Take Turns Writing: "The Perils of Ebo" by Succatash

"So it's a she?" Tash asked.

"Well..." The LDT

"It's neither?" Kat asked.

"It's more of a lot of shes. It's an evil sect of nuns. The Big Bad is..."

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"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, June 13, 2004 4:48 PM

"Is..." Tash said.

"The suspense is killing me!" Ebo said.

"Really?" The LDT asked.

"Just an expression." Ebo replied.

"Oh. Anyway, the Big Bad is..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Sunday, June 13, 2004 4:57 PM

"The Sisters of St. Mary Quilting Club."

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Sunday, June 13, 2004 5:35 PM

Tash spoke seriously. "Yes, it's true. Ebo must battle the Evil Nuns."

"AGGGGGGHhhhhhhhhh!" everyone screamed in fear.

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Monday, June 14, 2004 4:47 AM

Ebo stopped screaming. "Wait, how evil are the Evil Nuns?"

The LDT shreiked "Do you force me to tell you?" (Teela had been automatically translating.)

"Well, not some much as force, just asking." Ebo said.

"Oh." The LDT muttereed something in Chinese, and Teela decided not to translate it.

"Well," continued the LDT, "The are so evil that..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 4:58 PM

The LDT was cut off.

"Let me guess- they're so evil they're... evil?" said Inigo.

"You don't understand. All they care about is-"

"evil?"

"Well... yes...."

"They're evil. We get it. Can we move on?"

"O...k..."

======
Yes, I stole that from Amends, and yes, I know this, but hey, there's a reason Joss is Joss. He's just. that. good. Besides, I couldn't think of anything anyways. *tag*

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 5:14 PM

A cloud of smoke suddenly formed out of nowhere. When the dust settled, before them stood an Evil Nun.

"He he he!" cried the Evil Nun. "You kiddies are screwed, we will kill you all! He he hehe!" The evil nun cackled and then disappeared into thin air.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 5:19 PM

"Woah. The Nun swore. Didn't know they did that. Man. She must be pretty hardcore evil." said Inigo.

"Yes, yes she is." said the LDT.

"So, how do we kill her?" asked Ebo. "Do we have to kill her?"

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 5:25 PM

Suddenly the cloud of smoke came back. Winds blew furiously and the air shimmered. When the dust settled, everyone opened their eyes.

Ebo was gone. Only her clothes remained, crumpled on the ground.

Tash spoke somberly. "Ebo has been stolen through some evil nun portal. And she's naked. Or dead."

Teela added helpfully, "She could be naked AND dead."

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Friday, June 18, 2004 4:15 AM

"If she disappeared in a cloud of smoke, we could follow her." The Big Guy said.

"You're with us?" Teela asked.

"I thought so."

"Okay, carry on."

"Thank you. So we make our own cloud of smoke. Anyone got a match?"

A chorus of no's greeted him.

"Um, this could take a while..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, June 19, 2004 7:40 PM

Meanwhile, in another dimension, Ebo ran happily along the beach, naked as a Jaybird.

Her old memory was gone, she only could think of her Master's orders: "Count the sand."

So, Ebo danced and ran and counted the sand.

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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 1:28 PM

"One billion grains...one billion one grains...one billion two grains..." Ebo happily counted.

Meanwhile...

"So, all we have to do is rip a hole in the space-time continum, the very fabric holding all of ours lives together?" Teela asked.

"Uhh, yeah." the Big Guy said.

"Why didn't you say so? You were goin'g on about smoke and all..."

"The point is..." Tash said.

"Yes., the point. My friend has a machine that will do that. Now, will he lend it to me?" Teela said.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Thursday, June 24, 2004 6:38 PM

After a bit, they made it to Teela's friend's place.

"OK, this is the place" said Teela.

"Great, let's go get it from him." Tash replied.

"Well, there's a slight problem..."

"Teela, why is there a problem?" Tash asked.

"We really don't want to be having a problem." TJ continued.

"Can we pretend there isn't a problem?" added Kat.

Teela paused. "It's just that... I really don't wanna go talk to him."

"And why would that be?"

"We're kinda- ex."

"This is your ex? Your 'friend' with the machine is your ex?"

"Well, ex-friend, not ex, but yeah, it didn't end that well..."

"What happened?"

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Friday, June 25, 2004 6:07 PM

Weird, the guy who was my tiny bit of inspiration is my best bud.
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"Well, we got into a big discussion about which is better, Windows or Mac."

"What about Linux, heard that's better than both." Ebo said.

"Yeah...Well, let's see if I can convince him to let me borrow the machine..."

They knocked, the door opened, and they saw...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Friday, June 25, 2004 6:23 PM

Leaving on vacation for about 3 weeks, starting Sunday. So I can't post as often. Oh well.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004 3:38 AM

...rows and rows of monkeys on typewriters.

"What's with the monkeys?" asked Tash.

"Um, well, like me and a couple friends, he's a humongus fan of Hitchhiker's Guide." Teela said.

"So..." another voice said.

"When Ford and Arthur are picked up by The Heart of Gold, the improbability is amazingly high, two to the power of 276,709 to one agaisnt."

"And..." someone else commented.

"There's something that asks if you had an infinite mumber of monkeys in an infinite number of typewriters, they'd sooner or later make a script for Hamlet."

"Ah. I see. How geeky is your friend?" Tash asked.

"Um, shall we see? It should be around here somewhere..."

"So, do we steal it if he won't lend it to us?" TJ asked.

"Yeah, about that. I don't know where it is, you see."

"You were on of his good friends, and you don't know where it is?!" the Big Guy asked in astonishment.

"Yeah, it's complicated."

And they kept on walking.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Friday, August 27, 2004 7:08 PM

Wait, hold the phone, can we get a re-cap of who's a head, and who's a body, and whats goin on? I haven't been by in a while, although i get the idea it hasn't been updated in a while...but it shouldn't die, I'm always so very amused by these things. I could just read the thing i guess, but that sounds like work...

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Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Saturday, August 28, 2004 3:08 AM

It'd probably be easier to read it. You know how involved and confusing these things can get.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Saturday, August 28, 2004 7:05 AM

Ok, I think i got it now.
---------------------------------

Ebo finished counting the sand, and suddenly, her masters new orders poped into her head, "Read this," and a small, leather bound bible appeared in front of her.

Causiosly, Ebo picked it up.

"Ahhh! It burns!" she shreiked and threw the bible back into the sand.

"Read it!" her master said via the voice in her head, "Read it! Read it!" The bible started floating and advancing toward Ebo. Ebo turned and ran, and the bible floated after her.

~Mienwhile, back at Teelas Ex's house~

The group (now reduced to Teela, Tash, TJ, and Kat, Right?), continued down the long halway.

"Should be behind one of these doors," Teela said.

"I would like to take a moment to point out that there are quite alot of doors," Tash said, looking at the hundreds of doors linning the hallway.

"Well, start opening," Teela said, pulling open the nearest to find a room full of gummi bears.

The next room yeiled a single cell phone on a gold podeum.

The next a large creature with tentacles making valentine cards.

The next had behives.

The next had strippers. "ooo, lets stay here a minute," Tash said.

"No," Teela said, "We gotta find the maciene and save Ebo."

"But...strippers..." Tash whinned.

"No."

"Couldn't we bring one with us?"

"No."

The next room was full of money. "Hey! This is better then the strippers!" Tash exclaimed.

"You can't have any of this either."

"Why not?"

"It's not yours, besides, where are you gonna put it? Its not like you have pockets."

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Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 1:19 PM

"Last door, this has got to be it," T.J. said.

"Okay then. Kat, if you please."

Kat opened the door.

What they saw was...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 29, 2004 1:43 PM

...the machiene.

"I don't get it," kat mumbled, "Why all that buildup do find the maciene."

Teela shrugged, or would if she had...that is to say...that...um..

Suddenly the authors thought procees was inturupted by a loud banging sound, followed by a string of curses.

Kat took a defensive posistion, "What was that."

Teela rolled her eyes, "That would be my ex, Sam."

A short man in glasses stepped out from behind the maciene, covered in grease. He peered through the thick lenses at them, "who are you?"

"Uh...Hi Sam."

"Teela? Teela is that you?"

"Uh...yeah. Hi."

He moved to hug her, but soon realized something was ammis. "Teela, what happened to your body? You're beautiful, beautiful body..."

"Uh...well, um, Tash do you remember?"

"Sea monster?" Tash suggested.

"Sounds good. Sea monster stole it."

"Well we must take action! We must punish the one who took your beautiful, curving body, from you."

Kat leaned in and whispered in Teela's ear, "Somehow, i get the idea that he didn't date you for your brains."

--------------------------

back on the beach, ebo still ran from the word of god.

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Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, August 29, 2004 4:05 PM

This is getting odd. I have a friend named Sam. Well, a co-worker where I volunteer named Sam. We sometimes talk about science. That's about it.
_______
"Um, yeah about that, you see, uh, nevermind. It's ahrd to explain. Uh, Sam, hi. We need to borrow your space-time continum machine." Teela said.

"But Teela, you beautiful-" Sam tried to explain.

"Yes, yes, we all got that. Now, can we borrow your Flux Capacitator?" Teela cut in.

"Flux what now?"

"You never were good with names, or referenes. Your Space-Time Continum device."

"Sure, sure, why not. Are we going back to before-"

"No. Just no. We're trying to rescue a friend."

"Yes, our friend Ebonezer vanished in some smoke, if i remember correctly." The Big Guy spoke up.

"You're still here?" Kat asked.

"Yes, I've just been quiet."

"Wow. Well, anyway."

While this side conversation was happening, Sam was looking at his machine forlornly. "I don't know if I can help you."

"What?! You know you can! I know you can!" Teela looked shocked and suspicious.

"Not necessarily, you see, I've never tried this machine out with smoke-related disappearences."

"You-you-God!-okay. You can make up your own insult. So, why was it not tested on smoke?"

"It's a very funny story, and it started when-"

Tash leaned towards T.J. and said "I think we're going into flashback mode..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, August 30, 2004 4:13 PM

The landscape of the lab around them became all wavy, as Sam began speaking, "It was the summer of 2003, and all my buddies from the Star Trek Socity of Futuristic Science, Technology and Shoes. We were having a pancake breakfast on the beach to celibrate the unveiling of my new maciene..."

The landscape came into focus again, reveiling a long string of tables, mostly empty, and a large something with a big red cloth drapped over it.

A slightly older looking Sam stood in front of it.

("That was before the face lift" Sam whispered to Teela, "Do you like me now?"

"Sure..." Teela mumbled.)

Old/young Sam was talking, "...which in theory, should turn old socks into bannanas. Any questions?"

There were none.

"Good, And so, gentelmen, i reveal to you-will someone please stop that screaming?"

They looked over to see a girl, stark naked, running from a book.

"No, no, I was wrong," Tash said, "This is better then the stippers AND the money. Can we keep her?"

"And thats why it never got tested," Sam said, and the wavinss broght them back to the lab. "My peers were too distracted by her to take any notice of my invention. A curse on their children. It should work though. We'll just use a flash of light instead of a poof of smoke. All we need is the co-ordanenets to where you're freind is."

"Now were the hell are we gonna find those," Tash asked.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004 5:13 PM

"Well, usuallly you map out the space-time continum, then do a lot research. It takes, oh, aroud a centruy to do." Sam told Tash.

"We have, um, not a lot of time." Tash said.

All of a sudden, grains of sand appeared through a cloud of smoke in the form of coördinates which read:

"EBO IS AT 4224 LANE, RUNNING TOWARDS 4225 DRIVE."

The smoke disappeared along with the sand.

"Well, that was interesting." said the Big Guy.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, September 6, 2004 4:06 PM

Oh crap is it my turn?

I'm loosing interest, my heart just isn't in it anymore.

I think we need to do one about the crew of Serenity - pre Mal and Company. (he bought it used remember?)

Crazy fun.

Also, i've been talking to Tash and he's completly lost, and his (slightly stoned) input is always interesting. (ok, so he's really stoned, but thats not the point)
--------------------------

Anyhoo...

"Cool!" Tash said, getting into the maciene, "I've always wanted to do this."

The rest crammed into the small space with him.

"You know what we could do while we're in here?"

"No tash!"

The macine starting whirring and buzzing and soon they foun themselves at the co-orandanents.

"Well, were here, but where's Ebo?"

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Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Monday, September 6, 2004 4:52 PM

Yeah, that happens. Loosing interest.
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"Maybe that screaming figure can help us." The Big Guy said. "Excuse me! Excuse me!"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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Monday, September 6, 2004 5:45 PM

crap, its my turn again. Damn you and your puctuality!
------------------------------------------
The screaming figure wasn't listing. It was too busy screaming.

"Well what the hell?"

They turned around and saw....

-----
(he he, notice me not doing any actuall story. Lets just give up. Tash is gonna make us a new one)

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Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

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Tuesday, September 7, 2004 12:25 PM

Alrighty, here's a very quick ending.
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Tash. Well, a form of Tash. With a body. He comes up and says to the crew.

"Time to end this."

"What?" siad Sam. "But I've just been introduced in this story. Well, in appearence, I mean. I've been mentioned for a while."

"Yeah, there's lots to do!" Kat said.

"Sorry, but it's going to slow. Too slow. Nothing much more to say."

"Darn. So, how do we end?" Teela asked.

"Ask Ebo. Not screaming Ebo, the person over there."
____
I'm evil, aren't I?

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of the delete key.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, September 7, 2004 2:30 PM