The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse by Malicious

*wakes up drunkenly*

Waazat? Ebo? Wha...

*pulls self together*

I mean, of course we missed you ebo but you were with us in spirit. Witness the life size effigy we constructed of you. Shiny, no

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:36 AM

MALICIOUS

That was an effigy? I thought it was HER. That's why I didn't miss her.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 6:25 AM

effa-what? *finds a dictonary*

Quote:
effigy: an image or representation especially of a person...

oh ok.

Quote:
...especially a crude figure representing a hated person.

HEY!

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 6:31 AM

MALICIOUS

NO NO NO! A WELL-LIKED treehouse figure! Not an "F-U-igy!" Poor Ebo!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 6:34 AM

Yeah! Poor Ebo indeed! I need an m&m.

Or maybe two.

there needs to be a :wallowing in misery: smily.

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 9:30 AM

No, no, this was an effigy of love, honest.

You're the only crude figure we want or need, there's just no good word for a lifesize doll resembling a human.

We all took turns dancing with your effigy, then worshipped you at midnight then some drunken personage who shall not be named tried to smooch it under the mistletoe.

Never mind, here, please accept these Smarties in consolation. They're akin to M&M's but no letters on them, although there are different ones on the lids to collect.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 11:12 AM

And Ebo, I have to confess...

I drew a Penii on your crotch.

Sorry.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:19 PM

Penii? What the...good lord, i'm going to consult a dictionary TWISE in one day...this must be some sort of record.

Lets see here...

Quote:
The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search box to the right.

*scratches head* ok, list of words:
1. penni
2. pennia
3. penny
4. peony
5. -penny
6. -penia
7. penis
8. pinna
9. pinnae
10. pina
11. pina

penni looks strikingly similar...

Quote:
Etymology: Finnish

Etym-what huh? What the?

Looking up THREE words in the dictonary is definatly an all time high.

Quote:
Etymology: The history of a linguistic form (as a word) shown by tracing its development since its earliest recorded occurrence in the language where it is found, by tracing its transmission from one language to another, by analyzing it into its component parts, by identifying its cognates in other languages, or by tracing it and its cognates to a common ancestral form in an ancestral language

*faints w/ confusion and overdose of words.*

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 5:03 PM

*skips around the pool table tripping over SimonWho's prostrate form*

Sorry. I thought you had gotten up already. Guess I got a bit carried away, can you walk? Can I get you any asprin or water? Perhaps another drink? Who turned off the music?

*looks confusedly between the Ebo and the Almost Ebo*

Which one was I dancing with last night?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 6:23 PM

*Ebo gets up and wanders over to inspect, er, herself.*

This must be what going crazy feels like...

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 7:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
*Ebo gets up and wanders over to inspect, er, herself.*

This must be what going crazy feels like...

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

I think I found crazy... http://www.pbase.com/image/38209428

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Sunday, January 2, 2005 7:53 PM

No, THATS what going crazy must feel like.

Happy new year guys! Lets do it all over again! Except with a movie! And more of the color green! And - hey look - smarties! Mine!

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Monday, January 3, 2005 5:04 AM

Penii...the pluras of Penis.

I made it up.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Monday, January 3, 2005 2:16 PM

Gaa! You must be the elusive 5th Gynocologist! Shock!

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Monday, January 3, 2005 4:01 PM

Oooh, that's better. My head now feels vaguely human shaped again. I was dancing till my limbs felt like loosely nailed on pieces of jelly.

Does the treehouse have an outside pool (heated, preferably) as I could well do with a dip. Anyone is welcome to join me, particularly if you play "splashy, splashy".

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Monday, January 3, 2005 5:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
particularly if you play "splashy, splashy".

actually about to sit down to a showing of Unrepeatable. Gotta love the whole splashy, splashy thing.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 6:55 PM

* A bright spot of light appears on one wall of the tree house. It expands, to reveal a dark void. An arm sticks out of this hole in reality. The Real Me’s voice can be heard, echoing dimly: *

Sparky! A pool cue! Quickly!

* The robot runs over to the pool table and retrieves a cue. He dashes back, to place the item into The Real Me’s hand. The hand pulls it back into the void. Then sounds of smacking can be heard, along with an unearthly howl. Then something cracks, and half a pool cue flies out of the void to clatter to the tree house floor. The Real Me’s voice echoes again from the void: *

DAMMIT!

* The hole in reality closes. *

The Real Me

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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 7:21 PM

Quick, Sparky! How do you open the portal? How!!!! The Real Me may need our help, or a nother cue.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 8:21 PM

* A spot of light re-appears. A small hole in reality opens and The Real Me's hands grab each side of the hole. He pulls his head up to peek into the Treehouse. *

Um, actually, ThatWeirdGirl, opening interdimensional portals is my personal super-power. Sparky can't help. Oh, Sparky, another cue!

* The Real Me reaches his hand into the Treehouse, to take another pool cue from Sparky. *

Thanks, I really think...

* Startled, The Real Me is suddenly pulled back. There are growling sounds and more smacking as the hole closes again. *

The Real Me

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Tuesday, January 4, 2005 8:28 PM

*Ebo jumps up on her pool table*

Ok folks! We're taken bets! Is You in an Aliance friendly bar come uni-day? Or is there a theif in their midst? (The theif of course being You, hopefully stealing more effigy's of me. But without the hate.)

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 9:38 AM

Um, what's the bet?

That I'm the theif? Cause that sounds like a sure thing, ya know, fixed. I know what I'll do so it would be silly to bet me being a uni celebrator.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 1:27 PM

MALICIOUS

I bet he is on that island on "Lost" and ran into the "thing in the jungle."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 1:31 PM

maybe me's/i am slapping them? cattle like.

but I'm gonna go with the first one, me's hitting uni supportors over the head with cues. (please ignore my pronoun confusion)

I just sounds better than me, you know?

twg's got five green m&ms on it.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 2:33 PM

Its You thats actually better then Me and I.

We've talked about this before. Get with the program.

I see your M&Ms and raise you a smartey.

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 2:34 PM

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 3:51 PM

* A spot of light appears low on the wall of the Treehouse common room, expanding to reveal a dark void. From it, a pool cue clatters to the floor. Then out of this hole in reality crawls The Real Me. He seems battered and bruised, with several cuts on his face and forearms. His clothes are in a somewhat ragged condition, and he is missing his left shoe. Behind him, he drags a cooler. The Real Me gets himself to a sitting position, leaning on the cooler. *

Whew! Obtaining bottled Pepsimilk is getting more difficult with each trip. We might have to start mixing our own.

* The Real Me starts to undo the latch on the cooler. *

But I brought another treat! In this container I have…

* Suddenly, a purple tentacle whips from the still-open hole in reality, wrapping itself about the cooler and entering into a tug of war with The Real Me. The Real Me struggles to retrieve the nearby pool cue and then uses it to whack the tentacle several times. *

BAD MONSTER! BAD MONSTER! DOWN, BOY! NOT FOR YOU!

* An unearthly howl comes from the monster, then the tentacle releases the cooler and retreats back into the hole in reality, which promptly closes behind it. The Real Me gets to his feet, dusts himself off, and hands the pool cue to Sparky. *

Now where was I?

* The Real Me opens the cooler and rummages around inside. With a smile, he brings out some bowls. *

Look, Ebo, ICE CREAM!

* The Real Me is confused for a moment when there is no response. Then he realizes that he is speaking to the Effigy of Ebo. *

Huh! It looks just like an effigy, but without the hate.

The Real Me

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 4:08 PM

*Ebo hops from foot to foot making squeeky noises, unable to find words to express her jubulation.*

Ice cream! Mine! eeeee!

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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 4:36 PM

TRM, are you alright.

*Looks TRM up and down.*

Do you need to lay down and rest? I canmake you a new left shoe. It's the least I can do...risking your life just to get me some PepsiMilk.

*reclines on the floor with a bottle of pepsimilk, a bowl of sinfully yummy ice cream, and a smile*

thanks You!!!

looks like i lost the bet.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 6:59 PM

* The Real Me smiles at Ebo, who is still only moderately coherent, then turns to That Weird Girl. *

Oh, not to worry. Not to worry. I'm fine. And those shoes were getting worn out, anyway.

* The Real Me lays down on his back in the middle of the big rug in the center of the Treehouse common room. He closes his eyes and relaxes, almost drifting off to a restful sleep. Suddenly, his eyes open. *

Oh, right! About the ice cream! I almost forgot to mention it. It's a very special brand, you see. It always tastes like whatever your favorite flavor happens to be.

The Real Me

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 7:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, right! About the ice cream! I almost forgot to mention it. It's a very special brand, you see. It always tastes like whatever your favorite flavor happens to be.

The Real Me

you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Wednesday, January 5, 2005 7:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* The Real Me smiles and shrugs. To his robot, he whispers: *

Sparky, mark off Lifetime Goal #6 for me, please. This is close enough.

The Real Me

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 12:41 AM

Hmm, this is odd. This ice cream tastes for me almost, but not entirely unlike tea. Its sensors might be on the blink.

I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.

Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 1:01 AM

Ooh, thank you TRM!

*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!

*PsychichRiver puts some fudge-slavoured ice cream (with real fudge pieces in it!) into a bowl and sits on the floor and begins to eat. PR is chewing happily, then he suddenly stops. Staring straight at the floor, not even blinking. All is quiet, and PR continues to stare.*

EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!

*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.

NOW! UNDER, NOW!

*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*

Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*

Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*

HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.

*The treehouse begins to shake.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 5:34 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.

There is more than one reason that I picked "The Real Me" as my alias. Those that you bring up apply (aside from the gender difference).

Quote:

Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?

Uh, well, in this particular case, it is because THEY were the ones who made this ice cream.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 5:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

Ooh, thank you TRM!

Why, you are welcome. Did I mention that it has no calories?

Quote:

*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.

Oh, I assure you, there is fear aplenty! It so happens that fear can be a great motivator. And how can one be brave if he does not fear? The secret is to never surrender to it. Perhaps that is what you sense.

Quote:

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM! *PsychichRiver puts some fudge-slavoured ice cream (with real fudge pieces in it!) into a bowl and sits on the floor and begins to eat. PR is chewing happily, then he suddenly stops. Staring straight at the floor, not even blinking. All is quiet, and PR continues to stare.*

* The Real Me has a bad feeling about this. *

Quote:

EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!

*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.

NOW! UNDER, NOW!

* Having seen enough episodes of Firefly, The Real Me grabs Ebo and ThatWeirdGirl and dives immediately under the pool table with them. Ice cream flies everywhere. *

As I said, a great motivator! Psychic River! What is going to happen?

Quote:

*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*

Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*

Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*

HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.

*The treehouse begins to shake.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Not to worry! We can evacutate!

* The Real Me begins to open a dimensional portal. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 1:13 PM

*The treehouse continues to shake, knocking furniture all over the place, until a huge flash of ligth appears in the middle of the room, and an inter-dimensional crack splits down the room, opening a portal, and then purple tentacles slither in, and a uge purple beast that reaches from the floor to the ceiling lands slap-bang in the middle of the treehouse, crushing many pieces of furniture.*

TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!

*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 3:28 PM

* The Real Me is dazed, lying prone under the pool table with the others while the Treehouse is shaking and hell is literally breaking loose around them. The escape portal that The Real Me started to open evaporated when his concentration was broken by the rather impressive entrance of the tentacled monster. *

* The Real Me wonders how this monster (which he knows to be literally a Purple People Eater) could possibly have followed him from the Purple Dimension. Not only would it need powers similar to his own, but it would also require a token originating in this dimension, something that could be used to home in on the Treehouse. Something like… *

* The Real Me notices that one of the monster’s many tentacles is clutching his own lost left shoe. *

DAMMIT! I got careless!

*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*

* Psychic River yells: *

“TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!”

* As The Real Me scrambles to his feet, he slaps the floor between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl. A spot of light appears there, and starts to grow in size. *

* At that moment, a pair of tentacles reach for ThatWeirdGirl and Ebo, but Sparky (obeying the First Law) leaps up in time to protect them. The tentacles wrap around the robot, squeeze tightly, and pull. Sparky is torn apart in a shower of metal, plastic, and... sparks. *

Poor Sparky!

* Another tentacle reaches for PsychicRiver, but The Real Me waves a hand to create a hole in reality to shield him. The tentacle reaching for PsychicRiver disappears into the hole. The Real Me makes a fist, closing that portal and slicing off the end of that tentacle. A flood of purple blood and gore gushes out of the stump all over PsychicRiver. The monster howls in pain. *

* By this time, the spot of light between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl has grown to encompass everyone under the pool table. They all fall into the void, except for The Real Me, who has moved away. *

I’ll join you presently!

* Everyone else finds themselves dropping roughly into Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree. *

The Real Me

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 3:47 PM

*Ebo looks around all dazed like. Feeling kind of sad over lack of treehouse and ice cream she starts to dive under her pool table to hide, but soon realizes that its still in the treehouse.*

Awww crap.

*Suddenly there is a crash from above and the pool table soars out of the window and lands, crockedly, a few feet away on the grass. A tub of ice cream lands neatly on top.*

Jubulation!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 3:48 PM

*ouch*

Ok, I seem to have landed halfway across the bar. Just let me slide down...

There, slightly better. Okay, I think we should take a vote: All those in favour of banning teleportation from dark dimensions directly into the treehouse say "Aye".

Also, how are we going to reclaim our treehouse? And is this purple people eater something that is purple or does it just eat purple people because that would be racist and wrong.

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Thursday, January 6, 2005 4:26 PM

* Another dimensional portal opens near the Pub at the Bottom of the Tree and The Real Me staggers out, clearly fatigued. He is followed by various Treehouse members who had been in their rooms during the disaster. *

I’ll have to check the roof for the Grey Jedi, now.

* The Real Me opens another portal, but this one is barely a foot across. He takes a couple of deep breaths, concentrates, and it opens wide enough for him to squeeze his upper body through. The Real Me pulls The Grey Jedi out. *

Okay! Are we all accounted for? Is anyone missing?

* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *

Yes, they will eat anybody.

* The Real Me turns to PsychicRiver, who is still dripping in monster gore. *

Well, what’s going to happen NEXT?

The Real Me

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Friday, January 7, 2005 5:13 AM

* PsychicRiver does not respond, implying either shock or the onset of another Vision. *

What about the rest of you? We need a plan to retake the Treehouse.

With my dimensional travel power, I can provide a convenient secret entrance for us, but the monster is too big for me to move to another dimension on my own. Plus, we have to get my shoe back, or else it could return.

What other super powers do we have access to? If any of you had been keeping them secret, now might be a good time to reveal them.

Let me see what I can remember...

PsychicRiver can receive visions of danger... AFTER it's too late to do anything about.

Ebo can communicate with sea life and muppets.

Mal-licious possesses inhumanly great beauty, combined with an appropriately-sized ego. Uh, sorry, I mean "force of personality".

The Grey Jedi can create technological marvels out of random piles of useless crap.

ManicNumberOne... Oh, right.

* The Real Me reaches into his shirt pocket to remove the inch-high figure of ManiacNumberOne, then sets him carefully on Zoid's bar. *

ManicNumberOne can shrink himself down so that he could fit in someone's pocket... he used to do that with Wela.

Hmmm... Clandestiny could generate an inpenetrable force field, but I haven't seen HIM around in a long time. And he never joined the Treehouse.

* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *

Hey, didn't you once say that you could destroy entire planets? It's not that I'm asking for a demonstration, mind you, but... do you think that you could... you know... scale that down a bit?

The Real Me

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Friday, January 7, 2005 6:29 AM

I'm afraid it's whole planets or nothing with me really. Sorry but my powers aren't that great. They include:

1) Destroying whole planets (by the way, if anyone can stop a G. Bush from Texas repeatedly calling me and asking for my help, I'd be much obliged)

2) Being a Doctor, healing the sick, tending the wounded, filling out three hundred pages of paperwork relating to same.

3) Unintentionally hurting the feelings of women I am attracted to (very good at this one).

4) Getting beaten up by one-eyed men who have been locked up in a tiny cage for several years.

5) Confusing the words Summer and River. Hang on, I did it again, I meant River and Summer. Boh!

I'm probably best used as a backup, to heal those injured by your no doubt insane plan to take back the Treehouse. Either that or I'll look through my textbooks to find some hidden flaw in the monster's physiology.

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Friday, January 7, 2005 8:53 AM

Ok, good....we're out. Excellent moves TRM.

Erm, well my powers stretch to...

Apparitions....Visions....Flashbacks....Sensing Things....

I can read and occasionally control minds, but that always shorts out on me.

And sometimes when I concentrate, I can do telekinesis, but only small objects! I'm still learning!

Okay, *Swipes hand over face* I have to get this purple goo off of my face, it's starting to sting!!

TRM, can u open somewhere with water, say in a water pipe, then it could just wash all this pap off my face?

Right...plan....plan...think PsychicRiver, think!

Well...if we can't transport the creature into another dimension, then we're gonna have to get it out of the treehouse, and onto the groun, where we stand a better chance of destroying it.

I hate so say this, but we're gonna have to destroy one of the walls of the tree house, then the grey jedi can make a machine to launch it into the air and we can all-

*PsychicRiver stops talking and goes into another stare...*

Okay, I'm having another one.

*The images flash through PR's mind....

PR blinks and comes back to reality.*

Ok, I know what to do. I need you ALL to go back into the treehouse, and start to attack it. ONLY those strong enough will go. We can't risk losing anyone. We've already lost Sparky...

*Pr gets teared up.* Look, if we get through this, it's possible that the Grey Jedi can fix up Sparky, good as new! But first we need to get rid of that thing.

Right, we will divise a team that will go back into the treehouse, and attack the creature. We need to confuse it, get it all turned around so it's mentally weakened.

TRM, your a key player here... you're gonna need to be opening up portals left right and centre, we need to keep people hopping in and out all over the place, really confuse it...also, some physical pain would not go a miss. And TRM, you need to get your shoe back.

You'll all need to use your powers to weaken this thing, then...once it's weak enough and TRM has gotten his shoe back....then I'm gonna do my thang.

I'm gonna try and take control of it's mind. The more you confuse it...the easier it will be, and the longer I can keep control. We need to get down his mental defenses.

Once I'm in control, and I'm gonna take a loo around and work out how I can make it open a portal and go back through it. Hopefully I can do it. Fingers crossed everyone!

Ok, now onto questions....

TRM; Tell me what it's like opening up dimensional portals....tell me how to do it....and then once I'm inside, I can do it as quickly as possible.

All: Who;s up for being on the team to attack the creature?

oh and ManiacNumberOne, you can be useful, sounds icky but trust me, I've just had purple blood sprayed all over me...but I want you to shrink really small, and go in the beast ear, annoy it as much as possible, but once I'm in control - get out - ASAP, otherwise you'll be going to the purple-verse.

Now, sign up! Sign up!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Friday, January 7, 2005 9:33 AM

I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, January 7, 2005 11:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

Ok, let's do this thang....

Right, I'm gonna do my best to help you out....we could even be linked. I can hear your thoughts...(I hope your not horny....or do I?....and I can speak to you telepathicly...

So lets try this!

*crosses fingers*

(btw, my pc's going in 4 a check up 2mo....so i may not be about for a while! hopefully be back by monday and if plot requires it...then someone else can write my reactions or whatever...)

Peace.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

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Friday, January 7, 2005 2:04 PM

*Ebo watches from under her pool table, her face set in stone. There is no damn way that she's gonna leave her ice cream stash to get slimed by some big ugly monster. She watches the others take up arms and sighs.*

Ok fine.

*She crawls out from underneath the pool table and joins the others.*

What are my powers again? Oh yeah. Talking to sea life and muppets. And feminine wiles. You forgot feminine wiles.

Hey! Idea! I have the perfect plan of attack! Garnteed succes! Its to, um, oh wait. Crap. I forgot what it was. Nevermind. Contune as planed. I relinqish my command to You and PhsyicRiver because I haven't the foggyest clue whats goin on.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, January 7, 2005 4:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* The Real Me looks oddly at ThatWeirdGirl. *

Oh, so THAT’S what is going on. It’s just your super power. I thought there might be some OTHER reason I always get distracted and confused around you.

* The Real Me takes ThatWeirdGirl’s shoe and turns to PsychicRiver. *

So, PsychicRiver, you want to know what it’s like to open holes in dimensions? Well, it’s sort of like… Ummmm… Well, I just DO it. It’s hard to put in words. But watch and listen, and I’ll try to explain.

* The Real Me comes near PsychicRiver, and closes his eyes. *

See, first I need to get a sense of what I want to open onto. There are countless realities out there, and I can almost always find something close to what I desire. For example, right now I am imagining a cool, crystal-clear lake bottom. Since I’m not being too specific, I have no idea if this lake bottom is a short walk away, on the other side of the Earth, or in another dimension entirely. For our purposes, it doesn’t really matter.

* The Real Me extends his right hand near PsychicRiver’s head, and points at nothing with his index finger. *

I can sort of FEEL space-time. It has a texture to me. I think of it like a loosely woven fabric. Now, I can poke my finger through the weave of that fabric, parting it to find, on the other side, the very thing that I imagined, and so…

* A spot of light appears at The Real Me’s fingertip. It slowly expands to about a hand-span in width, a ring of fire around a dark void. Suddenly, a high-pressure stream of water issues from it, knocking TheRealMe and PsychicRiver down with the force of a fire hose. *

Oooops! Too deep. I’ll imagine a SHALLOW lake.

* The gush of water reduces to resemble a gentle shower. The Real Me gets to his feet, and helps PsychicRiver up.*

There, PsychicRiver, now you can get cleaned up.

Oh, another thing. Ripping holes in reality can be tiring. The larger the portal is, and the faster it opens or closes, the more it takes out of me. Snapping that little one shut to cut through the tentacle almost caused me to pass out. Right now, I really have to rest. After all the things I did during our escape, all I can manage are tiny portals that nobody could actually fit through.

* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances at ManiacNumberOne. *

Except…

Maniac? You want to try some scouting?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

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Friday, January 7, 2005 4:47 PM

This monster is probably out to retrieve the ice cream that I… ummmmm… FOUND… during my visit in its home dimension. We have a tub of THAT over there on the ground by the wrecked pool table.

Hey, Ebo, don’t eat ALL of it!

We could probably use this ice cream to lure it away from the Treehouse to someplace where we can deal with it. But how do we deal with it? If we send it back to its own dimension, it could just return. Even without the shoe, it could have gotten a good enough impression of this place in the time it’s been here.

* The Real Me thinks for a couple of seconds, then snaps his fingers. *

Okay, I think I’ve got it. Here are my ideas. Perhaps we can incorporate a couple of plans together into one Master Plan.

The Grey Jedi uses some trash bags, motorcycle helmets, bicycle tire pumps, empty pepsimilk bottles, and crazy-straws to construct some custom-fitted vacuum suits. Let’s see… at least for Ebonezer, ThatWeirdGirl, SimonWho, PsychicRiver, and myself. We suit up.

Since this monster is sort of like an octopus, perhaps Ebo can communicate with it. She could tell it that we are going to take the ice cream far, far away. (You are right, Ebo, I DID forget your “wiles”, but I’m not sure that they would apply in this case.)

We run like hell, and it chases us. If at any time the monster seems to be giving up its chase, Ebo can taunt it like a Monty Python French knight. If at any time PsychicRiver gets a BAD FEELING, like the world is about to end or something, we can reconsider our actions.

Now, as it chases us, I open a dimensional portal to some worthless uninhabitable rockball planet and we go through. I leave the portal open long enough that the monster can see where we are. The monster follows us using its own abilities. Or perhaps PsychicRiver can implant such a suggestion into its mind, or take it over to MAKE it follow us.

We quickly depart THAT planet using another dimensional portal, while SimonWho destroys the planet behind us, slaying the monster and, incidentally, vaporizing my left shoe.

But what is to keep the monster escaping destruction by using its own dimensional powers? Can ThatWeirdGirl’s confusion power be sufficient to keep it from running off? Or can PsychicRiver hold it immobile with some kind of mind block?

Hmmmmm…

I think that we might also need somebody with super-strength to hold the monster in one place while SimonWho destroys the planet. This needs to be someone who doesn’t particularly mind being destroyed WITH the planet, or else someone who is invulnerable as well as super-strong.

Any volunteers? No? Dammit! Clandestiny’s force field would certainly be useful here!

Well, I have another prospect in mind, if we need such a person. Hmmmm… Actually, someone with super-strength could be useful in the fight even if we DON’T leave him or her behind to be destroyed.

Anyway, so what do you all think? Is this plan so crazy that it might just work? Or is it just crazy? We might even be able to keep the ice cream.

Of course, if ThatWeirdGirl can make friends with the monster, all this planning is unnecessary.

The Real Me

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Friday, January 7, 2005 5:13 PM