Raid on Black Diamond by Malicious

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Raid on Black Diamond

POSTED BY: MALICIOUS
UPDATED: Monday, April 18, 2005 09:41
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VIEWED: 11876
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Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:05 PM

*Staring at the other ladies licking cake off the little guy, icing spattered Needleseye wonders if she can just step on this troublesome little fellow and be done with it. Pulls back blanket sarong and looks down at her boot*

*looks at Cozen*

*looks at TheRealMe*

*thinks how TheRealMe was miffed about Bride1*

*sighs*

RealMe, is there ever a peaceful moment with this bunch? I need to go find one.

-----

*Wandering through SereniTree, Needleseye finds some empty quarters to crash in, and is relieved to find a shower.*

Time for break

*Drops all raiments, but tugs for a good time at the knee-high boots as they're a little tough to get off. One flies across the room as she flings it from her foot. thump
With an opalescent scaley flash she hops in the shower and turns on the water*
WATER!
*begins plucking bits of cake from the ends of her hair and curls herself up at the bottom of the shower as her lower half grows long flowy tentrils. She thinks she hears some alert sounding on the SereniTree but tunes it out. She sings lightly*

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)
"You only live a day, but it's brilliant anyway" ~ Elliot Smith

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:05 PM

THEREALME

Mister Static! Mister Grey! To your stations, if you please. Computer! Secure all outer hatches and make ready for immediate departure.

Acknowledged.

* The Real Me looks out the window at the stark landscape and the horrible deaths of the inhabitants of this place. The Real Me is overcome with emotion. *

Oh, the humanities!

Uh, the Yeti-ities, I mean. And those poor Windmill Giants!

* The Real Me spins to face Cozen. *

THIS planetary destruction should NOT count against us, you know!

* The Real Me dashes off to the navigation station on the bridge to plot a safe course away from the planet of Black Diamond. He finishes and puts it on Static's HUD. *

* Bride5 comes running, face beaming. *

It's COZEN!

* Bride5 embraces Cozen and becomes all gooey and chocolately (BTW, there were vanilla layers to the cake, as well). *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:14 PM

RAT

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, the humanities!

Uh, the Yeti-ities, I mean. And those poor Windmill Giants!

What are you waiting for man, portal them up already!!!!!

-Ratboy

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:21 PM

COZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

Oh, no!!

-Ratboy

For the first time since he plummetted onto one of the the precursors of this thread, cozen oddly finds hisself in agreement with a Ratboy reaction.

Strange Days, indeed.

Still, one must keep one's head, eh?

*Prays to all and sundry Powers-That-Be that Mal-l and MG notice the scrumptious layers of chocolate-cheesecakey M&Ms piled atop his knees.*

*Meanwhile, unnoticed by our gallant revellers, several Yeti breeding pairs occupy the boiler room/beer den formerly inhabitted by zoid.*

*cozen randomly wonders if we're all gonna be treated to pix of Ebonezer in full prom gear.*

***
None of this is likely.

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:40 PM

THEREALME

* The Real Me has run out of the bridge and back to the Common Room. *

Static, the Sereni-Tree all yours. I have a course pre-plotted for you, or you can use your imagination. But let's get off this rock! Let's go!

Unless you want ME to try to pilot her, again!

Grey? Are those engines purring yet?

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, the humanities!

Uh, the Yeti-ities, I mean. And those poor Windmill Giants!

What are you waiting for man, portal them up already!!!!!

-Ratboy

*The Real Me turns to Rat, exasperated. *

Rat! I'd like to save them, too, but it's not possible! There are too many of them! They are too big! Why, how many of those giants could we squeeze in the Common Room? Or the Cargo Bay? Just a few! There is simply not enough space! Not enough space!

* Rat glares at The Real Me. They both know that The Real Me is wrong. *

I can't even make dimensional portals big enough for a windmill giant to walk through.

* The Real Me gazes out of the window, watching the terrible deaths of the creatures of Black Diamond. He scratches his beard, and frowns. *

Okay, I'll do it! But I'll need your help!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 8:56 PM

NEEDLESEYE

*After dozing off in the pleasant falling water, Needleseye rolls out of shower* thunk

huh? peaceful moment over I suppose

*limbs now more human-like, she throws on her knee high boots and slips back into her favorite shimmery dress she gathered before finding her quarters.*

* Before heading back to the now "Cozen cake party" she wanders by engineering, peeks in at GreyJedi. He is extremely busy, but thankfully not using blood to keep the ship functioning.*

Hey Grey, nice job on that Female Reaver.

*Needleseye's mind wanders back to a previous bloody interlude in engineering*

*Jet/Bride4 looks at her over a control panel she's working on*
Uh, Needleseye, hello. Hello?

*Needleseye blinks*
Oh...Jet, Hi. Just stopping by to see if things were under control. I need to catch up on my manual reading, but in the meantime, looks like you can take care of... whatever.
Guess I need to finish, er, start reading that engineering manual. I've been too busy, what with Yeti and crazy Brides... Oh, no offense.

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)
"You only live a day, but it's brilliant anyway" ~ Elliot Smith

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 9:39 PM

THEREALME

No offense taken! Bride1 was a nutcase on her best days!

* Bride2 smiles, having just opened the door to Main Engineering. Bride2 is dressed in a bikini with a towel hanging around her neck. She seems strong and athletic, but is not exceptionally tall. Bride2 glances at Bride4, still working on the control panel. *

I just got released from the Infirmary by the Doc. I wanted to see if Jet was free, but it looks like…

* From his command chair, TheGreyJedi gives Bride2 a look that does not encourage her to continue with that thought. Bride2 turns to Needleseye, speaking more softly. *

Well, I was going to see if she wanted to go for a swim, but I guess she’s busy. Would YOU like to see our water park? It’s great!

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:01 PM

THEREALME

* The Real Me has gathered most of the crew of the Sereni-Tree in the Common Room. *

Okay, we are going to try to save as many Windmill Giants and Yeti as possible. I will need your help!

Jet, you’ve seen the schematics for Rat’s shrinking anklet. How long to manufacture… oh, 20,000 of them?

* Bride4 blinks at the large number, but quickly drops to the deck and heaves open the large Sereni-Tree Technical Manual. She flips pages about, studying first one page, then another, but she quickly looks up from the floor. *

Bride4: With our current fabrication facilities? Weeks… Uh, perhaps three weeks. But I’ve seen ways to tighten the design and streamline the manufacturing process considerably!

And?

Bride4: One week, at the quickest. Sorry.

Hmmm… Too slow. Okay, we’ll have to do this the dangerous way, then.

Rat, you and Windell, here, take the General Lee and head down to the Plain of Windmill Giants. That’s where the largest concentration of those beings are located on this planet. Get them to crowd together. Use Windell to help communicate with them or convince them. Or use your TMBG music. Whatever it takes. And take that anklet off of Windell when you get a chance. Then wait for my dimensional portal to appear and shove them through.

Rat: But you said that you couldn’t make a portal big enough for a giant!

I can’t, but TRUST me. Go!

Mai, you take the General Grant down to the ski resort. See if you can collect the inmates… uh workers in the hotel. And any other customers. Shove them through my dimensional portal when it appears.

ThatWeirdGirl, you know the Yeti better than any of us. You take the Admiral Nelson to the army of 64,000 Yeti that have not quite disbanded yet. Collect them. Wait for my portal. Shove them through.

When you have saved as many as you can, return in your shuttles!

Jet, you pull a jet pack from storage for me. Get it fully fueled and ready to go. Meet me outside my quarters. Take the Ebo Golem, if you like, to carry it for you. I’ll need it in five minutes!

SimonWho, MontanaGirl, we will probably have a LOT of patients for you soon in need of medical attention. Come to the West Wing with as many supplies as possible.

Mal-licious? We might need your commanding personality to calm these beings down and organize things. Ebo, you can communicate with any creature. That could come in handy, too. Come to the West Wing when you can.

Jake7? Blankets. Water. Food. I’m not sure what else. Refugee stuff. Get SoulofSerenity, Ath, ImEarly, some of the Brides, and whoever else to help you.

NeedlesEye… Where is NeedlesEye? Oh well.

Ready? Let’s go!

* The Real Me starts running for his quarters in the West Wing, somewhat upset that he will soon have to break a most solemn vow. Oh, well. It was for a good cause, wasn’t it? *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:04 PM

THEREALME

* The Real Me enters his quarters alone, out of breath from running. He locks the door behind him. He moves over to a certain spot in one wall, and presses a hidden stud. Then he goes to the OPPOSITE wall, in a different place, and presses another. Then he goes to his bed, stands on the headboard, and reaches as high as he can. The wall panel comes loose in his hands, and he tosses it behind him. Once hidden by the panel is a briefcase. The Real Me pulls the briefcase free from its hiding place, jumps down on his bed, and bounces over to land on the floor. *

Something VERY BAD is about to happen.

* The Real Me leaves his quarters, to find Bride4 standing there with the Ebo Golem and a jet pack. *

Quick work!

*Bride4 helps The Real Me get into the jet pack, and he checks the readouts. Optimal operation. Good. *

* The Real Me moves to some nearby unoccupied quarters and closes the door behind him, still wearing the jet pack and carrying the briefcase. He breathes deeply several times, then waves his free hand. The bed, dresser, kitchenette, and table and chairs seem to recede into the distance as The Real Me folds space. *

Okay, so far so good.

* The Real Me folds space again, and the furnishings in the room get farther away. He repeats the process until he cannot make out the individual items along the walls. Since each folding of space doubles the previous volume, it is not very long before the modest apartment has become a truly cavernous space. The Real Me pauses, and holds his breath, but things seem to be holding fine. *

Computer! Give status on the Sereni-Tree’s shuttles!

*From far in the distance, the speaker on a wall might be mumbling something. Cursing, The Real Me pulls his com-link. *

Computer! Give status on the Sereni-Tree’s shuttles!

The General Lee, the General Grant, and the Admiral Nelson are not on the ship.

Dammit, I mean…

* The Real Me calms himself. *

Have the shuttles landed on Black Diamond?

The General Lee has landed in…

Compose list! Binary response!

*Bloody Computers! *

General Lee: yes. General Grant: yes. Admiral Nelson: yes.

Well, then!

* The Real Me reaches out to open a dimensional portal to Mai. From that hole in reality start stumbling the dazed staff and customers of the resort hotel. *

* The Real Me activates his jet pack and flies for a few minutes in a random direction. He lands, and opens a portal to ThatWeirdGirl. Yeti come dancing through sideways, kicking high, having been formed into a chorus line. *

* The Real Me flies off again, at right angles to his previous course. After a few more minutes, he lands and turns off the jet pack. He kneels, then unlocks and opens the briefcase. With one hand, The Real Me reaches in and picks up the portable flamer. With the other, he picks up the most dangerous object ever encountered by the crew of the Sereni-Tree. *

* The Real Me puts the oddly shaped hunk of wood on the deck and stands on it. He is sweating profusely. After all, this was exactly how the FemaleReaver came into existence on one of the Threads Dedicated Strictly to Mal-licious. The Real Me clears his throat and speaks, very precisely: *

I wish that the creatures that we call the Windmill Giants who are located on the planet that we call Black Diamond all be reduced in size proportionately to a height of… nine feet, while still remaining alive and healthy.

* The Real Me carefully steps down from the magical wish-granting plank, picks it back up, sticks it back in the briefcase, slams it shut, and locks it. *

Whew! All those years gamemastering and playing in role-playing games have finally come in handy!

* The Real Me picks up the briefcase. He waves the hand holding the flamer and a third dimensional portal opens. Nine-foot tall Windmill Giants begin coming through. *

* In the far distance, the Real Me can barely make out some movement. He flies his jet pack in that direction. After several minutes, he lands, to find Needleseye at the open door, looking in, gaping at the vast expanse. *

Oh, I’m so sorry, Needleseye! Was this YOUR room?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:13 PM

THEGREYJEDI

*piloting Aegis, he lands Aegis in the hangar bay, and hits the remote ignition sequence. the engines hum to life warming up for lift off. the repulsor wings shove against the air inside the hangar, filling with a deafening, if harmonic, hum as Aegis us propelled back out to keep an eye out for any stragglers*

(Aegis can carry two people in each hand, safely at least. the forearms have emergency life support for temporary shelter from the vacuum of cold space for those two per hand. There's also space for a small and/or slim, preferably flexible [it'll be kinda cramped in there] female in the cockpit behind Grey. Discuss amongst yourselves.)

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:47 PM

NEEDLESEYE

Quote:
Oh, I’m so sorry, Needleseye! Was this YOUR room?

*jaw agape*

Uh, I just got back from engineering and...
Bride2 invited me to a water park, and since I'd already soaked for a bit, thought I'd pass if you can believe it. *thinks- Bride2 had a sly eye*

I decided to come back here to retreat and you are here with dancing Yeti, wishing for smaller Windmill Giants and making my room enormous!
*The room is quickly filling up with Windmill Giants*

There sure are a lot of 'em. This wasn't your idea, was it RealMe. *thinks- definitely Rat's idea*

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)
"You only live a day, but it's brilliant anyway" ~ Elliot Smith

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Sunday, April 17, 2005 11:02 PM

SIMONWHO

Well, it's the end of the world. Again.

*pulls out mysterious small box*

Right, beepity, beepity-beep.

*the blue box reappears right in front of SimonWho*

Remote control, very useful but only works when there's no-one inside. Now then, I happen to have a couple of spare rooms to hold the ants if we need to pick them up, however many billion there are. But I can't see those windmill creatures making it through the doorway.

MontanaGirl are we all set for the first lot of inevitable victims? I'll bet you a fiver that TheRealMe will end up one of them.

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Monday, April 18, 2005 3:29 AM

STATIC

**Static vaults up the metal stairs to the cockpit of SereniTREE, grumbling and cursing the whole way, stripping off his gunbelts and tossing them blindly as he enters his favorite room of the ship (besides the bunk he shares with TWG). The same superpower that makes it possible to hit whatever he aims at causes the gunbelts to land perfectly arranged on the appropriate hooks.

Static hops over the back of the control chair and begins flipping switches, beginning the 'power up' sequence. SereniTREE's engines begin to whine in protest at being pushed all the way to full power at first, but then settle into the familiar rumble.**

Okay, folks. . .gimme a shout when we have everyone present! I'm ready to get this beast out of the world!

==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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Monday, April 18, 2005 4:51 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*grumbling to herself as she watches the Yetii shuffle-ball-change* I don’t know why we’re doing this. I want to save people/creatures too, but there’s no way we can continue to take on passengers at every stop. Next place we go, I’m insisting we leave a few folks behind. Geesh.

*twg makes sure all the yetii have safely passed thru the portal. She maneuvers the Admiral Nelson back toward the ship…and has a smashing time of it. She loop-de-loops and rolls and generally has fun flitting about.*

This is fun. Maybe…

*twg sees the other shuttles docking with the SereniTree. She flies by, tilting her wings as she passes near the cockpit. She clicks on her comm*

Do I have to come back right now? This is the first time anyone ever let me fly and I’m having a lot of fun out here. Can I just sorta fly next to you for a while? Are the engines of the Admiral Nelson capable of keeping up with the SereniTree? Think about it, talk with Grey, the captain, whomever…I’ll wait for your decision.

*twg settles into her seat and finally understands why, even with the massive Andromeda, Rebecca refuses to let go of the Maru. She decides the Admiral is hers now, no one else will get to fly it…all hers. She lovingly strokes the console.*

Precious.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Monday, April 18, 2005 9:41 AM

MALICIOUS

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Now then, I happen to have a couple of spare rooms to hold the ants if we need to pick them up, however many billion there are...

No. No saving ants. OR SPIDERS. Got that?

ETA: SEE NEW THREAD:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9531

Mal-licious

I think I will add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.

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