CAPTION TIGHTPANTS 23 fnord by TenthCrewMember

Firefly - the show with girls in boxes.

Keep flying

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:09 PM

SOUPCATCHER

Mal: Whoa. Bad cargo.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:52 PM

Desperate for any kind of money, Mal stoops to the mail-order-bride business.

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:01 AM

Saffron: "Is that a laser in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:04 AM

Cap'n's new mail-order, life-like blow-up doll (which looks suspiciously like Saffron) arrives already halfway blown-up.
Mal: "Hmm, now to find out where to put my lips to make the rest of her all articulate. Not that she needs any more articulating."

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:14 AM

Saffron: "The crew didn't have enough time to make a fake cake, so they had me come out of this damn box. Happy Birthday!"

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:20 AM

You know guys, seeing good old Saffron again ......man oh man......just makes me......wellllllllll.......I'll be in my bunk........

This is MY quote!

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:29 AM

DAIKATH

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They should't have opened the cargo for the borderworld S&M club.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:33 AM

KMS

Quote:

In hopes that her next husband was a BIG man, Saffron packed the grande size condoms.

Or

The Captain catches someone in his portable hot tub.

Or

Against the new doctor’s objections, Mal kicks open the portable cryo-chamber.
Simon (OS) shocked: That isn’t my sister!
Jayne: Can I have her?

KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:46 AM

MANTICHORUS

MAL: "...This isn't the engine part I ordered for Kaylee..."

OR

"Curiouser and curiouser..." said Alice -- er, Saffron -- Yolandu -- Bridgette.

--------------------------------------------------
Barret: "I been here since the beginnin', an' I still don't know what the hell's goin' on either."
--------------------------------------------------
"...I'm not a man who likes to swear,
But I've never cared for the sound of bein' alone..." -Neil Diamond, I am... I said.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 12:54 AM

SIMONWHO

Mal instantly regretted that when he ordered the vacuum packed herbs bulk pack, he hadn't ticked the box marked "No Saffron".

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:06 AM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Saffron
Open up the other box already and fetch my legs would ya! You can see I can only do half the River dance without them!!

Mal
Er... River Dance?

www.cirqus.com

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:36 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Though he knew that the evil Saff-In-A-Box was going to pop out at the end of the tune, Mal couldn't quite stop turning the handle.

OR:

Mal (Singing Under His Breath): All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasle. The monkey thought twas all in fun...

Yo-Saff-Bridge: POP! Goes Yolanda!

OR:

Mal: Gorramit Wash! One of the freeze-dried girls got wet in here!

OR:

Mal: You know the protein packs down in the bottom there? You can keep those.

OR:

Mal liked most of his birthday presents, but Wash and Zoe gave Mal the worst pop-up book ever.

OR:

Finding Saffron amongst the hair dye packs, Mal laughingly exclaims :
Mal: I knew you weren't no redhead!

Saffron: You know, you did see me nekkid, tard!

OR:

Saffron: Whew! You might want to air that out a little, husband. Monty was serving mexican last night.

OR:

Christina Hendricks, desperate to be back on the Firefly set, has herself mailed to Universal studios.

OR:

Yo-Saff-Bridge: Hey, Mal? You wanna close that? I was sleeping!

OR:

Saffron: Where have you been? I've been practicing making foil swans for hours!

OR:

Mal: Just let me get something out of this box...BWAH!

OR:

Saffron: Face it hubby, I'm really hot.

Mal: (Covering his nose) And you smell like it too! How long did I leave you in that box?

There's a few to start with...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 1:40 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

Saffron: Didn't the mayor tell you? Part of your payment is the food, and part of it is me. I'm your wife.
Mal: ... Saffron, are you telling me you've pulled this scam so many times you can't even remember the guys you pulled it on?
Saffron: Damn, I knew you looked familiar.

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:23 AM

KMS

Quote:

Saffron: Nobody expects the Inquisition!

KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:45 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE

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A Kill Bill 2 / Firefly crossover:

YO-SAFF-BRIDGE: "How did you find me?"
MAL: "I'm the man."

Or:

WORST GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK...EVER!

Or:

An Ocean's Eleven /Firefly crossover:

YO-SAFF-BRIDGE: "Where the f*** you been?!"

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 2:59 AM

STARPILOTGRAINGER

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[/IMG]

Sadly, Nathan had to inform Christina that the role of "girl in a box" was already taken.

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."
LJ: http://www.livejournal.com/users/newnumber6 (real)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/alternaljournal (fictional, travelling through another world)
Unreachable Star: http://www.unreachablestar.net - Comics & SF News/Reviews/Opinions

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:08 AM

THEDUKE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewmember:
[IMG] [/IMG]

MacDonalds advertising of it's new happy emal menu goes wrong when the free toy list is not assessed thoroughly enough

All of a sudden, tonnes of bratty kids scream;
"What's in the box that always rocks?"

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 3:58 AM

VOLSTOCK

Mal: Jayne?! Come over here and bring Vera.

Jayne (OS): Why you finally ready for a trade?

Mal: No, I just don't trust my Cracker Jack Prize.

______________________________________________________

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:13 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

[IMG] [/IMG]

Some more? Okay:

Hasbro's new "Bitch In A Box" debuts today. Scores of unsuspecting men cry later :"Where's my wallet?"

OR:

The spice "rack" Mal ordered took him by surprise. He wasn't expecting Saffron.

OR:

Saffron: Mal, would you mind shaving?

Mal: Just shut up and get back in your "room".

OR:

After hitting the wrong pop-up ad after a night of Cortex-Surfing, Mal found that he had accidentally ordered a "Box-O-Con"

OR:

Mal: Actually, Saffron, the toliet's thattaway.

OR:

Mal: (After opening box) Is it Christmas?

OR:

Saffron: Mal, could you help me out, there appears to be a young girl already in this box.

OR:

Saffron, unable to kick her mean TV Dinner addiction, is unable to hide her habit any longer.

OR:

Mal: When you and Inara were discussing "boxes", I don't think that's what she had in mind.

(Oh, I'm going to hell for that last one.)

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:23 AM

Mal: Gorramit Wash, I told you NOT to pull over!

Or

Mal: Whoa, good plan.

or

Mal: Hey Jayne, wanna make that trade now, she even comes with her own stow and go!

Or

Yo~Saf~Brig: You know, it was really hot in there. Do I smell?

OR

River (off screen): My reveal was better.

OR

River (off screen): Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt.

OR

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!

OR

Jayne (off screen): Now Monty's give'n you girls?
Yo~Saf~Brig: That seem right to you?

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by KMS:
Quote:

Saffron: Nobody expects the Inquisition!

KMS!
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’ ----Gizzie

Funny but you should has said:

Saf: Nobody expects a girl in a box!

Mal: Actually...

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:38 AM

One more:

Comic Book Guy (off screen): Worst reuse of a gag EVER!

Joss (off screen): Hey! Who let the animated fat guy in?

*Edit to change Box to Book

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 4:44 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by Wiccanslyr:

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!

HA! That is soooo funny.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 5:42 AM

MANWITHPEZ

Important people don't do field work.

Quote:

Wow, crudity abounds! Some more? Okay:

Mal: Apparently, I can hide two siblings, scores of stolen Alliance cargo, and a herd of cattle aboard this boat, but I can't hide my Kit-Kats well enough.

Saffron: Aw Mal, gimme a break!

OR:

Mal: No, I do not want to see your "I'm a Little Teapot" routine!

OR:

Protein Pack Smothered Saffron: Its What's For Dinner.

OR:

Mal: You big baby! Oh wait, that's Inara's line, and it comes later in this episode, doesn't it?

OR:

When Jayne was in his bunk dreaming about a protein covered Saffron, this wasn't what he had in mind.

OR:

The Serenity Spaceship Players tried to mount a production of "Arsenic and Old Lace" but Saffron couldn't perform the part of "Mr. Spinallzo". She had a condition.

OR:

Mal: Not so articulate with your clothes on, stuffed in a box for a few hours, are ya?

OR:

Mal: (To the rest of the crew) You guys should try this, she doesn't seem to be learning! (Waits for Saffron to raise her head a little more and slams lid down)

Saffron: OW!

Zoe: I want a turn, sir!

OR:

With the mounting costs of space funerals on the rise, Malcolm Reynolds invests in smallers coffins...Also, he doesn't wait for his bride to be dead yet.

OR:

Mal: Like I told you, someone tries to stuff you in a box, you try to stuff 'em right back.

OR:

Worst Jewelry/Musicbox Ever!

OR:

Even though Mal was mad at her, Saffron knew she could win him over with her orangutang impression.

OR:

Saffron: I once caught a fish THIS tall!

Mal: Its "this big", not tall...you know what, just stay in there.

OR:

Mal: When I asked you if you wanted to play in the "Reynolds Wrap", that's not what I meant.

OR:

Mal couldn't help laughing at Saffron until she prepared the deadly and powerful "Kamehameha Wave".

Yep...crude, crude crude, plus, a Dragonball Z reference!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:07 AM

EST120

Quote:
Originally posted by StarPilotGrainger:
Saffron: Didn't the mayor tell you? Part of your payment is the food, and part of it is me. I'm your wife.
Mal: ... Saffron, are you telling me you've pulled this scam so many times you can't even remember the guys you pulled it on?
Saffron: Damn, I knew you looked familiar.

Star Pilot Grainger
"Remember, the enemy's gate is down."

ha ha. this one is pretty funny.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:16 AM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by manwithpez:
Quote:

Mal: (To the rest of the crew) You guys should try this, she doesn't seem to be learning! (Waits for Saffron to raise her head a little more and slams lid down)

Saffron: OW!

Zoe: I want a turn, sir!

He ehehheheeheeee

I just laughed until tea came out my nose! My colleague in the room next door just bounded in to say "drafting contracts shouldn't be that funny!" I am so rumbled!

**************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:30 AM

[/IMG]

Saffron: "I'd heard that these Japanese hotels were compact, but THIS is ridiculous!"
Cap'n: "Don't worry 'bout it honey, just turn around and move over a little bit...."

Everyone dies alone.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 8:34 AM

RYCE

Jayne (OS): Mal! You have a package!
Saffron: I'll say he does.

or

Mal: Ohhh, when you said 'avail yourself of my trade', you meant trading cards! Wait right there, I'll get my pen and peanuts!

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:11 AM

KESSIE

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Nathan: And here I thought Joss` "how to store recurring actors more cheaply thing" was only a rumor!!

They say it’s the last song
They don’t know us, you see
Its only the last song
If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 9:37 AM

ODDNESS2HER

MAL: 'Night, sweetie. (Shuts box)

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 10:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by Wiccanslyr:

Summer (off screen to Joss): Hey! You said girls in boxes had to be naked!

HA! That is soooo funny.

Yeah, I concur. *L* Poor Summer.

*secretly wishes they had shown more*

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 10:56 AM

Nathan: Ok, at this point I think Joss has some kind of box fetish

Joss (from back of room): I heard that! I can kill your character you know!

OR

Protein pack ad : And for a limited time, buy the deluxe protein package, and get a bride ABSOLUTELY FREE! Call now, operators are standing by.

OR

Joss: I told you! Girls in boxes have to be naked!

Christina: Oh come on, isn't one nude scene enough?

OR

Mal: JAAAYNE!! I thought I told you, no mail-order brides!

Jayne: Aw c'mon Mal, I had to trade in Vera to afford this one!

OR

Mal: Ok, at this point I'm just gonna stop opening mysterious boxes. Zoe, we're going to get our mail now, right?

(he never learns, does he?)

Keep flying

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:06 AM

ZOL

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

Mal "Jayne! your blowup Safron doll has inflated again"

Jayne "Gorram it Mal, Just because I took your Blowup Inara Doll, Don`t mean you have to mess with my stuff - I was in my Bunk"

Darin (Zol.)

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005 11:14 AM