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REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS
Our truest selves?
Tuesday, July 2, 2013 7:12 PM
MAGONSDAUGHTER
Quote:Originally posted by MAL4PREZ: I need to think a bit about what this means. I guess, for me, whether I understand it or not I do not express it by default. I try to understand so I can express something useful and acceptable. I don't claim that my way is good. :)
Quote: Try this: I am not in the habit of having emotional responses, so when I have a real one I control it tightly because I do not know how to control it and fear what it will do if I let it go. I don't get overwhelmed because I don't understand the emotion.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013 7:15 PM
SIGNYM
I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.
Quote:OK, so I am Spock-like. When some events occur that evokes an emotional response (see? Spock.) I do not just go with it. There's a process of: What am I feeling? Really? Why? Is it what I should feel?
Quote: Is it ok to express that right now? Should I express something else? etc etc. Not that I don't feel things, but I've always been analytical about it all. My head examines my gut, so to speak.
Quote:At some point many years ago I began to adjust this a bit. At the time, I called it "thinking without words." Try to be aware of how your thoughts work. For me, it's pretty much always a narration of words flying about in my head, a somewhat logical process though many words certainly do spring up from the subconscious. But they are words. There is a controlled and conscious method of thought.
Quote:I think the "thought without words" came from ice hockey. There are pure moments in the game where a series of action happen without any single word. I can describe the action as: "The other player is going to make a bad pass and if I step up here, now I can get it and catch it in my skates and cut left no deke right and go to the backhand... " etc. But in the moment there's no time for all that. In the moment the decision to deke right is not planned. Something deeper than the conscious mind is driving, and it's connected in to all the limbs and the hands and the feet in the skates. It's just really a cool thing when it happens. My point: I think that if we take the proper time to train ourselves, to learn that technique of feet and hands, we reach a point where it's best to let go of our conscious control and let our subconscious and our gut and our emotions take control. More examples A concert pianist playing Claire de Lune has no logical control of the timing between those opening chords, the changes of tempo throughout. A computer could be set up to tap it out, but it is the pianist's ability to allow their emotion to dictate the timing, and trust their technique to carry through, that makes the music. I did a dance concert a few weeks ago. It was the first time I really let go of micro-managing dance. I didn't compulsively review every phrase and entrance and exit in a state of angst that I'd screw up. My body just knew what to do. It was much more enjoyable and, I think, expressive performance than I've ever had before. Yes, that's all the arts,
Quote: but I think this applies to science as well. With the significant caveat that time must be taken to inform the gut, One's "instincts" can lead to brilliant insights. Question for students: how long must I spend on a treadmill to work off a bag of M&Ms? They've handed in, for a grade, anything from microsecs to millenia. They never take a minute to ask their gut if that makes sense. My point reworded: A detective has years of experience buried in their subconscious. That thing is powerful. It's the largest part of our brains, I think. When they have a "gut" feeling that the evidence isn't telling the whole story, they should at very least consider the option. Back to the OP. I think the problem is not so much that people trust to their guts and emotions too much, it's that they're too lazy to educate their guts first, or to assess things when the gut isn't leading them good places. Oh, one more thing. I think that listening to the gut is a way to avoid all that programming that goes on. My example: if someone asked me when I was 22 what I wanted to do with my life, there was always a first answer that flitted by before I could even consciously consider it. Because that just couldn't have worked (my programming said.) And now I regret that I did not allow myself to consider it. So my version of "listening to my gut" is trying to find that first answer that comes out of my brain before all my fears and logic and programing smother it. OK, I'm still Spock-like with all the analysis. But it's a lot more interesting these days than it used to be.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013 7:29 PM
MAL4PREZ
Quote:Originally posted by Magonsdaughter: Likewise, many people find CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy useful, and I don't see it as being without value. Just not right for me at a particular stage in my life. I have seen that it might be useful for some people - those who tend to catastrophise, and/or get hysterical over minor issues.
Quote:It may actually be that you actually know your emotions very well, and you have strategies for managing emotions before they become too overwhelming, ie emotion coaching calls for dealing with lower level emotions, before the amygdala hijack sets in and you've got zip chance of managing anything.
Quote:Being emotionally intelligent is not so much about the response, but knowing what you feel. It's the difference between saying 'I feel really irratated, so I better walk away before I blow my top' and walking around like a time bomb filled with high levels of emotion, just waiting for a trigger to set you to blow. An increasing number of our population fit into this, hence you get road rage, people taking a king hit on someone because they look at them funny et al. Or drinking/drugging away the emotional pain that they have no way of managing.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013 10:04 PM
FREMDFIRMA
Quote:Wow. Interesting.
Quote:I'm trying to remember the name of a book a long ago roommate of mine had. I didn't read it, but we discussed the idea: that a good many "insane" people are not really insane, they are only having rational responses to an insane society.
Quote:I wish I'd had the courage to do some of this. I experienced bullies both my age and older, and I was crushed by them.
Quote:The new generation has these kinds of kids in it. I have hope.
Quote:As for your current works: I do understand your struggles, as I have lived in that kind of Midwest. I suppose I could have chosen to stay and work at it, but that's not for me. It would have only made me and others unhappy. I am better in a blue state gathered up with all the other oddities.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 2:25 AM
GEEZER
Keep the Shiny side up
Quote:Originally posted by 1kiki: Just a little bit more threadjacking, then I'll quit. Geezer, where did I say we could, or should 'ALL just ...'? Nothing happens in this society with us 'ALL just ...'' A lot of times a FEW just ..., sometimes it's the MAJORITY just ..., but we don't 'ALL just ...'. So, please READ my post again. REALLY READ ***MY WORDS***, and stop arguing with the voices in your head. You'll find comprehension goes so much better if you do.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 11:53 AM
Quote:Originally posted by SIGNYM: MAL4, deepest apologies for not responding. I thought your post was interesting and a kick-in-the-pants reminder just how different we all are. I assumed that everyone had a problem with runaway emotion; it seems to me that we don't ALL have that problem. I thought some things were particularly interesting, and some things left me feeling very intrigued (my dd would say "nosy")
Quote:Quote:OK, so I am Spock-like.... Is it what I should feel? All of those questions are useful. But I wonder how you would judge "should" from "shouldn't"
Quote:OK, so I am Spock-like.... Is it what I should feel?
Quote: I think it's more about "muscle memory"
Quote:So, going all Spock-like for a bit myself, it's easier for me to see about training muscle memory, but I find it hard to see how one trains one's gut.
Quote:There are so many parts, and so many possible lessons, both useful and dysfunctional.
Quote:For example, just feeding raw experience into the gut may reinforce initial prejudices and stereotypes. Feeling unlovable, one may act in unlovable ways
Quote:So, maybe there are several kinds of training that would be helpful: How to handle strong emotions, as MAGONS described. Living in a different society, class, and language for perspective. Learning how to learn, feeling comfortable with feeling untutored and clumsy. Learning a skill or craft. I don't know how to train a gut, but what do you think of these ideas?
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 12:12 PM
BYTEMITE
Quote:Our deepest knowledge is mapped out in our subconscious.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 1:54 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 2:50 PM
Quote:Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA: They should be thankful I didn't read Enders Game till my last year of school,
Quote:That would be Kurt Vonneguts Welcome to the Monkey House.
Quote:. Oh we got oddies a-plenty round here, hell we've had some real..erm, "winners" as residents here and there,
Quote:But no, everyone and anyone seems hell bent on trying to MAKE everyone else act, live and think like THEY do... OR ELSE - and that latter part is why I don't get on with folks who mean the best, but don't realize they're pouring oil on a slope already slippery enough.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 3:05 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Quote:Our deepest knowledge is mapped out in our subconscious. ...This is where I begin to disagree, unfortunately. I can buy everything about emotional intelligence versus logical intelligence, to a degree, and will even admit it's best to not rely too much on one or the other. But the unconscious is so poorly understood despite the insistence of psychology that it exists and all the research they do, that I have my doubts that it DOES.
Quote:What possible evolutionary advantage is there to have some sort of secret hidden knowledge that we can't tap into as necessary? What would be the purpose of such a division of functions?
Quote:You'd think that with our neurological scans and actual empirical data, we could move past the flawed and imperfect ideas of Freud, instead of assuming that he is right that this something he said is there and exists when he had no instruments to FIND it and was probably talkin' out his ass (as per usual).
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 3:32 PM
Quote:Because the conscious brain can't do everything. What if you had to remind yourself to breathe or you'd die? How much could you do if you were constantly regulating your own heartbeat?
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 4:26 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Quote:Because the conscious brain can't do everything. What if you had to remind yourself to breathe or you'd die? How much could you do if you were constantly regulating your own heartbeat? Yes, I did mention automatic processes in my post above, but I hardly consider those to be any sort of input or source for knowledge. But then I don't believe meditation is all that useful, and meditation is from what I understand a way of breathing that people attribute all kinds of benefits to. It really does sound like you're describing exactly the kind of thing I'm complaining about, this idea that there's some part of our brain where our dreams come from that "knows" things or "learns" things. And then a hop skip from that is the possibility that our dreams mean something. And, as I said, I disagree that any such thing exists, in much the same way that I doubt our thoughts and emotions originate from the heart muscles the way some schools of thought used to claim. However, I perhaps was and am coming across more rude than I intended, and I probably am not going to get anywhere arguing with you. Plus I can remember having similar conversations on this board with people who believe strongly in the concept of a place where we store or process thoughts or emotions separate from our surface thoughts and emotions, and people got pretty angry about my objections otherwise.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 4:34 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 4:42 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: ... -_- No. No one tried to shovel freudian shit at me. This is why I don't like these ideas. Perhaps YOU have one of these unconscious/subconscious DEALIES, I wouldn't know. I do NOT. I am a shallow, dull, frivolous person who cares about only unimportant things and all my emotions bubble on the surface. I lack any kind of depth like you describe. I won't say anything else.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:07 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Yes, I did mention automatic processes in my post above, but I hardly consider those to be any sort of input or source for knowledge. But then I don't believe meditation is all that useful, and meditation is from what I understand a way of breathing that people attribute all kinds of benefits to. It really does sound like you're describing exactly the kind of thing I'm complaining about, this idea that there's some part of our brain where our dreams come from that "knows" things or "learns" things. And then a hop skip from that is the possibility that our dreams mean something. And, as I said, I disagree that any such thing exists, in much the same way that I doubt our thoughts and emotions originate from the heart muscles the way some schools of thought used to claim. However, I perhaps was and am coming across more rude than I intended, and I probably am not going to get anywhere arguing with you. Plus I can remember having similar conversations on this board with people who believe strongly in the concept of a place where we store or process thoughts or emotions separate from our surface thoughts and emotions, and people got pretty angry about my objections otherwise.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:21 PM
Quote:Originally posted by Magonsdaughter: Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Yes, I did mention automatic processes in my post above, but I hardly consider those to be any sort of input or source for knowledge. But then I don't believe meditation is all that useful, and meditation is from what I understand a way of breathing that people attribute all kinds of benefits to. It really does sound like you're describing exactly the kind of thing I'm complaining about, this idea that there's some part of our brain where our dreams come from that "knows" things or "learns" things. And then a hop skip from that is the possibility that our dreams mean something. And, as I said, I disagree that any such thing exists, in much the same way that I doubt our thoughts and emotions originate from the heart muscles the way some schools of thought used to claim. However, I perhaps was and am coming across more rude than I intended, and I probably am not going to get anywhere arguing with you. Plus I can remember having similar conversations on this board with people who believe strongly in the concept of a place where we store or process thoughts or emotions separate from our surface thoughts and emotions, and people got pretty angry about my objections otherwise. yes, we have had similar conversations before, I remember. But perhaps its more the language that you object to rather than the ideas. I wonder if you would agree with any of the following: Not all memories are easily accessable We have ways of storing oads more information than we actually ackowledge Dreams can be a way of processing experiences and emotions Our brains function in highly complex ways and scientists are still trying to work out how they do what they do
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:30 PM
Quote:So what exactly did I say in my previous posts about the way *my* brain works that was personally insulting to you?
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:44 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Quote:Originally posted by Magonsdaughter: Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Yes, I did mention automatic processes in my post above, but I hardly consider those to be any sort of input or source for knowledge. But then I don't believe meditation is all that useful, and meditation is from what I understand a way of breathing that people attribute all kinds of benefits to. It really does sound like you're describing exactly the kind of thing I'm complaining about, this idea that there's some part of our brain where our dreams come from that "knows" things or "learns" things. And then a hop skip from that is the possibility that our dreams mean something. And, as I said, I disagree that any such thing exists, in much the same way that I doubt our thoughts and emotions originate from the heart muscles the way some schools of thought used to claim. However, I perhaps was and am coming across more rude than I intended, and I probably am not going to get anywhere arguing with you. Plus I can remember having similar conversations on this board with people who believe strongly in the concept of a place where we store or process thoughts or emotions separate from our surface thoughts and emotions, and people got pretty angry about my objections otherwise. yes, we have had similar conversations before, I remember. But perhaps its more the language that you object to rather than the ideas. I wonder if you would agree with any of the following: Not all memories are easily accessable We have ways of storing oads more information than we actually ackowledge Dreams can be a way of processing experiences and emotions Our brains function in highly complex ways and scientists are still trying to work out how they do what they do I only agree with the last one. You'd have to explain criteria or ways in which you can measure the other stuff for me to concede the science here.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:50 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 5:59 PM
1KIKI
Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:07 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: If you truly want to know, the reason I am so contemptuous is because I think none of this is scientific. There are no measurements that can be made about dreams or unconscious knowledge.
Quote:I also found your insinuation that "repressed memories" and "filters" are responsible for my disagreement with you incredibly condescending.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:30 PM
Quote:You have yet to address any of those, you only rail against other ideologies/theories that have nothing to do with my posts.
Quote:I said nothing about repressed memories. Why do you bring that up? It was never mentioned before you brought it up.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:34 PM
Quote:Originally posted by 1kiki: It's about a woman who had such a demanding, persistent itch that she scratched through her skull into her brain.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:38 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:40 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 6:48 PM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Quote:You have yet to address any of those, you only rail against other ideologies/theories that have nothing to do with my posts. They have everything to do with them. Everything I've heard you say has confirmed what I thought you're talking about.
Quote:Quote:I said nothing about repressed memories. Why do you bring that up? It was never mentioned before you brought it up. Not directly. But what else would these "filters" you keep talking about be? You basically said exactly this to me, that I was drawing on previous experiences, having a bad reaction to someone pulling out freud psychoanalysis on me. Oh POOR ME. Except no.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 7:10 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 7:11 PM
Wednesday, July 3, 2013 10:08 PM
Thursday, July 4, 2013 12:06 AM
Quote:OK, are you as hyped about the movie as I am? I wasn't at first, but caught the preview in the theater last weekend and I gotta say - this might be entertaining. I need to read the book again before I see it though. It's been a while.
Quote:Very telling clip. That's what bullying all about, right? To terrorize a person but make it "fun" in order to make them completely helpless. As soon as the terrorized strikes back, the bully sez "Oh jeez, where's your sense of humor?" I can't say I generally condone beating someone with a chair, but I certainly understand wanting to. I find I'm gotten better at cutting with words when I need to, and that can be enough.
Quote:Society is certainly insane. Just look at Steubenville. Morons in that town are still defending the coach, who still has his job. How is any young woman with self-respect supposed to grow up "sane" in a place like that? Or young man, for that matter.
Quote:"I wish the entire human race had one neck, and I had my hands around it!"
Quote:Replying to this would be a long off topic hijack, so all I'm gonna say is Amen Brother!
Quote:If there's a moral to the story, it's this: in the early summer when the rains move in, put your damned garlic in the fridge.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 5:47 AM
Quote:Originally posted by Magonsdaughter: Byte, seriously, stop hijacking threads so that its all about you. It's tiresome. This thread is a discussion around emotions and rational thought and some sharing of ideas around what it all might mean. while I am interested in what you have to say, even though I disagree with your views, I dont want to enter into another conversation about how your perceive yourself to be shallow, bad, evil, or any negative attribute that you insist on giving yourself. Nor another conversation about how someone has offended you.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 6:04 AM
Thursday, July 4, 2013 8:00 AM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Mal4Prez brought it up, she just didn't use the terminology to describe what she was accusing me of. But that's what it is. That's what it is exactly. It's Freud.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 8:11 AM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: Plus I'm held to different standards than the rest of you, to the point where I can't say ANYTHING without being accused of hijacking a thread.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 9:05 AM
Quote:Either there's some big secret cabal passing notes planning this
Thursday, July 4, 2013 10:09 AM
Thursday, July 4, 2013 11:00 AM
Quote:Originally posted by Bytemite: Quote:Either there's some big secret cabal passing notes planning this ... This one is making more sense all the time, as it turns out.
Quote:Either there's some big secret cabal passing notes planning this ...
Quote:Originally posted by 1kiki: I don't think it can be both. Because if you were 'born mean' - and continue to be mean - then there's an influence not under your control.
Quote:Anyway, to relate this to 'our truest selves' - I think we are all born with a particular balance of hormonal/ neurochemical responses predominant. Not all of these inborn states are either comfortable, or helpful in terms of survival.
Quote:But there's also a truism that goes - when we are young, we are the people we were raised to be. When we get old, we are the people we were born to be. I've found that to be true as I go through life and observe how my responses - even my basic perceptions - change.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 11:55 AM
Quote:Originally posted by BYTEMITE: And Magons, there's a lot more criticism against the idea of the unconscious than you're realizing. Psychologists still like it though so they do experiments about it. But I find a lot of their experiments don't really met the standards of vigour. Also, the linked discovery article has exactly the kind of wishy washy poorly supported speculation about dreams that I can't stand.
Thursday, July 4, 2013 9:34 PM
Quote:I am aware of EVERYTHING. It's actually incredibly annoying. I feel every stutter in my heart, to the point where I've had myself checked out for a-fib and I probably do have some sort of psychosomatic texidor's twinge.
Quote:But the unconscious is so poorly understood despite the insistence of psychology that it exists and all the research they do, that I have my doubts that it DOES. What possible evolutionary advantage is there to have some sort of secret hidden knowledge that we can't tap into as necessary? What would be the purpose of such a division of functions? What people call the unconscious I suspect is really just the animalistic parts of the limbic system
Tuesday, July 9, 2013 6:37 PM
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