Trouble by Wulfenstar

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

My part-Asian wife adds this (shes good with a blade, not as good as I am, but still)...

We are kind of at a loss. Hot blooded individuals as we are, we need advices.

ETA: We are looking at Krav (my favorite)... but that only teaches her to be brutal.

She needs to be well rounded.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, March 30, 2012 12:16 PM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Yeah, this terrifys some people.

But my baby girl will be able to protect herself, and not need anyone.

But socialization? Hell, I have no clue.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, March 30, 2012 12:28 PM

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

Quote:
and the other half hot-blooded hispanic... she will need training. To control her wilder impulses, and to be more socialised.

First of all, I shake my head at you here. Stereotype much?

Now on to more important things. Social skills are vastly more important than fighting skills. With good social skills, the necessity of fighting becomes a rare event. The sort of thing you can count on your fingers over the course of a lifetime.

I would begin by not programming the child with any of your foolish preconceptions about other ethnicities and races.

Then I would make sure the child understands the value of a smile, and of the words please and thank you. (Such words can move people who can't be touched by fist, foot, or sword.)

I would teach her that avoiding a fight is preferable to engaging in one, and that violence is the last resort, and a tool grasped only to survive failure. There is no victory or honor in combat. Only survival.

She should be taught to help people whenever she can, love people as much as she can, and be courteous even to people she doesn't like.

That last part is the hardest.

--Anthony

_______________________________________________

Note to self: Mr. Raptor believes that women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.

Reference thread: http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=51196

Never forget what this man is. You keep forgiving him his trespasses and speak to him as though he is a reasonable human being. You keep forgetting the things he's advocated. If you respond to this man again, you are being foolish.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, March 30, 2012 12:33 PM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Unfortunately Anthony,

This world is not a nice place. Its full of evil people... ugly, horrible, lying, people.

She needs to be able to defend herself, first.

The rest can come after.

But what is the rest? She might be able to quote Shakespeare, or Sun-Tzu... but how does that get her a date in this world?

I'll take care of making sure she is safe. Knife and gun control as needed. But being able to talk to the rest of the somnabulant sheep? I have no experience. Yet I know she will need it, as a life skill if nothing else.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 31, 2012 12:01 PM

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:
But being able to talk to the rest of the somnabulant sheep? I have no experience.

I'd have never guessed!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 31, 2012 12:36 PM

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:

This world is not a nice place. Its full of evil people... ugly, horrible, lying, people.

Hello,

You might also teach her that if she sees only evil everywhere she goes, then evil is all she will ever know.

Don't condemn her to your darkness.

--Anthony

_______________________________________________

Note to self: Mr. Raptor believes that women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.

Reference thread: http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=51196

Never forget what this man is. You keep forgiving him his trespasses and speak to him as though he is a reasonable human being. You keep forgetting the things he's advocated. If you respond to this man again, you are being foolish.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, March 31, 2012 1:17 PM

HKCAVALIER

Real People Skills in three simple (but not easy) steps:

The three things you need to learn to do at will, and with absolute sincerity:

1.) Ask for help when you need it.

2.) Thank others when they help you.

3.) Apologize when you let other people down.

Without all three of these skills in heavy rotation in your life, you will remain isolated, misunderstood and resentful.

Now, the most important piece to remember in this when dealing with children: There is only one way to teach these principles to your child:

BY EXAMPLE.

If you have not mastered these three skills, your child will NEVER learn them from you; she'll have to wait until she's a grown woman and free of you to learn these three skills, if at all.

Hectoring children night and day to "thank your grandmother" and "apologize to your little brother" will only make them feel isolated, misunderstood and resentful.

That's really all you need to know, Wulf. I wish you and your daughter every break this world has to give. You deserve it.

HKCavalier

Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 1, 2012 8:39 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I don't believe that ethnicity determines temperment, there are calm and fiery people by nature wherever you go. However what a child sees from his or her parents does do a lot to determine how they view the world, handle disputes etc, this is why some traits are seen as ethnically based, because sometimes they are prevellent in certain cultures based on how people are raised generation after generation, so it takes the guise of being an ethnic thing, even though it is a learned cultural behavior, not to mention that even that viewpoint isn't fool proof because there are all sorts of people all over the place.

Make sure you guys model how you want her to behave, its the best way to impart things to her, children look to their parents as their first role models, also to their older siblings, but she's your first so that's not part of the equation.

Socially, make sure she play with other kids right from the start, one of the most important things a person can learn in this world is how to be with others and have meaningful relationships of varying sorts. So make sure she plays with other kids a lot, play groups when she's a baby, the neighbor kids and schoolmates as she gets older.

Once she's old enough you guys could put her in martial arts, it can be really good for lots of kids.

It sounds like you feel you didn't have the kind of childhood experiences you want Inara to have, so because you see that you can take extra care to do what you feel is right, possibly different than what your parents did if that's what you feel is right.

I assume you're my pal until you let me know otherwise. "A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 1, 2012 9:05 PM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Dont make me watch a whole lot of Youtube stuff just to get your point across. What training are you intending on giving her? Say the WORDS wulf. WORDS. Incidentally, one of the best skills you can give your daughter is how to speak coherently, and to be able to name feelings and concepts in particular. When she is little and pointing and having a tantrum, help her to name what she needs.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 1, 2012 9:10 PM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
Unfortunately Anthony,

This world is not a nice place. Its full of evil people... ugly, horrible, lying, people.

She needs to be able to defend herself, first.

The rest can come after.

But what is the rest? She might be able to quote Shakespeare, or Sun-Tzu... but how does that get her a date in this world?

I'll take care of making sure she is safe. Knife and gun control as needed. But being able to talk to the rest of the somnabulant sheep? I have no experience. Yet I know she will need it, as a life skill if nothing else.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

Hmmm, how to raise a sociopath?

She needs to learn how to be loved first and foremost, that her needs will be taken care of and that you will keep her safe. Otherwise, buddy, the neurons won't connect, and you'll have yourself a dysfunctional little knife weilding nikita on a fast track to jail.
If you teach her that the world is an unsafe place, she will be unable to trust and form relationships. Wouldn't it be better to teach her how to work out who to trust in the world?
I dunno, I think you should do some reading or classes before she arrives in the world.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, April 1, 2012 11:34 PM

AGENTROUKA

I agree: teaching her how to properly communicate and to feel safe and protected and respected with her parents is the most important thing.

Judgment is important, but so is trust. If you teach your little girl to be afraid of the world and in constant need of self-defense, she will have a hard time finding joy or happiness. She will just be afraid.

The most impressive thing I learned watching my younger half-sister be raised is the respect and communication and mutual decision-making that took place. As soon as the short stuff was able to comprehend something, she was part of a process of communication. She got to make choices. Even if it was something as simple as what color socks or carrots vs. peas. And the constant explaining of why something was happening. Why she had to get dressed, why she had to wait, etc. And helping her talk through her own feelings.

And the word no. Not to her, but from her. If she said no to something, it was respected, or it became a subject of discussion and there was lots of explaining involved. I highly respect her mother for teaching my little sister that sense of her own importance as a person.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 3:36 AM

WISHIMAY

I think what Wulf is trying to say is he hopes she has a fighting spirit. Not ACTUALLY fighting, because most schools kinda frown on that...

Maybe he'll figure out that little girls like Barney and Spongebob and hugs and playparks and not try to enforce his ideal of what she should be and like and do and NOT try to pin every weighty hope on a fragile being...

It's up to her to imagine what she could be, it's just your job to assist...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 4:22 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
I'm going to have a daughter.

Yet, I realize that teaching her to be in control is not all there is. Besides the amounts of literature she will need to read, and the music she will need to learn... what else is there?

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 5:40 AM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I agree with Magons, and Agent. But as for classes or books...I think that's a lost cause. As I've said before, I weep for the sake of that child, if Wulf is serious. And not someone's sockpuppet. Notice how he ASKED for help, but has rejected most of the good advice. I hope to gawd he doesn't "create" someone like himself, poor thing.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 7:13 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

The idea here is that there are things I believe she needs to know. And there are things I believe she should learn, but don't know them myself.

Little history lesson: My parents believed in reading. Like, reading everything. I grew up reading everything I could get my hands on, from Dostoyevsky to Stephen King.

It was just a thing I was pushed hard on. Then there was music, and later... movies.

However, my parents were also drunk, intellectual, liberal, hippies.

And it was in this inebriated, arrogant, "wisdom" that they thought it a great idea to dump us in a cheap neighborhood. After all, cheap housing, and we could "all get along".

lol.

The first beating I took, I was told to "turn the other cheek". The next? "Tell an adult". The third? "Run away". The fourth? I just started cleaning up before I went home.

My parents died young, based mostly on their lifestyle. Too much drinking, too much smoking.

When it progressed from beatings, to stabbing, to shooting, I guess I got cold and tired.

So my question is, I understand that there is an experience larger than my own, a world bigger than I have seen. I have trouble operating in it.

But I don't want that for my daughter. I want her to have the benefits of my experience, but to function in a world where the skills I will teach her are unnecessary. And where she will need a different set of skills to thrive.

So what are they?

Also, as I've learned the hard way, hippie bullshit doesn't work.

So leave the "talk it out", "report it", "everyone is the same" garbage out.

How do you teach a girl to defend herself, but to also live among people who are the bourgeois?

In effect, to be prom queen in some school, but still be able to beat anyones ass? While also being a kind person?

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 7:45 AM

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

You've been told many valuable things by people here.

You are not interested.

You see only the evils you have known. You hear only the echoes of old voices.

Your request for help is either not genuine, or you are so broken inside that you can not hear the answers.

You sadly speak of things like martial defense and politeness and open-mindedness as though they are some alien oil and water mixture that you need mysterious alchemical skills to combine.

You speak as though treating people as equals and defending yourself against aggression are two opposing philosophies.

You speak of the 'bourgeois' and the 'liberal' and the 'hippie' and you sound to me like a child still railing against your parents.

It's time to grow up and become a whole person. It's time to stop defining yourself by the resentment you feel for your parents.

It's time to be a better you.

That's the secret to raising good children. Because they will watch you while becoming who they are.

--Anthony

_______________________________________________

Note to self: Mr. Raptor believes that women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.

Reference thread: http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=51196

Never forget what this man is. You keep forgiving him his trespasses and speak to him as though he is a reasonable human being. You keep forgetting the things he's advocated. If you respond to this man again, you are being foolish.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 7:54 AM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

First of all Wulfie-child, your child will be herself, not some kind of blend between you and your wife, and you have no way of knowing WHAT kind of child she will be. If our daughter had been born according to her parents, she would be pretty damn smart. Instead, she is brain-damaged. Even my identical twin and I are very different in temperament and skill. What will you do if she's born shy, sensitive, and quiet? What will you do if she's oppositional as all get-out, and refuses any sort of instruction at all? What will you do if she is clumsy, and slow? Be prepared to deal with the child WHO IS BORN, not the child you want to hone into some kind of weapon to carry YOUR life-grudge forward.

As to that... our dad saw more horror in five years of Siberian labor camp than you saw in a lifetime. But he didn't burden us with HIS burdens. In fact, when us girls were little we would stick our fingers in his back like gun, and he would throw up his hands and say "Don't shoot, General!" And laugh. But the fact was that he survived the Katyn Forest massacre, and probably said that... for real... more than once. He TOLD us about his life, but he didn't make us live it.

And what he told us, when we were young, was... I want you to get a good education, something that you can get a job in, so you don't have to be dependent on any man. This, from a guy who was born in 1920. So it IS possible to overcome the horror-show that was your life, and all of your training, and the culture you came from, and give your child something BETTER.

Also, I second was Magons said: Your daughter will need to learn to connect with people. Perhaps you can learn that as well.

Unless you do, I feel very, very sorry for her. She will be living in your limited world.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 8:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
Unfortunately Anthony,

This world is not a nice place. Its full of evil people... ugly, horrible, lying, people.

She needs to be able to defend herself, first.

I pity you, Wulfie. You must live in hell, having never known a decent person or a good day.

Are their evil, ugly, lying people in the world? Yup, there sure are. But if that's all you can see, then you live in a far different world than the one I know.

I've lived in "the 'hood"; I've lived "the life". Even then, bad things and bad people weren't my everyday experience, but something that happened rarely and made quite an impression when they did happen.

Do you judge your whole life and the whole world based on the very few worst experiences you've had?

And would you criticize a black person for having that attitude when it came to the police, judging cops (or white people) by their past experiences with them? Can you blame anyone whose every interaction with authority has been a negative experience, if they tend to be suspicious of said authorities?

Paranoia and suspicion seem to be your default positions; you really should make an effort to see the better angels in people. I tend to be trusting until give a reason not to trust. Maybe you should try it. You might get burned, but I bet you'll gain far more than you'll lose.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 8:04 AM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Wulfie has PTSD, imposed on his childhood. It's a hard thing to overcome, and he needs help with that. He won't get it, of course, because HE feels that HE's the one who sees the world "as it really is", and that everyone else is living in some kind of "fantasy world". Really, I feel very sorry for his child.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 8:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
Hello,

You've been told many valuable things by people here.

You are not interested.

You see only the evils you have known. You hear only the echoes of old voices.

Your request for help is either not genuine, or you are so broken inside that you can not hear the answers.

You sadly speak of things like martial defense and politeness and open-mindedness as though they are some alien oil and water mixture that you need mysterious alchemical skills to combine.

You speak as though treating people as equals and defending yourself against aggression are two opposing philosophies.

You speak of the 'bourgeois' and the 'liberal' and the 'hippie' and you sound to me like a child still railing against your parents.

These are the kinds of things that confirm to me that Wulfie is not exactly a "people person". Railing against "somnambulant sheeple", talking down to people as if it's just a given that everyone else in his world is somehow *less than* Wulfie. He's like that socially retarded boss most of us have had at one point, who rails against his employees, belittling them and haranguing them, and then wonders aloud why company morale is so low and turnover so high.

Quote:

It's time to grow up and become a whole person. It's time to stop defining yourself by the resentment you feel for your parents.

It's time to be a better you.

That's the secret to raising good children. Because they will watch you while becoming who they are.

Wulfie's been given a ton of good advice in this thread, and he belittles everyone here for offering what he seemed to be sincere in asking for.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 9:45 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

"Wulfie's been given a ton of good advice in this thread, and he belittles everyone here for offering what he seemed to be sincere in asking for."

Actually, I'm looking more for Independents advice, not Alliance. If that makes sense.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 10:29 AM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

No, it doesn't make sense. It sounds like you're waiting for advice that matches with what you want to hear. That's not "advice", that's confirmation of what you already think you know.

Son, there are a lot of smart people here who have had experiences both good and bad, many of which would equal or top yours- if this were a contest. EVERYONE here seems to be telling you in one way or another that you're starting off wrong, and yet all you can seem to do is plug your ears and go la-la-la. I can't hear you.

You're not ready for a child. I hope you're ready for her before she's ready for you, and I hope your wife is readier than you are.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 10:47 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Look.

My baby girl will be fine.

I just want her to be able to function in the world that is... different.

Honestly, the only places I'm worried for her would be the NorthEast, CA, Chicago and Austin.

Other than that, she will be well done.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 11:38 AM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

It's really a shame you can't hear all of what's being offered to you, Wulf. A shame for your helpless baby most of all.

Quote:
Also, as I've learned the hard way, hippie bullshit doesn't work.

So leave the "talk it out", "report it", "everyone is the same" garbage out.

How do you teach a girl to defend herself, but to also live among people who are the bourgeois?

In effect, to be prom queen in some school, but still be able to beat anyones ass? While also being a kind person?

I don't know who you think the "bourgeois" ARE exactly. Everyone but you, or something? "Talk it out" isn't bourgeois, and she'll have about a thousand times more experiences which call for decency than she ever will which call for the kind of mentality you espouse.

That's part of why I don't think you're for real. You mentioned having the new baby, and that she'd be able to whop anyone who picked on her, almost immediately. Now you're ostensibly asking for help, yet rejecting it out of hand in a way that totally negates your original request.

If there really is a baby, your attitude is dooming her, period. Do you really want her to grow up thinking everything is bad and black, as you apparently do? Being afraid of everything, thinking she needs to go through life looking for every possible situation in which she'd have to defend herself? Life is FAR more than that; preparing only for that truly does doom her.

Your parents didn't represent "liberals", they were two people and you've let what you experienced of them tar your entire view of life. You won't believe me, but you and she would be far safer, happier and have a far richer life here in California, yet you SAY you fear this place for her. That is so insane it belies any common sense. That's why, in this as so much else, I find it so hard to believe you are who you say you are. And won't you be having a good old laugh reading us all trying to help someone who doesn't even exist. Gawd, I hope she DOESN'T!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 11:59 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Sorry, Niki, I'm as real as can be.

Never tried to hide it.

I really was looking for help here, on how to raise a child outside of what I've learned. Mayhaps I know I'm not the god of all things. Nor do I know all things ever.

I know a few things well, and so will my daughter. But she needs more than I can give her. NOT platitudes and hippie nonsense. But how to actually live outside of what I have experienced.

You will never know this question. Huskies aren't children.

But to raise a young human, in the right way, you need lots of input.

So again... where is the line? Teach them to protect themselves, yes. But to live with everyone? How do you teach them to hit the arterial, and to also wear a dress?

To cut the right line, but to smile when they receive a compliment?

The balance is what I'm looking for. Too far in either direction is loneliness and sadness, as any internet troll could tell you.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 12:29 PM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Quote:
You will never know this question. Huskies aren't children.

That's assinine. You forget; I helped raise my husband's two children, which weren't even MINE. One had severe emotional problems and I loved him, wept for him and dealt with him while Jim hid in his room and drank himself into a stupor, and the other was only ten years younger than I. You haven't even BEGUN to raise a child; giving birth means nothing. It's what you do afterward, and from the sound of it, you haven't even begun to seriously consider what needs doing. I have had years of experience raising a child and have watched that child grow into his forties; you have absolutely none. Your condescencion is offensive and appalling.

If you care about that child at all, TRY to open your mind and LEARN. Read...do something but reject every ounce of sensible help people here are trying to offer you.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 12:48 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:
Honestly, the only places I'm worried for her would be the NorthEast, CA, Chicago and Austin.

Or Canada, Europe, Australia, China, Russia, all of South and Central America, or anyplace other than Middle of Nowhere, USA?

You're really not here for advice, you're just here to tell us what a hero you are. YAWN! We've seen the youtube videos already. Whenever you really feel like getting advice, feel free to ask. But don't think we're so stupid we believe you.

Oh, and BTW... if this is how you handled your childhood, no wonder you got beat up.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 1:11 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Can you say 'train wreck'? Sure you can.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 1:12 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
Look.

My baby girl will be fine.

I just want her to be able to function in the world that is... different.

Honestly, the only places I'm worried for her would be the NorthEast, CA, Chicago and Austin.

Other than that, she will be well done.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

In other words, anywhere where anything positive is happening.

I get it; you want your little girl to be every bit as backwards and brain-fucked as you are. You're off to a great start.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 1:27 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

One last comment... Hubby and I saw Hanna with out daughter 'cause everyone was making such a big fuss.

So here is this guy, he loves his daughter and tries to prepare her for a world which is quite literally out to kill her (not that there is much difference between that and modern-day capitalism, but I digress...) and, what does he do?

Teaches her to hunt and butcher elk in the middle of a forest??? How's that gonna help her in the middle of a city, except by the unlikeliest of plot devices thrown together by a bunch of trope-scavenging screewriters?? She would have been better-served learning how to be invisible among the homeless and hacking computers. The whole premise of the movie was so hopelessly unrealistic it ruined the whole film for us.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 2:10 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

What I find interesting is that Wulfie seems to think in cartoons. There's a serious lack of human nuance. It doesn't show up anywhere.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 4:56 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I liked Hanna, it was entertaining and the music was kind of cool. Of course it isn't realistic, its a movie, its just for entertainment. I do feel bad for Hanna at the end, where will she go, she could hire on with mercinaries or something, but I don't think she actively enjoys killing, she strikes me as the type who does what she knows but doesn't find pleasure in it. After all, she only just started killing people, she, like most people, probably doesn't really like doing it.

Wulf I think its good that you want Inara to have a balanced life, to be sociable but able to stand up for herself if necessary. With kids its all about modeling, you and your wife are her first teachers so behave in ways that you want her to behave. And make sure she plays with other kids a lot so she's good at it and can have lots of relationships, be close to friends, family, show respect but also think for herself, etc. Well rounded is good. It is literally impossible to spoil a baby during the first year of life, so hold her all the time and love her and pay lots of attention to her, kids don't get snotty from spoiling until after that 12 month mark so give her constant attention for that first year, but also make sure she's meeting her milestones etc. give her time on her back and tummy once she is the proper number of months old etc. Reading some basic baby books may be helpful so you know what to expect during her development.

Signe makes an excellent point about how you can hope and dream for your child all you want but it doesn't necessarily mean they'll be what you hoped for, I'm sure not what my mother wanted, I never was. The good parents though are the ones who will love their child no matter what may be with them, whether they're normal or different or loud or quiet or don't have common interests with their parents.

I assume you're my pal until you let me know otherwise. "A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, April 2, 2012 6:12 PM

WISHIMAY

Fun Quote of the night, from Adams Family Values...

"I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all- a loving husband, a family... It's just, well, I wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade..."

Not that has anything to do with anything, really...

Except that a sense of humor is really really important, in the grand scheme of things...And yer gonna need a whole hella lot of it in the next 20 years er so....

Lotsa luck!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 3:59 AM

PIZMOBEACH

... fully loaded, safety off...

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
I liked Hanna, it was entertaining and the music was kind of cool. Of course it isn't realistic, its a movie, its just for entertainment.

Well said - it is the fantasy I thought Wulf might be looking for in video form, his preferred mode of communication - thought it would illustrate how unreal that thinking is and be fun at the same time.

Wulf - thing is is how many people do you know that rebel against their parents? Like everyone? I can't think of any of my friends that wanted to be just like their Dad. It's a thing with youngins'. I even suspect that your parents had the same conversation before you were born, "how do we make sure our wulf pup learns the valuable lessons we've learned about the world? We'll move to the 'hood and teach him about the rainbow society..." You of course hated it, and that may be the same thing that happens to your little one. "My Dad was big on guns and all this movie metaphor crap... gawds for just a little reality..." You can't predict who they will be or what will "work."
Hell, you can even predict how you will change! I'm looking forward to your posts after the big event! You might start spouting things that sound suspiciously Libril...

A sincere best of luck to everyone involved.

Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:39 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by pizmobeach:

Wulf - thing is is how many people do you know that rebel against their parents? Like everyone? I can't think of any of my friends that wanted to be just like their Dad.

LOL!! So, so true.

Wulfie's gona raise him a gun-toting, red meat eating, paranoid, xenophobic hillbilly in his image - and she'll rebel and end up being a hippie!

Spoon!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 8:29 AM

Posting because I think Wulf really is looking for advice.

Wulf, I think the life lesson you want to instill in your daughter basically comes down to respect. You teach her to respect herself, and others, and free will, and that she shouldn't tolerate any disrespecting of any of those, and she'll be a good person. If she respects other people, she won't steal, she'll treat them decent, she'll speak up if she thinks the underdog is getting beaten up by the authority. If she respects herself, she won't do crack or let herself be taken advantage of.

I think compassion and courage will go from there.

I also think that yes of course you're going to love your daughter, you wouldn't be asking this sort of thing in your own way if you didn't already love her, and you weren't determined to let her know. Your story says you know what it's like to know neglect, and I don't think you'll do that to her for that reason. If you love your daughter, then even if you fight, even if she's a hot head like her dad, she'll love you back.

As for your other question I don't think martial arts is ever a bad idea. It often helps with the respect and self-respect thing, and also discipline, knowing when to fight, when to regroup, when not to get riled. A lot of studios will offer separate kid and adult sessions, and then have an all inclusive class on the weekends, so you could both participate with her while also teaching her to not fall back on her parents being around.

You also have to shop around for a good studio, which generally isn't going to be a free-for-all dojo or any teacher that seems arrogant and impatient. That's not what learning martial arts is about.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 8:44 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Thanks Byte,

Its not so much the martial-arts aspect I was looking for. I think I have that covered.

Its more the "how do you ingratiate yourself in society"?

She will know how to defend herself, thats a given (considering that women probably need to know how to fight, shoot, and all the rest MORESO than guys).

But to smile at the right time, giggle when necessary etc. Im kind of at a loss.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 8:58 AM

Oh. In that case, that kinda thing will actually come about pretty well on its own through regular socializing. Riona talks about play dates, which may not be to your taste, but there's also always city parks, or the kids in the neighborhood and backyards and sidewalks. Keep your eye on her when she's out and about, least until she's old enough to outrun or fight off a grown up stranger.

My family was pretty normal and they even tried to encourage me to be a proper girl, but sometimes that's just not who a girl is, and that's okay. It's fine if she's not a particularly giggly girl, or if she's a rough and tumble tomboy, society is coming around on that. At the same time, if she ends up being a quiet feminine wallflower who also knows how to kick ass, that's fine too. She'll develop into the person she's going to be as necessary, and all you need to do is lay the groundwork for all the social stuff, which I still think your best bet is respect and self-respect.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 9:02 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

Byte,

Good plan. Thanks.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 9:14 AM

Heh, eleven or so years from now, we could have a new adorable browncoat who might say hi on the general board.

Until then, I hope you'll keep us updated. She sounds like she's gonna be the cutest little Wulf. I think you're going to be a proud dad.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 10:03 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

I would like that.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 11:59 AM

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg

P.S. For the thimble-minded...

Heres a good rule to live by.

You GIVE respect, you GET respect.

I have respect for Bytes opinions, as he had respect for mine.

Cue the outrage.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 12:28 PM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:

You GIVE respect, you GET respect.

Has it even occurred to you that it works both ways?

Spoon!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 12:29 PM

I don't always agree with you on everything, and my life was no where near as bad as what you went through, but I do understand the way you're thinking. I got into lots of fights when I was a kid, back then it was about carving out a place for myself, protecting friends, and this honour code I had. I was an intense kid, but back then I wasn't actually self-destructive, that all came from other issues.

So I don't think any of this is necessarily destructive either. It's just a different way of approaching the world. I don't think you're going to ruin your daughter, and I also think a lot of what you have to teach her will be tempered by your Latina/Asian wife.

Just make sure that if she fights that it's her choice, you know? Fighting itself isn't bad, but a person has to volunteer for it, they have to understand the stakes and why they're fighting. A parent will want to protect their kid, I think even you'll be a little protective Wulf (I'm imagining her first boyfriend and the traditional if you hurt her speech, hah, poor guy) and there's nothing wrong with that either. But sometimes kids will just want to fight, because something's wrong and it's obvious it's wrong, and sometimes a parent can't protect them from that. My parents were normal and they couldn't protect me from my fighting ways. And at the same time, you can teach a person to fight but you can't make them fight. That's just how it is sometimes.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 1:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
P.S. For the thimble-minded...

Heres a good rule to live by.

You GIVE respect, you GET respect.

And this is why you get no respect around here. You give none, you EARN none.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 2:52 PM

HKCAVALIER

Yeah, this is the self-defeating nature of "respect is EARNED." That means we all start at disrespect, disrespect is the default. Somehow, folks whom we are disrespecting are supposed to earn our respect. By what? Disrespecting us back? But as we see, it doesn't work that way. Disrespect begets disrespect every damn time.

And then you have the case of Anthony here, who routinely returns respect for disrespect and gets nothing but more disrespect for his trouble. So, this rule to live by, "You GIVE respect, you GET respect" is at least intellectually dishonest. It basically means, "I will respect you if I damn well feel like it and, really, I probably won't."

HKCavalier

Hey, hey, hey, don't be mean. We don't have to be mean, because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 3:02 PM

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

I appreciate the notion, but to be fair, the respect I use in my language does erode over time... sometimes wearing to a sharp edge. There are a few here who have worn me past much semblance of civility.

The gist of your premise is quite correct, however. The opening position when approaching other people should properly be respect. If the opening position is disrespect, and respect must be earned, then there is little chance for a genesis of respect.

Wulf has the habit of casually insulting his audience and then wondering why they are negative in their responses.

I sometimes think he does not even realize when he does it. It would explain much.

It's hard to believe he does it knowingly and then is surprised at the reaction.

--Anthony

_______________________________________________

Note to self: Mr. Raptor believes that women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.

Reference thread: http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=51196

Never forget what this man is. You keep forgiving him his trespasses and speak to him as though he is a reasonable human being. You keep forgetting the things he's advocated. If you respond to this man again, you are being foolish.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 6:02 PM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Ditto Anthony. And others. I grinned reading Wulf's post, remembering the past few years. I, too, would LIKE to believe he does it out of lack of self-knowledge. I long since ceased trying to figure out if it is.

Anthony, people here would wear the patience of a SAINT to a finely-honed edge. You do better than 99% of us, which should be enough to rest on your laurels. That IS fair, so take the compliment like a man! ;o)

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, April 4, 2012 4:42 AM