Attention: Neo-Coli Outbreak! by misbehaven

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Attention: Neo-Coli Outbreak!

POSTED BY: MISBEHAVEN
UPDATED: Tuesday, October 3, 2006 17:44
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VIEWED: 924
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Saturday, September 30, 2006 1:42 PM

OUTBREAK OF NEO-COLI THREATENS THE WORLD
By Don Davis

While recent news reports have focused on the problems with spinach infected by E. Coli, the World Health Organization has issued an urgent alert, warning of the grave dangers posed by an outbreak of Neo-Coli — the shorthand name for “Neo-Con Lies and World Domination.”

Unlike E. Coli, a food-borne illness which originates on farms, the Neo-Coli bacteria is considered a skewed-based disease, and emanates from chicken-hawks who usually occupy a large white house or pentagonal-shaped building. However, what both strains have in common is their core component: manure.

Also known as Cheneybacterius, or Bushococcus:43, the Neo-Coli bacteria is much more dangerous than E. Coli, which usually causes only limited fatalities. Neo-Coli is particularly rampant in the Middle East, and causes massive cases of Die-arrhea, abdominal clamps, and the spread of Shiite-itis.

While E. Coli typically affects products like spinach, Neo-Coli depends for its survival on “Spin-ish.” Also, unlike most products infected with E. Coli, which are inadvertently ingested, Neo-Coli is invariably shoved down the victim’s throat.

A spokesperson at the Center for Disease Control also emphasized that while those infected with E. Coli can always be treated with antibiotics, there is no similar remedy for Neo-Coli, which stubbornly stays its course, and appears resistant to a body-politic’s immune system of checks and balances.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-Hunter S. Thompson

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Saturday, September 30, 2006 2:06 PM

ANTIMASON

wow.. this sounds really bad! i thought it was bird flu that would do us all in.. but now this?? i hope the governments working on a vaccine for it already..

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 2:18 PM

JONNYQUEST

"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

"If one of them have it then ten of them will have it and if one of them leave Crawford Texas then we're in deep

ing

... we're already in deep

ing

!"

"Well, here I am."

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:44 PM

ANTIMASON

LOL nice visuals... ya gotta love the concentration camp/martial law, enforced curfew kind of terror atmosphere of the whole thing; the irony is its less the virus and more the ensuing police state. its good to know though that our governments are now prepared for these kind of scenarios; especially with the new anti-terror/detainee legistlation(well..except that dissidents become terrorists). so.. lets just cross our fingers and hope that no disasters happen here!!!!otherwise!! were !F@cked!!!

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