Revolutionary Idea: Children should only touch who they want to touch by ANTHONYT

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Revolutionary Idea: Children should only touch who they want to touch

POSTED BY: ANTHONYT
UPDATED: Monday, June 25, 2012 08:48
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VIEWED: 2285
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Wednesday, June 20, 2012 4:10 PM

Freedom is Important because People are Important

http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.html

Hello,

When I was a kid, I was always being pushed to hug and kiss relatives and even close friends of the family whether I wanted to or not. One of these relatives turned out to be a pedophile. But anyway...

I think giving children ownership of their bodies is a good idea. They should not be forced to hug or kiss anyone.

--Anthony

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012 6:33 PM

BYTEMITE

People don't hug me, this works fine by me. I agree fully with the premise of this.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012 6:47 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

I have to agree as well. Insisting on hugs and kisses is one of those "harmless" parenting conventions that I don't really agree with. I was a fairly affectionate child, but I didn't always want to hug relatives, and rarely wanted to kiss them. For the most part, this was fine by my mother, but my dad was occasionally more insistent about it. All in all, I never developed a problem telling my peers not to touch me, but I understand how that could be a concern.

What reason had proved best ceased to look absurd to the eye, which shows how idle it is to think anything ridiculous except what is wrong.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2012 8:52 PM

WISHIMAY

My kid wants to hug AND kiss everybody, even her teacher said she's never had a kid ask to kiss her on the cheek before...
I'm gonna go with the theory that she's really well adjusted, instead of harboring the notion that she is really over-trusting and has physical boundary issues...

I make it a point to give her a hug every day, some kids do like a little affection. I gave her the option of giving the kiss or not, and I must admit, I'm not entirely comfortable with that. I dunno where she gets it from... My granny gives the best warm 'n fuzzy hugs ever though

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 5:28 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I agree; luckily my family (what little there was of them) weren't "huggers" and nobody asked me to ever hug anyone. Missed out on a lot, and left with a distinct discomfort of BEING hugged, but at least I wasn't forced to hug the one relative we had who was a real shit-bitch! If anyone had ever said "now go give Cousin Phyllis a big hug", I'd probably have vomitted.

Wish, you raised a lovely child in that respect...just be careful who she hugs (!).

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 5:37 AM

BYTEMITE

Quote:
All in all, I never developed a problem telling my peers not to touch me, but I understand how that could be a concern.

...How is that a concern? Some people just don't like what the rest of you consider "friendly" gestures. For some of us it seems like an encroachment on our privacy and a threat.

Hugs are what happens when someone wants to hold you hostage and break your will.

Niki: Yes. My family doesn't hug either. I'm very glad for this.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 5:44 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Hugs are what happens when someone wants to hold you hostage and break your will.

Hello,

Every knife can cut an apple or slit a throat, I suppose.

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 6:01 AM

BYTEMITE

For some people the apple is the throat.

Do not want hug = held against will. Doesn't matter who the hug is from, don't want it.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 6:19 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Hello,

No one is forcing hugs on you that I know of, Byte. You're safe.

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 6:47 AM

BYTEMITE

Virtual hugs are pretty bad too. And I have a couple of sister in laws who haven't yet figured out how to stay clear yet and for some bizarre reason think that a hug will cheer me up. Ugh.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 6:53 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Virtual hugs are pretty bad too. And I have a couple of sister in laws who haven't yet figured out how to stay clear yet and for some bizarre reason think that a hug will cheer me up. Ugh.

Hello,

Virtual hugs? How are virtual hugs bad? They only occur in the mind of consenting parties.

For instance, I have often given you a mental hug, but that can't manifest a reality outside my imagination.

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 7:10 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
All in all, I never developed a problem telling my peers not to touch me, but I understand how that could be a concern.

...How is that a concern? Some people just don't like what the rest of you consider "friendly" gestures. For some of us it seems like an encroachment on our privacy and a threat.

Wait, what? I'm not sure what you're getting from what I said, but it isn't what I said.

What reason had proved best ceased to look absurd to the eye, which shows how idle it is to think anything ridiculous except what is wrong.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 7:42 AM

BYTEMITE

You said that developing a tendency to tell peers not to touch you is a problem, that you can see how it is a concern, and you said you never developed that problem.

I was asking why it is a concern/problem.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 7:44 AM

BYTEMITE

Quote:
Virtual hugs? How are virtual hugs bad? They only occur in the mind of consenting parties.

That almost makes it worse. Plus I haven't exactly been consenting. ._.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 9:10 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
Virtual hugs? How are virtual hugs bad? They only occur in the mind of consenting parties.

That almost makes it worse. Plus I haven't exactly been consenting. ._.

Hello,

?? As far as I know, I am not telepathic or telekinetic, and the practice of mentally extending warm feelings towards you has no impact outside of my imagination.

Surely you are not suggesting that I censor my thoughts and emotions?

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 9:25 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
You said that developing a tendency to tell peers not to touch you is a problem, that you can see how it is a concern, and you said you never developed that problem.

Um, no, that is not what I said. That is, in fact, pretty much the exact opposite of what I said. I said I didn't ever develop a problem with telling peers not to touch me due to being told to hug grandma and grandpa. Even never developing that problem myself, I can understand parents being concerned about it. That is, a child who has a problem with telling people not to touch them is a legitimate concern for them to have.

What reason had proved best ceased to look absurd to the eye, which shows how idle it is to think anything ridiculous except what is wrong.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 9:49 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

"If any kid wants to hug me naked in the shower, that's ok by me."
-Jerry Sandusky

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:06 PM

BYTEMITE

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
You said that developing a tendency to tell peers not to touch you is a problem, that you can see how it is a concern, and you said you never developed that problem.

Um, no, that is not what I said. That is, in fact, pretty much the exact opposite of what I said. I said I didn't ever develop a problem with telling peers not to touch me due to being told to hug grandma and grandpa. Even never developing that problem myself, I can understand parents being concerned about it. That is, a child who has a problem with telling people not to touch them is a legitimate concern for them to have.

Oh. Okay.

>_> Sorry.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:09 PM

BYTEMITE

Quote:
Originally posted by ANTHONYT:
Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
Virtual hugs? How are virtual hugs bad? They only occur in the mind of consenting parties.

That almost makes it worse. Plus I haven't exactly been consenting. ._.

Hello,

?? As far as I know, I am not telepathic or telekinetic, and the practice of mentally extending warm feelings towards you has no impact outside of my imagination.

Surely you are not suggesting that I censor my thoughts and emotions?

--Anthony

No, but it's not all that respectful to me to ignore that it makes me feel uncomfortable. But if you wish to continue to do so in the written media, I suppose I have little recourse but to continue to be uncomfortable.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:49 PM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
Originally posted by ANTHONYT:
Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
Virtual hugs? How are virtual hugs bad? They only occur in the mind of consenting parties.

That almost makes it worse. Plus I haven't exactly been consenting. ._.

Hello,

?? As far as I know, I am not telepathic or telekinetic, and the practice of mentally extending warm feelings towards you has no impact outside of my imagination.

Surely you are not suggesting that I censor my thoughts and emotions?

--Anthony

No, but it's not all that respectful to me to ignore that it makes me feel uncomfortable. But if you wish to continue to do so in the written media, I suppose I have little recourse but to continue to be uncomfortable.

Hello,

I'll just keep any fondness for you to myself, then.

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:58 PM

BYTEMITE

On the bright side, there can't be too much of it left after this conversation with me.

Hmn. I hijacked another thread. Sorry Anthony. :(

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:02 PM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
On the bright side, there can't be too much of it left after this conversation with me.

Hmn. I hijacked another thread. Sorry Anthony. :(

Hello,

No worries. I will neither confirm nor deny that I still enjoy speaking with you and hold fondness in my heart for you as a human being. :-)

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:32 PM

WISHIMAY

Hamish...That's my middle name if you wanna name the kid you two have after me

(P.S. not actually my middle name, but a line from Sherlock) My middle name is far far worse....

JK!

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Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:42 PM

BYTEMITE

*Scene plays out like Saffron's offer to wash feet in OMR*

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Friday, June 22, 2012 4:55 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Quote:
Originally posted by ANTHONYT:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.html

Hello,

When I was a kid, I was always being pushed to hug and kiss relatives and even close friends of the family whether I wanted to or not. One of these relatives turned out to be a pedophile. But anyway...

I think giving children ownership of their bodies is a good idea. They should not be forced to hug or kiss anyone.

--Anthony

I dunno...

Part of me thinks its not a bad thing, although there's never been any incest or rape in the family here.

With 99% of the people I meet, besides handshakes, there's like a zero tolerance touching policy and I've snapped about that before when somebody invades my personal "bubble". It's kind of nice to meet up with "blood" a few times a year and let my defenses down completely.

Seriously Anthony... I can't believe you would be, in any way, asking for a "law" to be sent down to change this practice.... right? Say it ain't so..........

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Friday, June 22, 2012 5:11 AM

ANTHONYT

Freedom is Important because People are Important

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by ANTHONYT:
http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.html

Hello,

When I was a kid, I was always being pushed to hug and kiss relatives and even close friends of the family whether I wanted to or not. One of these relatives turned out to be a pedophile. But anyway...

I think giving children ownership of their bodies is a good idea. They should not be forced to hug or kiss anyone.

--Anthony

I dunno...

Part of me thinks its not a bad thing, although there's never been any incest or rape in the family here.

With 99% of the people I meet, besides handshakes, there's like a zero tolerance touching policy and I've snapped about that before when somebody invades my personal "bubble". It's kind of nice to meet up with "blood" a few times a year and let my defenses down completely.

Seriously Anthony... I can't believe you would be, in any way, asking for a "law" to be sent down to change this practice.... right? Say it ain't so..........

Hello,

I have no idea what you're talking about, Jack.

--Anthony

Note to Self:
Raptor - women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.
Wulf - Niki is a stupid fucking bitch who should hurry up and die.
Never forget what these men are.
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” -Thomas Szasz

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, June 24, 2012 1:57 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Quote:
Originally posted by ANTHONYT:
Hello,

I have no idea what you're talking about, Jack.

--Anthony

I was just posting to your first post....

Sure... I never enjoyed it as a kid when an ugly relative of mine would pinch my cheek or pick me up when i was young, but when my hot aunts did, I didn't complain so much......

You win some, you lose some.....

Regardless of this prurience of a reason why, but kids should be held and regarded rather than shunned and disregarded because good people are afraid of what "others" might think their intentions were.

"Children should only touch who they want to touch" also comes with "only children who anyone wants to touch will be touched".

Have you ever seen the movie Psycho?

Not the hack version starring "Money" Vaughn, but the original...

If mom makes the decision to be the only one who touches a kid, when she dies, he'll keep his mom's remains in a separate bedroom at talk to her for 20 years. At the very least, this is what he'll turn into....

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Sunday, June 24, 2012 6:21 PM

BYTEMITE

Quote:

"Children should only touch who they want to touch" also comes with "only children who anyone wants to touch will be touched".

...Yes, and? I repeat myself, no one ever hugged me. They knew I'd just bite them.

I'm mean and vicious now, sure, I might even be a psychopath, but I don't THINK I'm evil. But even if I were, would that matter? Should I get hugged until I'm not a total bitch? Should we try to change the way other kids are when they don't want to change?

We don't have to pass laws, this kinda stuff should just be common sense. Some people you can't make them nice or affectionate or hug them all better. That shit doesn't even WORK.

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Sunday, June 24, 2012 8:32 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I don't think you're a psychopath Byte, I don't even think a lot of the things you say about yourself, or else I wouldn't want to be your friend, you know when I actually suspect things like that about another person I'm not willing to be their friend and I don't like them.

But don't worry I won't send you any virtual hugs, I'm not a very physically affectionate person except with little ones and on rare occasions when hugs are warranted, like I haven't seen someone I love in a long time. When I see Jennifer I just want to stand there and hold her for instance, but I don't think that would go over well. I have to be in the right mood for hugs. But I've always found virtual hugs to be unnecessary, so I'm not sending any your way.

I have Kathy Bates on speed dial, mwa ha ha ha (in exaggeratedly evil voice)

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya.

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Monday, June 25, 2012 5:17 AM

BYTEMITE

Take care when warming vipers.

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Monday, June 25, 2012 8:48 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Take care when warming vipers.

I won't hug you Byte. Not my style.... I feel weird hugging my friends wives and girlfriends but it's one of those kinds of rituals like the whole family thing.

I'll give you the same type of "hug" that I'd want from you. Standing eye to eye, arms folded, acknowledging each other in appreciation of each other, and possibly cracking a half smile.

You're not evil. You're not a psychopath either... at least I don't think that I am. Crazy, sure, but crazy can be fun. "Normal" is boring....

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