Astronauts vs cave men by GweiLo

ANGELUS ARCANUM

Astronauts vs cave men

POSTED BY: GWEILO
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 10, 2004 05:38
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VIEWED: 7327
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Saturday, March 6, 2004 5:42 PM

GWEILO

If astronauts and cave men got into a fight... who would win?

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Saturday, March 6, 2004 6:39 PM

WULFHAWK

me

Take my love
Take my land

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Saturday, March 6, 2004 10:38 PM

BEATLE

It would be the cave men because of their technologicaly advanced clubs.

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Saturday, March 6, 2004 11:41 PM

CALHOUN

Whist the astronauts were plotting attack trajectories, vectors and velocities the cave men will have killed them..

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 12:19 AM

FREDEP

do the astronauts have weapons???

otherwise:
astronaut

cave men

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 6:30 AM

GWEILO

In the words of Angel and Spike: "No!". The austonauts would have no weapons.

I'd like to think that the astronauts would win. Superiour reasoning skills and all that... If the astronauts could device a way to defeat the cave men from a distance they could possibly win.

In a close range fight though... the cave men would quickly reduce the poor atro guys to pulp.

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 6:32 AM

TOMANTA

Astronauts tend to have military training, so that gives them an advantage. Yea, on a one-on-one fight I'd give a caveman a good chance, but if you do it as groups the astronauts would win easily.

... Wasn't this an episode of Star Trek?

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 6:35 AM

PHOENIXSHIP

I'm thinking this was a lot of episodes of Star Trek, at least the original... :)

"Why're you arguin' what's already been decided?"
Mal to Jayne, "Jaynestown"

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 2:00 PM

LITWOLF689

Quote:
Originally posted by Calhoun:
Whist the astronauts were plotting attack trajectories, vectors and velocities the cave men will have killed them..

I agree.
Like Spike said, cavemen have the instinct while astronauts think too much. The cavemen would be stronger too while anything could go wrong if you flick just one switch on an astronauts suit.
^-^

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 3:21 PM

TEELABROWN

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfhawk:
me

Take my love
Take my land

Sorry, mi compadre. It's me. I can kill you with my mind.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, March 7, 2004 5:14 PM

BLINKER

Quote:
I'm thinking this was a lot of episodes of Star Trek, at least the original... :)

Actually, it was an entire series...

http://www.tvparty.com/recits.html

...and the surprising answer is that the cavemen and astronauts became fast friends, eventually fixing up the spaceship and moving back to twentieth century New York together as a great big caveman-astronaut family in a desperate attempt to improve ratings. Then they were promptly cancelled, and due to network incompetence, ended their single season with an episode set before the return to present day.

So basically, it was exactly like Firefly, only INCREDIBLY STUPID.

_________
Sliders: Gate Haven - http://slidersweb.net/blinker

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Monday, March 8, 2004 4:58 AM

SOUTHERNMERC

Quite simply, the astronauts. They have training, organization, and rational thought. The cavemen have brute strength, but not alot more than the astronauts proportionally. If we were talking bears or wolves or some such, creatures with natural weapons, then the outcome would be different. But cavemen relied somewhat on their strength but also their superior intellect and organization to win their place in the world. Comon, if brawn were that important our brains would never have become as large and as powerful as they are (relatively speaking, I know there are quite a few dullards out there, most of them fox executives).

There wouldn't be a guaruntee of success for the astronauts, but I would place the odds of winning a secure 3 out of 5. Closer to 2 out of 3 really.

Jayne: "How big a room?"

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Monday, March 8, 2004 5:38 AM

WINTERFELL

i am thinking it would rely less on the weapons and strength issue as it would where theyw ere when the fight took place..

if it were somewhere the caveman was used to, he would win...

if it were somewhere the astronaut was used to, he would win...

if it was somewhere neither had ever been, I'd have to go with the astronaut... they have ability to adapt better and the caveman would probably just be affraid

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Monday, March 8, 2004 3:12 PM

LISSA

the cavemen win...of course the cavemen win...

tear tear:(

~lissa, spwhore

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Monday, March 8, 2004 6:59 PM

DTT

Obviously Phil Hartman as Unfrozen Caveman Astronaut.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

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Monday, March 8, 2004 11:38 PM

ATHERTONWING

Quote:
Originally posted by lissa:
the cavemen win...of course the cavemen win...

tear tear:(

~lissa, spwhore

yeah i thought this quote kinda summed up the whole episode illyria (the caveman) vs Fred (the astranaught) the cavemen win of course the cavemen win! do the cave guys have fire?

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004 5:27 AM

DTT

But is the battle with Illyria done? As some have pointed out before, Fred might have taken the Little Princess tactic.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004 7:56 AM

KURUKAMI

"Little Princess tactic"? I'm not familiar with that one....

History doesn't always repeat itself. Sometimes it merely shouts "Weren't you listening the first time?!?" and lets fly with a club.

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004 8:18 AM

LIZWHIZ

In "The Little Princess", Sara Crewe (aka main character) survives her harsh circumstances by finding (and staying in) her "happy place". A great book by the way--one of my favourites. By Frances Hodgson Burnett.

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004 9:26 AM

ATHERTONWING

wow and correct me if i'm wrong but wasnt wesley reading the little princess to fred in 'a hole in the world'? i think joss may have thrown that in there for later...thanks for that insight liswhiz!

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004 1:14 PM

TEELABROWN

Hey, Ath. You should send a small square-ish picture to haken. Get a pretty shiny avatar.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Wednesday, March 10, 2004 2:13 AM

GWEILO

This question got me to thinking about what kind of weapon the astronauts could construct from scratch. It would depend on the surroundings of course. If they were battling it out on the cave mens home ground there´s not a hell of a lot to work with. Plus, you have to wonder if they´d be able to hit anything even if they were clever enoough to put something fairly effective together.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2004 5:21 AM

DTT

Could the astronauts build some decent longbows quickly enough? How about some slate throwing knives?

And do the astronauts get their protective clothing, or just regular civvies?

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

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Wednesday, March 10, 2004 5:38 AM

GWEILO

Bows were my first thought too. But then I remebered how difficult it is to actually hit something with one of those. They'd have to get enough strength behind the arrow so that it doesn't just piss the cave men off even more or bounce off, you know? Tricky... veeeery tricky.

--
Snacka Firefly/Buffy/Angel/Whedon på Svenska! http://forum.blueharvest.net/serenity

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