CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #18 by TenthCrewMember

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #18

POSTED BY: TENTHCREWMEMBER
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 16, 2005 17:36
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 13490
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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:39 PM

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

The levels of both sophisticated and gutter humor that make me laugh are incalculable! Another great week of soda-snorting, cookie-choking, and side-splitting submissions by many! Selecting only 10 (two weeks in a row I break my limit of 5! How funny you all are!) was hard, as always!

Seems someone got a hold of a magical wish-granting plank, and got lots of votes!

Congrats to TheGreyJedi who has earned his place among the CAPTION TIGHTPANTS HALL OF FAME inductees! I wonder who will be next?...maybe you! Give it a shot, at this weeks selection:

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:47 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

MAL: Is this it? Are you holding out on me? Is Mal Reynolds gonna hafta choke a bitch?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:49 PM

THEGREYJEDI

By the by, I rock. I'm going for three.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:19 PM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Mal: "Okay, I bought the treasure map."
Inara: "Mal... that's a tour map from Blue Sun Land, on Ariel. I've been there."
Mal: "So, what you're saying is, no treasure?"
Inara: "Not unless it's hidden at 'It's a Small 'Verse After All', no."

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:22 PM

WILDHEAVENFARM

"So, how do you like me now?"

Mary
Always a beast, never a burden.

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:25 PM

SHINY

MAL: Do you take installments?

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:25 PM

DRAGONWINE

Mal: This is business Inara. I pay you and you go make the gorram Fox exec happy.
Inara: Fortunately Companions choose their clients. And I don't choose Fox execs for any price. They remind me of those wobbly headed dolls.

It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:31 PM

RYCE

Mal: Do you want to meet the real me now?

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:35 PM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Somewhat naughtier, but maybe not given the trend so far:

Mal: 'Jayne and I chipped in everything we got. We want you to service Kaylee.'

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:38 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

Mal : You wanna explain to me why I saw you posing in this go-se dirty magazine?

Inara: *shocked that Mal reads that go-se*

Keep flying

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 6:55 PM

CALIGARI

Quote:

MAL: I thought a red light over a companion's head meant the same as mistletoe....

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 8:26 PM

CHOLLETT

Mal: "You thought we'd never find out that it was you who was stealing extra monopoly money?"
Inara: (thinking) "Go-se. I never thought he'd look there for it."

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 8:54 PM

SHINY

Quote:
Originally posted by Caligari:
MAL: I thought a red light over a companion's head meant the same as mistletoe....

I don't know why, but that totally cracked me up! :D

Jayne, your mouth is talkin. Might want to look into that.

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 9:06 PM

KMS

Inara: They say your action figure will have character-specific accessories and multiple points of articulation.

Mal: Your action figure dropped this.

KMS
'We're not obsessed; we're focused.'

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 10:08 PM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal - "7% is 7% standard Inara - Ask Jayne!"

or it could be the other way around ...

Inara "7% is 7% standard Mal - Ask Jayne!"

or

Mal - "You`re paying me Now! but Inara I wanna sleep with Kaylee - You know she loves me"

Inara - "Wait till I get hold of that @~&$*& Prairy Harpy ^&@#&*&!!!"

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 1:01 AM

KMS

Quote:
Originally posted by Zol:
Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal: Soooo. Do you have the time?
Inara: Sure. I’m free now.
Mal: Not at these prices, you ain’t.

Or

Mal: Kaylee said to give you this cuz she wants you to bed Simon. What’s that about?
Inara: She thinks he’s sly.
Mal: Maybe her feminine wiles are just broke.

Or

Mal (thinking): Wonder if I should tell her about the red light floating over her head.
Inara (thinking): Don’t look. Don’t look. Why is there flames coming out his nose. Don’t look. Don’t look.

Or

Mal: Found this on my bunk. Wanna explain that?
Inara: You told me you wanted to explore new business opportunies.
Mal: I ain’t no whore.
Inara: No, Mal. You’d be my Companion.

Or

Mal: Do me a favor, will you? Hide this for me. There’s some kid after me who keeps saying, ‘I want my two dollars!’

KMS
'We're not obsessed; we're focused.'--Gizzie

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 2:35 AM

PUMAMANREDUX

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

"Here's the money .. ahh crap its Movie Sign"

or this version

"Here's the money .. aww crap ... we've got MOVIE SIGN !!!!"

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:27 AM

VOLSTOCK

Quote:

Mal: You don't seem to understand, this here is a Detective Comics #27 and contains the first printed pictures of Batman. This has got to be worth more then you charge.

________________________________________________
"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:34 AM

KNIBBLET

GORRRAMIT MAL!!!!!! All y'all are too funny. How am I supposed to top these?

KMS added:
Inara: They say your action figure will have character-specific accessories and multiple points of articulation.
Mal: Your action figure dropped this.

KMS further cracked me up with:
Mal: Do me a favor, will you? Hide this for me. There’s some kid after me who keeps saying, ‘I want my two dollars!’

PumaManReduxe made coffee come out my nose with:
"Here's the money .. ahh crap its Movie Sign"

Volstock slayed me with:
Mal: You don't seem to understand, this here is a Detective Comics #27 and contains the first printed pictures of Batman. This has got to be worth more then you charge.

Also, it's really hard to come up with a good caption when all I want to do is bury my face in that brown coat and inhale deeply. *shudder*

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:43 AM

OPTIMUS1998

Quote:
Originally posted by PumamanRedux:
Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

"Here's the money .. ahh crap its Movie Sign

YES!!
but wait, would that make Jayne:Crow (T. Robot), Wash:Tom Servo, and Kaylee:Gypsy?

...May have been the losing side, Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:51 AM

MDNIGHTRADIO7L

MAL: This is all the money Niska gave us in advance--
INARA: You mean you KEPT it?!

“I loath bus stations. Terrible places. Full of lost luggage and lost souls.”

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:28 AM

KNIBBLET

Quote:
MDNIGHTRADIO7L
I'm in charge of finding myself, and I make sure it never happens.

METHOS!!!!!!!!!!

My web handle of Knibblet was created 8 years ago. Pleased to meetcha!

Knibblet is the slightly evil (hence the 'K') Official Nape Nibbler of the Methos Harem.

The PWFC is celebrating 10 years of Peter Wingfield on Highlander. http://www.pwfc.org/methos/index.html

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:28 AM

INDIGO

Quote:
Originally posted by KMS:
Inara: They say your action figure will have character-specific accessories and multiple points of articulation.

Mal: Your action figure dropped this.

That's fabulous! I can just hear Mal deadpaning this. My vote so far.

I used to be confused, now I'm just not sure.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:03 AM

JRC

Inara: "I'm refunding the money I charged you for last night."
Mal: "Uh, why?"
Inara: "If I tell you, promise me you won't get angry?"

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:07 AM

EST120

NOW can you do my hair?

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:14 AM

MONTANAGIRL

Mal: I don't care how much money you give me, I'm NOT going to stand on the bar and sing "The Hero of Canton!"

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:19 AM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

Quote:
"Here's the money .. ahh crap its Movie Sign"

Yay! An MST reference!!

(btw, you may like my crappy flash animation I threw together : http://reptiliansamurai.0catch.com/Artwork/MFT3K.swf )

Keep flying

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:26 AM

MONTANAGIRL

That was great! I'm still sitting here laughing. How you managed to combine MST3K and Firefly coherently is beyond me, but it sure worked.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:31 AM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

*blush*

Thanks!

Keep flying

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 11:41 AM

SPOOKYJESUS

MAL: How about this much for just your bottom half?

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 12:42 PM

RYCE

Inara: Mal, I really don't want to know what you read while you go go-se!

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 2:46 PM

EBONEZER

From Firefly: The Musical

Mal (singing):
Inara!
You don't have to put on that red light
walk the streets for money
you don't care if it is wrong or if it is right
Inara!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 2:55 PM

DARKJESTER

Mal: I found this bundle of cash in the men's room.

Inara: Wait. That means...... it's go-se dough!

Mal: Are you asking me to dance?

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 3:06 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal: See how much people love those wobbly-headed geisha dolls?

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:07 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

(deleted ... oh AnotherFireflyFan .. I can't view the link for your picture )

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 5:36 PM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJester:

Mal: I found this bundle of cash in the men's room.

Inara: Wait. That means...... it's go-se dough!

Mal: Are you asking me to dance?

*dies* OMG!! THAT IS FUNNY!!!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 6:31 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by PumamanRedux:
(deleted ... oh AnotherFireflyFan .. I can't view the link for your picture )

that's odd, it works for me.

I need to get a better host for it, really. Can flash files be posted in the Blue Sun Room?

Try this link maybe: http://reptiliansamurai.0catch.com/FlashMFT3K.htm

Keep flying

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 6:48 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

took me a few tries but I got to see it ... hoo boy ... maybe Niska would have Mal and the Bots riff on reality TV ....

*L*

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:10 PM

PUMAMANREDUX

More from me:

Mal: "Do you want to play red light, green light?"

or

Mal: "We have a red light special on space monkeys, isn't that great?"

************************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 7:56 PM

DRAGONWINE

Mal: All right here you go. I beleive you said a quarter for every time I called you "whore". I figure this should make us square, up to about middle of last month.
Inara: Easy money! This keeps up and I can retire early. Maybe to Bellerephon Estates.

It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 9:29 PM

ANOTHERFIREFLYFAN

Quote:
took me a few tries but I got to see it ... hoo boy ... maybe Niska would have Mal and the Bots riff on reality TV ....

Yeah, I loved the idea. It's a new kind of torture!

Would love to actually do a show on it, but that would require far more than the skills I have.

Keep flying

[EDIT : forgot this isn't the OB, I actually need to let you know what I'm replying to ;)]

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 2:15 AM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by Zol:
Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal - "Sherpherd Book has put Pictures in the Good Book and it`s going down like hot soup. I particularly like position 69 on page 521"

Darin (Zol.)

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 7:08 AM

KAYLEE4SIMON

Mal: I hold the one map, the one map to rule them all!!

Keep shiny!

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 7:58 AM

SHINY

Mal: Does this wad of cash make me look Phat?

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Friday, March 11, 2005 3:56 AM

GWENHARKER

Mal: So you want to role play Companion and Captain, eh? Well I like that nice red number you have right now. Not sure if the brown coat is gonna fit though. And this ain't enough money to make me take mine in.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 4:08 AM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?

Quote:

Mal: Is this enough for tuition to the Companion Academy? I want to be a boywhore and then we can keep our relationship strictly businesslike!

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got clandestined dealings goin' on.
See my cunningly concealed herd of products at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Ohio? Join us!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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Friday, March 11, 2005 12:34 PM

VOLSTOCK

Mal: I know it ain't much but its all I got, and You can see by that light that we only got a few minutes. I sure would hate to die a virgin.

Inara: You're a virgin, Mal, I had no idea?

Mal: Yes ma'am, and I would be honored to have you de- umm virgin me.

Kaylee: over the intercom... Ain't nothing wrong with Serenity cap'n, just a short in the alarm system. And Inara don't let him try that "
I don't want to die a virgin" thing on ya, he already used that on me.

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Friday, March 11, 2005 2:38 PM

HEROOFCANTONJAYNECOBB

MAL: "Now Inara, i've told you this before: absoultely NO using our money for tea coasters and napkins while you have clients!!!"

Time for some thrilling heroics

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Friday, March 11, 2005 2:43 PM

CUNNINGORANGETOQUE

MAL: "look at how much money i got from betting Jubal would mess up his Rick James impression!!"

OR

MAL: "Don't look so shocked Inara, i just decided that i would take a shot at being one of those men-folk companions...."

OR

MAL: "Crap, i can't pay you your share of the heist...
...........Do you take monopoly money?"

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

TIME FOR SOME THRILLING HEROICS!

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Friday, March 11, 2005 4:04 PM

DRAGONWINE

Inara: I don't do "captions", you can keep you're money and think up your own caption.
Mal: But all the good ones are taken.

It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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