Zoid's advice by BadgersHat

(Mal-licious shoulders her way to the front of the crowd) I'll be first in line if it kills...other people!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004 6:40 PM

See? I told y'all he was a good-looking kid, even if he is tall enough to climb Everest just by walking up to it.

If he doesn't get some harem-y action now, then the fems hereabouts should turn in their gender identity cards, being expired or otherwise invalid...

Encouragingly,

zoid

P.S.
Jefé: I think it may have been a strategic error to invoke my name in the title of the thread; you may have inadvertantly scuttled yourself. You obviously have a higher estimate of my influence than is strictly warranted. The mention of my name tends to have an effect on the ladies here, not dissimilar to that of ipecac...

Still, you keep plugging, and I'll stand off over here a ways and try to scare 'em toward you, not away.
-zed

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004 6:52 PM

Well, DAMN!

* The Real Me takes his complex plan to win Mal-licious and tosses it into the trash. *

Just can't compete with THAT pretty boy!

(Good luck, Hat!)

The Real Me

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004 7:34 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Just how tall are you?!

--------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices

http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com

Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004 7:53 PM

The GreyJedi inquired of BadgersHat:

Quote:
Just how tall are you?!

More importantly from the perspective of luring females: What size shoes do you wear?!

Drivingly,

zoid

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 6:28 AM

BADGERSHAT

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

The GreyJedi inquired of BadgersHat:
Quote:
Just how tall are you?!

More importantly from the perspective of luring females: What size shoes do you wear?!

Drivingly,

zoid

I'm seven feet tall, with a shoe size of 16... and who you calling "pretty boy," RealMe??

By the way, Zoid--
I doubt invoking your name was any kind of error, because, in my opinion, anyone who discounts anything just because YOUR name is on it isn't someone worth MY time. You're one of the most intelligent and wise people I've ever... well, not actually MET, per se, but you get the point...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)
"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 6:59 AM

BROWNCOAT1

May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Ruttin' special Hell BH. I had forgotten how bloody tall you are. I remember the pics when you first posted them awhile back.

Grab him up ladies!

__________________________________________

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

Richmond, VA & surrounding area Firefly Meet Up:
http://firefly.meetup.com/9/boards/

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 7:24 AM

Grrrl-coats:

Didja catch that? Jefe wrote:

Quote:
...with a shoe size of 16...

You know what they say: "Big shoes, big... feet!"

Oh, and 'Hat: How's the weather up there? Betcha never heard that one before, hunh?

(zoid basks in the praise and ample shade provided by El Jefé Magnifico, Badger's Hat, Presidenté for Life of ThisLand)

v/r,
-zed

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 7:26 AM

BADGERSHAT

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
Grrrl-coats:

Didja catch that? Jefe wrote:
Quote:
...with a shoe size of 16...

You know what they say: "Big shoes, big... feet!"

Oh, and 'Hat: How's the weather up there? Betcha never heard that one before, hunh?

(zoid basks in the praise and ample shade provided by El Jefé Magnifico, Badger's Hat, Presidenté for Life of ThisLand)

v/r,
-zed

Usually, when asked about the weather, I spit and say "It's raining..." but in this case, I'll forego the spit, and just report that it is, in fact, raining...

Yes, I do indeed have large... um... feet...

--Jefé The Hat

***************************
--Don't bother trying to predict, figure out, second guess, criticize, or suggest anything that comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, for you shall usually be wrong, and shall find out the Truth and Purpose in due time.
(This is the Truth of Whedoning)
"I like smackin 'em"--Jayne

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 8:37 AM

THEGREYJEDI

So I'm only 6'3" tall but I wear size 15 shoes. Doesn't that make my feet proportionately bigger?

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

--------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices

http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com

Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 11:33 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Well, DAMN!

* The Real Me takes his complex plan to win Mal-licious and tosses it into the trash. *

Just can't compete with THAT pretty boy!

(Good luck, Hat!)

The Real Me

HEY!!! Quitter! (Mal-Licious digs plan out of trashcan, irons pages out nice and straight with a bit of starch, and hands them back to TheRealMe) You quit tryin' when I TELL you to quit tryin'!!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 11:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by BadgersHat:
I doubt invoking your name was any kind of error, because, in my opinion, anyone who discounts anything just because YOUR name is on it isn't someone worth MY time.

Seconded.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:05 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Well, DAMN!

* The Real Me takes his complex plan to win Mal-licious and tosses it into the trash. *

Just can't compete with THAT pretty boy!

(Good luck, Hat!)

The Real Me

HEY!!! Quitter! (Mal-Licious digs plan out of trashcan, irons pages out nice and straight with a bit of starch, and hands them back to TheRealMe) You quit tryin' when I TELL you to quit tryin'!!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

YES MISTRESS!

Uh, I mean, thanks, Mal-licious.

* The Real Me tosses his complex plan back into the trash. *

But really, I think that I’ll try going with something simpler. I don’t know… Like if we are ever in the same state together, I’ll treat you to dinner. Something like that.

The Real Me

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 10:11 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by BadgersHat:

I'm seven feet tall, with a shoe size of 16... and who you calling "pretty boy," RealMe??

--Jefé The Hat

* The Real Me stands, rising to his normally adequate 6’ 1” height. *

HA! I’m calling YOU a pretty boy, Badger’s Hat! That’s right! I am! THE REAL ME!

* The Real Me realizes how easy it is to get antagonistic while anonymous and perhaps a thousand miles away. Meanwhile, the menacing figure of Badger’s Hat towers over The Real Me. The Hat says not a word, but his eyes start to glow bright red (see picture). The Real Me reconsiders his most recent course of action. *

Ummmm… yes, as it happens, I did say something like that, but of course I meant no offense. Why, if I were to refer to you as a “gorgeous hunk”, or even a “handsome man”, then folks might start wondering if The Real Me is perhaps more than a little sly. And THAT would hardly help my harem situation! It is, in fact, quite well known that the only way that one straight man might compliment the appearance of another is to offer that compliment couched in the form of an insult. Why, it’s almost traditional!

* The Real Me stops talking, smiles, and holds his breath, hoping that this works… *

Uh, here, you might want to try some Visene for those eyes…

Oh, and my shoe size is a 10 ½… WIDE, if anyone cares.

The Real Me

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:14 AM

MANTICHORUS

Jefé, is your real name Daniel Cudmore? 'Cause you look suspiciously like the guy who played Colossus in X2...

--------------------------------------------------
SAFFRON: "Durran... This isn't what it looks like..."
MAL: "Unless it looks like we're stealing your priceless Lassiter, 'cause that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, though, 'cause that's new."
DURRAN: "Well. I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but --"

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:18 AM

zoid, like many men, tells women that his shoe size is 12 1/2; but actually it's a 10 1/2. Also, it's a disappointingly short distance from his wrist to the tip of his thumb...

Luckily, all is not lost. zoid wears a size 7 5/8 hat and has an 18-inch collar size; his head has its own weather system. This has kept him in female companionship throughout his life, notably those with wide back straps on their bras, whom he prefers...

Habit-ually,

zoid

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:26 AM

Oh, thanks a lot, zoid!

Now women everywhere will think that The Real Me's shoe size is only 8 1/2, when actually I told the truth the first time!

The Real Me

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 7:46 AM

Damn! I can't even keep a virtual man....

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 8:42 AM

Come, now, Mal-licious!

You're "keeping" zoid, the Hat, and me right now, and those two are only the rivals that I KNOW about!

And at the other end of each of those virtual men is a real man.

Well, unless zoid is a carefully crafted philosophy program...

* The Real Me decides to consider this possibility, as it will serve to increase his own chances. *

The Real Me

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 8:58 AM

If we are being semi-literal, then Zoid is most happily married, and Jefe is in mourning over his beloved. Therefore, I cannot "keep" or "have" either of them! This leaves YOU as Kaylee to my Simon. In a weird, non-literal sense, of course.

Ok, McDonald's in a neutral state it is.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 9:22 AM

STATIC

I would like it to be officially noted that I have set aside my normally competetive nature out of my deep respect for Jefe and the others and NOT posted a pic to re-rally my own harem to my support!

I will instead (being secure in my masculinity), echo the chorus, pointing out that Ol' Headwear is a darn good-lookin' fella and suggest that the ladies form the line to the left.

==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 9:30 AM

Pfffft! You soooo want to post your pic.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 11:32 AM

STATIC

My pic is actually already posted in the Blue Sun room. . .'twas posted back while I was still in Afghanistan.

I would be glad to post it again. . .but like I said. . .I wouldn't want to come across as being competetive, and I mean that sincerely.

==================================================
"Wash. . .we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss."

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 5:58 PM

THEGREYJEDI

In the interest of everyone keeping their Turkey Day dinners down, I will not be posting my pic anywhere, though that might help your case, Mr. The Hat. Just have a choice. Tall hunky guy or much (by comparison, ph34r my 6'3" self) shorter and very average looking me. And there you have your harem.

But like I said, the ladies, and the men, may wish to keep the turkey down.

No respect. No repsect at all. Boy I tell ya.

------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:37 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

There's seems to be a noticeable lack of womanfolk in this thread. It looks like you've piqued the mens' attention though.

I'd love to join the gals. I've been watchin' Mal's harem dancing technique and I'm almost as good as she is. Almost. I'll stand behind her.

...Zoid's name didn't put me off.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 6:52 PM

TETHYS

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

The GreyJedi inquired of BadgersHat:
Quote:
Just how tall are you?!

More importantly from the perspective of luring females: What size shoes do you wear?!

Drivingly,

zoid

The mysterious "lurker" rolls his eyes at an absurd urban myth.

"Your mouth is talking. Might wanna see to that"

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 9:24 PM

tethys:

Yeah, I was poking fun at myths. Still, I know people who believe them. If Der Hat has got size 16 shoes, and the myth helps him...

The only criterion I specified above that holds water -- at least in my shamefully extensive experience -- is the one about the back strap on a woman's brassiere. With the 'Wonder Bra' and its sundry incarnations, it can be difficult to analyze from the front; but, the back is a dead giveaway...

Fittingly,

zoid

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Thursday, November 25, 2004 11:36 PM

TETHYS

you never fail to crack me up zoid!!!!!!!!!

"Your mouth is talking. Might wanna see to that"

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Friday, November 26, 2004 6:58 AM

TWG!

Hope he's not too tired when he gets to you....

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Saturday, November 27, 2004 3:07 PM

Bumpin' for my Jefe. He needs a gigundus harem! Join now!!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Saturday, November 27, 2004 3:10 PM

MISGUIDED BY VOICES

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
The only criterion I specified above that holds water -- at least in my shamefully extensive experience -- is the one about the back strap on a woman's brassiere. With the 'Wonder Bra' and its sundry incarnations, it can be difficult to analyze from the front; but, the back is a dead giveaway...

Plus, if you examine too closely from the front, you're liable to get a poke in the eye...

"I threw up on your bed"

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Saturday, November 27, 2004 4:14 PM

TETHYS

I would be glad to help ya out bro......but.....

that....

....would be just wrong, so I'll wish ya good luck!!

"Your mouth is talking. Might wanna see to that"

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Saturday, November 27, 2004 11:19 PM

Misguided By Voices wrote:

Quote:
Plus, if you examine too closely from the front, you're liable to get a poke in the eye...

Well, as every guy knows, the art of 'checking out' women is in being able to size 'em up with only the merest glance, and to not get caught doing it. This is especially true if you're married, doubly true if you love your wife. Only a low-brow troglodyte openly gawks.

I can usually catalog 'the menu' (which I maintain we should all have the right to peruse, regardless of dietary constraints) without turning my head. At most, I'll take a quick, surreptitious glance at the aforementioned back strap -- along with other collocated assets -- as they pass.

Of course, I'm still a male, even if I am married. Occasionally, a female of such exquisite beauty will appear, that I will actually stop and stare. On a couple of occasions, I have unconsciously turned and followed for a few steps before I even realized I was doing it. That's mortifying. (See 'low-brow troglodyte', above) But I haven't gotten poked in the eye for examining 'the front' too closely, yet; except -- when I was younger -- by the softly-pointed object under examination, and in a very kindly fashion at that.

Please notice, ladies: I have not spilled the specifics on the exact way in which the back strap may be used to deduce the bra's actual contents. Your secret is safe with me. A gentleman never blabs in public and unaccountably, neither does zoid.

Discreetly,

zoid

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Sunday, November 28, 2004 12:47 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
If we are being semi-literal, then Zoid is most happily married, and Jefe is in mourning over his beloved. Therefore, I cannot "keep" or "have" either of them! This leaves YOU as Kaylee to my Simon. In a weird, non-literal sense, of course.

Ok, McDonald's in a neutral state it is.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

* The words, "This leaves YOU..." echo in The Real Me's head as he realizes that perhaps he DOES have a chance, after all. *

Okay. I'm uh... Kaylee?

???

SURE! I can be Kaylee. Lessee... Jumpsuit with heart and teddy bear patches? Check. Engine grease to smear all over my face? Check. Inability to handle a firearm? Check. Cheerful, bubbly personality?

Uhhhh.

I can fake it!

Oh, and I think that I can swing a Wendy's, at least...

The Real Me

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Sunday, November 28, 2004 1:24 PM

NEEDLESEYE

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
the back strap may be used to deduce the bra's actual contents.

I 've just stumbled across this thread, and am amused at the interesting ways each sex sizes each other up. So here's another thought from the ladies POV.
I'm reminded of a girl talk conversation, and it was decided that shoes size has absolutley no correllation, nor hands. The nose has it.

Sorry if OT. :P

Badgershat good luck to you, you have a fine profile.

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)

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Sunday, November 28, 2004 2:18 PM