I wanted to make an official apology.... by PIRATENEWS

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I wanted to make an official apology....

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 00:30
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Tuesday, January 1, 2013 12:30 AM

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

HOLIDAY SCRIPT

To all the SNL writing staff that I ruined their holiday celebrations due to exposing Hillary and crew, making them work franticly as they try to figure out how to write her out of the game, but challenged as to how they will squeeze what ever legend juice she has left so then can use it to sell some more BULL**** documentaries or book. Maybe they will have an ExPlan where at 3:33pm a Crazed Black Ron Paul Shirt wearing Truther, who sold everything he owned thinking the world was going to end last week when the Mayans said it would (but kept his APPLE ear buds which he was wearing so he could listen to gaga of course, (cant forget those product placements spots) became the target of internet bullying because of his views that Obama and the Hawaiian hospital faked his birth records, decides to storm the hospital, that just so happens to be the one where Hillary is supposedly recovering, and pulls off the first active shooter event of the new year.

Hillary being such the brave American (hey, isn't her testimony regarding the whitewater scandal still sealed?? Oh well we can write that out of the history books and no one will ever remember anywhoo...) saves the day even though she takes the 33 and final bullet in the same place as Giffords. Unfortunately before she could tackle the gunman, he managed to shoot 31 white children and 1 of the hospitals therapy dogs named "Twink" (fortunately the dog survived, but it will need your donations because ....well just because it does, but hurry up we don't know if he will make it without your cash) but back to the story...

Hillary although having a through wound in her head manages to wrestle the GLOCK from the gunman's hands. As she does she yells "NO MORE LISTS" then falls to the floor and dies.

After examining the dead gunman (who was so frustrated that Hillary took his gun pulled out a BUTTERFLY knife and stabs himself 33 times in his eye (must be an illuminati MK Ultra mind controlled person) is discovered to have 3 more Glock semi auto handguns with 33 bullets in each, and a note confessing to his planed attack and signed Richard I. Rann, a local water treatment plant fluoride technician (get it? the dick jokes a plenty)

Making Hillary a national hero saving the lives of all those others he would have shot and not to forget would additionally killed after he went to his car to get his assault riffle and 333rounds he had ready to go on the back seat of his pinto. Hillary, now a legend for the rest of history is rewarded by Obama as being the reason he signed the bill removing all guns from the hands of the people.

In addition due to her brave act and service to the country makes March 3rd 2013 (03/03/2013) National Hillary Bush...Doh! I mean Clinton day.

The end.

DAMN I just wrote the end of her script, so now the writers have nothing to do. CRAP

Epilog

At the 'fun'-eral, there will be a 33-gun salute, 9 pallbearers, and Bill Clinton will be escorted by 11 vestal virgins carrying the lastest cover of Cigar Aficionado magazine. What character will she play next? Ear to the ground rumors are that a prequel, sequel and a trilogy are in the works.

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