Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants by Succatash

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Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants

POSTED BY: SUCCATASH
UPDATED: Thursday, December 21, 2006 17:13
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VIEWED: 3133
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Friday, October 13, 2006 12:46 PM

LOL!!

Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061013/od_nm/marijuana_dc

Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet-high marijuana plants.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said on Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices ... and as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

Even successful incineration had its drawbacks.

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those (forests) did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.

One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."

"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."

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Friday, October 13, 2006 12:53 PM

SUCCATASH

Ok, the soldiers camouflaged their vehicle with weed, and got high trying to burn it. That's so awesome.

"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."

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Friday, October 13, 2006 12:58 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

Private: Seriously Dude.... Seriously... is that bin Laden? No, no, no.... right there... I am not kidding... it's him for real.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 1:31 PM

CITIZEN

Woah, I am so... High... Right now...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 1:48 PM

SERYN

munchies, need snickers bars....

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Friday, October 13, 2006 1:56 PM

CITIZEN

...And all they gave us are these damn MRE's...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:00 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

WE NEED TO GET .. past .... these ......................

......... You hungry? Got any MRE's?

When soldiers --- rugged soldiers --- the size of whales ....

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:00 PM

MISBEHAVEN

10-foot tall marijuana plants! Marijuana forests! Where do I enlist?

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-Hunter S. Thompson

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:07 PM

STINKINGROSE

Could they use a corn field combine or something to harvest .. I mean level.. the plants? It would make amazing mulch on the poppy fields. Or they could set it aside until it was dry and more combustible.
It's a heckuva way to pacify the locals, I'd bet.

Has anyone considered consulting with US municipal authorities to see how they take care of confiscated pot patches? Oregon and California spring to mind as good places to start looking for recommendations.

So, who had the bright idea to try lighting the fire on the drier plants?

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:08 PM

CITIZEN

Do you think it's anything like the Day of the Triffids? But instead of everyone being blind they're just sitting there buried under snack food wrappings and trying to reach the fridge without moving.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:16 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

This Just in....

They're hostin' the next Bonnaroo there.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:31 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

(A reporter in khaki wear, standing in a field of bushes, which are on fire. Smoke is everywhere and it is hard to see much of anything else.)

REPORTER: And so, after weeks of painstakingly searching this rugged area the size of Wales, finally some kind of reward, as behind me these soldiers gather and burn huge piles of coca leaves and marijuana. The drug barons themselves [starts trailing off]
... may have escaped the net this time ...

[very slowly now] but their evil wares ...

have not. And...

[long pause, then aside to cameraman] and I think you better cut that, Jerry.

[Brief static, back to scene]

REPORTER: Behind me, smoke, soldiers burning drugs...

er... soldiers...

behind me... behind me, soldiers...

rugged soldiers, the size of Wales...

burning drugs. Painstakingly.

[Brief static, back to scene]

(REPORTER tries to collect himself, then goes taut to deliver.)

REPORTER: Behind me, painstaking barons burning leave drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets. [goes lax] Urrrgh! Woo! All right, that's the one, Jerry. Hey! Let's go for a curry.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 2:37 PM

MISBEHAVEN

If you're going to be overrun by ambulatory plants, then that's a good one to have coming after you.

It never got weird enough for me.
-Hunter S. Thompson

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Friday, October 13, 2006 3:33 PM

SUCCATASH

Canada. No other nation is better trained for this situation.

"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."

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Friday, October 13, 2006 3:43 PM

GINOBIFFARONI

Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:
Canada. No other nation is better trained for this situation.

"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."

Hell, what they didn't say is that the " forest " of pot was outback of the Canadian base...

I wonder who planted it ????

http://www.trailerparkboys.com/

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Friday, October 13, 2006 3:59 PM

SUCCATASH

This actually might be a clever plan of terrorists disguised as Evil Hippies.

Oh shit, too late - their evil plan has worked! It has spread to America....

God help us all.

"Gott kann dich nicht vor mir beschuetzen, weil ich nicht boese bin."

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Friday, October 13, 2006 5:12 PM

YINYANG

You were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
(A reporter in khaki wear, standing in a field of bushes, which are on fire. Smoke is everywhere and it is hard to see much of anything else.)

REPORTER: And so, after weeks of painstakingly searching this rugged area the size of Wales, finally some kind of reward, as behind me these soldiers gather and burn huge piles of coca leaves and marijuana. The drug barons themselves [starts trailing off]
... may have escaped the net this time ...

[very slowly now] but their evil wares ...

have not. And...

[long pause, then aside to cameraman] and I think you better cut that, Jerry.

[Brief static, back to scene]

REPORTER: Behind me, smoke, soldiers burning drugs...

er... soldiers...

behind me... behind me, soldiers...

rugged soldiers, the size of Wales...

burning drugs. Painstakingly.

[Brief static, back to scene]

(REPORTER tries to collect himself, then goes taut to deliver.)

REPORTER: Behind me, painstaking barons burning leave drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets. [goes lax] Urrrgh! Woo! All right, that's the one, Jerry. Hey! Let's go for a curry.

ROFL!

Thanks, rue. I needed that.

---
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love - it's the only thing that there's just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone."

Trouble-Maker in the House!

http://richlabonte.net/tvvote

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Friday, October 13, 2006 5:31 PM

DREAMTROVE

Quote:

Private: Seriously Dude.... Seriously... is that bin Laden? No, no, no.... right there... I am not kidding... it's him for real.

ROFL

Sargeant,

Did you find Bin Laden?

Yes Sir.

Did you secure his capture?

Well, um, no, we didn't, sir.

Did you kill Bin Laden?

Not exactly sir.

Well what exactly do you have to report?

Well, sir, Mr. Bin Laden has a killer bong, sir.

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Friday, October 13, 2006 5:36 PM

YINYANG

You were busy trying to get yourself lit on fire. It happens.

Quote:
Originally posted by dreamtrove:
Well what exactly do you have to report?

Well, sir, Mr. Bin Laden has a killer bong, sir.

::snickers and giggles::

---
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love - it's the only thing that there's just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone."

Trouble-Maker in the House!

http://richlabonte.net/tvvote

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Saturday, October 14, 2006 1:18 AM

CITIZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
(A reporter in khaki wear, standing in a field of bushes, which are on fire. Smoke is everywhere and it is hard to see much of anything else.)

REPORTER: And so, after weeks of painstakingly searching this rugged area the size of Wales, finally some kind of reward, as behind me these soldiers gather and burn huge piles of coca leaves and marijuana. The drug barons themselves [starts trailing off]
... may have escaped the net this time ...

[very slowly now] but their evil wares ...

have not. And...

[long pause, then aside to cameraman] and I think you better cut that, Jerry.

[Brief static, back to scene]

REPORTER: Behind me, smoke, soldiers burning drugs...

er... soldiers...

behind me... behind me, soldiers...

rugged soldiers, the size of Wales...

burning drugs. Painstakingly.

[Brief static, back to scene]

(REPORTER tries to collect himself, then goes taut to deliver.)

REPORTER: Behind me, painstaking barons burning leave drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets. [goes lax] Urrrgh! Woo! All right, that's the one, Jerry. Hey! Let's go for a curry.

I doubt you've seen it, but a comedy show over here about a news station called Drop The Dead Donkey had a scene near identical to this, Damien Day one of the field reporters was doing a report on troops burning Canabis, it went much the same way.

I'll look for a video of it, but if you go to the following site:
http://www.hattrick.com/
shows->comedy->drop the dead donkey there's a video snapshot of Damien Day in action.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

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Saturday, October 14, 2006 2:48 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

saw this story on CNN. I was gonna post it here, but y'all beat me to it.

I wondered if they were gonna fight it with flame-throwers...

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Saturday, October 14, 2006 3:32 PM

MISSTRESSAHARA

Well we are known as the laid back country everyone likes.

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 9:22 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061220/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/mexico_drugs
LAZARO CARDENAS, Mexico - Soldiers trying to seize control of one Mexico's top drug-producing regions found the countryside teeming with a new hybrid marijuana plant that can be cultivated year-round and cannot be killed with pesticides.

"These plants have been genetically improved," army Gen. Manuel Garcia told a handful of journalists allowed to accompany soldiers on a daylong raid of some 70 marijuana fields. "Before we could cut the plant and destroy it, but this plant will come back to life unless it's taken out by the roots."

The new plants, known as "Colombians," mature in about two months and can be planted at any time of year, meaning authorities will no longer be able to time raids to coincide with twice-yearly harvests
--------------------
Apparently these are midget zombie plants that can rise from the dead.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 11:56 AM

STORYMARK

How about this: Round up all those huge MJ plants, drop them all around Baghdad, and lite 'em. That should mellow everyone out a little at least....

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 12:12 PM

CITIZEN

Or make them all paranoid...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 1:41 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Oh, I just wanted to say that the new improved marijuana seems to be really hardy and grow like a ... ahem ... weed ...

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 2:26 PM

SOUPCATCHER

That photo that was included with the new article is just begging for a TCM caption contest

.

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/061220/481/moms10412200305

Here's my submissions:

"Dude! Ixnay on the ameracay."

Or,

"Hey everyone. My brother has offered to destroy all these plants in his incinerator. Follow me!"

Or,

"High adoption rate for new Mexican Army pension plan."

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 2:50 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ......

LMAOROTF

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 3:07 PM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?

I watched this video on PBS (UNC-TV)
http://www.tinroofvideo.com/ excellent

It goes through a lot of what we have heard of the history of weed in the US, but is more in depth than any I have seen. It focuses more on the "whys" than "highs".

ooo captions...

Just say Whoa!

or

Hernandez had just the idea for the world’s largest brownie contest.

or

*whistling* All I want for Christmas is my.... uhhhh uhhhh.... damn, you know... the white things.

latest vid

the lyrics http://www.greenplastic.com/lyrics/lucky.php

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 3:32 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Not a caption, a voice-over, in a cultured male British voice:

Behind me soldiers ... rugged soldiers, the size of Wales ....

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006 3:37 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

the, uhhh, fire is - what? On the fire, OK. What? Oh, yeah, right, on the fire ... uhhhh, let me think ...

or

Hoping no one would notice, Sanchez takes a little something for Friday night.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 3:24 AM

CYBERSNARK

"Lee's attempt at camouflage proved to need more work."

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 4:04 AM

HERO

Quote:
Originally posted by stinkingrose:
Has anyone considered consulting with US municipal authorities to see how they take care of confiscated pot patches?

I think I can speak for all the municipal authorities when I say:

THEY BURN REAL GOOD.

H

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 6:13 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants

So... who won?

heh heh heh

BTW- Here's the "soldiers big as Wales video":

---------------------------------
Reality sucks. Especially when it contradicts our cherished ideas.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006 5:13 PM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!

Troops battle 10-foot marijuana plants

So... who won?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Ha ha ha ha ha ... what ... ?

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