Vaccines activate moron genes, cause further belief in vaccines by piratenews

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Vaccines activate moron genes, cause further belief in vaccines

POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Monday, March 15, 2021 08:17
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Monday, February 28, 2011 4:18 PM

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

New research accidentally conducted by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has discovered that vaccines activate the "moron" genes that normally lie dormant in human beings. Once activated, these "moron genes" cause individuals to lose higher brain function and the ability to question false information fed to them by doctors, drug companies and the media. This, in turn, results in even more people pursuing repeated vaccines, further causing expression of the moron genes, over and over again, until their brain function collapses to the level of a raw vegetable... otherwise known as a "voter."

Because of their disastrous effects on higher brain function, these vaccines are now being called "Moron Vaccines."

Moron Vaccines contain all the usual ingredients of flu vaccines and MMR vaccines, including methyl mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and DNA fragments from diseased monkey organs. (This is truly what's found in other vaccines...)

But Moron Vaccines have one ingredient that's slightly different. As Dr. All Proffit, a leading vaccine patent holder, explained, "Moron Vaccines are much like regular vaccines, except instead of taking diseased material from infected cows and monkeys, we take brain cell samples from existing morons which are easy to find among our colleagues. We then weaken those brain cells to make them even more moronic, and then we inject them into infants and children, mixed with a bit of mercury to make sure it targets the neurological system for maximum effectiveness."

The result? As Bill Gates explains, "Billions of children each year are being saved from IBFD." IBFD is short for Intelligent Brain Function Disorder. It is an affliction affecting hundreds of millions of people each year, causing them to achieve dangerously high levels of cognitive function that causes them to ask inappropriate questions about vaccines such as, "Why have vaccines never been tested against non-vaccinated children?" Or, "Why do vaccines cause some children and teens to collapse into autism, comas or death?" Or, "Why don't flu vaccines actually prevent flu symptoms in 99 out of 100 people who receive them?"

Those questions have no place in today's medical system, where the correct answer to every disease is -- as doctors are routinely taught -- "More vaccines!"

"The population is too intelligent for its own good," Dr. Proffit added. "The only way to keep people in line with the expectations of Big Government, Big Pharma and America's top employers such as McDonald's and Wal-Mart is to increase the moron density in America through a determined, long-term vaccination program carried out with the help of doctors and government medical authorities."

To financially support that program, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (BMGF) is investing over fifty billion dollars to roll out Moron Vaccines on a global scale. "This will help ensure that more people buy Microsoft products," explained Gates. "Because if they regain higher brain function, they might be tempted to run Linux instead."

The FDA granted approval to the Moron Vaccines based on the scientific clinical trial data provided by the maker of the vaccines, most of which was, believe it or not, fabricated by morons. "This is why the data are so consistently reliable," explained the company CEO. "When you're studying Moron Vaccines, who better to offer an experienced perspective than an actual moron posing as a research scientist?"

The FDA was influenced in its decision to approve the vaccines by the CDC, which recently warned that America was "suffering from an epidemic of critical thinking" that threatened the future of the U.S. government, the Federal Reserve, and the vaccine industry in particular. The source of this epidemic has been traced to Rep. Ron Paul, of course.

"People who think for themselves are a threat to the U.S. government, and they are causing problems at airports, too," said DHS secretary Janet Napolitano. "That's why we've partnered with the FDA to make sure that those suffering from Intelligent Brain Function Disorder are offered 'treatment' at every opportunity."

As part of that government treatment program, IBFD screening centers are now being erected at the airports, sports stadiums and Wal-Mart stores. Interestingly, Wal-Mart stores have so far found exactly zero people at their stores who suffer from Intelligent Brain Function Disorder. Apparently, all Wal-Mart shoppers are already cured. ( http://naturalnews.tv/v.asp?v=5A4B5...)

The TSA announced it would no longer hire anyone suffering from IBFD and would only hire workers after they have been injected with the Moron Vaccine. "Is is very important that TSA agents have achieved the lower IQs necessary for them to carry out their jobs of molesting air travelers," explained TSA head John Pistole explained. "We cannot have our agents suffering from moments of cognitive awareness while they're touching your junk. People who work in government security are better off if they simply do what they're told without asking intelligent questions or citing the Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which is a highly complex collection of sequential words that none of us can decode anymore thanks to the Moron Vaccines."

Moron Vaccines are now mandatory in medical schools, where they are given to would-be doctors are part of an indoctrination ritual. They're also mandatory in public schools, where children are being educated just enough to be obedient workers but not enough to actually question what role they're playing in the grand consumerism economic raping of the planet in the name of corporate profits.

Walgreens stores are offering Moron Vaccine Gift Cards so that you can give the gift of lower brain function to a friend or family member. If grandma is acting up again, a vaccination targeting her higher brain function may be just the ticket to a joyful, loving family picnic. That "Grandma is staring off into the distance again" look is actually family affection, remember.

Many nursing homes and retirement centers are even thinking of switching from their current model of pharmaceutically abusing patients into a tolerable state of human vegetation to the new model of just vaccinating them instead. "It's so much easier with the Moron Vaccines," explained one nursing home director. "Pills required patient consent, but vaccines can be given to patients in their sleep, and when they wake up the next morning, or at least the ones that do, they're like a whole new person... quiet, introspective and no longer argumentative."

The Moron Vaccine is such a success that even President Obama chimed in on the issue. "Moron Vaccines help keep America strong by making sure people don't ask too many questions about the coming economic collapse," he said in a recent press event. "If we can manage to vaccinate the entire population, then we can probably keep the Medicare and Social Security Ponzi schemes going a few years longer, and that protects all of us in Washington from a popular revolt like the one we saw in Egypt! The Middle East is witness to the violence and destruction that can take place when populations are allowed to contemplate higher ideals such as freedom or liberty," Obama said. "Moron Vaccines keep people comfortably numb in their lower brain functions, where they can dutifully serve the interests of the State."

So don't miss out on the Moron Vaccines! They're available free of charge at any U.S. post office. The government is also offering a special discount called, "Don't buy one, get one free!" for those who can't do math because they graduated from Madison, Wisconsin public schools -- "where education is ALWAYS secondary."

http://www.naturalnews.com/031517_moron_vaccines.html

Photos show U.S. vaccine experiments giving flu and hepatitis to disabled citizens and prison inmates
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1361275/Americas-shocking-secr
et-US-experimented-disabled-citizens-prison-inmates.html

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Monday, February 28, 2011 4:33 PM

WISHIMAY

Hey, PN, did you ever see Conspiracy Theory??

One of these days Fireflyfans is going to just up and freakin' disappear because you will actually be right about something, someday...

I don't think that day is today though...

It's always interesting on this end of the ship

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Monday, February 28, 2011 4:58 PM

DREAMTROVE

Lol. Funny header. I think that the idea is actually solid on some level: people who use the medical system more tend to question it less.

Oh, and Riona, if you're reading this, it's a rare perfect example of information that is not true, but because it is very relevant to it's topic, it is important. (this way around, and not the other. Untrue information on an important topic is not relevant.)

If you look at the underlying concept of what John is saying, there is something to it, even though he is not trying to be accurate. A close friend of mine calls this information by allegory. You can see how the nature of this, as news, is more complex than it seems. Its not propaganda, because it's not trying to convince you of anything. It is rather stabbing at a deeper truth. If you can see this truth here, you will be able to see it other places, in other stories that are not true, even when the person telling them *believes* they are true, and even if they are trying to convince you of it.

John,

Thanks, for a perfect example of what I was just alluding to. I couldn't think where I was going to dig one up as an example.

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Monday, February 28, 2011 5:25 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Oddly enough I did read this thread DT, and I say ...whatever. I see what you mean in principle I think. At the end of Big Fish (a wonderful movie, everyone should give it a try) we realize that whether the father's stories are true isn't the point, the point is that the stories show us who he is, his, his essence, which it can be said is more important than the actual events of his life. Is that what you mean DT a chara? Because if it isn't I don't know what you mean, I thought this was a rediculous story (sorry PN), so I find it hard to glean any logic or substance from it. What I'm trying to glean substance from is your post to me. This article strikes me as immature, of course you say "Then why did you look?" I'm willing to give just about anything a look on here, sometimes as you say pieces of truth can be taken from surprising places, I didn't get much from this article though, I'm sorry

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, February 28, 2011 5:41 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

I took my disabled mom to the Quack Shack today. Same hospital that murdered her husband last year for $80,000.

We spent 6 hours driving and getting electroshocked and MRIed. Probably cost Medicare $15,000.

Nothing was actually done to fix her back pain. Last time all the docs did for that was 3 EPIDURALS. No chiropractors allowed in the Quack Shack.

While waiting in a dr office, read a magazine where a local doctor bragged about amputating breasts for women WITHOUT breast cancer..."because some of her relatives had cancer". Might as well cut your legs off then, cuz maybe you'll stub your toe.

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Monday, February 28, 2011 6:07 PM

WISHIMAY

Please, lead me to an alternative of the Quack shacks. No, really. Can't stand our do-nothing docs...Or the doesn't have a clue what they're doing docs... What else is there really?

Once again I say, this IS purgatory

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Monday, February 28, 2011 6:43 PM

DREAMTROVE

Riona a chara

Close, yes. The inner truth in the nonsense here is substantive, the more people use the medical system, the more they believe in it, its like their use of it is investing their soul in it. It does not matter if it works for them, i've know many people who have been repeatedly failed by the medical establishment who believe in it more than anyone. I can see where this investment would come about, I mean, if they admitted it had failed them, they would have to admit that they should have admitted it earlier, and that the subsequent disasters they endured under it might be the result of their failure to do so.

Of course, I could say something similar about the education system or many other parts of our society.

Re: this silly piece, I suppose if theres another hidden truth its that we don't know what else is in a vaccine, and maybe it has effects that we don't know. It undoubtedly doesn't make us gay, but we don't really think about it,

On my sisters cancer, the doctors gave about half a dozen suspects. The strongest one was the chemical spill, but they didn't rule out the others, and one of the ones they mentioned was SV-40 vaccine contamination, which Frem recently mentioned in another thread.

I'm not anti-vaccine, but I'm more skeptical than I used to be, and I would consider more seriously the risks and necessity than I would have it I had not had these discussions here. Pre-FFF, I would have not considered vaccination a topic that was controversial. Now I'm not sure.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 2:23 AM

CANTTAKESKY

DT,

I'm sure I've sent this link before, but here it is again for everyone else who wants to learn a bit more about SV40.

Be sure to read Alexander's story. They link a bunch of articles that are good intros to the SV40 issue.

http://www.ouralexander.org/sv40.htm

Please note that SV40 has not been completely removed from the polio vaccine. Poor Alexander died from a brain tumor that had SV40--in 1999, WAY after 1961.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 2:28 AM

CANTTAKESKY

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
What else is there really?

There are vitamins and herbs. There is homeopathy. There is chiropractic.

Personally, I've been using homeopathy for the last 5 years. My trips to the doctors have been cut by 95%.

When I do go, I go to buy a specific service or product I have already researched and decided to get. I never go to the docs doe-eyed and open-ended to ask for their wisdom on what I should do for my health. (Snicker.)

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 8:32 AM

DREAMTROVE

Wish

Herbals. My path requires doing lots and lots of research. Be the master of your own destiny. Don't guess... know. Understand the underlying chemistry of the human body. There are only 33,000 genes to a human, you don't need magic.

CTS,

Is this just to prove I'm not your sockpuppet?

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 9:54 AM

FREMDFIRMA

That's bloody hilarious - who knew PN could write decent parody ?

As for alternatives, before conventional medicine there were old school healers who knew a thing or two, and I know a damn lot of that kinda thing, which is useful although in most cases less powerfully or immediately effective, but sometimes that's what you want, restore balance by nudges instead of a sledgehammer.

Interesting bit of history, regarding that jackass Salk - I ain't denyin his contributions, but like Pasteur, guy was an asshole, too.
http://www.courierpress.com/news/2011/feb/26/ugly-medical-experiments-
us-past-uncovered/

Quote:
A federally funded study begun in 1942 injected experimental flu vaccine in male patients at a state insane asylum in Ypsilanti, Mich., then exposed them to flu several months later. It was co-authored by Dr. Jonas Salk, who a decade later would become famous as inventor of the polio vaccine.

Some of the men weren't able to describe their symptoms, raising serious questions about how well they understood what was being done to them. One newspaper account mentioned the test subjects were "senile and debilitated." Then it quickly moved on to the promising results.

The darkly hilarious part of it all is that the building in question is now the Toyota Technical Center - which IMHO, means it hasn't changed a whole lot from an insane asylum...

-Frem

I do not serve the Blind God.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 10:25 AM

WISHIMAY

I'm not going to waste my time explaining my problems(which are as many as they are varied and impossible to pin down, I've read thousands of articles and performed more freakin searches than I can say), but I will say I wish that any of the things holistic or chiropractic had worked, the many times I tried... There are some things broke that REALLY REALLY cannot be fixed...

My firm belief is that until we program computers to diagnose us(because humans cannot possibly remember and interpret the vast amount of data) that medical science is a voodoo art, at best

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 10:34 AM

MAGONSDAUGHTER

You are right, Wish. Sometimes there is no cure, no relief from ailments, and THAT is something that westerners cannot seem to tolerate. We malfunction, eventually we die. Every single one of us. Doesn't mean that doctors are to necessarily to blame but we sure do like to blame them.

"Gran died after you treated her, you arsehole. Now I'm going to sue you."

Well, Gran was 98 and had late stages of cancer.....

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 10:49 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Wishimy, that is already in the works.
http://www.ncpa.org/sub/dpd/index.php?Article_ID=20346

Geekfarm also has an halfsie-AI which is more focused on pysch issues, which grew out of reserarch of our halfsie-AI of more nefarious purpose.

By halfsie I mean that it's not a true strong-AI, but something more along a heuristic similar to ALICE, front ending a specific purpose database.

-F

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 11:04 AM

BYTEMITE

It's true! The Watson computer that won jeopardy recently was originally designed as a medical diagnostic computer.

(NPCA article mentions it)

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 11:23 AM

CANTTAKESKY

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
... medical science is a voodoo art, at best

Which makes all their accusations of quackery from alternative practioners quite ironic.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 2:50 PM

WISHIMAY

I'll won't hold my breath until 2021, but it is nice to hear someone's on that trail. Think how many GP's are gonna be out of business or are gonna have to go back to school for computer sciences...or surgery. Well, I guess we'd still have to have someone to write out redundant prescriptions, wouldn't we...

And I'm also not discounting alternative treatments, they are the basis of medicine, after all, and I have gotten limited assistence from basics- vitamin c, omega's, cider, and dates do help get me through the day, sometimes...

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Tuesday, March 1, 2011 4:20 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I'm one of those people who hates going to the doctor. I do it when I have to, go see my nurse practitioner for medicine etc. but I drag my feet, its such a hastle. I think Meghan's has some good points here. People should use whatever works for them and their body, conventional medicine, natural remodies etc.

And PN, I hope you can find a good Kyropractor for your mom and that it will help her feel better and fix some of the problems she's having.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Monday, March 15, 2021 8:17 AM

JAYNEZTOWN

https://metro.co.uk/2021/03/15/the-oxford-vaccine-and-blood-clots-how-
concerned-should-we-be-14244864/

How worried should you be about blood clots after getting the vaccine?

https://nypost.com/2021/03/15/astrazeneca-says-no-signs-covid-vaccine-
hikes-blood-clot-risk/

AstraZeneca finds no evidence COVID vaccine raises blood clot risk

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