BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!! by Knibblet

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!

POSTED BY: KNIBBLET
UPDATED: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 16:39
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 9906
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Friday, March 4, 2005 11:02 AM

I know how we get Firefly back on the air! We pitch it to CBS as ... "CSI: Persephone".

or to NBC as "Law & Order: The Badger Files".

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Friday, March 4, 2005 11:10 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

F*X could give it another chance with Survivor: Serenity Valley, or Alliance Idol.

______________________

But if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

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Friday, March 4, 2005 12:15 PM

KELLAINA

Oooh.. that is brilliant! Good idea! Hope you don't mind I came up with a couple:

UPN might appreciate Star Trek: Serenity

ABC might like Extreme Makeover: Reaver Edition

If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. -"Angel"

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Friday, March 4, 2005 12:36 PM

FREAKYSINS

Quote:
Originally posted by Kellaina:

UPN might appreciate Star Trek: Serenity

Nah, UPN hates Star Trek... it's not in their target demo. However, The World's Next Top Reaver has a nice ring to it, doncha think?

They say there is strangeness, too dangerous
In our theatres and bookstore shelves
Those who would know what's best for us
Must rise and save us from ourselves

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Friday, March 4, 2005 12:50 PM

THETRAINJOBMAN

In the UK, Channel 4 could produce Serenity Big Brother.
Strand the ship in deep space and each week let the public and crew vote who they want to kick out of the airlock. My guess is that Jayne'll go first, and Kaylee last. (Plus C4 will fiddle the votes because they'll want Simon & Kaylee or Mal & Inara to get it on and boost the ratings).

---------------------------------------------
Kaylee: "No call to be snappy, Jayne."
Jayne: "Are *you* about to jump onto a moving train?!"

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Friday, March 4, 2005 1:11 PM

SHAWNEE

Fantastic! Firefly and the ensuing spin-offs could have their own channel. ShinyTV? Nah, no good. I'll have to think on this one.

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Friday, March 4, 2005 2:48 PM

THETRAINJOBMAN

Quote:
Originally posted by Shawnee:
. ShinyTV? Nah, no good. I'll have to think on this one.

How about SereniTV (it works best if you say it out loud, 'Serenity-vee').

---------------------------------------------
Kaylee: "No call to be snappy, Jayne."
Jayne: "Are *you* about to jump onto a moving train?!"

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Friday, March 4, 2005 2:50 PM

DARKJESTER

How about Persephone-TV? And since everything comes over the cortex broadband you won't need an Ariel........

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Friday, March 4, 2005 6:23 PM

RAT

Quote:
Originally posted by Freakysins:
The World's Next Top Reaver has a nice ring to it, doncha think?

How 'bout Reaver in the city?

-Ratboy

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Friday, March 4, 2005 6:53 PM

IMEARLY

lets go for:

Companion Housewives

Leave it to Reaver

So you're a bounty hunter.
No, that ain't it at all.
Then what are you?
I'm a bounty hunter.

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Saturday, March 5, 2005 3:09 AM

THEREAVER

TV:
Reaver Eye for the Alliance Guy
Battlestar Serenity

FILM:
Saving Private Reynolds
Serenity 2: Unification Day
Serenity 3: Rise of the Reavers
There's Something About River
Meet Jayne's Parents

I'll rape you to death.
I'll eat your flesh.
I'll sew your skin into my clothes.
If you're very very lucky, I'll do it in that order - TheReaver

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Saturday, March 5, 2005 3:30 AM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Quote:
Originally posted by ImEarly:
lets go for:
Leave it to Reaver

Los Angeles CA (AP)--Disaster struck again on the set of the popular sitcom "Leave it To Reaver" as the body of Jack Stone--known to fans of the program as "Father"--was found brutally murdered in his trailer.

Police describe the slaying as particularly cruel. "Well, we're pretty sure he was raped to death, and his flesh was eaten. It appears that his skin was removed as well, and the cutting pattern indicates that it was intended to be sewn into someone's clothing. Of course, we can't be sure it was done in that order," said police detective Larry Straw.

The killing of Mr. Stone is the fifth murder to take place on the set of the television show. Police sources indicate that a single individual may have been behind all five killings.

Fox executives are taking the news hard. In an official press release, the network stated, "Once again, the Fox network is saddened by this loss. The death of Mr. Stone will mean that we will have to cast yet another replacement actor for the part...On the other hand, salary negotiations were coming up, and we at Fox are pleased to say that as a result of these murders, we've been able to keep production costs down."

The only original cast member left is "Reaver"--a precocious youngster whose hobbies include self-mutilation, playing with knives and making leather clothing.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Saturday, March 5, 2005 5:54 AM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Saturday, March 5, 2005 5:32 PM

SHINY4004

Ok, now THAT was BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal

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Saturday, March 5, 2005 5:42 PM

DARKJESTER

Seconded, Shiny4004! Tipping o' the hat to InevitableBetrayal for the press release!

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Sunday, March 6, 2005 10:47 AM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJester:
Tipping o' the hat to InevitableBetrayal for the press release!

Thank you very much! When I heard "Leave it to Reaver" my mind played out that scenario immediately, so I thought I'd share. It's about time that the journalism degree did somebody some good!

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Monday, March 7, 2005 10:10 AM

ODDNESS2HER

Desperate Browncoats?

Everybody Loves Inara?

Malcolm in the Middle? Oh, wait, that's been done.

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Monday, March 7, 2005 10:30 AM

SHINY4004

lol Seriously though, really great job. Now I command you to do another one, equally as brillant of course.

"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal

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Monday, March 7, 2005 10:34 AM

KNIBBLET

Ours is an odd and wonderful bunch. Thanks for making me laugh.
Let's have more ... come on, get to work.

Alliance in the Family: A story about a bigoted alliance hat wearer and the family who drives him crazy.

Star Whores: Reality program built around freshman year at Sinon Companion Academy.
Wait for the episode on Hell Week.

Kate and Vera: A story about a single mom who inherits Jayne's very favorite gun.

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Monday, March 7, 2005 12:43 PM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Quote:
Originally posted by Shiny4004:
lol Seriously though, really great job. Now I command you to do another one, equally as brillant of course.

You've stumbled onto my only weakness! When I try to be funny, it sucks. I'll tell you what, I'll keep my eye on the board and if inspiration strikes, well then...

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Monday, March 7, 2005 1:19 PM

CORNCOBB

Earth-that-was: Firefly the Early Years
Stargate: Persephone
Zoe, Warrior Princess

"Gorramit Mal... I've forgotten my line."

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 9:24 AM

SHINY4004

Wait...you WEREN'T trying to be funny?? Can I borrow your brain for awhile then?

I have to TRY to be funny all the time...are you saying that that creative piece just came to you without you trying at all to be funny? I'm tres jealous right now. lol

"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 9:42 AM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Actually, what happened in my sick little brain was basically this: "'Leave it to Reaver'? Are they insane?? Reaver would wind up killing Father!" After that, my mind said, "My God--what would the press release on that look like?" Then I just wrote it. So very sorry. I guess some people liked my "Top 10 Things I Learned From Firefly", so if it's more guffaws you're after, try that thread (in the episodes discussions).

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 9:46 AM

WHISPER

you guys crack me up!!

how about:

According to Jayne

Inara's Closet

Boy meets Ship

Saved by the Crazy-Ivan

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Tuesday, March 8, 2005 11:54 AM

KNIBBLET

OH MY GODS, you are all hysterical!!!!!!

"Pimp my 'Fly": A space rapper (sp-rapper) tricks out old ships and returns them to their owners.

"Fear Factor 2500": You want scary, how about eating body parts ... with Reavers ... eeeks

"Lifestyles of the Ripped and Fabulous": Jayne, Jayne, Jayne. Need I say more?

"A Day in the Core (Corps)": Reality program featuring Alliance Troopers showing people their favorite big city hangouts and the reality of the training involved in preparing to allow badly needed drugs get stole right out from under yer noses.

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 4:24 PM

WHISPER

Here are some more:

Newlyweds: Wash and Zoe

Captian Swap (the captian of an unsuspecting ship has to trade with a Reaver captian for two weeks- if he can survive that long)

The Bachelor- Jayne

For Love or Money- Inara

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 4:27 PM

KNIBBLET

Captain Swap ... BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Wednesday, March 9, 2005 4:44 PM

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

In the spirit of making fun of F*x shows, I submmit:

AMW: Alliance's Most Wanted.

COPS: COBBS.

Hehe, I can just visualise the intro for COBBS:

High speed chase involving Wash and the Mule, shirtless Jayne getting tackled by an Alliance soldier, River being interviewed and not making any sense, and Inara getting pinched in a prostitiution sting.

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 1:35 AM

HAWK

Simesky and Jayne: Retro cop show with Da Cobb and Da Tam; "Spill the beans Huggy Badger!"

Core Slingers: Tourists pay to smuggle cargo with the BDH; "Reavers!" "TAKE A PICTURE!!!!"

Everybody Loves Simon: Comforting blandness in this domestic sitcom, where Sime's parents move across the street from him and River. I daresay the title will invoke coos of agreement from the females (and some males) hereabouts!

The Good Book: Heated studio audience debate with the Shepherd of Shepherds. Whodababydaddy? "Any chance we'll see the skeletons in your closet Shep?" "Not gonna happen."

Mule Rider: Wash and his effete talking buggy ride the barren desrts of the border worlds, solving crimes and busting villains. Just don't mention the 'Hoff... (COMING 2005: Hover Mule Rider!)

Reaver affairs: Soap set in the border world hovels of everybody's favourite cannibal caste! The participants abuse, cheat and shout unintelligably at each other... Business as usual.

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 6:06 AM

KNIBBLET

Nutters, yer all nutters!

In the Heat of the Black: Crime drama on a small backwater moon. "They call me MR. COBB!"

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 12:41 PM

HAWK

Oh, I ain't done...

Bunkmates: Three girls and three guys are whisked off to an exotic location (barren border planet, where they must work on a moisture farm, ably assisted by Jayne Cobb and Inara Serra! The farmhands must muck in whilst also tring to steal their hosts' hearts! Every week viewers phone in to determine who stays on and who's fed to the Reavers... Yeesh...

Tom Clancy's Washburne: The pilot turned commando of War Stories is captured by the Alliance to go on thrilling espionage missions. Watch him whoop and shoot his way through the six part series with delight writ large 'pon thy face. Guns! Girls! Inevitable betrayal (Not you InevitableBetrayal)! It's all here!

Six Feet Under (Scattered Across a Six Foot Radius): The Fisher Funeral Emporium decide the good ship Serenity holds promising business oppurtunities. It's all hands to the mops when yet another new client is put through the engines!

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 6:00 PM

KAYSKY

Or any of these shows could pick it up...

Law and Order: The Black
The Real World: Serenity
8 Simple Rules for Living on Serenity
Stargate: Serenity
Three's Company, Nine's a Crowd

Hmm...I'm sure I've got some good one's in my brain somewhere. I'll be sure to post them if I ever come up with 'em.

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Thursday, March 10, 2005 10:38 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Okay, I'm going 80s...

Jayne, P. I. - with Wash filling in for TC, Simon as Rick and Book as Higgins (of course, I'm not sure I'd want to see Jayne in the OP shorts).

The Six Million Dollar Brain - starring River, natch.

Jiangyin Vice - Mal and Wash as wise cracking pastel wearing detectives.

* editted to add: Although I couldn't think of an appropriate title for the A-Team, River could be Murdock, Zoe as Face, Book as Hannibal Smith, and Jayne as BA.

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Friday, March 11, 2005 4:19 AM

XENOCIDE

Nanny 9-11:Serenity on board...
Blue handed nanny comes and helps mal keep their unruly family in good order. No more pitter patter of big combat boots.

Trading spaces: Firefly. Mal and Jayne redecorate Inara's shuttle. Inara and Kaylee update the captains room with a shiny pink toilet!
Wash and River can be our designers.

30 credits a day: Kaylee's culinary adventures in the verse. Mmmmm. Strawberries.

-Eli

If voting mattered, they'd make it illegal.
http://www.bcpl.net/~wilsonr/farpoint.html

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Friday, March 11, 2005 5:44 AM

KNIBBLET

Quote:
Originally posted by SoupCatcher:
... couldn't think of an appropriate title for the A-Team, ...

Thanks to Alan for the Space A-Team aka "SPA-Team"?

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

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Friday, March 11, 2005 1:46 PM

VOLSTOCK

Bonanza: 2517

Cobb: The 7% Hired Gun

Kaylee's PrarieHarpy Home Companion:
This week we learn how to overhall a Firefly without dirtying our ruffles.

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Friday, March 11, 2005 8:12 PM

NUMEROCINCUENTAUNO

Did I miss someone suggesting "Survivor: Outer Rim"?

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Friday, March 11, 2005 10:18 PM

SIXGUN

How 'bout:

This Old Ship-With your hostess, Kaywineth Lee Frye. Today we're going to replace the catalyzer on this old Firefly class transport.

Browncoat M*A*S*H-Hawkeye Reynolds, Hotlips Sera and the gang help Dr. Tam on the hospital ship Serenity during the war with hi-larious results. Dr. Tam's sister, Corporal Tam, pretends to be crazy to get out of the army.

Joe Fillionaire-50 companions are brought aboard Serenity thinking they're going to meet a prosperous ship's captain. In reality he's just an actor in tight pants. Antics ensue.

Prairie Home Companion-Can 20 Senon graduates survive 39 days on a backwater moon without running water or make up for the chance at a million credits and a place on Joe Fillionaire?

Dude, Where's My Ship?-Bester get's his own spinoff series.

I, Dinosaur-Animated series about talking dinosaurs, all voiced by Alan Tudyk.

Well, as a rule I say girl folk ain't to be trusted.

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Monday, March 14, 2005 1:37 PM

KNIBBLET

Hi-Larious!!!!!!!!!! Thanks

Quote:
Originally posted by SixGun:
Dude, Where's My Ship?-Bester get's his own spinoff series.
Quote:

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Monday, March 14, 2005 1:39 PM

KNIBBLET

Yer sick folk, Volstock. Congrats for making milk come out my nose. To top that, it was breast milk. *snerk*

Quote:
Originally posted by Volstock:
Bonanza: 2517
Kaylee's PrarieHarpy Home Companion:
This week we learn how to overhall a Firefly without dirtying our ruffles.

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Monday, March 14, 2005 2:58 PM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Quote:
Originally posted by SixGun:
Joe Fillionaire-50 companions are brought aboard Serenity thinking they're going to meet a prosperous ship's captain. In reality he's just an actor in tight pants. Antics ensue.

Dude, the "antics ensue" totally makes it for me. I damned near busted a gut laughing. Thanks for the chuckles.

Of course, the downside is that my wife now thinks I'm insane.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Monday, March 14, 2005 4:55 PM

MALICIOUS

Quote:
Originally posted by SixGun:
Dude, Where's My Ship?-Bester get's his own spinoff series.

SWEET!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Monday, March 14, 2005 7:45 PM

MONTANAGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by SixGun:
How 'bout:

Dude, Where's My Ship?-Bester get's his own spinoff series.

I third the kudos for this one. As Mistress Mal put it, "SWEET!"

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Monday, March 14, 2005 8:55 PM

SIXGUN

Actually I'd like to see Bester in another series. That guy was funny.

Well, as a rule I say girl folk ain't to be trusted.

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Monday, March 14, 2005 9:15 PM

SIXGUN

Quote:
Originally posted by InevitableBetrayal:

Dude, the "antics ensue" totally makes it for me. I damned near busted a gut laughing. Thanks for the chuckles.

Of course, the downside is that my wife now thinks I'm insane.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

My work here is done.

Well, as a rule I say girl folk ain't to be trusted.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005 4:39 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Quote:
Originally posted by SixGun:
My work here is done.

And done extremely well!!!

(SoupCatcher chimes in a few days late and some dollars short)

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