The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster! by Malicious

Thanks to our Most High Malicious for continuing the highly anticipated pageant. Let's recap shall we?

Mal, Ebo, and KGB are being plied with brides of all kinds.

TRM, Comsmic, Simon, and teh newcomer Cozen are in a hot competition for the Manly Mistress award.

Several otheres have joined in the celebration and festivites such as: PR, Mai, and MontanaGirl.

Zoid, Rat, and Arimana are quietly keeping to the sidelines.

Let's now return to the pageant...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 1:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Mal, Ebo, and KGB are being plied with brides of all kinds.

WHY? Why do I have to be plied with brides? What did I ever do to you? I am just picturing being smothered by white satin, lace and pearls.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 1:40 PM

Oh, when does the lesbian wedding section start?

Right, I think it's time we made our big speeches to try to take the crown.

*gives a dainty cough*

Hello, I'm SimonWho. It has always been my ambition to be Misster Treehouse ever since the idea was first mooted. I believe thatI can bring several important qualities to the role, namely that it takes nothing away from my masculinity to be wearing this dress, these shoes nor this fabulous lipliner/eyeshadow combination.

I come from Britain, a country which has been ruled over by a queen for all of my life. I think I could do the same for the treehouse too.

So in conclusion, I believe that if you ask yourselves in these exciting new times of big budget movies and big damn heroes walking amongst us, who would be the best person to represent the forum in terms of spokesperson for the transvestite element, you will conclude it can only be SimonWho.

Thank you, bless you all.

*mwah mwah*

*walks offstage to the Muppet Show theme tune*

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 2:38 PM

MAI

"Uhhh, Mai, dear, I THINK you may have just gotten married!"

Nooooooooooooo! Oh wait, I have yet to take of the highly potent wine in a bowl so I think I am safe... for now. Phew, that was a close call. (Of course, depending on who is offering the wine I might be more than willing to accept)

As for the pageant, thank goodness for the new thread.

Attention judges!!!! Are there points for most creative gown? What are the other criteria your judging on?

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 2:54 PM

COZEN

*cozen groggygropes for chirpy cellphone*

Gmorph?

Convenient remote secretary, three paychecks due, says "I ordered you an authentic pair of red Betty Boop cfms, men's size 10. Oh: and the treehouse has changed threads. Duck! Pay me, or I'll sue." Click!

*Is nearly beheaded by blurry object mummified in nice satiny material. Passes out. Wakes up in a sea of white satin*

This ain't bad....

*A certain obligation creeps into brain made of soggy Capn Crunch. With difficulty makes way through many a blushin' bride. Mumbles a hello to nice lady who really stands out, as she's naturally dressed in leaves. Presses on, arrives at bar.*

*Nods to the guy surrounded by an astonishing amount of rootbeer.* "Uh, 'scuse me, Montanagirl, is it? Listen, um, I, well, ah, you know, I'm sorry about the unfortunate trajectory taken by the plummetting booze. Next time you hear a chopper, well..."

*MG nods a nod that cozen takes as an indication of patient understanding. Or a signal to a nearby assassin (rootbeer assasin?!) but why worry? cozen attempts to hide warbly note of panic as he orders a margarita from the bar, for the lady, of course. Is denied when creditcard fails to clear. Oh well.*

"Ya any good with make-up? You see, I'm up against a guy with access to dimensional portal technology, and another guy who's got the support of the British monarchy, and yet another guy who may have the complete support of all of this site's fans. I could use the help...."

*cozen applies full force of adopt-a-puppy visage, with subtle very manly undertones.*

_____
He gets dimensional portals. I get a helicopter. Does that seem fair to you?

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 3:22 PM

*in the spirit of change, KGB runs to the kitchen. Sashying out, she tears away her orange ruffled tux to reveal....a slinky gown made out of aluminum foil*

Right, so its a little hard to move in this thing without it *gown rips up leg*...ripping. Damn...So, uh, I'm just going to sit here by the door with this.

*pulls Miss 'Verse sash out of foil-fashioned corset, only Miss 'Verse has been crossed out and it now reads Mr. Sereni-TREE*

I rememebered it just in time to get it out of an almost archived thread. I walked both ways in the snow to get it! Barefoot!

*slids down against the wall, finds a bottle of root beer knocked her way by a black-and-blue blur*

Hey, cool, thanks TRM.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 3:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
He gets dimensional portals. I get a helicopter. Does that seem fair to you?

Well, at least now I know that when I hear a helicopter I should hide under something. So it was a learning experience. I can't help you out with the makeup though, sorry. I don't wear it myself 'cause I'm lazy, and if I were in charge of applying it you'd probably end up looking like a clown. Although, if that's the look you're going for I'll be happy to help you out.

*Although she realizes that she has no input into this competition, montanagirl is leaning towards endorsing cozen just because of the sheer amount of effort he has expended. But then again, SimonWho used The Muppet Show music which garners high marks. Singing quietly to self, "Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know. It's like a kind of torture, to have to watch the show."*

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:14 PM

* The Real Me lands in this thread, and looks about for Aramina, whom he fears might be lost. When he does not locate Aramina, he quickly reads the posts above his. Hmmmm… SimonWho REALLY seems to be getting into this.

No matter! The Real Me has yet to demonstrate his minioning abilities. But there is one thing…*

ThatWeirdGirl, I must protest your summary!

I, The Real Me, have offered no bribes (nor BRIDES) to any of the judges (after all, a bride I probably would have KEPT!). I am determined to win this contest my virtue of my superior… uh… virtue…

Helped along, of course, by my personal powers, my access to superior technology, and my expansive storehouse of magical artifacts!

Hey! Where is Badger’s Hat? What happened to him? He was the entry in the gala contest who had Mal-licious’ vote locked up, since she is part of his harem. But now, without Badger’s Hat OR Zoid to compete with me…

* The Real Me smiles to himself. *

I might have a chance after all!

There is also the question of Mai’s entry into the contest. I believe that her leaf-dress is so fantastic that she MUST be allowed to compete, either in this contest or another. CageyBee's aluminum foil dress is pretty great, too.

Do all these brides get to enter the contest, too? ThatWeirdGirl! Exactly how many of them did you summon?

Oh, yes! I have compiled a new crew list for the Sereni-TREE:

Aramina
Badger’s Hat
CageyBee
CosmicFugitive
Cozen
Ebonezer
Mai
Mal-licious
MontanaGirl
PsychicRiver
Rat
SimonWho
ThatWeirdGirl
TheRealMe
Zoid

Note that this does not include artificially-created-servants-in-residence, like the (currently disabled) robot Sparky, the Ebo Golem, or the Pillow KGB, nor does it include prisoners like the Female Reaver. Nor does it count the many brides with which Mal-licious was recently deluged.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:21 PM

Now where was I before the last thread broke? Oh, yes!

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl in the PREVIOUS Clubhouse/Treehouse thread:
That was very impressive TRM! Although I think you might've accidently smacked me with one of your fans in the course of bouncing off the bar during the grand finale. First cozen drops a box of liquor on me and now I'm assaulted by one of TRM's fans. My barstool doesn't seem to be the safest place in the treehouse.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

MontanaGirl, you must be mistaken! I assure you that I was in complete control of my entire…

* Chagrined, The Real Me examines the one-and-a-half elegant Japanese fans that he still possesses. Then he looks over at the fan-shaped bruise that is starting to form on MontanaGirl. *

Uh… What I MEANT to say is…

* The Real Me tosses the fans over one shoulder, hops up from his lawn chair, and moves over to MontanaGirl by the bar. He bows deeply. The moving, shifting attire he wears follows him a moment later. *

MontanaGirl, please allow me to extend my humblest apologies! Here, perhaps I can make it up to you, or at the very least, prevent such an occurrence from happening in the future.

* With some effort, The Real Me peels off a strip of black cloth from around his head. The free end wiggles wildly while the other end seems to adhere strongly to The Real Me’s right cheek. With some effort and a tiny yelp, he finally pulls it loose. The strip of cloth seems to go crazy, jumping frantically in every direction as if trying to escape. Finally, The Real Me manages to restrain it with both his hands. *

Now hold still, MontanaGirl, and be calm. It can sense fear.

* The Real Me mutters some words in a strange language and touches the center of the strip of cloth to MontanaGirl’s forehead. It sticks there, while both ends wrap around the back of her head and then stick out on either side, like odd, floating, ribbony antennae. From the nearby bar, The Real Me picks up a shot glass and starts to walk away. *

Now for a demonstration!

* With no warning, and from a few steps away, The Real Me turns and pitches the shot glass directly at the spot between MontanaGirl’s eyes. One end of her black ribbon reacts instantly, slapping the missile to one side. *

There! You should be adequately protected, now. Think of it as a “Headband of Protection”. Just remember to take it off from time to time, or else it might drain away your life energy.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* With no warning, and from a few steps away, The Real Me turns and pitches the shot glass directly at the spot between MontanaGirl’s eyes. One end of her black ribbon reacts instantly, slapping the missile to one side. *

There! You should be adequately protected, now. Think of it as a “Headband of Protection”. Just remember to take it off from time to time, or else it might drain away your life energy.

Shiny! Throw something else at me, this is fun! All is forgiven, although I wasn't really carrying a grudge. I'm used to getting bruised up, it happens all the time at work. (From restraining animals, not whatever else you might be thinking.

) And if I topple off my barstool because I've been drained of life energy, just give me a Pepsi and I'll be good to go again.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:32 PM

MAI

Thanks TRM! I'm kind of hoping there's a separate contest for the girls as I am afraid some of you guys are much more enthusiastic (not to mention prettier in those lovely slinky dresses. Not that I am afraid of a little competion mind you.

Just let me know when it's my turn for the limelight. I have to go adjust some of my leaves, I'd hate to be "over exposed" for my moment of glory.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
Thanks TRM! I'm kind of hoping there's a separate contest for the girls as I am afraid some of you guys are much more enthusiastic (not to mention prettier in those lovely slinky dresses. Not that I am afraid of a little competion mind you.

Just let me know when it's my turn for the limelight. I have to go adjust some of my leaves, I'd hate to be "over exposed" for my moment of glory.

Over exposed? Pah! I wouldn't worry about that...

* ...The Real Me says, staring intently. *

Ummm... How about this. Since Mal-licious saw fit to start the thread called "The Treehouse Gala Pageant That Loads Faster" right near the end of the current pageant, let's hold ANOTHER pageant immediately afterward for the ladies!

Some of the men can sit as judges! That would be unusual (as well as fair)!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 4:45 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

Shiny! Throw something else at me, this is fun!

Uh... Okay.

* The Real Me reaches behind the bar, picks up the hiding Rat, and throws him at MontanaGirl. He, too, is effortlessly batted aside. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:16 PM

EBONEZER

I vote for Cozen! He has my vote! I don't know why! But he does! Who do the others voters vote for?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:18 PM

Ebo! Of chief importance is the “minioning” portion of the contest, otherwise known as “pampering”. We must not leave it out!

* The Real Me approaches the judges. From the shifting folds of his attire, he pulls three specially programmed butterfly thrusters. He flicks them, one by one, at Ebonezer, Mal-licious, and CageyBee. Each butterfly orbits the head of its assigned judge once, then stops and starts humming. The three judges start floating in the air. They are not flat on their back, but reclined in such a way that they could conveniently sip the beverage of their choice. Next, the butterflies induce a slow, soothing, rocking motion. *

It so happens that I can set them for “full body massage”, if you like.

* The Real Me departs, but quickly returns with some pitchers. He gives each of the judges a drink appropriate to their age limitations. But mixed into each pitcher is the tiniest amount of ice cream from the Purple Dimension, the effect of which is to make the drink taste like the favorite flavor of the drinker. *

* Next, The Real Me reaches into his shifting attire to pull out a fresh, authentic Florida palm frond. He waves this at Ebonezer. A second hand pulls out a second palm frond and waves it at Mal-licious. Then, a THIRD HAND pulls out a THIRD palm frond and waves it at CageyBee. The Real Me continues until the judges all fall asleep or ask him to stop. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Some of the men can sit as judges! That would be unusual (as well as fair)!

NO.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:30 PM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

* Next, The Real Me reaches into his shifting attire to pull out a fresh, authentic Florida palm frond. He waves this at Ebonezer. A second hand pulls out a second palm frond and waves it at Mal-licious. Then, a THIRD HAND pulls out a THIRD palm frond and waves it at CageyBee. The Real Me continues until the judges all fall asleep or ask him to stop. *

*drools*

Must...stay...awake...

...fall...asleep...bad...no stop...

light...console...gease...

...can't...sentence...properly...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 5:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
It so happens that I can set them for “full body massage”, if you like.

*KGB sways gently in the breeze provided by the third-handed palm frond*

I was thinking, maybe we should have one of these pagents every week. A girl could get quick used to this.

*as she speaks, KGB becomes so relaxed she accidentally drops the Mr. Sereni-TREE sash. Free-for-all ensues*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:04 PM

COZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
I vote for Cozen! He has my vote! I don't know why! But he does!

Yes!!! 4 out of 5 times, bribery and hypnosis will trump talent.

Ebo,providing I can pay her back wages, you may have my CRS. She's a bit cynical, but very efficient.

*thwop thwop THWOP THWOP THWOP!*

Uh-oh. *Sprints over to bar in an effort to save Montanagirl, who has been so kind to transmogrify cozen into transvestite clown. Sure 'nuff, package containing B. Boop shoes arcs straight at her fresh pepsi... but wait! The package is swatted aside by a magic headscarf ribbon! It's a line drive... hooking... hooking.... Ebo, in full relaxation mode enjoying a full body butterfly massage, is THWACKed in the head by the shoes! Butterflies scatter away, Ebo thumps to floor, unconscious yet again.*

*cozen glares at TRM* "Please tell me that wasn't an evil setup." *Fails to contain laughter.* "Gotta say, though: hi-larious!"

Polite, groveling reminder to esteemed judgestressi: those lovely butterflies are breeding thrusters.

____
Practioner of safe full body massages.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:22 PM

AAACKKKKKK!!!!!

So I typed that in like 2 seconds cause I was late for work. Maybe someday I'll know my D from my B.

I feel special being surroundeed by all these foxy men in dresses. And these gorgeous gals in dresses of foil and leaves. *sniff* It's all so *sniff* exciting.

*sniff?* eww. what's that...
So, I've been in this tux now for, what, 5 days now. No one has said if I look fancy or weird or handsome or anything and now it's too late cause I stink from wearing a tux for 5 days.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:26 PM

RAT

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* The Real Me reaches behind the bar, picks up the hiding Rat, and throws him at MontanaGirl. He, too, is effortlessly batted aside. *

THHAAANKS!!!

-Ratboy

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

I feel special being surroundeed by all these foxy men in dresses. And these gorgeous gals in dresses of foil and leaves. *sniff* It's all so *sniff* exciting.

*sniff?* eww. what's that...
So, I've been in this tux now for, what, 5 days now. No one has said if I look fancy or weird or handsome or anything and now it's too late cause I stink from wearing a tux for 5 days.

If you want, you can wear the Gown de Alumina. I've been toying with the idea of a Saran Wrap sari, anyway.

*grabs twg's hand and they proceed first to the kitchen, then to the east wing. KGB sets up the privacy screens and throws several boxes of aluminum foil at twg. She then recruits Pillow Me to hold the box of Saran Wrap while she spins in a style befitting Ebo...but unaccustomed to the g-forces which Ebo has handily mastered, KGB does the thing most popular to do in the Sereni-TREE....passes out*

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:30 PM

RAT

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
...now it's too late cause I stink from wearing a tux for 5 days.

Age'd to perfection!

-Ratboy

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
*grabs twg's hand and they proceed first to the kitchen, then to the east wing. KGB sets up the privacy screens and throws several boxes of aluminum foil at twg.

*steps around screen only to hear rip* crap, I'll try again.
*wraps teh foil, once more, around self. Steps out to show KGB only to have the top drop to her waist* Crap! I can't get this thing to work, argh.

*goes back behind screen and puts smelly tux on*
I'll just wear this for a little bit. Why did I give all my dresses to the men?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:50 PM

*montanagirl sits on her barstool tossing ping pong balls at her head and watching her shiny new headband bat them away. One goes sailing across the stage, another smacks into the mirror behind the bar.*

Oops! Well at least they're only ping pong balls, as opposed to a large package containing shoes. *Meaningful glance at cozen, then goes back to tossing ping pong balls.*

Hey, do we have a ping pong table somewhere around here? With my headband to assist me, I might actually have a chance playing.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 6:55 PM

RAT

* Rat ducks *

-Ratboy

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:06 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
I vote for Cozen! He has my vote! I don't know why! But he does!

Yes!!! 4 out of 5 times, bribery and hypnosis will trump talent.

Ebo,providing I can pay her back wages, you may have my CRS. She's a bit cynical, but very efficient.

*thwop thwop THWOP THWOP THWOP!*

Uh-oh. *Sprints over to bar in an effort to save Montanagirl, who has been so kind to transmogrify cozen into transvestite clown. Sure 'nuff, package containing B. Boop shoes arcs straight at her fresh pepsi... but wait! The package is swatted aside by a magic headscarf ribbon! It's a line drive... hooking... hooking.... Ebo, in full relaxation mode enjoying a full body butterfly massage, is THWACKed in the head by the shoes! Butterflies scatter away, Ebo thumps to floor, unconscious yet again.*

* The Real Me is stunned. All he can do for quite a long while is to numbly wave the palm fronds in his three hands, even though Ebo is no longer receiving any benefit from hers. Then he snaps out of it. *

Doctor SimonWho! We have yet another case of blunt head trauma!

Quote:

*cozen glares at TRM* "Please tell me that wasn't an evil setup." *Fails to contain laughter.* "Gotta say, though: hi-larious!"

Indeed, Cozen, I am certain that it WAS an evil setup! Allow me to congratulate you on its perfect execution!

* The Real Me checks a dictionary with a fourth hand. *

Hmmmm...

"cozen (kuz'n) vt., vi. [< ME. cosin, fraud, trickery < ? ] 1. to cheat; defraud 2. to deceive"

* The Real Me closes the book and looks over at Cozen. *

So, what are you REALLY? Some trickster god just messing with us? A jinx? A Jerry Lewis clone?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
*sniff?* eww. what's that...
So, I've been in this tux now for, what, 5 days now. No one has said if I look fancy or weird or handsome or anything and now it's too late cause I stink from wearing a tux for 5 days.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

Huh?

Well, there are some things that are just...

Well...

The grass is green.
The sky is blue.
The sun is bright and hot.
And ThatWeirdGirl is a beauty.

Five days in a tux or not. If you don't know that, you should.

I don't go into that much, because I wouldn't want you all uncomfortable or creepified, thinking I'm hitting on you.

But beauty is not as important, anyway, as your wit and playful sense of humor. I liked you for that before I saw your picture.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:54 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
*grabs twg's hand and they proceed first to the kitchen, then to the east wing. KGB sets up the privacy screens and throws several boxes of aluminum foil at twg.

*steps around screen only to hear rip* crap, I'll try again.
*wraps teh foil, once more, around self. Steps out to show KGB only to have the top drop to her waist*

HUH? WHAT? WHERE?

Oh, she's back behind privacy screens with CageyBee...

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 8:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

(Ratboy can currently receive messages from this site; he is ignoring you.)

Huh! Make fun of my account's disabilities, will you?

Well, I got a new e-mail... So there!

Uh, sorry about tossing you. I heard it works well with geese and Tolkienist dwarves, though.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, January 27, 2005 9:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
*montanagirl sits on her barstool tossing ping pong balls at her head and watching her shiny new headband bat them away. One goes sailing across the stage, another smacks into the mirror behind the bar.*

Oops! Well at least they're only ping pong balls, as opposed to a large package containing shoes. *Meaningful glance at cozen, then goes back to tossing ping pong balls.*

Hey, do we have a ping pong table somewhere around here? With my headband to assist me, I might actually have a chance playing.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

Well, we USED to have a ping-pong table.

* The Real Me looks around the common room. *

I think that the ping-pong table was a casualty in our confrontation with Inola Teg, along with my "Whack-a-Fox-Executive" game. Put perhaps you can have Cozen construct a new one.

SAY, EVERYBODY! Considering that two of our three judges are incapacitated, why don't we declare this contest a tie and get on with judging the ladies' various bizzare outfits? This time EVERYBODY votes.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, January 28, 2005 12:05 AM

Hey TRM, you know you can change your registered address under your profile, so you would receive all the fascinating messages people are sending you.

Judging the women on what they wear? Isn't that a little shallow and ... ooh, ooh, thatweirdgirl is topless! With another girl in front of her!

See, told you being in a dress didn't affect my masculinity.

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Friday, January 28, 2005 6:39 AM

EBONEZER

*Ebo comes to on the floor.*

Ow. What happened?

*Ebo looks around and notices that she's wearing a dress and a knitted sash. She finds this somewhat interesting. She looks around again, this time noticing that most of the menfolk are wearing dresses. She finds this more interesting.*

Whats goin on here? Wha'd i miss? Who are all you people?

*Ebo ponders this for a moment*

And while were asking these sort of questions, who am I?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Friday, January 28, 2005 1:52 PM

Hey! I'm no longer topless. *rolls eyes* Is that all you read in my post. It is in't it.

But I did find a new outfit and KGB did help me in and out of my clothes.

*TWG jumps from behind the screen in her new borrowed outfit*
My crazy aunt, I know hard to beleive I would have a non-normal relative, let me borrow this, well, I think I get to keep it.

*SimonWho's eyes travel up twg's black boots, up a short leather mini, up a red lace bustier, to twg's face*

Um, feelin' a little objectified. Okay now I'm over it. So, the men tied and the women are competeing? Crap, we have to go up against Mal

Oh well. At least I'm lookin' good and trampy.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, January 28, 2005 2:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
SAY, EVERYBODY! Considering that two of our three judges are incapacitated, why don't we declare this contest a tie and get on with judging the ladies' various bizzare outfits? This time EVERYBODY votes.

I don't think the pageant is over until Mal says it's over. I'll be more than happy to join in if/when she declares that it is time to do so. Until then I'm stayin' right here.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Friday, January 28, 2005 2:45 PM

*wakes up amongst shards of discarded aluminum foil. remembering she's clothed only in Saran Wrap, KGB manages to roll her way to the common room*

twg, you ok? Oh hey, nice bustier, red is definitely your color. Wow, its a good thing you can't see through Saran Wrap very well when its all layered, right?

*rolls under the newly reconstructed pool table*

Wow, this is nice. Uh, if Ebo doesn't remember who she is and no one helps me up, think I could live under here? I could set up a nice little outfit down here, lots of pillows (Sorry, Pillow Me, no offense), lots of satin sheets...maybe a blender or two....

Hey, did I roll through gum?

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

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Friday, January 28, 2005 3:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

*SimonWho's eyes travel up twg's black boots, up a short leather mini, up a red lace bustier, to twg's face*

Um, feelin' a little objectified. Okay now I'm over it.

Oh well. At least I'm lookin' good and trampy.

I must admit that I do occasionally treat sexual objects as women. But only the special ones.

Well, you're lookin' good and trampy, I'm lookin' good and vampy, we should form a double act of some kind. The Doctor and the Weirdo! No, wait, the Weirdoctor! Perfect.

*goes off to write our theme song*

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Friday, January 28, 2005 4:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

*goes off to write our theme song*

ooh, our own theme song?! you so rock!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Friday, January 28, 2005 5:27 PM

On behalf of me, I would like to accept the Sereni-tree sash as the gala pageant winner. The honor you do me, honors my....honor.

Thank you! Thank you all!

Why is there a roll of Saran Wrap stuck under the pool table?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Friday, January 28, 2005 6:28 PM

Ok, let's see what we've got here. There's a leaf dress, tinfoil, saran wrap, and hooker (I mean that in a good way

). I think I might need to go in another direction just to stand out.

*montanagirl goes in back and changes into almost floor length silvery slinky dress. It is complimented with an Evenstar necklace and silver dangly earrings. Unfortunately there are no shoes to go along with it, so she goes ahead and wears her cowboy boots.*

So guys, whadda ya think?

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Friday, January 28, 2005 7:39 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Hey TRM, you know you can change your registered address under your profile, so you would receive all the fascinating messages people are sending you.

Well, I HAVE been known to receive SOME messages.

I am a bit nervous about changing my e-mail since Haken’s system uses our e-mails as our userids. I HAVE tried to change my e-mail through my profile, but then the system would not let me post or reply at all. I have the theory that if I logged off completely and logged back on using the new e-mail address as my userid, things would change and work for me, but I don’t KNOW that. Furthermore, I don’t KNOW that I could get back on at all after that. I really don’t want to lose “TheRealMe” as my alias.

I posted a question about this in the FireflyFansCentral forum almost a month ago, and bumped it a few times, but have received no answer. Haken must be away, busy doing Hakenish things.

Have you actually changed your e-mail in this way?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, January 28, 2005 7:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Hey! I'm no longer topless. *rolls eyes* Is that all you read in my post. It is in't it.

Not at all! I clearly recall, that just BEFORE you went topless, you were encasing your body in form-fitting aluminum foil!

Quote:

*SimonWho's eyes travel up twg's black boots, up a short leather mini, up a red lace bustier, to twg's face*

The Real Me, having more class, does not stare directly at ThatWeirdGirl. Instead, he casually observes her from a strategically placed mirror.

Quote:

Oh well. At least I'm lookin' good and trampy.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

A contender for the next pageant!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, January 28, 2005 7:57 PM

* The Real Me notices that one of the brides, a blonde, is carrying a katana, and looks decidedly angry as she crosses names off a list one by one. The Real Me decides to take action before something gets out of hand. He gathers the brides together, all in pretty white dresses with veils, some with trains. Hmmmm… One, two, three… There seem to be seven of them. *

Hello! I am The Real Me. You are in the Sereni-TREE. No, I don’t know where your husbands are. No, I don’t really know how you got here, but perhaps ThatWeirdGirl over there can help answer that. If you like, we could probably arrange to take you home. In the meantime, make yourself at home here, and let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, January 28, 2005 8:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
*Ebo comes to on the floor.*

Ow. What happened?

*Ebo looks around and notices that she's wearing a dress and a knitted sash. She finds this somewhat interesting. She looks around again, this time noticing that most of the menfolk are wearing dresses. She finds this more interesting.*

Whats goin on here? Wha'd i miss? Who are all you people?

*Ebo ponders this for a moment*

And while were asking these sort of questions, who am I?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

* The Real Me, amidst all the shifting ribbons he is wearing, kneels to examine poor Ebo. He whispers to her. *

Who are we? We are the crew of the Sereni-TREE, and we are having a little pageant.

Who am I? I am The Real Me, your bestest friend, and the one you wanted to vote for in this pageant.

Who are you? You are Mal-licious, a queen and a goddess who likes to hijack threads and bonk people on the head with your scepter.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, January 28, 2005 8:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
The Real Me, having more class, does not stare directly at ThatWeirdGirl. Instead, he casually observes her from a strategically placed mirror.
Quote:

Oh well. At least I'm lookin' good and trampy.

A contender for the next pageant!

I did mention that Rhonda Shear is one of my idols, didn't I? If the 'Up All Night' girl isn't a good trampy role model, I don't know who is.

I was convinced to enter a pageant once. Miss Chick for the Rooster Days Festival. I came in dead last. It was horrible. The girl that did the convincing won runner-up. Apparently in real pageants you need to be a 6'1", blonde, blue-eyed, full figured female. Go figure...

I showed them! I won the weirdest hairstyle award. Hah!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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Saturday, January 29, 2005 2:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
On behalf of me, I would like to accept the Sereni-tree sash as the gala pageant winner. The honor you do me, honors my....honor.

What? After all the effort I went to with my dress and make up? I waxed my legs for you to just take the crown?

I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

Waaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Ahem. Actually, I'll ask my glamorous assistant for advice on how to be a good loser. Much better that you lose gallantly than have embarassing footage of you crying when you win turning up at a later date (think Halle Berry)

Also, I'm having trouble with our theme song. I got as far as "He treats all his patients, while she pulls funny faces" and somehow I have ended up with a three cycled opera where we both die at the end. Oops.

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Saturday, January 29, 2005 3:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
What? After all the effort I went to with my dress and make up? I waxed my legs for you to just take the crown?

(Mal-Licious's body guards step in front of SimonWho and say:)

"Mal-Licious is not accepting requests for interviews or autographs as of yet. You will be notified of any changes at her press conference. Good day."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Saturday, January 29, 2005 4:50 AM

COZEN

Great. The judge steals the prize. That's life in the Black for ya. Guess I'll build a jacuzzi, need a bath anyway.

*Spies lovely ladies in slinky silvery dress, bustier, a leafy number.*

Sigh. Certainly takes the edge off of losing.

*Makes for pool table to fetch tools and spare golem parts and stuff*

Ooh... nice saran wrap ensemble. If modesty was your intent, you coulda done with an extra wrap or five. *Carefully picks gum from dress, leaving a few immodest rips (ever tried removing gum from saranwrap? Ain't easy).*

*Fetches hopefully non-critical bits of plumbing from the boiler room. Zoid, deep in heavy contemplation of more important matters, declines to notice (this may be a good thing).*

*builds jacuzzi*

*Doffing dress, backs up to pool,spreads arms and falls back dreamily.*

kathunk!

___
Water: an important component of your jacuzzi.

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Saturday, January 29, 2005 6:29 AM