REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Offensive one-liners Obama forgot to use!

POSTED BY: SKYWALKEN
UPDATED: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 08:12
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Friday, March 20, 2009 5:18 AM

SKYWALKEN


http://jimtreacher.com/archives/002035.html

* "Thanks for having me on the show, Jay. You seem like a pretty nice guy for an Italian. [Tony Soprano impersonation] Ayyyy! Fuggetaboutit!"

* "Kevin Eubanks, how are ya, man? Is Jay letting you come in through the front entrance yet? No? It's okay, I do the same thing to Biden."

* "I stopped by Hollywood earlier. Or as I call it, Little Israel. I dropped a penny on the sidewalk and lost 3 Secret Service guys."

* "You think being the first black president is easy? Every time I leave the White House, Secret Service checks my pockets for silverware."

* "Yeah, John McCain and I get along. Although he always freezes me out when I try to give him a high five! [audience groans] What, too soon?"

* "Sarah Palin and I don't talk much, 'cause I don't speak Tardese. 'Doy! Durr! Look at my dumb baby!' [audience member boos] Oh, lighten up."

* "Ya know, I thought about picking a female VP too. But I've already got somebody to clean my house and fetch me beers! Am I right, fellas?"

* "Any Irish folks in the audience? Don't raise your hand, you might spill your drink. 'When Oirish oys are smilin'...'" [staggers, pretends to vomit]

* "Another great thing about LA is all the fags. [audience hisses] OK, OK, Faggot-Americans. Hey, I got no problem with it. After all, I did hire Rahm Emmanuel!"

* "You know what cracks me up? Chinese people. [sticks front teeth over bottom lip and pushes back corners of eyes] 'Herro, Mistel Plesident!'"

* "People ask what scares me most. Iran? The economy? Try: Waking up every morning next to She-Hulk! Oh, I'm gonna get it when I come home."

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Friday, March 20, 2009 5:46 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.


Oh goody. Tagging Obama with what he DIDN'T say???

But it IS kinda funny!
---------------------------------
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

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Friday, March 20, 2009 5:59 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!


Looks under desk ... now where could those WMDS be ?

Brandishes bandaid on finger to military at the VA who've lost limbs, brain parts - I got a brush clearing wound.

Heckuv a job, Brownie !

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Friday, March 20, 2009 6:27 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by SignyM:
Oh goody. Tagging Obama with what he DIDN'T say???

But it IS kinda funny!


Or, if you're Geezer, putting words in his mouth and then being "offended". Wasn't that what he accused you of?


Here's one you didn't hear Obama say:

"Meagan McCain is a plus-size model who talks like a valley girl!"

'Cause if Obama had said THAT, it would have been REALLY offensive...

Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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Friday, March 20, 2009 9:15 PM

FREMDFIRMA


Quote:
"You think being the first black president is easy? Every time I leave the White House, Secret Service checks my pockets for silverware."

Sad that it is, that one's actually funny!

-F

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Saturday, March 21, 2009 6:59 PM

OPPYH


The special Olympics deserves to be mocked. Have you ever seen a Special Olympics event?
It's quite pathetic to watch.

Good for Obama. I respect his honesty on the subject. It's so refreshing to have a president that says what he means.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 1:46 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


But she does talk like a valley girl, and I do believe Meghan has even mentioned her weight before, but that wasn't what the joke was about anyways. But continue to distort and spin. It's what you do.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 2:20 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
AuLapdog wrote:

But she does talk like a valley girl, and I do believe Meghan has even mentioned her weight before, but that wasn't what the joke was about anyways. But continue to distort and spin. It's what you do.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.


Ironic much, Lapdog?

Here's the FULL quote from Coach K, without your distortion and spin:

"Somebody said that, you know, we're not in President Obama's Final Four, you know. And as much as I respect what he's doing, really, you know, the economy is something that he should focus on, you know, probably more than the brackets. And -- so why would I care about that? I love the guy, and I think he's gonna be great. But -- I love the fact that so many people are filling them out because the game is growing so much."
- Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski


Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 4:29 AM

WHOZIT


After the show they should have checked Leno's tie for some of Barry's DNA......get it?

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 4:37 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Coach K clearly caught himself and just added that last part to try to cover his ass. He said what he said and meant that the Prez BO should do what he was sent to D.C. for in the first place, and not bother himself by discounting Duke so easily.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 5:34 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Coach K clearly caught himself and just added that last part to try to cover his ass. He said what he said and meant that the Prez BO should do what he was sent to D.C. for in the first place, and not bother himself by discounting Duke so easily.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.



[sarcasm]CLEARLY[/sarcasm]

Yet another brilliant RapFact™! Now he's able to see into people's hearts and minds and tell what they REALLY meant when they said something! Rap has the power to divine which parts of someone's words they meant, and which they didn't!

It's brilliant! It's utter and complete cRAP!



Keeping this around, just to annoy the piss out of you:

"Somebody said that, you know, we're not in President Obama's Final Four, you know. And as much as I respect what he's doing, really, you know, the economy is something that he should focus on, you know, probably more than the brackets. And -- so why would I care about that? I love the guy, and I think he's gonna be great. But -- I love the fact that so many people are filling them out because the game is growing so much."
- Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski


Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 8:55 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Hey, keep making yourself look like a complete ass. No big deal to me. Just look at what Coach K says, and then how he abruptly changes his tone, after he's realized he's dared to question the Great O.

He correctly points out that the President should concern himself more w/ running the country than wasting time doing brackets, then follows up w/ " hey , I love the guy, really! " , to which he ends w/ a non sequitur of how it's great that the big dance is even more popular. Yeah, what ever.

Coaches aren't use to having to explain themselves to anyone, especially if they're one of Bob Knight's disciples.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009 8:23 PM

OPPYH


It's funny. The president fucks up intentionally speaking ill of mentally challenged people. and all those who worship him like a golden calf on this site are suddenly silent. Imagine that. The president is what every one with half a brain could see from the get go: An arrogant, asshole elitist.
He and Biden were made for each other. God help this country.

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Monday, March 23, 2009 12:01 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Quote:
Originally posted by OPPYH:
It's funny. The president fucks up intentionally speaking ill of mentally challenged people. and all those who worship him like a golden calf on this site are suddenly silent. Imagine that. The president is what every one with half a brain could see from the get go: An arrogant, asshole elitist.
He and Biden were made for each other. God help this country.


Oh, hey, but he apologized as soon as he got back on AF 1, don't you understand? While he was flying all the way back across country, burning up more fossil fuel in that one trip to appear on the Leno show than most folks will use in their entire lives. Yeah, he called the head of the Special Olympics, and made it all better.



"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Monday, March 23, 2009 6:12 AM

OPPYH


Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:

Oh, hey, but he apologized as soon as he got back on AF 1, don't you understand? While he was flying all the way back across country, burning up more fossil fuel in that one trip to appear on the Leno show than most folks will use in their entire lives. Yeah, he called the head of the Special Olympics, and made it all better.







Kind of waiting for Obama to host Inside edition or, be a guest judge on American Idol. After all if you don't have your popularity, what do you have?

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Monday, March 23, 2009 7:09 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


At least when Clinton appeared on Arsenio, it was while he was a candidate, and not on the tax payer's dime.





"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Monday, March 23, 2009 7:24 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by OPPYH:
Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:

Oh, hey, but he apologized as soon as he got back on AF 1, don't you understand? While he was flying all the way back across country, burning up more fossil fuel in that one trip to appear on the Leno show than most folks will use in their entire lives. Yeah, he called the head of the Special Olympics, and made it all better.







Kind of waiting for Obama to host Inside edition or, be a guest judge on American Idol. After all if you don't have your popularity, what do you have?


Didn't Bushie already appear on American Idol?

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Monday, March 23, 2009 7:53 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:

Didn't Bushie already appear on American Idol?


No.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Monday, March 23, 2009 8:16 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


double

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Monday, March 23, 2009 8:21 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:

Didn't Bushie already appear on American Idol?


No.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.


Are you sure?

http://www.huliq.com/20520/george-and-laura-bush-thank-american-idol-f
or-raising-70-million-dollars-for-charity

Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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Monday, March 23, 2009 8:49 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Quote:
"We thank 'American Idol' viewers who have shown the good heart of America," the president said, in a taped appearance. "


Yep, pretty darn sure. I never watch the show, so I figured I'd had heard if the President appeared in studio. He didn't, as I suspected.

"As much as I respect what he's doing, really the economy is something he should focus on more than the brackets. "
- Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, after Obama snubbed Duke in his Final Four picks.



The U.S. economy WAS on fire under Bush, for 6 years. Until the Democrats took control of Congress. It's been all down hill since then.

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Monday, March 23, 2009 11:04 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Can you show me again where I said he was "in studio"? I implied that he appeared on the show, in an effort to bolster his popularity. And he did, but it didn't.



Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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Monday, March 23, 2009 5:31 PM

OPPYH


Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Can you show me again where I said he was "in studio"? I implied that he appeared on the show, in an effort to bolster his popularity. And he did, but it didn't.



Mike



A taped "thank you" for charity is quite different than going on Leno and taking a dig at an event for the mentally challenged/physically impaired.
One event that gives these people hope was made a mockery by your president.

Anything else you want to add?


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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:49 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by OPPYH:
Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Can you show me again where I said he was "in studio"? I implied that he appeared on the show, in an effort to bolster his popularity. And he did, but it didn't.



Mike



A taped "thank you" for charity is quite different than going on Leno and taking a dig at an event for the mentally challenged/physically impaired.
One event that gives these people hope was made a mockery by your president.

Anything else you want to add?



Anything to add? Yes; he's YOUR president, too - at least if you're an American, he is.

And while his "joke" was a bone-headed mistake, I'm hoping it will have some positive outcome. It's put the Special Olympics in the limelight, hasn't it? It's gotten Republicans defending the Special Olympics; who knows, maybe they'll even get some extra funding out of it! None of this is likely to have happened if Obama had ASKED us to support Special Olympics - no, that would have been immediately opposed by the right as "pork" spending.

So yeah, he fucked up. But I bet the Special Olympics is going to come out ahead because of it.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 2:20 AM

BIGDAMNNOBODY


Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Anything to add? Yes; he's YOUR president, too - at least if you're an American, he is.

And while his "joke" was a bone-headed mistake, I'm hoping it will have some positive outcome. It's put the Special Olympics in the limelight, hasn't it? It's gotten Republicans defending the Special Olympics; who knows, maybe they'll even get some extra funding out of it! None of this is likely to have happened if Obama had ASKED us to support Special Olympics - no, that would have been immediately opposed by the right as "pork" spending.

So yeah, he fucked up. But I bet the Special Olympics is going to come out ahead because of it.

Cool!
He should come out with the battered women jokes next. Or maybe he should tell his 'I kicked the puppy' story.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 3:39 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Or maybe he should make fun of women on death row, mocking them... "Don't kill me! Please don't kill me!"

Or would that be too crass?

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:19 AM

BIGDAMNNOBODY


If you are not on Obama's staff you should be with spin like that.
I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no... wait...

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:01 AM

FREMDFIRMA


What does he need staff for, when over 50% of america is rabidly pissed at the outgoing administration.

It's gonna take a long, LONG time to scrape that much shit off the GOP and apply a new layer of frosting to the turd.

And if I have *my* way, that's gonna be... never.

Have faith though, the faster the Republicans go down for the count and stay there, the faster I can do the same damn thing to the Democrats.

Ever ponder maybe tossing some banana peels yourself to speed the process, hmm ?

-F

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009 8:12 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:
Originally posted by BigDamnNobody:
If you are not on Obama's staff you should be with spin like that.
I see no evil, I hear no evil, I speak no... wait...



I'll take that as a compliment.

And what makes you think I'm NOT on Obama's staff? Hmmmm?



(Hey, you always knew we were watching you, right?)



[By the way, that was a JOKE!]

Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...



The "On Fire" Economy -
The Dow closed at 10,587.60 on January 20, 2001, the day GW Bush took office. Eight years later, it closed below 8000 on the day he left office - a net loss of 25%. That's what conservatives call an economic "success".

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