Lost in French Translation, Part 13: Heart of Gold by fortinm

FIREFLY EPISODE DISCUSSIONS

Lost in French Translation, Part 13: Heart of Gold

POSTED BY: FORTINM
UPDATED: Thursday, March 20, 2008 12:33
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Sunday, February 24, 2008 9:51 AM

This review is part of a series of articles analysing the translation work for the French dubbed Firefly series and movie(s). It is intended for anyone who would like to know a little better how a French audience would perceive Joss’ wonderful creation.

Introduction to this series: http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=31382
Previous review (The Message): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32672
Next review (Objects in Space): http://www.fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=4&t=32947

The various excerpts analyses are formatted like this:
In bold is the original line.
In italic is the French translation replacing the original lines.
In bold and italic is my English translation of the French lines.
In regular text is my personal comment on the translation work for the excerpt.

General comments
I have nothing bad to say about this episode. It was a very faithful translation. As for the Chinese, only the "Earth-That-Was" puppet theatre narration was kept.

On with the excerpts then...

Translation score: 5/5
Chinese score: 1/8

Chosen Excerpts

MAL
It's a warrior-like... Strikes fear into the hearts of...
C'est une espèce de cri de guerre. C'est un moyen de... de se rassurer.
It's a sort of war scream. It's a way to... to reassure oneself.
No comments.

MAL and INARA
- You know, not altogether wise, sneakin' up on a fella when he's handling his weapon.
- I'm sure I've heard that said. But perhaps the dining area isn't the place for this sort of thing.
- What do you mean? It's the only place with a table big enough.
- Cela dit, il est vrai qu'il n'est pas sage d'arriver derrière quelqu'un durant un entrainement.
- J'ai déjà entendu cette consigne. Mais ce n'est peut-être pas l'endroit idéal pour s'exercer au tir.
- Ha! Au contraire, c'est la pièce la plus grande du vaisseau.
- That being said, it's true that it's not wise to come up behind someone during training.
- I already heard these instructions. But it may not be the ideal place for shooting practices.
- Ha! On the contrary, it's the biggest room of the ship.
I doubt that Mal would practice shooting anywhere in Serenity.

MAL
This "distress" wouldn't happen to be taking place in someone's pants, would it?
Cet appel de détresse n'aurait pas été lancé par un de tes plus fidèles clients?
Could this distress call have come from one of your most faithful customers?
No joke here. This line doesn't work with the look on Inara's face and the incidental music.

MAL
Only because I was eavesdropping.
Non. Le rideau est un peu épais, alors…
No. The curtain is a bit thick, so...
Now, this is a good joke.

JAYNE and INARA
- That's the whorehouse?
- Yes.
- How come it looks like a frozen dinner pack?
- C'est ça la maison close?
- Oui.
- Pourquoi les murs ressemblent à la banquise?
- That's the brothel?
- Yes.
- Why do the walls look like an ice field?
Maison close is a nicer word than brothel but I couldn't find anything better. It literally means "closed house". They use this expression a few times during this episode, which is fine with me. However, the frozen dinner pack is a better joke than the ice field.

MAL and JAYNE
- I'll introduce you to the rest later. They're good folk.
- Can I start getting sexed already?
- Well, that one's kind of horrific.
- Je vous présenterai le reste de l'équipage tout à l'heure.
- Quand est-ce qu'elles se mettent au travail?
- Il y a un peu de tout, vous verrez.
- I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew later.
- When will they start working?
- There's a bit of everything, you'll see.
This is very good and well rendered. More subtle in French, but as funny.

JAYNE and WASH
- Whoo! My John Thomas is gonna pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty here.
- Would be you get your most poetical about your pecker.
- Ooah! Je commence à voir des petits bonshommes roses voler dans la pièce.
- Quand tu commenceras à les entendre chanter, préviens-nous.
- Whoo! I'm starting to see small pink men flying across the room.
- When you start hearing them sing, do tell us.
I must admit that I don't understand this French metaphor.

WASH
Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Et bien, si j'étais veuf, je te ferais voir ma façon de piloter.
Well, if I was widowed, I would show you my piloting skills.
Literally: "...my way to pilot". I find this very funny!

MAL
I'm just waiting to see if I pass out. Long story.
Je me demande si je vais être à la hauteur. Ça fait longtemps.
I'm wondering if I'll be up to the task. It's been a long time.
I suspect that many times in this series, a bad translation is caused by translators unfamiliar with previous episodes or, more generally, with the characters personalities and the universe they live in. This is a good example.

KAYLEE and WASH
- Captain seem a little funny to you at breakfast this morning?
- Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one.
- Malcolm avait l'air de meilleure humeur que d'habitude ce matin.
- Y'a pas de secret. Il suffit qu'il dorme ses huit heures.
- Malcolm seemed in a better mood than usual this morning.
- There's no secret. He just has to sleep his eight hours.
I never liked this piece of dialog to start with, so I prefer the French translation.

Thanks for reading!

Michel

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008 6:51 PM

WORLDOFHIGLET

Again, you have done a great job here, Michel. Not least because reading your translations is like having a 'compilation tape' of great quotes from the episodes.

The translations here are not too bad, as you said, but the stand-out missed entendre (yes, I know un peu francais, try not to faint

) is the Mal/Inara non-reference to 'weapon'. Now, in the English I'm very certain that 'weapon' does not only mean weapon, and it's disappointing that the translators missed/couldn't be bothered to wedge a similar reference in. Especially as Inara/Mal exchanges nearly always have underlying sexual tension, expressed or not.

You are beholden to no man
http://worldofhiglet.blogspot.com/

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Thursday, March 20, 2008 12:25 PM

FORTINM

A double entendre? Damn! Call me stupid, but I completely missed it, over and over again. I had no idea what you were talking about and had to go over my excerpts list a few times to finally find it. Thanks!

I feel ashamed.

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Thursday, March 20, 2008 12:33 PM

WORLDOFHIGLET

You feel ashamed? Non and double non! I have a finely-honed ear for double entendres (years of practice) and hear them everywhere (whether they are there are not!). After the great job you have done here no need for shame just enjoy the fact that you can always find something new in the dialogue.

You are beholden to no man
http://worldofhiglet.blogspot.com/

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