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Rick Perry is really starting to annoy me.

When Rick Perry announced he was running for president back on August 13, to tell you the truth I got a little excited.

Now I know what you're thinking -- you are a big Democrat, why on earth would you be excited about Perry running for president? And as Ricky used to tell Lucy -- I got some 'splainin to do.

This was my thinking: Perry would get in and he would be a major force. After all he was governor of the state of Texas, great hair, been around politics for a while.

He was the bona fide conservative complete with a pedigree to take on Romney. A giant fight to the death would ensue and they would bludgeon each other half to death -- you get the picture.

Honestly, I enjoy nothing more than two Republicans going after each other. Secondly, when politics is interesting it is actually good for me. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a cable television commentator -- the more interesting the campaign, the more coverage, the more I'm on TV -- you get the drift.

Also, as some of you may be aware of, I've been known to give a speech or two in return for remuneration. The people that plan these sorts of things generally hire more political speakers when politics is interesting and in turn I'll make more money and then John Boehner and Eric Cantor will start referring to me as a job creator.

With the way things are shaping up now, the event planners might be more inclined to take a motivational speaker, a magician, or a square dance troop. Hey Rick -- you are costing me airtime and money.

Third, there is a dirty little secret about political people that I'm going to share with you. These political people include operatives, politicians, volunteers, bloviators, journalists, pundits, columnists, staffers -- we actually like politics and campaigns.

Maybe you, like me, are a baseball fan. If you are, you want seven games because you actually like baseball. The same goes for politics -- if you really love it, you hope for a good race that goes on and you enjoy watching people who are skilled at doing this.

It is literally painful to watch Rick Perry as a candidate. The case could be made that Rick Perry is the worst debater to ever run for president.

As far as I know he can't even give a good speech. His appearance before the uber-right-winged Values Voters Summit was universally trashed.

Not only can he not give an interview, he can't even roll out his stupid flat tax plan. He steps all over it by saying, "Oh by the way, it's optional anyway." He has managed to couple the flat tax with the IRS bureaucracy in one sentence. Way to go Rick.

I'll be blunt with all you Perry supporters, it's time to butter your guy because he's toast. Every day it's a new dumb thing. From birtherism, to convoluted tax policy, to inarticulate attacks, to woeful ignorance and even stupidity on foreign policy (Pakistani country? Please), to placing his wife under such stress that she is lashing out at everything around her.

Not only is Rick Perry utterly incapable of running for president, he can't run his state, and in fact can't meet the basic requirement for any politician -- he can't even run his mouth.

As if he hasn't made a big enough fool of himself, he decides to go out and have lunch with Donald Trump and falls for the birther strategy. Good God, can this guy do anything? I guess I should be fair to him, he has shown that he can get the same people he gave contracts to as governor of Texas to contribute to his campaign. Wow, what an achievement.

To tell you the truth, it's gotten so bad people in Louisiana are actually starting to make Texas jokes.

If this thing gets any worse the people in Mississippi will be making Texas jokes -- then you've really hit rock bottom.

Rick, you have managed to embarrass yourself and irritate the hell out of me. So I guess you are good at something after all.

PS: See where the media is reporting that Perry is "retooling" his campaign. I think their problem is with the Indian, not the arrow. http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/28/opinion/carville-rick-perry/index.html?h
pt=hp_t2

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So was Rick Perry drunk or stoned during his babbling, hilarious speech he delivered in New Hampshire over the weekend? The jury is still out, but in the meantime the GOP hopeful tells ABC News that there is a good reason for his bizarre behavior.

According to the Republican candidate, he just, well — he was just feeling good, alright?

“It was a great crowd. Good response, and I guess you can do anything you want with a video and make it look any way you want, but I felt good, felt great,” Perry told reporters with ABC today from a Des Moines eatery today. Following his appearance on Sunday in New Hampshire, the presidential hopeful has already retreated to Iowa where the state has been conducting a series of straw polls.

Perry himself looked like he was conducting something, perhaps an imaginary orchestra or a make-believe band of insects as he waved his hands frantically, gestured with enthusiasm and belted out hilarious quotables on Sunday that will be sure to haunt him for what little time is left during his run for the Republican nod. Once a frontrunner, Perry has plunged in the polls in recent weeks, now taking a backseat to pizzaman Herman Cain’s surge in popularity.

Regardless of how the media is making Sunday’s speech out to be (and believe me, they are having a field day), Perry doesn’t seem too bothered by the aftermath which has since left bloggers, pundits and the American public asking “What the Hell was Rick Perry on?”

Perry managed to attract a great deal of criticism following Sunday’s speech, where he offered up such whimsical and brilliant political fodder that only a president could come up with, such as “This is such a cool state — I mean, come on. Live free or die? You gotta love that!”

Perry tried to appeal to the New Hampshire audience by relating his home back in Texas to the local crowd as well. “I come from a state where they had this little place called the Alamo and they declared victory or death,” said Perry. “We’re kinda into those slogans, man. Live free or do; victory or death. Bring it!”

“I think the message got across very well, so it was a good speech,” Perry told reporters at Drake’s Diner earlier today while munching on a veggie rarebit burger alongside Iowa Lieutenant Governor Kim Reynolds .

A veggie rarebit burger? Sounds like someone’s got a case of the munchies.

Following Sunday’s speech, Manchester, New Hampshire Mayor Ted Gatsas described the rant, often punctuated with exaggerated arm motions, squinty-eyed smiles and double-thumbs up as “different.”

“The governor is passionate about the issues he talks about,” a Perry spokesperson responded after the event. http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/03/perry-i-wasnt-drunk-or
-on-drugs/; he's passionate. Work for you?