National Spelling Changes by SergeantX

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National Spelling Changes

POSTED BY: SERGEANTX
UPDATED: Monday, September 13, 2004 04:43
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Sunday, September 12, 2004 9:16 AM

The National Spelling Institute, bowing to overwhelming pressure from internet message board posters, has made the following spelling changes to the English language. Effective retroactively from 4/1/00.

lose - the verb meaning 'to be defeated' or 'to be deprived of' will now be spelled with two "o's". As in - "I loose every time we have a spelling bee"

definite, definitely - the adjective meaning 'clearly defined' or 'having distinct limits' will now be spelled with an "a" in the third syllable. As in - "I definately can't find my dictionary."

there, their, they're - these words are now all to be considered alternate spellings for the same, all-purpose word.

your, you're - see above.

The NSI is also soliciting contributions. If you have any suggestions feel free to post them here.

SergeantX

"Dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it, cause dreamers always chase but never get it." Aesop Rock

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 9:57 AM

SGTGUMP

I could prolly think of some later.

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 10:16 AM

SOUPCATCHER

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when i read this

.

I want to add something about the use of the word "like" in conversations but I'm not sure how to make it concise like a dictionary entry. For example, I've heard it used quite often to denote a quotation. "And then he was like, 'That was great!' And I was like, 'Ya think?' " And it seems to me to be the most common verbal placeholder that is actually a word (unlike "umm").

And one more for the road:
interesting - this word should now be used when you don't want to reveal your true opinion but want to give the impression that you did.
Ex. The movie was interesting.

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 10:48 AM

IAMJACKSUSERNAME

Well, I'm all right. - Mal

Look upon Bob the angry flower and never forget when to use an apostrophe http://tinyurl.com/3s4hx or the difference between "its" and "it's" http://tinyurl.com/m476
--
I am Jack's username
FTL in Firefly? < http://jack.p5.org.uk/about-fiction/ftl-firefly.en.html>

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 11:42 AM

JADEHAND

Thank you SergeantX. I've always found the (mis)use of their, they're, and there ......"interesting" I've also noticed similar issues with Two, to, and Too.
Thanks again for the laugh.

Visit WWW.Marillion.Com for a better way to live

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 11:45 AM

SIGMANUNKI

Quote:
Originally posted by SergeantX:
The National Spelling Institute...

This institute didn't show up in the first couple of pages of a google search. So, I sincerely hope that this is a joke. Otherwise, we've just witnessed how retarded people have gotten (at least in one country anyway).

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 12:00 PM

GEEZER

Keep the Shiny side up

Noone will no longer be the last name of the singer for Herman's Hermits, but will signify the complete absence of people. Example: "I went to the rave, but noone was there."

Gorilla fighter will no longer be used to identify Tarzan, or others engaged in battling great apes, but will signify insurgent forces. Example: "The Marine convoy was attacked by gorilla fighters."

The apostrophe is now optional. Example: "I dont punctuate any more."

"Keep the Shiny side up"

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 12:08 PM

FIREFLEW

If you think that's ridiculous, here in England, in London, there are classes for, "proper English speaking".

Yup, some people apparently can't speak in their mother tongue correctly.

This makes me sad...

___________________________________
Jayne: "Know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I beat you with till you understand who's in command."

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 1:05 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Capitalization and punctuation will no longer be necessary in the written word.

the united states delcared war against iraq they will send troops to liberate the people from the reign of saddam hussein the country is divided on the issue and reasons behind the invasion dont you think thats cool

cuz - the new because
wut - the new what

--------------------------------------------------
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com

http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 1:07 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by sgtgump:
I could prolly think of some later.

prolly will replace probably
ur will replace your and you're

--------------------------------------------------
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com

http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 2:08 PM

DARKJESTER

Mebbe we shood say "gotta" more offen......?

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 3:04 PM

SOUPCATCHER

I've been lobbying for years for the use of "dude" as a gender neutral pronoun.

I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 4:53 PM

THEGREYJEDI

In the immortal words of Cake:

"He is calling you...DUDE!"

--------------------------------------------------
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com

http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices

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Sunday, September 12, 2004 5:26 PM

WILLOWY

This was hi-larious! Thank you SO much!

Can I get a "Hell Yeah" for "irregardless"? NOT A WORD, PEOPLE!

"Once, in flight school, I was laconic..."

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Monday, September 13, 2004 4:43 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by Fireflew:
If you think that's ridiculous, here in England, in London, there are classes for, "proper English speaking".

"You should speak English! Not whatever it is they speak where you're from."
"England?" --Buffy & Giles

Quote:
Originally posted by SoupCatcher:
I've been lobbying for years for the use of "dude" as a gender neutral pronoun.

It's Zen Dudism.

We express our reverence for all forms of life by referring to everyone and every (living) thing as "dude."

Take a deep breath and recite the sacred mantra:

Whoooooaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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