The SereniTREE on Rukus, Pleasure Planet of the Cozen Cluster by TheRealMe

Fine, I'll call you T then.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:37 PM

SIMONSCANDYAPPLE

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
I just realized that I've been rude and haven't said WELCOME!!! to SimonsCandyApple.

*Puts down her burger, runs over and gives SCA a hug.*

I must congratulate your bravery in jumping right into the treehouse on your first day. It took me about a month to work up the nerve to venture into this nuthouse!

By the way, get used to being SCA or Apple, because we're all too lazy to use full names 'round here. I'm actually montanagirl, but I don't think anyone's ever called me that. Except maybe when TRM first added me to the passenger manifest over on the floating treehouse.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

Well bravery is one of my finer qualities. And you all looked like a safe bunch of nuts, so I figured I'd take my chances.

Thanks for the welcoming! I feel so loved! And call me Apple. I might read 'SCA' and wonder what the hell that is. I'm a bit slow. I'm long overdue for a tuneup.

________
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away. Wanna bite?

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
(are you listening Rat?)

Nope!

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
Fine, I'll call you T then.

I meant about being special in more ways then one.

-Ratboy

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:44 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonsCandyApple:
I'm long overdue for a tuneup.

Then you should fit right in!.....With Sparky!

-Ratboy

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
I meant about being special in more ways then one.

But you ARE, and in a good way. I mean, who else could convince me to join a mutiny by using sock puppets to showcase his management style? Or keep me supplied with virtual Pepsi, even though he's got rootbeer running through his veins? And, um, wait a minute, I'll think of some more good qualities here soon, I know I will.

*Sound of crickets chirping in background.*

Anyway, I'm calling you T!

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
I'm calling you T!

Fine, but call me MR.T .

-Ratboy

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:59 PM

I just had an image of Pumbaa in The Lion King going, "They call me MR. Pig!" I don't know why. As my tag says, my mind sometimes wanders, and I'm not always sure where it goes on these little trips.

Do you need me to buy you some gold chains for your Mr.T starter kit? I think I saw a jewelry store in the resort.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 9:07 PM

If I see your mind out and about, I'll let you know!

Gold chains???

Huh?

-Ratboy

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 9:16 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

*She snaps her fingers and her magical green tambourine appears in her grasp.*

Heh. Green tambourine! I get it!

ThatWeirdGirl, in keeping with the Egyptian theme, how about singing Steve Martin's "King Tut" next?

"...got a condo made o' stone-a! KING TUT!"

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 9:23 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
"...got a condo made o' stone-a! KING TUT!"

I use' to know a guy who could do King Tut perfectly!

-Ratboy

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005 10:03 PM

(Tut! Tut!)

Dancin' by the Nile!

(Disco Tut! Tut!)

The ladies like his style!

(Boss Tut! Tut!)

He ate a crocodile!

(Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut!)

Ah, for the days when I could remember ALL the lyrics. Help us, ThatWeirdGirl! You're our only hope!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 2:03 AM

MAI

When I was a little kid I LOVED this song!
I always got such a kick out of the monkey part. Yea, ok, so I still think its hilarious! This is what I remember:

King Tut
How'd you get so funky? Funky Tut
They said you were a monkey.
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut
King Tut
Now if I'd known,
They'd line up just to see him, King Tut
I'd've taken all that money,
And bought a museum. King Tut
Buried with a donkey, Funky Tut
He's my favorite honkey.
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, King Tut
Dancing by the Nile, Disco dancing
All The ladies love his style.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:55 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Help us, ThatWeirdGirl! You're our only hope!

*twg, stops torturing Ebo, softly remimnding her that she is free to touch Static in any other thread...just not this one. She then wraps her sarong around her and places one of those arrow-thru-the-head headbands on...*
Well, since you asked nicely...I do happen to have this in my iTunes:
Now when he was a young man he never thought he'd see (King Tut)
People stand in line to see the boy king (King Tut)
How'd you get so funky (funky Tut) *wriggle*
Then you'd do the monkey *does monkey*
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia King Tut)
Now if I'd known the line would form to see him (King Tut)
I'd take up all my money and buy me a museum (King Tut)
Buried with a donkey (funky Tut)
He's my favorite honky
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia King Tut) *TRM joins in*
Dancing by the Nile (disco Tut)*bus stop*
Ladies loved the style (boss Tut)
Rocking for a mile (rockin Tut)
He ate a crocodile
He gave his life for tourism (tut, tut, tut)
Golden idol (tut, tut, tut)
He's an Egyptian! (tut, tut, tut)
They're selling you (King Tut)
Now when I die now don't think I'm a nut
Don't want no fancy funeral just one like old King Tut (King Tut)
He coulda won a grammy (King Tut)
Buried in his jammies
(Born in Arizona moved to Babylonia
Born in Arizona got a condo made of stone-a (sic) King Tut)

*twg removes the headband...gives Ebo a big hug and whispers a secret in her ear. twg returns to her beloved's arms with two brats, a pint, and a kiss*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:09 AM

* Stunned by the performance of ThatWeirdGirl, The Real Me falls to his knees and bows humbly. *

We are not worthy!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
*twg removes the headband...gives Ebo a big hug and whispers a secret in her ear. twg returns to her beloved's arms with two brats, a pint, and a kiss*

Oh, ThatWeirdGirl, I can get you a couple of highchairs for your brats. They seem very well behaved. Is it near feeding time?

* The Real Me thinks a moment. *

Uh, since I was talking about brats sizzling on the grill for us to eat, I think that I will stop this sad joke HERE.

Sorry.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:09 AM

STATIC

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

Born in Arizona got a condo made of stone-a (sic) King Tut)

I have never loved you more than I do at this very moment.

Quote:

*twg removes the headband...gives Ebo a big hug and whispers a secret in her ear. twg returns to her beloved's arms with two brats, a pint, and a kiss*

**Smiles and opens the blanket so his beloved can cuddle with him. He munches the bratWURST (glares at Simon) and sips his pint as he watches the rest of their friends enjoy themselves**

I must say. . .this thread has taken the most delightful of turns. I love a good beach party.

==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:31 AM

JAKE7

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* A spot of light appears in mid-air near the campfire, and slowly expands to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. From this hole in reality steps The Real Me. With some effort, he pulls a grill after him, already sizzling with burgers, brats, hot dogs, and even a veggie burger or two for folks as like those things. *

Greetings, everyone! I have dinner ready!

Oh, TRM! You dear, WONDERFUL man!

*jake7, starving, bounds over to get a hot dog and all the fixin's. Not only does Sparky have condiments, but also potato salad, cole slaw, green salad and a host of other tasty side dishes. jake7 finishes filling her plate and goes back to her chair on the beach and gratefully tucks in*

TRM, this is DELICIOUS! Where'd you learn to cook like this?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:39 AM

JAKE7

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:
ThatWeirdGirl, in keeping with the Egyptian theme, how about singing Steve Martin's "King Tut" next?

Ah! One of my all-time favorite songs!

My favorite part is:
If I'd known, they'd line up just to see him,
I'd taken all my money, and bought me museum!

Just kills me!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 9:27 AM

SIMONWHO

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:

**Smiles and opens the blanket so his beloved can cuddle with him. He munches the bratWURST (glares at Simon) and sips his pint as he watches the rest of their friends enjoy themselves**

What did I do to be oh so glared at? Oh, the false accusations, I can't take it anymore...

Anyone else want to play hangman? Beach party word games, always a favourite at sunset.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 9:35 AM

INDIGO

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
"You know. . .I need to scare up some firewood or somesuch."

**This being a pleasure planet of Cozen's design, a large wave breaks upon the shore, running up near Static's feet. When the water recedes, Static notices that a large ammount of driftwood has been deposited.

Dry driftwood. Wow.

Indigo strokes into the beach, stands up, pulls off her dive mask and snorkle and waves a cheery hello. Her Bloody Mary Roberts persona washed away by the warm, clean ocean water. Her tan is noticeably improved.

"Oh there you all are! Sorry I've been away so long; I got really distracted by this gorgeous cove I found -- the diving is perfect! You wouldn't believe the fish and coral. Oh hey, beach party!"

She wades ashore and pulls out of her Bag of Holding a couple of bottles of retsina and raki, some olives, pita, feta, several fish, and a beach cloth.

Humming "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date... ah heck, what is time anyway?"

Japanese Windows error msg:
Screen.
Mind.
Both are Blank.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 9:55 AM

STATIC

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Quote:
Originally posted by Static:

**Smiles and opens the blanket so his beloved can cuddle with him. He munches the bratWURST (glares at Simon) and sips his pint as he watches the rest of their friends enjoy themselves**

What did I do to be oh so glared at? Oh, the false accusations, I can't take it anymore...

Anyone else want to play hangman? Beach party word games, always a favourite at sunset.

D'OH!!!!

Sorrysorrysorry!!!!

I meant to glare at TRM!!!!

About the 'brat' comment!

Come back to us!

==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 12:17 PM

MALICIOUS

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
During this time, we have created fabulous inventions, acquired superpowers of various kinds, declared war on other threads, moved into a treehouse, fought an Eldritch Horror from the Purple Dimension for its ice cream, turned our treehouse into a floating air-ship, had a gala pageant where the men had to wear frilly or slinky dresses, turned our air-ship into a starship, fought kidnappers and mutineers, and now we’re here, on the planet Rukus, taking a break while we search out the whereabouts of Cozen, once one of our number, but who inexplicably transformed into a star cluster after Rat and I tried to put a stop to his kidnapping addiction.

Ahhhhhhhhh....GOOOOD times!! (sings) "Memreeeeees, light the corners of my miiiiiiind...Misty, water-colored mehemreeeeees....."

Welcome, SCA! You don't, by any chance, want to change your name to SimonsPetCandyApple, doya?

Okay, okay! I'm by the freakin' fire! (Mal-Licious glances longingly back at the Ferrari.) So feed me already! Sheesh!]

ETA: I just bumped the VERY FIRST three threads EVER about the clubhouse! They are in the Talk Story forum! Enjoy.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 1:46 PM

STATIC

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

Okay, okay! I'm by the freakin' fire! (Mal-Licious glances longingly back at the Ferrari.) So feed me already! Sheesh!

*grins at Malicious and gets up from being entwined with his beloved, strolls over to the grill and fixes up a burger with all the fixin's, and pulls a pint of Guiness, bringing them back to the redheaded before returning to the blanket with TWG*

There ya go, Red! And happy St. Pat's!

==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 2:02 PM

INDIGO

Indigo stands on the edge of the shore, gnawing on the last bit of olive wood roasted octopus and staring out into a foriegn field of stars. Laughter sparks up into the sky behind her along with the bonfire... the crew is happy. It was good to come here and she is glad to be among them.

She glances to the side along the beach. The Wash and Zoe clones seem to be among the happy couples delightfully in flagrante delicto. "Huh, well. Well..."

Pleasure Planet seems to have a wonderful amount of phosphoresence in the sea. She whistles back, daring, "The sea and stars are one tonight; come dive in the universe!" and dives deep into the night surf. She rises and begins to sing song on her back, staring up into the night sky, thinking of River. The River of Stars.

"Deep inside of a parallel universe
It's getting harder and harder
To tell what came first

Under water where thoughts can breath Easily
Far away you were made in a sea
Just like me...

Staring straight up into the sky
Oh my my a solar system that fits
in your eye Microcosm

You could die but you're never dead spider web
Take a look at the star in
Your head fields of space kid...

Psychic changes are born in your heart Entertain
a nervous breakthrough that make us the same
Bless your heart girl..."
-Red Hot Chili Peppers; Californication

Japanese Windows error msg:
Screen.
Mind.
Both are Blank.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:09 PM

MALICIOUS

"Somewhere, beyond the sea
somewhere waitin' for me
my lover stands on golden sands
and watches the ships that go sailin'"

Bobby Darin.
Gone but not forgotten.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:11 PM

MALICIOUS

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
*grins at Malicious and gets up from being entwined with his beloved, strolls over to the grill and fixes up a burger with all the fixin's, and pulls a pint of Guiness, bringing them back to the redheaded before returning to the blanket with TWG*

There ya go, Red! And happy St. Pat's!

What? I have to hold them myself?

Sure and same to you, Static me foine lad.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:41 PM

SIMONWHO

Och, I was just teasing you Static, me laddie. Besides, I am responsible for some of the worst puns in these threads, nay in all of history.

Are any ladies going to do the whole grass skirt hula thingy? Because I've got a ukele here to strum if you like.

Oh and please don't mention St Patrick's Day. It's a sore point for me as all of the classic English pubs are being closed and turned into synthetic Irish themed pubs. Not actual Irish pubs but a horrible bastardisation of them, complete with rope along the bar and bicycles in the window. Grrrr.

Ooooooooo, I tell you what we've forgotten. To dig a hole! You go to the beach, you've got to dig a hole, as big as you possibly can (although never quite as big as you hoped).

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

...who inexplicably transformed into a star cluster after Rat and I tried to put a stop to his kidnapping addiction.

Squah!

*Black Jack Silver glides toward the beach, towing a largish silver tray heavily laden with Savoy Truffles. BJS is a smallish bird, and the load is a heavyish load, so the landing is necessarily difficult. The barbeque is knocked over a bit, hottish patties and bratwursts and sticky condiments are a bit spread out over people, places and things. The parrot comes to a suddenish stop beak first into the Ferrari's left front Pirelli. However, the truffles tray skims smoothly along the sandy beach, easing to a gentle stop nearest to the cuddly couple*

Squouch!

Ya know, I coulda seen the car better if it was still yellow....

*Unruffles a sandy feather or two. Ambles over to TRM, summons the prototype River clone that doesn't hugely resemble Ebonezer and isn't grossly hirsute.*

The Riverclone speaks: "There are no flocks, just one blue box."

***
Keepin' them FF references alive

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 4:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Oh and please don't mention St Patrick's Day. It's a sore point for me as all of the classic English pubs are being closed and turned into synthetic Irish themed pubs. Not actual Irish pubs but a horrible bastardisation of them, complete with rope along the bar and bicycles in the window. Grrrr.

*Looks up from the small, handheld TV she had been watching.*

Don't think of it as St. Patrick's Day, think of it as Day 1 of the two best days of the year: opening round of the NCAA playoffs!!!! Oh wait, you're British and you don't care about our basketball. Oh well, don't mind me. I'm going to be mighty distracted in the next couple of days. Especially when the ACC teams (especially my Dukies) are playing.

*Sighs* I love college basketball.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 4:59 PM

SIMONWHO

See, it's not just the fact that it's basketball, every country has its own sports (although if we host a world series, we invite other countries besides our own). But college basketball? What's up with that? Here, even for major sports like football (soccer), it's only gushing parents that turn up for university matches and they're certainly not televised.

Yet I understand they're huge in America. Huge! Oh, and is this blue box about 7 feet high, with a light on top and emitting a humming sound? If so, that's my one. Just leave it anywhere, I'll pick it up later.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
If I see your mind out and about, I'll let you know!

Gold chains??? Huh?

-Ratboy

Rat?

* The Real Me stares in disbelief. *

Rat? Is it possible that you do NOT know who “Mister T” is? He of the massive muscles and equally massive amounts of gold jewelry? Why, he was quite popular only… uh… let me see, how many years would that have been? Only about…

Oh, right. You probably weren’t born yet!

* The Real Me starts feeling OLD again. *

“Heh! Kids these days! *cough cough* Why, Sonny, when I was young… *cough* Well, we knew all the words to King Tut, that’s for damn sure… And we watched A-Team on that video box do-hicky. ‘Course, back then we only had three channels. Yep, just three. Four sometimes when PBS came in clear. And Arnold Ziffel on Green Acres… Heh. That little guy carried the show!”

* The Old Me smiles. *

“That reminds me of a story…”

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
*Sighs* I love college basketball.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

*BJS begins ascent up MG's scantlily clad....*

Squarf!

Hmm, not much in the way of clothing to get a grip on. And, from a parrot's dietary perspective, the choclaty bits ain't helpin'

*Remembers he has wing things.*

*Flappety flaps onto MG's right shoulder, nibbles at the well tanned right ear*

Observation deck o' the hotel. 200 foot wide plasma tv. Yer favourite players will have noses the size of basketballs. Betting forms, massage tables, comfy massaging chairs and a Brent Favre masseuse (with Dale Earnhart trainee). 64,000 bottles of chilled pepsi. Steakhouse next to the vegan cafeteria. The Universe's most profoundly stocked condomery, sadly underutilised. 64,001 litre bottles of the 'verse's best rootbeers. And, sorta shambling in the corner, 7 grooms awaiting a like number of blushing Brides.

Zero (0) dimensional portals. Sqoink! TRM: yer on yer own on this one.

Mai: you've set a record for non-nakedness. You've either grown as a person, or have not yet stumbled upon the right context. Here's hopin!

***
Gone the R-rate shenanigans
With SereniTree-ers.
So it goes, but we move on
To cold show-ow-ers.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by jake7:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Greetings, everyone! I have dinner ready!

TRM, this is DELICIOUS! Where'd you learn to cook like this?

Jake7, while it is true that I can adequately boil pasta in water, dump the contents of cans into pots to heat them up, and shove frozen food into the oven, I must admit that otherwise, I am not much of a cook. This feast was prepared by Bride7.

* At the grill, Bride7 smiles and waves. *

The Brides have been minor characters on the SereniTree for a while, now, but I’ve been having trouble involving them in our plots (*whisper* since they’re not really real!). They were created during the Gala Pageant of Cross Dressing Men. The joke that created them was sort of funny, but there has been no exit path for them, and I’m afraid that they’ve sort of languished. I’m going to try to arrange some interviews with Cozen’s parrot to see if they can get jobs here. Or maybe I can find seven brothers to marry them.

* The Real Me fidgets. He is experiencing some uncomfortable feeling, as if someone were glaring at him. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Oh, and is this blue box about 7 feet high, with a light on top and emitting a humming sound? If so, that's my one. Just leave it anywhere, I'll pick it up later.

Um, er, you might wanna be, like, really careful about how you deploy the workings of that there box, eh? No telling what we all might become should you press the "RUN" button.

***
Terror. Frankly, a reasonable emotion.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
The Universe's most profoundly stocked condomery, sadly underutilised.

I've been wanting to say this my entire life (or at least since I saw Meaning of Life). *Ahem* I want you to sell me a condom, for I am a Protestant!

Quote:
Observation deck o' the hotel. 200 foot wide plasma tv. Yer favourite players will have noses the size of basketballs. Betting forms, massage tables, comfy massaging chairs and a Brent Favre masseuse (with Dale Earnhart trainee). 64,000 bottles of chilled pepsi. Steakhouse next to the vegan cafeteria.

I love you, man. You have given me all the elements of the triumverate that I worship: Duke, Dale, and the Packers. Plus Pepsi and steak. What more could a girl ask for?

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Before that, the men had to slavishly attend to the ladies, but we've since become liberated.

And you've been waited on slavishly yourself since then if I recall correctly. And I do because I was doing the waiting with twg. (Back when I was practicing my wiles. )

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

You know, I tend not to abbreviate your name. I’ve always called you ‘MontanaGirl’. SimonsCandyApple is a bit long, though.

Pardon me. I’ll be right back.

* The Real Me steps back through the dimensional portal but quickly returns, bearing hammocks and a pot containing four long palm fronds (genuine Florida palm fronds, only mildly wilted). He attaches four of the hammocks among a nearby cluster of trees, parallel to one another. The Real Me returns to the group of people around the campfire. *

MontanaGirl, it occurs to me that I never properly thanked you for the wiles-practicing that you did on me so long ago. Please forgive my rudeness for the long delay. If you will allow it, I will express my appreciation now.

* Gently, The Real Me picks up MontanaGirl (along with her hand-held TV), carries her over to the hammocks, and carefully deposits her in one. He places a drink in her hand, complete with one of those tiny little umbrellas (that actually works!). The Real Me starts the hammock swaying, and begins to fan MontanaGirl with a palm frond. The hammock has been positioned to keep the ever-setting sun out of MontanaGirl’s eyes, and to take advantage of the pleasant breeze coming off the ocean. *

This is how we used to do things back in the time of “The Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl Clubhouse”. Of all of the minions of those days, I am the last and greatest, unless Gunhand should return.

Look, I can even recite poetry:

“In Xanadu did Kublai Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree,
Where Alph, the sacred river ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to the flowing sea.”

(Well, there you have it! But what that fuzzy little smart-mouthed alien had to do with Olivia Newton John, I’ll never understand.)

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:38 PM

* While "minioning" to MontanaGirl, The Real Me notices Mal-licious near the fire. *

Ooooops!

Ebo Golem! Go pick up the top half of Sparky and bring him here, please.

* The Ebo Golem moves to comply. It goes to fetch Sparky, who is still face down in the sand making “Dance Like an Egyptian” motions with his arms. The Ebo Golem carries Sparky back to the hammock area. *

Good, Ebo Golem. Stand there just like that and hold him upright.

* The Real Me places a palm frond in one of Sparky’s hands. Sparky begins to wave it at MontanaGirl. The Real Me walks over to Mal-licious, picks her up, and carries her to another hammock. While he does this, The Real Me is somewhat wary of Mal-licious’ bionic spine, and is careful that it doesn’t shoot out spikes at him or start glowing red. The Real Me places Mal-licious in another hammock and picks up a second palm frond. *

*Sigh*

You know, Mal, you are going to cause all sorts of time-warp paradoxes by bumping those ancient clubhouse threads. You probably should have linked to them, instead. There’s already people who think they are active, and are joining up on both the I AM NOT A GUY and the I AM A GUY threads. This might start the battles of the sexes all over again.

Carnage! Destruction! Eunuchs!

* The Real Me thinks back fondly on those old times. *

Yeah, it’s been a long ride. Why, back when I first met her, Ebo hated me…

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe Friday, September 10, 2004:
* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances down at his own drink. *

I THOUGHT that it had something of a metallic tang to it...

* The Real Me strides over to Sparky, grabs him by the antennae, and pulls the robot's face out of the punch bowl. *

Hey! That's enough of that! Now, spit it all back into the bowl for the rest of us!

Yeah Sparky, don't puke in the punch bowl, and tell us it's Alphabrt soup!!!!!

-Ratboy

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
I love you, man.

***
"Love is all you need".

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 5:54 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* The Real Me starts feeling OLD again. *......* The Old Me smiles. *

Now it's me who feels old, I watched A-Team when I was a kid. I just don,t remeber it that well, something about a red van and a big black guy with gold trim and.....No, thats about it!

"You got a job? We can do it! Don't much care what it is."

-Ratboy

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:01 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

Yeah Sparky, don't puke in the punch bowl, and tell us it's Alphabrt soup!!!!!

-Ratboy

Come, now, Rat. That's unfair. That quote you selected was from way back during the Forgotten Not a Guy/Girl clubhouse. Why, I had just constructed Sparky. He still had a few bugs in him...

And punch...

And guacomole with chips...

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:06 PM

BRIDE7

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
(*whisper* since they’re not really real!).

I HEARD THAT!!!!

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:16 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Bride7:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
(*whisper* since they’re not really real!).

I HEARD THAT!!!!

*The Real ME shivers.*

First that Riverclone and now THIS!

I'm all manner of creepified!

Uh, I mean... Welcome, Bride7!

Uh, I guess I'll get on with that job interview post that I almost had ready. You may feel free to take your own course, of course.

* The Real Me wanders off, muttering to himself. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:22 PM

(EDITORIAL NOTE: This was written before Bride7 was apparently adopted by a real person, back when the Brides were just minor characters that I was trying to write out of the story.)

* The Real Me stands in front of the SereniTREE. He clears his throat and addresses the sky. *

Cozen? Captain Jack Silver?

* The Real Me turns to face the exit ramp on the SereniTREE. *

Are you ready, ladies?

* Five women walk down the SereniTREE exit ramp and set foot on Rukus. They are of various heights, weights, and ethnicities. Their garb varies considerably, from skimpy Las Vegas showgirl outfits to a well-tailored business suit. The Real Me again faces the sky. *

Cozen and/or Captain Jack Silver, the Brides have expressed an interest in interviewing for positions in your establishment, since I really can’t seem to get them involved in any plot-lines on the SereniTree.

* The Real Me gestures toward the small woman in the business suit, with large glasses and dark hair pulled back in a bun. *

Bride4, here, is quite intelligent, and possesses an advanced business degree. She could be a manager or accountant for you.

* The Real Me gestures toward the woman in a chef’s outfit. *

Bride7 is a fabulous cook.

* The Real Me gestures toward the tallest of the women, dressed in dark trousers and a white shirt.

Bride3 can mix drinks and deal cards.

* The Real Me gestures toward the pair dressed (almost) as showgirls. *

Bride5 and Bride6 are performers, and could entertain your customers.

* Three more women come down the SereniTree ramp. The first is a blonde woman holding a sheathed katana. The second is a strongly-built woman wheeling a dolly. The third is strapped to that dolly, with neck, waist, arms, and legs secured and wearing a face mask Hannibal Lector-style. *

Bride2 is quite athletic and Bride1 is… well, an assassin, I think. They could serve as bouncers.

* The Real Me comes near (but not TOO near) the restrained figure. She pulls against her bonds, trying to reach him. *

And this is the FemaleReaver. Among other things, she is a master of disguise. I figure that she would make a FABULOUS “Mistress of Pain,” if you have an opening for one of those.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:26 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
MontanaGirl, it occurs to me that I never properly thanked you for the wiles-practicing that you did on me so long ago. Please forgive my rudeness for the long delay. If you will allow it, I will express my appreciation now.

I didn't mean to imply that I expected reciprocation. Especially as you are a seasoned professional at this, while I was trying out my wiles for the first time on you. It hardly seems to be a fair balance of minioning. On the other hand, thank you ever so kindly.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
I didn't mean to imply that I expected reciprocation. Especially as you are a seasoned professional at this, while I was trying out my wiles for the first time on you. It hardly seems to be a fair balance of minioning. On the other hand, thank you ever so kindly.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

You are welcome, MontanaGirl.

Don't worry. Whatever you indended, you certainly DESERVED some reciprocation.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 6:46 PM

BRIDE7

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Bride7 was apparently adopted by a real person./b]

i wasnt adopted you wrote me in to existencs and i see u think im a nice cook thancs

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Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:25 PM