Poll: pick what life means to you by chrisisall

Can people with OCD gain control of their focus?
If so, how?

========================:>
A man's gotta know his limitations. ~Dirty Harry

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Monday, October 28, 2013 9:00 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:

It's not about 'tough', Wish. It's about where you put your focus.

This isn't a "step aside and let the moment happen thing" numbnuts.

I actually have a pretty rare amalgam of disorders. First there's the RA. Means I have calcifications where they shouldn't. I've had them between ribs and they'll grow until they click EVERY TIME I BREATHE, then I'll hit the area with one of those little souvenier bats you get at baseball games AND BEAT IT UNTIL IT BREAKS OFF.... Just this year my left thumb has become sore to the point that I have to pop it ten times a day just to get it to stop for a minute.

Then there's the Osteoarthritis (missing bits of cartilage!!) caused by a decade of intestinal disorder that meant more pain than you can ever truly comprehend. I've only recently come to realize it's because I have a peanut, tree nut, and lobster intolerance. I believed that if you were allergic to these things you would get a rash or hives and never once in a freaking decade thought THOSE were the problem. Unfortunately I've already done massive damage as the chronic inflammation has caused fibromyalgia, as well...

Then there's the undiagnosed dyspraxia we only really figured out when my kid was diagnosed. Over half of dyspraxics have hypermobility and I am one (actually I was diagnosed with hypermobility and that led to the dyspraxia diagnosis for both of us), which basically means that the connective tissues (tendons and ligaments) are like ancient rubber bands that don't fully retract back. My entire moving structure is compromised. Most people have things that click and pop every now and then.

MINE..... NEVER..... STOP. Ever.

Every joint of my body slides out of alignment on a daily basis. I truly feel like I have no cartilage left in several places. Sometimes my feet and knees will pop multiple times with EVERY.....DAMN......STEP. My neck has been out of alignment for 10 years. For two years I went through near fainting spells every time I stood up. I get heart palpitations and am 60% more likely to have a mitral valve prolapse. All this is on top of the severe allergies to cats bees pollen dust. I NEVER STOP SNEEZING. Lets not forget the lightning migranes- every time a storm rolls through I'm bed bound...

I have one parent dead from cancer and the other is working on it. 80% with her cancer are still alive after five years, except if you have the type 2 group, and guess what- she's got that too. If I do make it to a wheelchair it prolly won't be for long at least...

Ironically, almost all my problems are related to the same genes that cause Ehler-Danlos and Loeys-Deitz. My father had many characteristics of the first and my grandpa, the latter. So now I know.

Now, Chris, what do YOU think I should focus on, O mighty one? hmmmm? 'Cause I'd love to know. Unfortunately, it has taken me too long to type this and I have several spasms at the moment so I have to go lie down... but according to you I should just ignore that????????

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Monday, October 28, 2013 9:16 PM

MDeities

Are the doctors you've seen 100% useless ...
They don't know what's wrong and could care less,
but please be sure to keep your appointment next month?

Or maybe outright into malpractice?

Probably you have looked into alternative health care?

===================================== :>

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Monday, October 28, 2013 9:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
Now, Chris, what do YOU think I should focus on, O mighty one?

Okay, you've schooled me here and I'm sorry for seeming like a jerk. Really. I have no answers for you. I only wish you well. Please accept my most humble of apologies. You are so articulate & lively on this site that I had no idea of the extent of your problems... exercise, vitamins, meditation, chiropractic, Tai-Chi... I'm at a loss, I'm really sorry. Like most males, I need to feel like I can help.
FWIW.
Signy has more to offer than I do, I'd guess.

-chris

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Monday, October 28, 2013 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Oonjerah:
MDeities

Are the doctors you've seen 100% useless ...
They don't know what's wrong and could care less,
but please be sure to keep your appointment next month?

THIS. YES. Mahgawd, yes!

Most don't even know what I'm talking about AT ALL. They don't keep up with the literature because they do it all day, but if you DON'T keep up with the studies, you can't treat or diagnose effectively!!! It's sooo stupid!!!

It took seven years of "I pop and crack all freaking day" to get one doctor to say "Hypermobility"...Even then, there is NO treatments, no studies, no herbals that help. Nothing.

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Monday, October 28, 2013 11:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:

Okay, you've schooled me here and I'm sorry for seeming like a jerk. Really. I have no answers for you. I only wish you well. Please accept my most humble of apologies.

Accepted.

It's not something I want to talk about, mostly because it's ghastly, and because most people can't understand. But it beats me some days and I have to.
Some cultures think talking about your health burdens the people you speak to, and to some extent I believe that, but at the same time, if we never talk about it it will take longer to treat...

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Monday, October 28, 2013 11:04 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2478418/Think-cold-fingers-w
inter-Spare-thought-woman-Spanish-patients-hands-turn-purple-white-exposed-cold.html

This what yer ma has Byte?

Funny this should pop up today...

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Monday, October 28, 2013 11:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2478418/Think-cold-fingers-w
inter-Spare-thought-woman-Spanish-patients-hands-turn-purple-white-exposed-cold.html

This what yer ma has Byte?

Funny this should pop up today...

HEY, that happens to me- I just shake blood into them. It's a syndrome? I figured it for low blood pressure or something...

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 4:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
Quote:
Originally posted by Oonjerah:
MDeities

Are the doctors you've seen 100% useless ...
They don't know what's wrong and could care less,
but please be sure to keep your appointment next month?

THIS. YES. Mahgawd, yes!

Most don't even know what I'm talking about AT ALL. They don't keep up with the literature because they do it all day, but if you DON'T keep up with the studies, you can't treat or diagnose effectively!!! It's sooo stupid!!!

It took seven years of "I pop and crack all freaking day" to get one doctor to say "Hypermobility"...Even then, there is NO treatments, no studies, no herbals that help. Nothing.

I feel ya, and I really wish I had some answers for ya, but alas the only suggestion I can offer is the only one which has ever helped me at all, turn to "mad" science and doctors who are crazy enough to try it.
Conventional medicine has ever been an ineffective and often counterproductive hassle for me - hell, last time around they damn near killed me with it and it was only the "mad" doctor everyone else was ignoring who came through with an eleventh hour lunatic notion that horrified the rest of them.

Of course even stuff that "works" comes with its own cost of suffering, I can walk yeah, but remember the price the original non-disneyfied little mermaid paid for those legs, well....

I know the rage, the bitterness, almost but not quite jealousy, and how your world shrinks until all that's left is that next few steps, getting to the cabinet door, or even hell, just managing to roll out of bed - till there's no ROOM in there for anyone else and especially not their problems or cares, and if I had an answer I'd happily share.

For mine own I've long since said fuck-it and focused on quality of life rather than mere quantity, so I indulge in a large degree of hedonism and why the hell not, for folks so medically messed up what the hell else do we have - sure as shit the stupid dumbass religious puritannical notion that deprivation and suffering are good for you is downright evil in my opinion so fuck em with a rusty muffler, far as I am concerned.

Do what makes YOU and the people YOU care about happy, to hell with anyone elses idea of what should.

-Frem

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 9:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:

I feel ya, and I really wish I had some answers for ya, but alas the only suggestion I can offer is the only one which has ever helped me at all, turn to "mad" science and doctors who are crazy enough to try it.

rather than mere quantity, so I indulge in a large degree of hedonism and why the hell not,

I went through a couple years where like a lotta people I tried every thing that came one my radar. The only thing I came up with was Anaztaxanthin (sp?) supplement when I get the migraines. I literally started with A in doing supplements alphabetically. I just got tired of it. And I realized
that because the problem is genetic it's doubtful ANY single compound is going to effect any change...The DNA is broken.

As for the hedonism...I got a kid yanno...
But I'm totally on board with the legalizing weed thing. If she ever moves out

I never could drink that much, and I'm too fat for me to ever be comfortable with being a swinger

though I think I'd be great at it

I know things

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 9:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2478418/Think-cold-fingers-w
inter-Spare-thought-woman-Spanish-patients-hands-turn-purple-white-exposed-cold.html

This what yer ma has Byte?

Funny this should pop up today...

If it's Raynaud's then yeah. The freaky blood mutation doesn't exactly help though.

Hmm, you have calcification arthritis clearly, but you mentioned you also had some rheumatoid arthritis? I have a theory about how pain and inflammation cycle back into each other. The pain relieving aspects of certain recreational substances might actually be beneficial in stopping the feedback loop.

I am guessing that your worthless doctors are as stingy with pain medication as Frem's are.

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 10:25 AM

July-Aug 2013 Mother Jones mag.
page 48: "Happy Microbes, Skinny Jeans".

At 1st glance, article is about research on causes of obesity
done by Dr. Paresh Dandona, NY. But read on & find it's about
how we make ourselves healthy or not, & obesity is a symptom
of poor health. Once I got past the language, biochemicalese,
choosing to be healthy looked pretty simple.

The article is online:
http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2013/04/gut-microbiome-bacteria
-weight-loss

It's too sciency for me, & took days to settle into my brain cell as
a more-or-less understood fact of my body. The what to do next
part was easier: eat probiotics & fiber. Stop feeding my endotoxins
so much.

As for the ultimate "Feed Your Good Microbes" diet, I want to
know more, like there's a stage 2? Kind of waiting on that.

I learned of this almost 2 months ago. Went for it, but not in a
perfectionist way. And the shape I'm in, figure detox could take
6 months.

After 2 or 3 weeks dieting (never hungry; I eat as much as I
want; I only changed what I eat), I had to dig in the drawer for
a smaller pair of town-pants. Then again later. I guess I went
from size 18 to size 14. But I wasn't so concerned about the
weight. I just wanted to feel better physically, but mostly
mentally.
If I ever get a break in the Tinnitus, I'll let you know.

One other thing: This information came to me in a magical kismet way.
I haven't seen a copy of Mother Jones mag since the hippy days. And
I would never have found & read that article on my own. Circumstances
put it in my path & almost forced me to read it.

===============
A man's gotta know his gut.

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 11:03 AM

I have my doubts that most of the probiotics on the market even DO anything. There are thousands of strains that marketers CLAIM are probiotic, but only a few strains have actually been tested. I think there's a lot of scam in the probiotic industry.

If you have found something that works for you, then good, by all means. Fiber fills up your stomach to reduce the concentration of stomach acid so the bacteria have a better chance of survival, and also promotes regularity that can lead to weight-loss. But one person's diet may not always work for another person. And for weight-loss, I would always question any program that doesn't include both diet AND exercise. And it seems that exercise is what's difficult in Wishimay's case, though she said that she manages a half mile, which is impressive considering the conditions.

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Tuesday, October 29, 2013 11:21 AM

I wasn't talking about a program. I don't really have one yet.
I'm Experimenting.

I was talking about a single, new-to-me discovery for improved
health.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 1:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:

I am guessing that your worthless doctors are as stingy with pain medication as Frem's are.

Actually, I've been offered several times. If I could take a pill that would make me feel like I used to, I'd be a complete addict by tomorrow.
You ever seen a person that lives by the pill? They rot by the pill. Literally, that stuff kills circulation and nerve ending and brain cells... It's not a solution. I got a husband to keep sane and a kid for which I am that only person in the whole world that understands her and what she goes through.

I've lived through moments I never thought a person could. I try to compare my every day to those moments and remind myself I lived through that, I can get through today...

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 1:43 AM

Quote:
I've lived through moments I never thought a person could. I try to compare my every day to those moments and remind myself I lived through that, I can get through today...

This is going to sound weaksauce again, but I think I know what you mean again. I've spent nights barefoot in shorts and tshirts in the snow before just because I gave up. I call it my backup plan. But, I'm still around and at this point I think nothing short of being shot, stabbed, or lighting myself on fire will do the trick. And that's just too much effort, unless I piss someone off enough to do it for me. :/ So I guess I'm stuck here for a while.

Sort of similar in a not really similar way... Or not at all. Sorry, maybe I'm not really helping you that much, like usual. But, I think what you said is maybe the best that anyone can do when life decides to beat on you for a while.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 9:04 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Oonjerah:

The article is online:
http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2013/04/gut-microbiome-bacteria
-weight-loss

Thanks SO much man, that's an awesome article!

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 4:50 PM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

A lot of it common sense, which people don't seem to possess to much.

Dont eat or drink

highly processed foods, especially those with high sugar/fat content. Dont eat them EVER. That includes all foods from chains like MacDonalds, KFC but also things like donuts, hamburgers, "cookies", store bought sauces, chips, snack foods etc., breakfast cereals.

No margarines.
Watch your oils - choose olive oil, nut oils

Soft drinks/pop/sodas (whatever you call them) neither the full sugar version nor the diet versions

Cook from scratch. Lots of leafy greens, lightly cooked. Make sure you eat lots of vegies of different colours with every meal.

Eat fruit whole not juiced.

Only buy good quality meat and fish. Never in processed forms.

Choose wholegrains where possible.

Drink water.

If you want to go a bit extra - remove gluten and sugar from your diet completely - even for a month or two to see if you notice any difference.

Move your body as much as you can. Some gentle exercise every day.

My initials are not MD for nothing :)

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 6:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
But, I'm still around and at this point I think nothing short of being shot, stabbed, or lighting myself on fire will do the trick. And that's just too much effort...

Having been in my time, beaten, shot, stabbed, set on fire, dragged behind a truck (by accident, and only for a few seconds), pitched off a two story building, in a car that rolled six times, clobbered with a length of pipe, strangled with a bicycle chain, T-boned on a motor scooter at a combined 80mph by a luxury car, had concrete blocks dropped on me, vaulted headfirst over the handlebars of a small motorcycle when the rear wheel locked up, starved, denied critical medical care, poisoned, tear gassed, nerve gassed and assaulted by my own immune system....
Well let's just say if I ever do bite it convincing most of the people I know its true would be a trick, we might pass out wooden stakes at the viewing... to make SURE, you know ?

Mind you, all but one of those I got back up, knocked the dust off and wandered away cussing.
You *have* to have a sense of humor about it past a certain point or you just go insane, well, more insane.

-Frem

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 7:43 PM

Quote:
Well let's just say if I ever do bite it convincing most of the people I know its true would be a trick, we might pass out wooden stakes at the viewing... to make SURE, you know ?

Pfft, jokes on them then. I don't even think inscribed silver bullets would work.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 8:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by FREMDFIRMA:
Mind you, all but one of those I got back up, knocked the dust off and wandered away cussing.
You *have* to have a sense of humor about it past a certain point or you just go insane, well, more insane.

You really ARE Snake Plissken, man. I salute you!

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 9:30 PM

Wile E. Coyote

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 9:49 PM

He's one baaad motherfu- SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

What?? you know I'm just talkin' 'bout Frem...

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013 10:35 PM

Actually Chris, and you'd appreciate this, the best comparison I heard was to Bond Villain "Jaws"...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaws_%28James_Bond%29

Quote:
Jaws also has an uncanny ability to survive any misfortune seemingly unscathed and come back to challenge Bond again. In The Spy Who Loved Me, Jaws survives an Egyptian structure's collapse on top of him, being hit by a van, being thrown from a rapidly-moving train, sitting in the passenger seat of a car which veers off a cliff in Sardinia and lands in a hut below (to the owner's dismay), a battle underwater with a shark, and the destruction of Stromberg's lair. In Moonraker, he survives falling several thousand feet after accidentally disabling his own parachute (he falls through a circus tent and lands in the trapeze net), a crash through a building inside a runaway cable car (where he meets Dolly), and going over Iguazu Falls. After each of these incidents (except the last), he always picks himself up, dusts off his jacket, straightens his tie and nonchalantly walks away.

Even funnier is I actually kind of have the teeth - given how ridiculously freaking expensive dental prosthetics are, I figured I was going to damn well get my moneys worth and opted to have the upper front canines extended about 3/8"
(think Londo Mollari, not Dracula) and sharpened to points.

Of course, not helping is a ladyfriend a few days ago calling me the "only vampire LESS scary than Count Chocula", but yeah, I went *that* far, the residents find it terribly amusing, the local yahoos... not so much.

-Frem

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Saturday, November 2, 2013 3:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
It used to be 1. It really did.

Then I grew up....

P.S. I asked something like this some years back, btw...

http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.aspx?bid=11&tid=46404&mid=81808
1#818081

Also, I logged into the name I had when I first came here, and I used to be waaay happier then...

Maybe it was just the initial high of finding a place that made sense to me and that finally wore off?

Maybe I've read waay toooo many bad news stories and have started seeing all people as potential psychopaths??

Maybe it was me realizing that there are only three people in the entire world that have ever cared a minute about me...out of 8 BILLION people...

Maybe it was the realization that my genes are cursed and I'm probably gonna die a horrible death...no, really it's now 99.9% certain (as now my mother has cancer as well and that makes 10 in the last 20 years) and that NO ONE can fix me...

Maybe it was realizing that my living hasn't been so great either, and that it doesn't stand a chance of changing anytime soon...

Maybe it was realizing there is not anything at all anyone can do to save this mudball on a path to hell?

Whatever is was that changed....I don't think I'm going to find any kind of peace with humanity ever again....I don't think there's any kind of drug or religion or moment that will ever fix what I've lost, and the sad thing is I don't feel anything about THAT either....

I've heard it said that the internets never forgets anything, and that one day every word that will have ever have been written will be a part of a new omniscient consciousness.....I sure hope IT can figure out what went wrong here, 'cause I just dunno

Hey Wish :)

Sorry to hear things is so tough with you :(

One of my favorite lines on a show ever was on Justified... "Growing old isn't for pussies".

I came to terms with my lack of immortality around my mid-20's and have been all but obsessed with "age" ever since. At the same time, I repeat many behaviors every single day that I know I shouldn't repeat. I wish smoking and drinking were the only ones. I went to a new eye-doctor just today for contacts. I basically got bitch-slapped for my terrible habit of sleeping with my contacts in, where my previous doctor used kid gloves about it. In nearly 15 years of sleeping with my contacts in, although I've never gotten an infection, I have 1mm rings of blood vessels that have developed around my iris' that will continue to grow until they cover my pupils and I'm blind if I don't stop these bad habits. They are microscopic and you could never notice them with the naked eye, but when they cover your pupil I guess you may as well be blind.

I wish I didn't do a lot of things that I do. I've been tearing myself apart just a little every day since my late teens. At this point, I'm kinda afraid of actually going to a "real" doctor for a checkup. Not only am I quite confident that I'm Hypertension 2, but I wonder if I have an enlarged heart. I'm still very strong and I get a lot of physical work done at my job, but even in these cold months I can sweat profusely at times and people ask if I'm alright.

Life dealt you a shitty hand, that's for sure. But at the same time, you have a husband and a daughter you care very much about. Although you could never be 100% and much of the damage done is not reversible, I'm sure there are dietary and physical changes you could make to lessen their impact to not only improve the quality of your own life, but in turn improve the quality of their life when you're in less pain and don't have to work so hard to be pleasant to be around.

The one great thing I picked up from your posts here is that you can make sure that the problems you will have to face due to ignorance to your allergies will help your daughter hopefully never have to face those problems.

Sure, you're daughter will have issues she has to deal with for the rest of her life that most other people won't have to deal with, but if she's surrounded with and continues to surround herself with people who care about her than she will have the necessary incentives to do the right thing by her body in times of temporary weakness because she won't only be living for herself.

My maladies are of my own creation. I am completely at fault for all of the physical destruction I do to myself. Resent me for the continuing destruction of what was once good if it helps, but I only bring it up because even though our problems stem from very different roots, they are un-fixable problems that we'll have to deal with for the rest of our lives.

My worst malady is my unbridled mind, and how i can both enhance and destroy it at the same time with booze and drugs. Had we been talking today and I had a wife and a 12 year old kid, I'd like to think that I was living the paradigm of good health.

All that being said... I say "1", chrisisall.

Anyone jaded enough to believe 2 is living on borrowed time.

I think Logan's Run had it right.

Do you have any idea how awesome I would have been if I knew at 5 years old that I'd only live until 30?

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Saturday, November 2, 2013 10:06 PM

Quote:
Had we been talking today and I had a wife and a 12 year old kid, I'd like to think that I was living the paradigm of good health.

pffft hahahaha. I can't even imagine the shrewbeast you'd get yourself shackled down - or rather the person you'd refer to as a shrewbeast because they keep taking your booze and alcohol.

So yeah, no. Wishimay is married, and she has a kid, and that's important, she has a net positive value in her life, she has something to live for. But if you have a problem before you're married, you'll have the same problem when you're married.

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Monday, November 4, 2013 12:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
Quote:
Had we been talking today and I had a wife and a 12 year old kid, I'd like to think that I was living the paradigm of good health.

pffft hahahaha. I can't even imagine the shrewbeast you'd get yourself shackled down - or rather the person you'd refer to as a shrewbeast because they keep taking your booze and alcohol.

So yeah, no. Wishimay is married, and she has a kid, and that's important, she has a net positive value in her life, she has something to live for. But if you have a problem before you're married, you'll have the same problem when you're married.

Haha.... :)

I would actually very much pity the "shrewbeast" that was shackled down with me 10 years ago if somehow I was still the man today with her that I am today.

I actually think I did potential women in my life in the past a great service by passing up on them. None of them could cure me of my afflictions, so none of them would be sufficient mates in the long run. Ten years later, when they haven't figured out how to attach the leash on my neck, they'd be pretty sad when they married young into my paid for life with an ironclad pre-nup and had no "hand".

Thanks for the memories, Flo.....

"Net Postitive Values" are shit, when talking about them in quotes. Any relationship I recklessly wander into comes with me having to protect my house and nest-egg.

WISH'S "Net Postive Values" are what matter....

I'm quite sure I couldn't even begin to fathom how difficult it is to raise a child with a loving spouse, but to raise one with painful maladies they'll live the rest of their lives with through no fault of their own....

Make that Girl Strong Wish!!!!!

I'm a drunk, Byte's a hopeless Nihilist, and Frem's the best goddamned security guard anyone could be blessed with. And it's quite possible that any or all of those adjectives could be applied to any one of us at any time.

The idea that a young woman I have grown to care about and her child could possibly be inflicted with more physical pain than the emotional pain my siblings and I had to deal with is very heart wrenching.

Aside from Cancer ailments, and my youngest brothers brain hemorrhage, I'm not aware of any physical ailments in my lineage.

I'm rarely one to get headaches though, and hopefully you could forgive me when any time I get one that I wonder if I will die. Half of my life when I was 11 years old for over a year was spent in that stark white hospital, wondering if my brother would ever be normal.

It turns out he's WAY out of NORMAL range in the long run. Far be it for me to judge if it's in the right or wrong way though.

Have I ever spent a night in NYC on a park bench with a camera case handcuffed to me while sleeping? NO. Have I ever taken a cross-country trip on a railroad to photograph everything I saw? NO. Have I ever had police in a foreign state wake me up to inspect my luggage while I was sleeping on a park bench? NO...

My "disabled" brother has done upwards of 100 things I never would have.

I tip my hat to him... ;)

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Monday, November 4, 2013 12:54 PM

I've been pretty hard on you lately so I'm going to take it easier on you with this post because I think you're being genuine.

Quote:
I'm rarely one to get headaches though, and hopefully you could forgive me when any time I get one that I wonder if I will die. Half of my life when I was 11 years old for over a year was spent in that stark white hospital, wondering if my brother would ever be normal.

It is inspirational to see what your brother has gone on to do in spite of everything. I am sorry about your headaches and having to go through that.

Quote:
The idea that a young woman I have grown to care about and her child could possibly be inflicted with more physical pain than the emotional pain my siblings and I had to deal with is very heart wrenching.

That was also a very nice sentiment.

Quote:
Any relationship I recklessly wander into comes with me having to protect my house and nest-egg.

Going off the rails here to say:

One really does have to wonder what gave you such a crippling fear of women.

Not saying that alimony and pre-nups aren't a thing or that they aren't unfair to guys, but you kinda take them into the realm of a phobia. I wonder who you've been listening to that has convinced you that all women are soulless golddiggers out only to take from what men have rightfully earned.

Is this the result of your dad's divorce? I seem to remember you mentioning this. I seem to remember your mother was... neglectful? You felt like your dad did a better job raising you and maybe some step-siblings, and maybe he had to fight for custody.

It's also strange to me how attached people are to their houses in situations like this. I have an uncle deep in bankruptcy with a legitimate manipulative shrewbeast wife who cheated on him and doesn't seem to comprehend basic economics and finances. She is mostly responsible for emptying the banking accounts and who doesn't seem to realize that he DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY that she was asking for in the settlement. He can't afford the house, she can't afford the house. But instead of giving her the house and letting her hang herself with her inability to hold the debt, the house became something that they fought over even though it had negative value for either of them.

Something to think about.

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Monday, November 4, 2013 1:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:
I've been pretty hard on you lately so I'm going to take it easier on you with this post because I think you're being genuine.

Quote:
I'm rarely one to get headaches though, and hopefully you could forgive me when any time I get one that I wonder if I will die. Half of my life when I was 11 years old for over a year was spent in that stark white hospital, wondering if my brother would ever be normal.

It is inspirational to see what your brother has gone on to do in spite of everything. I am sorry about your headaches and having to go through that.

Quote:
The idea that a young woman I have grown to care about and her child could possibly be inflicted with more physical pain than the emotional pain my siblings and I had to deal with is very heart wrenching.

That was also a very nice sentiment.

Quote:
Any relationship I recklessly wander into comes with me having to protect my house and nest-egg.

Going off the rails here to say:

One really does have to wonder what gave you such a crippling fear of women.

Not saying that alimony and pre-nups aren't a thing or that they aren't unfair to guys, but you kinda take them into the realm of a phobia. I wonder who you've been listening to that has convinced you that all women are soulless golddiggers out only to take from what men have rightfully earned.

Is this the result of your dad's divorce? I seem to remember you mentioning this. I seem to remember your mother was... neglectful? You felt like your dad did a better job raising you and maybe some step-siblings, and maybe he had to fight for custody.

It's also strange to me how attached people are to their houses in situations like this. I have an uncle deep in bankruptcy with a legitimate manipulative shrewbeast wife who cheated on him and doesn't seem to comprehend basic economics and finances. She is mostly responsible for emptying the banking accounts and who doesn't seem to realize that he DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY that she was asking for in the settlement. He can't afford the house, she can't afford the house. But instead of giving her the house and letting her hang herself with her inability to hold the debt, the house became something that they fought over even though it had negative value for either of them.

Something to think about.

Thanks for the kid-gloves Niki.... Been kinda beat up by my new Optomitrist...

Somehow, my father, even with his first horrible marriage and all of the child support and all the subsequent support he has given his "man-children" over the years is entirely excessive.

The ONLY reason it has kept up all of these years is because my dad is one of the good guys and he'd put any one of his children's' lives before his own.

I don't care if I die tomorrow... I will die defending his intentions..... and he would HATE the fact that I was doing so...

I'm thrilled that my step-bro and half-bro got Top-Notch college for free. One of them is getting post-grad for free and teaching kids potentially 2 years younger than they are as part of their admittance to the post-grad program.

I admit, I would have pisseed it away if it were given to me.

I'll be the AWESOMEST UNCLE EVER!!!!

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Monday, November 4, 2013 2:40 PM

Quote:
Thanks for the kid-gloves Niki....

...

*rage*

*table flip*

*ruination*

*exit*

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Monday, November 4, 2013 3:47 PM

I know Byte....

Have you ever watched American Psycho?

My life is kinda like the last 5 minutes of that movie.

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Monday, November 4, 2013 10:48 PM

Thanks for the support Jack. I've read all you wrote, I'm just fried the last couple days and not up to sittin and concentrating much...
Thanks

Unfortunately, now I have to go finish my kids 300th crossword puzzle for her again. What part of "SHE SEES THINGS BACKWARDS ALLLREAAADY!!!" is so hard for them to get???

Special needs kids really shouldn't be mainstreamed, but then we don't have enough people who would get it that could help any other way.

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Thursday, November 7, 2013 1:26 PM

Hey Wish :)

No worries. Glad to hear from you. Don't ever feel you have to write a long reply to my mindlessly verbose meanderings.

If somebody is trying to get your daughter to learn something the same way that hasn't worked 100 times before, you might be better prepared to teach her on your own. I can't imagine how frustrating that can be for you and her, but if you try new approaches when old ones aren't effective, maybe one day you'll stumble on the Rosetta Stone you both desire.

There's a brilliant world she's living in her own imagination. She's not even really aware of any physical "problems" she has. She grew up with them and they are her "normal" now. She's just waiting for somebody to show her the route to be the person she can successfully be when she grows up.

Maybe I'm out of line here, and I apologize ahead of time if I am......

My advice is to focus on any of your daughter's ailments ONLY when administering any home medical regimen she requires. Kids are REALLY tough. If she's learning good habits to take care of any extra things she'll need to do for the rest of her life now, she won't have a problem with them later in life.

Any "pain" she feels now is normal to her. She will naturally grow up stronger than most women and even likely most men in pain tolerance as well as being able to focus on critical thinking while dealing with "outside stresses".

Your job, Mom, is to instill the love and caring and 1/2 of the happy married parent life to her. Give her a reason to grow up wanting to have the perfect wedding with the perfect guy and that white picket fence.

STOP watching the news and reading these horrible online news stories.

EVIL was ALWAYS here.

There never was Light without Darkness.

No matter what number of what "year" Humankind arrogantly labels their short stamp on Time, everything is always the same as it ever was......

Cheer up Girl :)

I got your (figurative, internet) back ;)

The days are getting cold, but the holidays are coming soon!

Let's do something really special for somebody close to us this year. Never know which Christmas will be our Last Christmas, right?

Maybe if we talk about it here you'll keep me honest and I won't go another Christmas talking myself out of buying presents because I can't afford it. I'm sure we can think of non-expensive presents that knock them on their ass, right?

;)
Love ya girl.

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Saturday, November 9, 2013 2:04 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:
Special needs kids really shouldn't be mainstreamed, but then we don't have enough people who would get it that could help any other way

The schools, they say "We're educators not therapists" But sometimes therapy IS the only way to educate.

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Saturday, November 9, 2013 2:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:
Special needs kids really shouldn't be mainstreamed, but then we don't have enough people who would get it that could help any other way
The schools, they say "We're educators not therapists" But sometimes therapy IS the only way to educate.

And imagine how much public school would cost if every educator was also a therapist.......

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Saturday, November 9, 2013 11:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
And imagine how much public school would cost if every educator was also a therapist...

Still less than wars and alphabet agencies which are more a threat to us than any foreign power.

Oh, and...

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
The schools, they say "We're educators not therapists" But sometimes therapy IS the only way to educate.

Bunny Colvin lays it out, here.

-Frem

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Sunday, November 10, 2013 6:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Hey Wish :)

There's a brilliant world she's living in her own imagination. She's not even really aware of any physical "problems" she has.

Give her a reason to grow up wanting to have the perfect wedding with the perfect guy and that white picket fence.

STOP watching the news and reading these horrible online news stories.

EVIL was ALWAYS here.

There never was Light without Darkness.

Cheer up Girl :)

I got your (figurative, internet) back ;)

;)
Love ya girl.

I do appreciate what you are trying to do, seriously. I think it's the most effort anyone's ever put into worrying about my state of mind.

You may be half crazy, but you are half awesome too...

Unfortunately, I doubt anything is ever going to work. Hubbs and I are both the kind of people who wake up every day and KNOW something is horribly horribly wrong here. Nothing feels right. It's not about brain chemistry for us- it's the feeling that this is some bizarre alternate universe. I read the bad news because I need a daily reminder that someone out there is having a MUCH MUCH worse day than I am. And my kid DOES know there is something wrong with her too, It's hard not too. It affects everything it means to be a kid. Memory problems, balance, speed, coordination, diet, energy. It's like everyone else got a grade a body and we got leftover parts... Really can't NOT notice it. (I would homeschool, but at this age they need to be around other kids still, and I don't know a lot of 'em)

It's not like getting married and having kids fixes it either, or I would be happy. I can't help but want to throw up every time I do ANOTHER FREAKING LOAD OF DISHES, laundy, vacuum, ECT ECT ECT ECT ECT ECT...
It's all such a meaningless repetition. Maybe some people love it but I doubt I ever will. I can't help but feel like aliens left me here and some day I'm going to go where things make sense.

I dunno

I just dunno....

P.S. I should prolly mention I'm agnostic and Christmas is just one more reason I'm in alien land, but by all means- go ahead and enjoy yourself, 'K?

Thanks, Jack

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Sunday, November 10, 2013 7:16 PM

1KIKI

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

'... how your world shrinks until all that's left is that next few steps ...' or the next breath, or the next heartbeat. We are a beat-up lot, I think.

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Sunday, November 10, 2013 9:06 PM