too terrible. No beta, I'm sorry. Right now this is a stand alone, but it could turn into more. Enjoy.

Mal had once said no power in the ‘verse could stop Kaylee from being cheerful and yet here they were, watching the poor girl ball her head out, trying not to shake as she spoke. Made him sick. He tried to take a step closer to her, but she flinched and he backed off. "Kaylee, I-"

"Don’t say it, cap’n. Please just don’t say it." She put her hand up, preventing anyone from getting close. Everyone except Jayne who had carried her to the infirmary from the shuttle. She couldn’t have pushed him away if she tried. Mal didn’t know why she let him stay there except maybe it would have been too much energy to try and push him back like everyone else and maybe she was afraid if she pushed everything away she might very well fall.

"This ain’t your fault, Kaylee. You did the best you could. Wash-"

"Wash is dead because o’me!" she snapped, glaring up at the captain. Out of the corner of his eye Mal could see Zoe visibly flinch. Her exterior stayed solid though, her eyes unmoving.

"Oh Zoe, oh god," Kaylee choked on her own tears and turned away, hiding her face in Jayne’s shoulder. The big mercenary just held his arm around her shoulder and said nothing. There wasn’t much anyone could say.

"Ain’t nothing you could’ve done, little one. Those men wanted that shuttle, didn’t care none about you or Wash." Mal could see it took every ounce of strength in Zoe to keep her calm.

"I coulda shot ‘em. I coulda pulled the trigger, but I froze," Kaylee shook her head, her voice muffled into Jayne’s chest.

"Kaylee, ain’t no one expects you t’be firing a weapon. No one blames you," Mal tried to reiterate.

"I blame me, an’ thats ‘nough." Kaylee slid off the table and Jayne followed suit. Simon frowned and rushed to her side.

"You shouldn’t put any pressure on the leg, Kaylee. The bullet hole is going to take some time to heal…" his voice trailed off as Jayne helped Kaylee walk out of the infirmary. Mal sighed and looked at his crew. He could have kicked himself but the first thing that came to mind now that Kaylee was out of the room was that he needed a new pilot. That could wait though, had to wait. He could get on well enough for now. What he needed to do was take care of his first mate.

"Zoe?"

"Sir?" came her pointed response.

"Get Jayne and Book, we’re mounting a team, going back for Wash’s body. Doc you’re going too. I know what Kaylee said, but maybe…" His voice trailed off as he watched Zoe’s face not change an inch.

"Yes sir," was the only indication that she had even heard him.

"We’ll find them," Mal said. They would find them and if he had his way; he’d tie them up and let Zoe have her way with him. Make it last as long as she wanted to. Men deserved it, killing a husband and shooting up a little girl. Men deserved it making a girl cry like little Kaylee had been crying. They deserved a lot of things and Mal intended to make good on his debt.