FIREFLY UNIVERSE

Take turns writing "The Adventures of Jeremy"

POSTED BY: SUCCATASH
UPDATED: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 19:29
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 11611
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Thursday, February 19, 2004 3:29 PM

SAINT JAYNE


Phil and Ming huddled protectively around Grandma Channain. Phil shielded her with his body and pulled her to the ground, while Ming unholstered his Disney & Wesson 500 magnum. He gripped it shakily by the barrel, the butt pointed loosely in the Sergeant's direction.

"How the smell is everyone and their donkey getting in here?"

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Friday, February 20, 2004 10:15 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up


Sgt. Friday had never had a beautiful young lady smile at him before. He instantly dissolved into mumbles and blushes, as he coyly glanced back at Teela Brown. Det. Masaman, prepared for any eventuality, produced a hypodermic from an inside pocket and plunged it into the Sgt's neck. Friday sank to the floor, gurgling.

Masaman, who wasn't interested in women (or men either, but that's another story)snatched the paper from Teela's hand. "You will be giving me this clue now, I am thinking. Holy Shiva, this is saying that an alien race, angered by the abrupt cancellation of Firefly over a hundred years ago, are having launched towards us a sub-light-speed attack force of most massive size. If you are not getting back to the past and changing history, we are being all blown up next week!"

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Friday, February 20, 2004 1:44 PM

SAINT JAYNE


“And some of us a lot sooner”, threatened a voice from down the hall. A young man in a black suit and sunglasses stood cocky and smiling, one hand in his pocket, one holding a micro-missile launcher. “I’m Fox special agent Carl Schneider, and you… are my promotion.” Carl lazily flashed his badge and continued, “Detective, I’m taking over here.”

Teela Brown threw herself on Jeremy. “Don’t let me die a… a…”

“You must be new to Fox”, Channain grunted as she climbed out from under Phil. “You people are usually better educated about time travel and it’s side effects.”

Carl kept smiling, but his eyebrows furrowed a little.

“Yes,” added Succatash from his taped-up jar, “you should have known not to come here alone. Your game is over.”

Carl’s smile drooped a little. “What do you mean?”

Channain walked slowly towards the Fox special agent, explaining in slow, patronizing syllables, “If you capture us and bring us to Fox, then they’ll know where we are hidden. If that were true, then through time travel they would have destroyed us years ago.”

Carl’s smile vanished and he repeated, “What do you mean?”

Succatash chimed in, “You don’t capture us. We capture you.”

Channain, now only metres away, grinned broadly at Carl as she held out a shiny plastic disc. “Phil, dust off the DVD player. We might have a convert here.”

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Friday, February 20, 2004 1:51 PM

TEELABROWN


Teela was very interested in what just happened. She had loved to research time travel and Quantum Physics and the like, but she only thought of them as theories that wouldn't happen for a long time. I mean, with the rate of new technology for space and such.

She accidentally said out loud, with an almost dreamy look in here eye: "Convert. There's a word I haven't heard in a long while."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Friday, February 20, 2004 5:39 PM

SUCCATASH



Phil turned on the Firefly DVD and they tied Carl to a chair in front of the tv.

Jeremy turned to Channain and asked, "Can you send me and Teela back in time, now?"


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Saturday, February 21, 2004 3:02 PM

EBONEZER


"Yeah," Teela added, "I'm having trouble keeing track of all the new charchters. Soon, it will just be us Jeremy, and i will be less confused."

Channain produced a blue cylander and handed it to Jeremy.

"How does it work?" Jeremy asked.

Channain shugged, "Beats me, but it works pretty well, usually. Bie now." she stepped back as Jeremy and Teela disappeared.

Channain sighed, "It's in their hands now Tash," she looked around. "Tash? Where'd Tash go?"



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Saturday, February 21, 2004 3:29 PM

TEELABROWN


"Yes. Back in our own time." Teela kisses Jeremy lightly on the cheek.

An interrupting cough sounded from below.

"What?" Teela looked down. "Tash! What are you doing here?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, February 21, 2004 5:00 PM

SUCCATASH


Succatash rolled his eyes, and bubbles floated to the top of his jar. "Uh, Hi there," said Succatash. "Seems you forgot to put me down."

Teela B. giggled, but Jeremy was instantly alarmed. "Don't you know what this means?" he said harshly. Succatash and Teela B. stared at him blankly.

"There are 2 Succatash's in this timeline. Not clones, the same person. It's a deadly paradox!"

"So what happens if the Succatash in 2004 meets his head of the future?" asked Teela B.


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Saturday, February 21, 2004 5:25 PM

TEELABROWN


Gorram! I want to explain it! Okay, on with the RP! I might explain it anyway!
..........
Then it hits Teela B. (Her brain has been malfunctioning). "Oh! The universe can be very unstable when timelines converged. If Tash meets himslef, the universe may collapse, or, even more paradoxes will arrsie. It's hard to make a call. This is not good." Teela shuts up and gets wrapped up in her thhoughts.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, February 21, 2004 10:16 PM

SAINT JAYNE


"All this time travel", Jeremy complained as he looked at his watch, "makes this thing pretty useless."

Teela B studied the blue cylinder and pondered the implications of temporal paradoxical conjoinment.

A white FedEx truck pulled up beside them. Out climbed a delivery man in snappy white overalls and a baseball cap. It was Succatash.

The trio were paralysed with fear as young Succatash walked up to Jeremey and asked, "Jeremy Neish?" to which Jeremy nodded dumbly. "Package for you. Sign here please."

Inside the envelope was a new watch set to the local time and a note that read, "Don't worry about a paradox. That only happens if one Succatash tries to kill the other. Just drop Jar-O-Tash in a postbox and we'll pick him up in a hundred years."

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 12:31 AM

SUCCATASH


Jeremy smiled innocently at young Succatash, the delivery man. "Oh yeah?" he said. "You want me to put the future Succatash Head into a mailbox and leave it for 100 years? Why, that's murder. Therefore, the paradox would still exist under the conditions stated in this note. YOU ARE NOT THE REAL SUCCATASH! Who sent this watch?"

The young, handsome Succatash smiled pleasantly. "Fuck you," he answered, then kicked Jeremy in the testicles. Jeremy groaned, "I'm more or less intact!" and fell with a thud, unconscious.

The mysterious watch clattered to the ground. Teela picked it up and tossed it quickly into a nearby sewer drain.

2 seconds later, it exploded and everyone was blown far away, and they were all hurt.

But they weren't dead. The explosion sent clouds of smoke into the air. A dark figure appeared within the twirling whirlwind.

"Always in trouble, ye be" came the high pitched voice of the Master. "Leave me behind, you do, ya bastards."

"Master!" cried Teela B, and she got up and then fell back down. Somehow, she managed to stumble into an elequent bow.

Jeremy woke groggily. His head felt like it was in cement. He struggled to stand, and then realized his head was actually stuck in cement. After furious twisting and turning, he broke free and found himself staring at a sign that read, "Caution, Wet Cement."

"This isn't my day," muttered Jeremy.

Muffled shouts and cries for help could be heard under a nearby pile of debris. Jeremy staggered over to the sound and began moving rocks and fragments of wood. At last, he pulled the Jar O Tash to safety. Miraculously, the jar wasn't cracked and all the goo remained intact.

The Master smiled at Jeremy, and spoke, "Headstrong, ye be. Angry. I sense it in you. But you are doing well."

Then the Master turned to Teela Brown and bowed. Everyone was astonished.

"Why are you bowing to me, Master?" asked Teela B. She was confused. The Master snapped his fingers and suddenly a bright red jumpsuit appeared in thin air.

The Master spoke to Teela, "A Magic Jumpsuit, this be. Wear it, you must. Special magic powers, you will have."

The Master snapped his fingers again, and suddenly Teela B. wore the tight-fitting Super Suit. Succatash whistled admiringly from inside his jar.

Teela B. was smiling, "Wow, I feel stronger, I'm a Super Hero, kick ass! I'm stronger than hell and faster than light, and lot's of other stuff too!"

"Only for you, will the red suit work," warned the Master, and he cackled in a high pitched voice.



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Sunday, February 22, 2004 1:25 AM

SUCCATASH


"Hey, nice suit, but I gotta question," spoke the Succatash head. He directed his gaze at Teela B. "Can you fly?"

Teela looked questioningly at the Master. The Master laughed playfully.

"Oh, a cape you be wanting? To fly? Must have cape!" cackled the Master. "The best part, this be."

Jeremy frowned. "Well, is she a true super hero, or not? Can she fly? How can we get the magic flying cape upgrade?"

The Master snapped his fingers and a golden cape appeared in thin air. "This be a magic cape, but belong to Teela B, it does not. To Jeremy it belongs."

Everyone gasped, and turned towards Jeremy. He stared in defiance at the Master and demanded, "But if Teela has the Super Suit, and I have the Cape, how can she fly? Can I just give it to her?"

The Master bowed, and answered, "Only for you, the Golden Cape works. Hug her, you must, if you wish to fly. Together, the only way to fly, is."

Teela B suddenly banged into Jeremy and sent him sprawling. She appeared out of nowhere.

"Sorry, Jeremy, I haven't figured out Super Speed yet," apologized Teela.

The Master cackled with glee and said, "My, this will be fun. Enjoy watching this, will I."

Jeremy rolled to his feet and approached the Master. "So, what else does my Cape do? I mean, besides help Teela fly if I hug her."

The Master stared at Jeremy and grew deadly serious. He spoke gravely:

"Many powers has the Cape. Walk unseen, you can. Stop a crossbow bolt, it will. 'Tis fireproof, and cannot be cut by any human blade. Save you from death, it can. Only for you, the cape magic works."


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Sunday, February 22, 2004 2:23 AM

SUCCATASH


Just then, a strong, handsome woman emerged from behind the shadows. She wore a tight blue jumpsuit. Beside her was a huge man wearing a large bronze cape.

"Shit, Holy!" cried the Master, "Foxie, it is!"

"I am Foxie," spoke the woman in a cold voice. "This is my Capeman, Raul. Prepare to die, weaklings." She looked Teela up and down, and smirked. "So, it seems I have a new enemy. You're new, Miss Red Suit, so I won't kill you right away. But be assured, I will kill you."

Teela gulped. She was afraid, but she felt her newly found power surging through every vein in her body. She tried to speak confidently. "I'm Teela Brown, and, uh, this is my Cape Man, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiled and waved at the big, blue lady, feeling foolish. He awkwardly adjusted his new cape, which suddenly felt weightless, despite the heaviness of the material.

Teela looked sad and scared, so Jeremy protectively put his arm around her. Immediately, they began floating into the air.

"How dare you fly in my presence!" cried Foxie, indignantly. Her blue jumpsuit flexed impressively. She turned and roughly grabbed her huge Capeman, and hopped onto his shoulders. They began to float into the air.

"This is how we fly," boomed her big Cape Man, speaking for the first time.

Jeremy clung to Teela with all his strength, and shouted, "Good god! What's going on!" They floated helplessly in the air while the evil Blue Suited super woman and her Cape Man came at them Chicken Fight style.


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Sunday, February 22, 2004 4:32 AM

TEELABROWN


Tash, you are twisted, yet extremely hi-lrious. And I'm also wearing a red jumpsuit right now...
..........
Teela started talking. "Well, we're not going to run away. We need to win. Move!" Foxie and Capemen came hurdling towards them, Jeremy moved, and they went hurdling past.

"What else can this jumpsuit do? Do I have anything else besides Superspeed? Move." Foxie stopped them, and threw a suprised looked at Teela.

"Not fair! Your jumpsuit gives you clairvoyancy!"

"It does?"

"Yeah! You weren't even paying attention and you always missed us. Oh well. Prepare to die!"

TBC...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:48 AM

EBONEZER


Tash twisted around in the jar as he tried to look up from the ground and see the action. he had just gotten a good view when two very large black shoes stepped into his view.

"Hey, move it! I'm trying to cheer on the home team here."

The very large man wearing the very large shoes leaned down and looked eye to eye with Tash, "I think not," he said in a gruff voice.

Tash's jar bubbled.

The very large man picked up the jar-o-tash and started walking down an alley.

"Hey! You can't do this to me! I'm an American!"(1)

The very large man said nothing but continued walking. A slightly smaller man stepped out of the shadows and walked along with them.

Then Tash noticed something very scary and generaly not good about the very large man and the slightly smaller man.

"Guys!" he shouted, "Hey guys! Help! They have blue gloves on!"

Jeremy and Teela didn't notice his screaming.

"Guys!!" he banged his head against the side of the jar. The taped up crack grew and some goo ozed out and spatterd on the ground. Every few steps that the very large man some more gloo spilled out.

"Guys!" Tash kept screaming, "Two by two!! Hands of blue!! Two by two!! Hands of blue!!!

(1)hey, bonus points for whoever can name the movie that this quote came from.

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 10:22 AM

SAINT JAYNE


OOC:
Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
(1)hey, bonus points for whoever can name the movie that this quote came from.

That implies there's only one. I'll go with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

We seemed to have crossed the line, incorporating Firefly into the adventure beyond just quotes. Now anything goes...

----

Foxie's lips moved, and out-of-sync words came out. "You have insulted my family. Now we must Kung Fu fight!"

The battle lit up the sky, although that might have been the street lamps turning on. The fast action nearly jarred Jeremy off of Teela's back a number of times, and he had to cling for dear life, eventually wrapping his legs around her waist.

Teela Brown saw an opening. In a sacrifice maneuver, she climbed out of Jeremy and pushed off with her legs, leaping powerfully at Foxie. Raul easily side-stepped (-glid?) the attack, and Teela Brown embedded herself inside the building behind him.

Foxie grinned evilly and turned to glare at Jeremy.

Jeremy stalled for time. "Uh, before you kill me, or not, there could be torture, I must say something. It's... uh, it all started when I was 10 and..."

Distracted by Jeremy's final words, neither Raul nor Foxie noticed the building behind them teeter closer. No shadows betrayed the slow attack. By the time Foxie looked back to see what that gnarling noise was, it was too late.

CRASH!

Foxie crawled painfully from underneath the empty office building, gasping, "...her luck... it's... amazing..."

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 10:59 AM

SUCCATASH


Meanwhile, Tash felt dizzy as the Life Goo drained from his cracked jar. For a brief second, Tash thought he heard the Ghostbusters theme song, but the sound quickly faded away.

"Help...me...." he whispered.

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 11:07 AM

EBONEZER


OOC: You were close St. Jayne, but not quite there.

----------------------------------

"Dibs on her suit!" Jeremy called out as they landed.

The master shook his head, "Not your color, is red. Fit you it will not. Now, interrogate the prisoner, we will"

Teela looked around," Somethings missing," she said.

Jeremy snapped his fingers, "A mask! All super hero's need masks!"

"That's not what I mean."

"Gone is the building?" suggested Master.

"Yeah, but it's not that either."

There was a pause as Tash didn't add his suggestion.

"Tash! Tash is gone!"







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Sunday, February 22, 2004 11:56 AM

SAINT JAYNE


OOC:
Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
OOC: You were close St. Jayne, but not quite there.

Of course, you're right, it was Marian, not Willy, so that must make it Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 12:00 PM

EBONEZER


OOC: Bingo! 200 points for St. Jayne.
---------------

"Tash is still gone! We should do something!"


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Sunday, February 22, 2004 1:49 PM

EBONEZER


The master stepped forward, "Look for Tash we must. Use the force we will."

The master closed his eyes and began humming. Jeremey and Teela glanced at each other then did the same. A few bars into the humming Jeremey realized the master was humming "the Raiders March."

"Wait wait wait!" Jeremy opened his eyes to see a man with a beard and a cap that said Jurassic Park across it.

"Speilburg!" the Master exclaimed.

"From this point on this story will not use any themes, idea's or concepts from my movies, got it? No more ripping me off!"
Speilburg grabbed the master and stalked off he was almost out of hearing range when he turned and shouted back, "You can't take my sky from me!"

A man and a big fuzzy thing walked by, "What's his problem, Chewy?"

"Annngghhhhyyyyghh."

Teela and Jeremy exchanged glanses then started looking around for any sighns of Tash.

"Look!" Teela shouted, "Tash goo! And here's more! With any luck it will lead us staight too him!"

"Right! We don't have much time left, let's go!" Jeremy was feeling very heroic with his cape on, he liked the way it bilowed behind him when he walked.

They folowed the goo untill it came to a door.

"On 3," Jeremy said, "1...2..."

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 2:57 PM

TEELABROWN


This is really starting to sound like Douglas Adams.
...........
"...3!" They pused open the door, and saw two people drinking tea.

"What the? Where's Tash?" Teela said.

"Two doors down." one replied.

"Oh. Thanks." The team ran off.

"Man, visitors just get weirder and weirder." The other one said as he continued to drink his tea.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 3:17 PM

SUCCATASH


Meanwhile, Tash's head was being tortured by the Blue Hand men. The large man laughed cruelly and said to Succatash, "I've got a game we can play! It's called Head." He smiled evilly and pulled down the zipper on his pants. He was wearing a blue latex condom.

Succatash stared in horror. "I hope my friends get here soon!" he thought. Tears began streaming down his face.


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Sunday, February 22, 2004 4:43 PM

TEELABROWN


"Okay. This should be the door. Ready, go!" Teela opened the door.

"Tash! Oh my God..." Teela gasped. She was shocked, she was mad, and she had superpowers.

She starts to yell as loud as her throat will let her. "You let him go! You vile, scum of a man! How dare you! And zip up your pants!" She grabbed the Tash head. "Tash, you've been crying. Well, don't worry. We're going." she glared at the Blue-hands with a look that could melt lead, and she started to leave.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 5:22 PM

SHINY


Quote:
Originally posted by Saint Jayne:
We seemed to have crossed the line, incorporating Firefly into the adventure beyond just quotes.


"Silly Saint Jayne...you cannot cross the line. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth."

"Whaa...?" mumbled Saint Jayne, his attempt to think of something clever to write in the Jeremy thread about the jar-humping-blue-hands-men interrupted by strange green-lettered words appearing unbidden across his computer monitor, "...what truth?"

"There is no line."

"There is no line?" repeated Saint Jayne woodenly.

"Then you will see that it is not the line that is crossed, it is only yourself."

"But...but..." stammerred Saint Jayne, "this is just a story we're writing on this Firefly web site, it's not really --"

"THERE. IS. NO. LINE."

As Saint Jayne sat in front of his keyboard, at a loss as to how to respond, there was a sudden KNOCK at his door.


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Sunday, February 22, 2004 5:29 PM

SAINT JAYNE


BWWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 5:36 PM

SUCCATASH


Saint Jayne yelled in fear. He was just a regular guy, a Firefly fan, and he was suddenly very scared.

Saint Jayne quickly pulled on his boots and grabbed the only weapon he could find. It was a heavy ceramic sculpture of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He slowly opened the door and prepared to strike. To his surprise, it was just a small child.

"Hi, do you want to buy some cookies?" asked the little girl.

"No," said Saint Jayne. But the girl grew angry and kicked him in the shin. Saint Jayne cried in pain and doubled over. At that moment, the little girl grinned evilly and stabbed him with some kind of hyperdermic needle.

Saint Jaint was suddenly paralized but he was completely conscious. The little girl smiled sweetly and said, "We need to stop you from doing what you did in the future. There's some people wish to talk with you."

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:02 PM

EBONEZER


"oh and for the record," the little girl added, "there is a line, but it is very fine, and it moves beneith you. You do not step over it. All that 'there is no line' stuff was just to distract you. Now come along." With incredible strenght the girl threw St. Jayne over her shoulder and began walking accros the lawn.

As he bounced along St. Jayne vaugly noticed his next door neigbor laying in front of a big yellow bulldozer in his pajamas and yelling, "display room? I found the plans for the overpass at the bottom of a locked cabnent in an unused bathroom in the basement with a sign that says 'beware of leapord' on the door!"

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:43 PM

SUCCATASH


Hours later, Saint Jayne walked like a robot into a nearby store. He was greeted by a friendly sales woman.

"Can I help you find something?" the lady asked.

"Yes," Saint Jayne answered, in a robotic tone. "I need a case of blue latex gloves and also a case of blue latex condoms."

The sales girl smiled. "Try aisle 15."

Without a word, Saint Jayne marched off towards aisle 15.



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Sunday, February 22, 2004 6:57 PM

EBONEZER


Jeremy and Teela stood outside the blue guy's building. Teela had Tash under one arm.

"Well," Tash spoke up, "All this standing here is just a blast and thanks so much for saving me, but i AM leaking again."

"uhg" jeremy wrinkled his nose, "do we have to fill the jar again?"

"let's find a new jar first. Baby steps," Teela suggested.

"Hey look a convenience store!" Jeremy said,"how very convenient."

"As the name implyies," Tash said rolling his eyes, "Now can we get on with it?"

They went into the store and bought a large jar of pickles. As they were on there way to the checkout when they noticed a small display:

LIFE GOO
KEEP YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES BODY PARTS ALIVE WITH EASE AND GRACE

SALE BUY GALLON ONE GET ANOTHER GALLON FREE!

They picked some of that up, shoplifed the whole deal, (time travel had not only messed up their watches, but apparently emptied theur pockets as well), dumped out the pickles, and soon Tash was bubbling happly away in a new, crack free jar. It did smell vaugly of pickles but one couldn't be picky when it came to life support.

They were wondering what to do next when they saw a man leaving the store with a shopping care filled with blue gloves and condoms.

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Sunday, February 22, 2004 7:35 PM

SAINT JAYNE


"That's odd", remarked Teela Brown.

"You know what's odd? No paradox from my two heads", added Succatash's head.

FZOORP!

"What was that?" asked Fry, looking up to the sky.

"Fry, would you stop daydreaming and help me find the rest of Bender?" Leela's arms were crossed and she stared down Fry menacingly.

"Hey, no rush, toots", the robot head tucked under Fry's arm said in a soothing voice. "Luckily we still have the one part of me that consumes beer. Where is that life-saving goo, anyhow?"

"Right here!" Fry beamed. "I made you a beer bath so I don't have to keep giving you handfuls."

Bender gasped in delight.

Leela rolled her eye, and spotted Professor Farnsworth hobbling towards them. "Professor! I thought you were taken from us by the evil Stephan Playmountain?"

"Wha...? Oh, no, that must have been some other master of time and space. I've been right here."

Down the street, Zoidberg played. "Look! Claw mittens!" he cried in delight, a condom over each of his claws. "They even have skin lotion on them! Ooo, and what's this?" He picked up one of the blue plastic gloves and smiled wickedly. "Look out world, Zoidberg is ready for the ladies tonight!"

FZOORP!

"Did you say something Leela... I mean Teela?" Jeremy looked around, slightly disoriented.

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Monday, February 23, 2004 2:22 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up


Jeremy looked around, slightly disoriented. "Strange, I can't speak Chinese any more. And someone took my religious pamplets without me noticing. Guess I was distracted."

"But enough of that, now that we're back in Tres Angeles we can catch the trolley over to the capital and tell Viceroy Nater about the Fox-glove problem. Maybe he can telepath the Emperor back in New Amsterdam and they'll send the zeppelin fleet to...wait, something's wrong here."

"Oh, crap! Those idiots sent us back all right, but we're on the wrong timeline. See, it's painted right here on the pavement. And it's a broken white line flanked with solid yellow lines. No passing. we're bound to fail."



"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Monday, February 23, 2004 11:58 AM

MANIACNUMBERONE


Teela smacks Jeremy in the back of the head. "You never could speak Chinese, you idiot. Quit fooling around."
Teela glares at Jeremy, who continues to spout jibberish. "Look," says Jeremy, "the sky is all funky looking, and what are those big things coming at us?!"

Teela looks calmly around and seeing nothing out of the ordinary, except Jeremy, smacks him a little harder on the back of the head. "Snap out of it." She says. "Tres angeles... please."

Teela glances at a nearby road sign: Los Angeles 14 miles.
She turns to look back at Jeremy and says slightly flustered and annoyed, "Jeremy, put your glasses on."


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Monday, February 23, 2004 5:29 PM

TEELABROWN


Teela Brown: "Well, let's go. 14 miles isn't long until you actually try travel it by a system other than car. How fast can you fly?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, February 23, 2004 5:46 PM

SUCCATASH


Teela held onto the Tash jar, and Jeremy grabbed Teela's legs. They began floating, slowly at first, but gradually faster. Jeremy concentrated and so did Teela, and finally they straightened their course and sped through the air towards the city.


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Monday, February 23, 2004 6:35 PM

EBONEZER


"um, all this flying is just nifty," Tash mumbled, slightly wary of the tree tops 30 feet below him, "but what's in LA? Besides Mark and Brian, the best radio on, um, the radio, and the set of that Las Vegas TV show?"

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Monday, February 23, 2004 7:51 PM

SUCCATASH


Jeremy looked sheepish. "I thought you knew," he said. He clung to Teela's legs with all his might, and tried not to look down. "We're meeting our contact at a Grateful Dead Tribute party. We were advised to bring a dead head."

Teela smiled at Tash and said, "That's where you come in."

They flew on and continued to talk about this.

The city grew larger, as they flew closer. Down below, the humans on the street looked like tiny ants.



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Tuesday, February 24, 2004 6:20 AM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up


"Hmm". thought Jeremy, "They really do look like ants. Six legs, antennae and pincers. Head, thorax and abdomen. And those buildings sure look like ant mounds. But if I say anything Teela'll just whack me again. Not that there's anything wrong with that...and that red suit does give her sort of a dominatrix look. Mistress Teela. Has a nice ring to it. Well why not."

"Hey Teela, those aren't people down there. They're giant ants."

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Tuesday, February 24, 2004 3:30 PM

EBONEZER


"What?" Teela said, looking down.

"lemme see! Lenne see!" Tash said," I can't see."

Teela tilted the jar down so that Tash could see.

"Ahh scary! I don't wanna see! Up! UP! Tilt me up!"

Teela did this and Tash started screaming louder, "Look out! Run away! Run away!"

Teela and Jeremy looked up just in time to se a giant foot about to smash them. They barley moved out of the way in time.

"Everythings huge!" jeremy shouted.

"No! Teel shouted,"I think we shrunk!"

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Tuesday, February 24, 2004 8:03 PM

SAINT JAYNE


Yossarian monitored his instrumentation with alarm. This was not good. The closer Teela flew towards Los Angeles, the more the Paradoxes gained in strength. The shrinking would soon pass, but what else awaited them? “Teela,” he spoke into the large 1930s style sports-mike in front of him, “you need to be very careful in LA.”

“The shrinking will pass. We need to be very careful in LA”, Teela parroted.

Think, think, think. If there was one thing Yossarian was good at, it was thinking. They needed to get to that Grateful Dead party. The environment there would mask further paradoxes. But what if they failed! Yossarian’s finger twitched nervously over the eject button.

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Tuesday, February 24, 2004 8:14 PM

SUCCATASH


Teela, Jermey and Tash eventually flew into LA and landed at the Grateful Dead Party. Jeremy was glad he was back to normal size. He put his arm around Teela and they began floating, so he reluctantly let go. Now was no time for flying. It was time to mingle and have fun.

All the famous LA people were there talking and laughing. Teela gasped, "Oh my God! It's Joss Whedon! He's standing right there!" Teela grabbed Jeremy's hand and started to run towards Joss.

But as soon as she grabbed Jeremy's hand, they started floating into the air, so Teela sighed, and let go. They approached Joss excitedly, eager to thank him for his great art.

Succatash bubbled inside his jar, "Wow, I can't believe I'm looking at Joss!"

As they approached, they realized that Joss was arguing with a group of people. Suddenly, a man slapped Joss and knocked him to the ground. Joss got up and pulled a gun...

"Oh no you don't!" cried Teela. She went into Super Mode and kicked some serious ass. When it was all over, everyone was unconscious except Joss.

Joss smiled and put away his gun. "Thanks guys. I'm glad you crazy fans showed up. Can I get a ride from you?"

"Of course, Joss," said Teela, with a tear in her eye. "We are honored. We are here to protect you. Just grab on."

Teela held onto Jar O' Tash, while Jeremy and Joss Whedon clung to each of Teela's legs. They soared triumphantly away.


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Tuesday, February 24, 2004 11:39 PM

MANIACNUMBERONE


As they were soaring through the air, Teela had a sudden thought. "Joss," she called down to her leg, "how did you know we were fans?"

Joss chuckled. "Well, first off, besides saving my ars, you've got Tash. I'd recognize his crazy head anywhere." At this Tash bubbled in his jar and gave a pleased belch of approval.

"Always amazes me how he can smoke and belch and whatnot with only a head", said Jeremy.

Joss laughed even harder and climbed up Teela's leg and onto her shoulder, perching like a little child. "I recognized the gleam in your eyes as well," Joss said to Teela "your passion gives you away."

They soared along through the night sky till Joss suddenly began to sing out in a low voice, "Take me out to the black, tell 'em I ain't comin' back." He kept singing and everyone boisterously joined in. They finished the verse and started the song again, rousing the birds from their cloudy nests, till the singing eventually ended and Teela looked at Joss. He had a very far away look.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 10:58 AM

SUCCATASH



Teela gently broke the silence. "Joss, why did those men hurt you at the party?"

"They were mean Hollywood execs," replied Joss with a grimace. "They think they can push me around. Well, I'll show them."

Succatash spoke up. "Hey, where are we going?" he asked.

Joss smiled fondly at the Tash Head. "Patience, my friend. Just a little farther until we reach my hidden bungalow. You all are my invited guests. We need to regroup with the others and form a plan.

"Others? What others?" asked Jeremy.

"You'll see," Joss replied cryptically.

They flew on.


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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 1:18 PM

TEELABROWN


"Hey, Jeremy, do you want to climb up?" Teela said quietly, as to not disturb anyone else.

"We're approaching." said Joss.

They started to descend.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 1:28 PM

TEELABROWN


"Uh, no I'm fine down here." Jeremy replied up.

They landed in front of an apartment block. "I'm room number 22."

"This doesn't look that disguised." Jeremy pipped up.

"I told you, it's a bungalow. It only looks smaller on the outside.

"So it's like Tardis?" Teela asked.

"Tar-what?" Joss replied.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 1:59 PM

SUCCATASH



"Don't you watch Dr. Who?" asked Teela.

But before Joss could answer, three evil black-suited women arrived on the shoulders of their Capemen.

A fierce battle began. "Everyone get inside, I'll hold them off!" cried Teela.

Teela did her best, and managed to kill two of the evil super women. But the third woman came up from behind Teela and shot her with some kind of stun gun. Teela crumpled to the floor.

She awoke as Jeremy splashed cold water on her face. "Stop that! I'm awake!" Teela said, coughing.

Jeremy's face was as white as a ghost. "What happened, Jeremy?" she asked. She sat up and looked around.

"They got Joss. Take a look," he answered and pointed into the sky. With her super vision, Teela could see a black speck in the sky. The evil super woman and her cape man were flying away fast, and Joss was their captive.

"Let's go save him!" cried Teela.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 3:30 PM

SAINT JAYNE


Teela was wild with bloodlust. Her fists dripped with essential fluids of her fallen foes, but the fact that one yet lived...

Her muscles quivered and bulged unnaturally. Her eyes grew wide and her bared teeth glistened in the twighlight. She grabbed Jeremy with one hand and deposited him between her legs. Like a rocket they launched, the ground behind them seared and cracked.

Jeremy couldn’t breath. The crushing pressure from Teela’s thighs was just too great. But he wasn’t about to let suffocation get in the way of saving Joss.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:07 PM

EBONEZER


"Well," Tash said as he watched them fly away, "Here I am again. All alone and unprotected. I'll surley be taken buy the crazy blue people." He sighed, "At least they use protection. We wouldn't want little sex crazed people with a latex festish running around unchecked now would we."

He looked up to see a man in a rumpled suit walking up to him, "Well, here goes," Tash mumbled.

"Tash! The man shouted excitedly, "Is it really you?!"

Tash raised an eyebrow, this definatly new. "Uh n-" he started, but stoped himself when a well-shaped woman in a bikini ran out of the apartment.

"Oh my god is it Tash?" she shrieked.

"Yes!" Tash exlaimed, "yes I am!"

They picked him up and tool him into the apertment babbling all the while about how much of an honor it was to be carrying him and meeting him and such.

Once inside Tash was met by an amazing sight. One whole wall was dedicated to him and his efforets to save Firefly. There were pictures, notes from fans, the story of his life, even a biography channel doccumentary running in a continus loop on a giant screen.

Even better, the room had a hot-tub filled with half naked girls.

His day was looking up.


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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:27 PM

SUCCATASH


"Thank Ebonezer!" breathed Succatash. He looked happily at all the topless women.

One of the girls nearby turned and smiled. "Who is Ebonezer?" she asked coyly. "Is he the God of your religion?"

"Sure, whatever you say," said Succatash, as the girl picked up his jar and nestled it between her breasts.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:47 PM

EBONEZER


"Was it hard getting here?" The girl asked him.

"Oh yes, very hard, and er, difficult. I got abducted by the men with blue hands you know."

"How how terrible!" she said, stroking the side of the jar.

"What did you do?" another girl asked.

"Well, I jet kept a cool head and soon a solution presented itself," he said, deciding it might be best to leave out him crying and all those little details about really being helpless having no body and all.

"Oh your so brave Tash! You must be the brains behind the whole opeeration."

"Well, yes considering all i have is brains."

The girls laughed hystericly at his not funny joke.



---------------
OOC: just though i should point out that i am a Chick. I do have a horney soon-to-be-my-boyfriend, and found this happy place in his brain.

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