Lost in French Translation, Part 11: Trash by fortinm

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Lost in French Translation, Part 11: Trash

POSTED BY: FORTINM
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 5, 2008 20:45
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Monday, February 4, 2008 4:00 PM

This review is part of a series of articles analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss’ wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31382
Previous review (War Stories): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32395
Next review (The Message): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32672

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In bold is the original line.
In italic is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In bold and italic is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

General comments
After two or three bad ones, this episode is very welcome! The smaller-than-usual excerpts list is a good indication of the translation's quality. It's one of the best Firefly translations so far, even 'though there is, still, no Chinese in it. Anyway, I've pretty much given hope of hearing another Chinese line from this point on.

Most of the time, a dubbing work includes the translation of "over-titles", usually delivered by a narrator. Strangely enough, they didn't do it with the "Seventy-Two Hours Earlier..." title in the teaser. It's probably an oversight.

Another small change, hard to explain, is the rename of "Haymer" to "Hower".

Translation score: 5/5
Chinese score: 0/9

Chosen Excerpts

SAFFRON and MAL
- Mmmm. You missed a spot...
- Can't miss a place you never been.
- Mmmm. Tes mains sont si bonnes.
- C'est pas à ça qu'elles vont servir, mes mains.
- Mmmm. Your hands are so good.
- They won't be used for this, my hands.
No comments.

WASH
So, later with the talking then.
On s'appelle et on déjeune. C'est ça?
We get in touch and have lunch. Is it?
This French expression means exactly what Wash is saying here. It's a good choice. Since I began this series of articles, rarely have I been pleasantly surprised. For this line, I was. I don't think I would have thought of using this familiar expression in this situation, but it's perfect.

JAYNE
She figures out who you are, she'll turn you in 'fore you can... say... "don't turn me in, lady".
Il suffit qu'elle sache qui tu es pour qu'elle te vende aux fédéraux. C'est... c'est son métier qui veut ça.
She just has to learn who you are to sell you to the feds. It's... it's her profession.
To me, the original line is another example of Jayne's lack of wit or, more exactly, his lack of eloquence. It's an important character trait which is lost, or less obvious, in French since the first episode.

MAL
No wandering about, remember? Or I'll stick you back in your crate.
Je t'ai dit de ne pas te promener. Je te ramène à ta cabine.
I told you not to wander about. I'll take you back to your cabin.
No comments.

SAFFRON (upon learning that Durran called the feds)
Men.
Mon chéri.
My darling.
No comments.

MAL
Cheer up, weepy: you've earned yourself a boatload of hard cash today. You can question the meaning of life on a floaty island of your own for a while.
Mais rassure-toi. T'as été conforme à ta réputation aujourd'hui. Tu vas pouvoir pleurer sur ton sort pendant des journées entières.
But don't worry. You've been up to your reputation today. You'll be able to cry over your fate for entire days.
Removing the mention to the boatload of money compromises the relation between the two sentences. And removing the allusion to the floaty island makes it worse. The meaning has been sucked out.

INARA
I thought they might tip the fact that we were playing you from the second Mal took you out of that crate.
D'autres n'ont même pas compris que c'est nous qui allions te jouer un mauvais tour.
Others didn't even understand that it was us who were going to play a dirty trick on you.
It's a bit insulting for our heroes.

SAFFRON
You can't do this. I have a condition.
Tu n'as pas le droit. Je ne suis pas une ordure.
You don't have the right. I'm no scum.
In French, ordure can mean both garbage and someone who is despicable. "Scum" is the closest I could come up with.
So, Saffron's last lie has been replaced by a pun. It's not a bad way to go for this character!

...And not a bad way to end this review. Thanks for reading!

Michel

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Saturday, March 1, 2008 7:00 PM

WORLDOFHIGLET

Michel:

I've just found this thread and it's really illuminating. As someone who's French stops at 'la plume de ma tante' your translations are very interesting. I'm going to look at your other ones now!

PS I must confess to listening in to the French for 'Our Mrs Reynolds' just to hear Mal say "chapeau fleur" after I watched that episode...

You are beholden to no man
http://worldofhiglet.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008 2:34 PM

FORTINM

I'm glad you liked it. I'm looking forward to your comments, if you have any.

I'm curious to know why you picked this particular scene to sample the French translations. Is it the only scene you listened to in French?

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008 7:48 PM

WORLDOFHIGLET

Hi Michel,

I've read all your 'translated translations' now and I've found them fascinating. You have done a fantastic piece of work there.

Re your question about the 'chapeau fleur' we wanted to know what type of voice they had chosen for Mal in the French version (an idle thought) and this was the only part of the episode that I was fairly sure I would recognise what they were saying. Plus it's a really funny line and I wanted to know whether they would keep it in (again, it's about the only time I would know if the translation was accurate).

I'll go back to each and make some comments but one thing that struck me was that sometimes when you thought they had done a 'good' translation I sometimes didn't understand what you thought was good about it because I can only understand the English translation of the phrase (does that make sense?). For example,

WASH
Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Et bien, si j'étais veuf, je te ferais voir ma façon de piloter.
Well, if I was widowed, I would show you my piloting skills.
Literally: "...my way to pilot". I find this very funny!

On paper the translation doesn't sound that funny in the English to me, but maybe that's just me.

Congrats (or should that be 'felicitations'!)on a set of really interesting threads. It is amazing how a change of emphasis or words can make such a big difference and how the experience of watching Firefly must be different in each country/language. Makes me wonder how many foriegn language Firefly sites there are....and whether they would be called flang flans....

You are beholden to no man
http://worldofhiglet.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, March 5, 2008 8:45 PM

ASARIAN

Quote:
Originally posted by worldofhiglet:

I'll go back to each and make some comments but one thing that struck me was that sometimes when you thought they had done a 'good' translation I sometimes didn't understand what you thought was good about it because I can only understand the English translation of the phrase (does that make sense?). For example,

WASH
Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Et bien, si j'étais veuf, je te ferais voir ma façon de piloter.
Well, if I was widowed, I would show you my piloting skills.
Literally: "...my way to pilot". I find this very funny!

On paper the translation doesn't sound that funny in the English to me, but maybe that's just me.

Perhaps it's funnier when you translate the French quite literally:

"Well, if I were widowed, I would show you my way/manner of piloting."

"my 'way' of piloting" is, of course, much more suggestive/ambiguous than the Michel's polite "piloting skills." :) Which he indicates himself, too, btw.

And yes, Michel is doing a great job!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

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