Sereni-Tree IV: The Voyage Home by Rat

The Man They Call Soul...

*Soul phases back through the hull and onto the Bridge. After pulling himself completely back onto this plane of existance, he quickly dresses and re-arms himself with his bow, quiver, and arrowheads. He quickly makes his way over to the closest console and tries to recall Grey's message, to see if there's some hint in there as to how Grey plans to return to our universe. To his suprise, though, he finds himself locked out of the computer.*

Who locked me out? *he asks the computer.*

Rat did, *comes the reply.*

* Rat?!? *

Who in their right mind authorized that?

*The computer hums for a moment. Then four lines scroll across the screen.*

Authorized by:

First Officer

Chief Engineer

Security Chief

*Soul stares at the screen, his eyes wide.*

But I'm the Security Chief!

*He turns on the ship-wide intercom.*

Um...Captain Ebo, you might want to come to the Bridge. We might have a problem...

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 5:04 AM

*Ath takes Mai's advice and sets himself up in a room in the North (or is it East?) wing. Heads back to the common room to play a little Whack-a-Fox, grabbing a scone on the way.*

"Umm..Captain Ebo, you might wanna come to the Bridge. We have a problem..."

Why do I feel a sudden, inexplicable sense of doom?

Maybe its just the scone. How long have these been in that fridge, anyway?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 6:17 AM

JAKE7

Even though I won't be in NC for the opening, I'd love a T-shirt to wear in September!
*********************

*Jake7 grabs a scone to help anchor her. She's also quite nervous about TRM's vacation and the apparent second mutiny by Rat and his new clone.*

I'm with Ath!

Ebo? Think you can do something about this?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:03 AM

Oh no, not again.

Right, well, best get this sorted. Excuse me a second, I'll be in the main computer room. I won't be long.

*picks up randomly abandoned sledgehammer*

*whistles as he walks*

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:25 AM

*From the bridge Rat closes and locks all fire doors(including those that lead to the bridge and those that lead to the main computer room).

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer, Acting First Officer & Acting Security Chief - USS SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:34 AM

*doors locks in front of him*

Hmm.

*produces a thin silver device which glows blue at the end*

*waves it in front of door lock*

*the door swooshes open*

Another miracle of modern science. Or rather what will be modern in a few thousand years. Now then... I think I will start by reprogramming this computer here.

*lifts sledgehammer over head and reprogrammes in one mighty blow*

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:05 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Is somebody boiling roadkill?

OH!! Dinner!

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:09 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
*lifts sledgehammer over head and reprogrammes in one mighty blow*

*Life support fails.*

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer, Acting First Officer & Acting Security Chief - USS SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:22 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*twg spins around to face Needleseye and Jet*

Okay, I think I figured out how to NOT blow us to smithereens. When we jump the grav drive loop, we will reroute the surge power to the bridge main deflectors. This should allow us to control the point singularity I hope to create.

I hope I’ve read the data correctly from the computers…I can’t double check because I’m now locked out of said computer. All that’s left is for me to do is eat my scone and crawl up the access tube outside the bridge to secure this spanner coil.

*twg finishes off her scone and licks her fingers.*

Oh…there is one risk, anyone currently on the bridge, thank goodness the pilot went to the kitchen for scones, may be sucked into the point singularity.

*twg whistles as she begins her climb up the ladder access*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 9:34 AM

*quickly produces micro-unit out of pocket*

Right, that should give us another 24 hours of life support. Plenty of time.

What's that twg? You're going to what with the what to do what now? While Rat is trapped on the bridge with all the doors secured?

Rat, I'm afraid that I've accidentally destroyed the door opening mechanisms while I was down here (memo to engineering staff - label your cables!) so you won't be able to get out. Unless... wait a minute.

Hold on Rat, I've got an idea, so fantastically cunning that a team of weasels would be in awe of its cunningness. But I need you to re-open access to the main computers to carry it out. It's that or be reduced to a singularity.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 10:08 AM

The Man They Call Soul...

*Soul, still recovering from the shock of realizing that he somehow participated in authorizing Rat to lockout the computers, realises that he's still standing on the Bridge. He looks over to where Rat is pounding away at a computer monitor, completley oblious to Soul's presence on the Bridge. Soul opens his mouth to say something, but a message from TWG flashes up on the screen in front of him, saying something about a singularity and everyone on the Bridge being sucked in.*

Um...Rat, we might want to get out of here!

*Rat ignores him, so Soul shrugs and walks over to the door, which is, of course, sealed shut. Soul swallows loudly. He has no desire to be sucked into a singularity.*

Rat, I think we have a problem. I can get us out of here, but we have to go now!

*Rat ignores him again. Soul shrugs. He tried. Soul turns back to the door, concentrates a bit more than usual, and walks through the door, this time remembering to phase his clothes and bow through as well.*

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 10:43 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by needleseye:
Montana Girl, I think the scones have something to do with affecting our density.

Ack!

*spits out remainder of scone*

YOU BASTARDS! GIVE ME BACK MY DENSITY!!

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I hope I’ve read the data correctly from the computers…I can’t double check because I’m now locked out of said computer. All that’s left is for me to do is eat my scone and crawl up the access tube outside the bridge to secure this spanner coil.

Is that like the matter-antimatter chamber, Scotty?

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:06 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CALLMEATH:
YOU BASTARDS! GIVE ME BACK MY DENSITY!!

Dude, chill. It's not like they took your DESTINY. (Eh, eh? Good "Back to the Future" reference, huh?)

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:24 PM

Computer, activate ship wide singularity blocker!

*Pulls out accordion and starts playing Particle Man!*

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer, Acting First Officer & Acting Security Chief - USS SereniTREE.

-Ratboy

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:29 PM

Er, you can't block a singularity. That's kind of the point. In fact, this would be a very, very, very good time to leave the bridge unless you don't want to come to a point roughly 1cm in diameter.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:33 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*twg finishes installing the spanner coil in the access panel outside the bridge*

Finally!

*mumbling to herself as she returns to engineering*

If I've done everything right, we should be able to initiate a stationery jump tomorrow morning after the scones have sufficiently secured everyone in this dimension. As soon as I get to engineering we will need to start the grav drive so it can properly build strength for the loop.

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Computer, activate ship wide singularity blocker!

*twg arrives in engineering*

Hey gals! Are you ready to start?

Oh, bad news Rat, you can't "block" a singularity. I suggest you leave the bridge asap...by midnight, the stresses will be too great for a mere human to withstand.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 1:46 PM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

Oh, bad news Rat, you can't "block" a singularity. I suggest you leave the bridge asap...by midnight, the stresses will be too great for a mere human to withstand.

You know what? I've been sitting here working feverishly on a plan to get Rat out of the bridge and stop this silly mutiniy buisness (again).

But suddenly, it doesn't seem so important...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 2:06 PM

*Rat steps out of closet in main engineering.*

Huh, I guess I did get RealMe's ability to portal about, I just need to larn how to aim!!

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer, Acting First Officer & Acting Security Chief - USS SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 2:41 PM

COZEN

I'm less concerned about the likelihood of the atoms constituting "me" getting squished up into a really very tiny space, as I am about what I'll become when they re-form in whatever dimension hosts our arrival.

For now, I'll just amble on down to the boiler room, see if I can't borrow some of zoid's beer.

***
http://www.fireflyfans.net/replymsg.asp?b=blackholeserenitree....

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 6:11 PM

NEEDLESEYE

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
If I've done everything right, we should be able to initiate a stationery jump tomorrow morning after the scones have sufficiently secured everyone in this dimension. As soon as I get to engineering we will need to start the grav drive so it can properly build strength for the loop.
Hey gals! Are you ready to start?

*Needleseye smiles* Affirmative TWG. Grav drive on line,and we have computer access now, thankfully Jet's an excellent hack.
*Jet rolls her eyes as Rat comes out of the closet in engineering.* Hey! Rat's ... out of the closet.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005 7:58 PM

THEGREYJEDI

*a few beeps sound in engineering, a holgraphic TGJ cuts on*

Please state the nature of the Engineering Emergenc...oh bloody hell. I smell a Rat. Computer, load a DNA block for Rat, he's not allowed in. He messes stuff up.

*computer beeps*

No wonder I...he...curse this self-aware programming...nevermind.

*turns to the Lovely Ladies of the Engineering Bay*

Ah, um...I'm not sure where I...he...is, but the Rat-tampering seems to have triggered my activation. Let's see...wow. He did something right foolish, he did. Hmm...processing... Ah! No worries, ladies. The signal he sent (can't stop the signal) is genuine. Good to see Aegis woke up, finally. Oh!

*a DRD skitters by*

Jeezy. We didn't make those...weird. Right. Anyway. I traced back the signal. It's going to be easier for him to get back than it is for you to go to him. And safer for us all, really. This image is making you uncomfortable, sorry.

*phases into an image of the EMH, only with gold instead of blue.* There. This should work a little better. EEH, Emergency Engineering Hologram, at your service. Now, to work on the building mass in the bridge area...

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 3:04 AM

Quick question. If you can't block a singularity, than how does the "ship-wide singularity blocker" work?

Just curious.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 5:02 AM

COZEN

*cozen struggles across the common room rolling a keg of heavy British beer.*

*Experiences a out-of-body, phase-shifty moment. The moment passes.*

*Runs a hand across his face.*

Huh. Two eyes, couple ears, a nose, teeth all there. Guess I'm just hungry, or hung over.

*Flexes wings.*

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ldnemeth/images/blackjacksilver.GIF

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 5:37 AM

JET

Quote:
Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
a holgraphic TGJ cuts on..

*The girls all in amazement, Jet says* Wow! *She looks over and at where Needleseye was*
thud
*and then down at the floor*
Hwai! NeedlesEye fainted! *Jet fans NeedlesEye with a clipboard*

Emergency Holo, can Aegis tell us if Grey is alright?
I've been studying up on those blood sacrifice activated systems. I sure hope he was more careful this time. :/

*shaking NeedlesEye and brushing flowers off*
Can you get up already? It's my turn to faint!

__________________
This tank. It isn't operational.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 6:05 AM

JAKE7

*jake7 whispers to SimonWho so only he can hear*

Psst. Simon! How about we take a page from Firefly and dope up Rat?

It might be kinda fun to watch him go crazy and then just fall over!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 6:12 AM

But wouldn't that be in violation of my medical oath? Funny to watch but probably in violation of my medical oath.

Wait, I was sick the day they made us take the oaths. I'm in!

Oh, Rat, I've got a freshly baked scone for you... come and get it...

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 7:57 AM

*Sniffs scone, and discards.*

Well, I've tried to take over the ship using force,..and failed!
And I've tried to take over the ship using brains,..and failed!
So, there is only one thing left to ask,..can this crew be bought?
It may have come to your attention, that we're out of ice cream from the purple dimension. It may also have come to your attention, that with TheRealMe gone, I've(temporarily) gained his ability to portal about.
My offer is simple, ice cream for power! I can sweeten the deal with pepsimilk if need be! Think it over and let me know!

Oh, and it looks like Soul is back, I didn't even hear him come in. Computer, reinstate SoulOfSerenitree as security chief!

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 8:18 AM

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Oh, and it looks like Soul is back, I didn't even hear him come in. Computer, reinstate SoulOfSerenitree as security chief!

Well, thank you, Rat. Now all we need to do is get back Grey and TRM. Rat and power apparently do not mix well.

Oh well, I'm off to my office (which I did not know about until TRM's very helpful guide). If Rat causes any more mischief, let me know. Apparently, I have a brig as well...

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 8:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfSerenity:
If Rat causes any more mischief, let me know. Apparently, I have a brig as well...

But...What...Hey, I was nice to you.

Ratboy Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 8:45 AM

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfSerenity:
If Rat causes any more mischief, let me know. Apparently, I have a brig as well...

But...What...Hey, I was nice to you.

You know what Rat, you were. So let's try something:

I know, this is a horrible idea, but Rat does need something to occupy him.

Rat: Security Officer, reports directly to the Security Chief (me).

Let the horror begin!

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 9:27 AM

Well that could work, but sense I'm still Acting First Officer, I'm smelling major conflict of interest coming off this plan. The chain of command doesn't work, if it's tied in a knot! Instead, I think the First Officer(namely me) will create a new, more permanent post.....Acquisitions Officer!!!
First job, more SPAM for the starving yeti.

"Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. "

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 9:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
So, there is only one thing left to ask,..can this crew be bought?

How about cash??

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 10:00 AM

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Well that could work, but sense I'm still Acting First Officer, I'm smelling major conflict of interest coming off this plan. The chain of command doesn't work, if it's tied in a knot! Instead, I think the First Officer(namely me) will create a new, more permanent post.....Acquisitions Officer!!!
First job, more SPAM for the starving yeti.

"Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. "

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

You know, I think Ratboy had himself a brilliant idea! You do seem have a knack for "acquiring" things, don't you?

According to TRM, I have 2 Zoe-Clone's ready for Security duty, so I think I'll be good.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 11:24 AM

Oh the horror, the horror.

Words that don't tie together well. Military and intelligence. Impartial and media. Rat and power.

Anyone feel a lot less secure since Rat is now our man (animal?) for security?

I guess we should give him a chance, see if we get invaded by aliens at any point over the next 30 posts or so.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 12:59 PM

Okay, I located the SPAM in sufficient quantities, we'll have to dock with a Pakled freighter...You know, it's amazing all they wanted for all that SPAM, was three liters of SimonWho's zero-G "Abyss" goo, two of BJS's tail feathers, Ebo's eight ball, My "get out of jail free" card & Bride6.

"Everything is for sale, even friendship."

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 1:02 PM

THEGREYJEDI

Hmm. If the initial message is to be believed, and I don't think Aegis is capable of lying, they are both, within reason, well. As for the blood sacrifice for the grav drives, this was designed on purpose. Purpose One: As a Tech-Priest, there is as much "magic" as there is "science" involved in the design and construction. In order to break the laws of nature, a certain price must be paid, ie. his *cough* virgin blood. Purpose the Second: Absolute Fail Safe. There is retinal, voice, code, and DNA scans for the science identification. The blood scan also scans intent, the spiritual side. So even if someone took his eyes, recorded his voice, stole the code, and splattered the console with his blood, the drive itself would recognize the deceit and immediately lock down. Ingenious, really.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 3:13 PM

Grey,

Can you install that in my home security system? When you come back to the ship, that is.

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 5:25 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
How about cash??

Name your price,...so I can talk you down!

"Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 5:51 PM

JET

Fascinating.
I'm not sure about this "reasonably well" part. So we have to assume there's life support and Grey was breathing at the time of the message? Thanks EEH, I guess we'll have to settle for that for the moment.
Right now I have to get NeedlesEye off the floor.
*Shakes her again* Come to your senses! *watches NeedlesEye's eyes (that's an odd phrase) open a little*

*Needleseye mumbles* Grey's blood's breathing what?! *Sits up.*

*Jet laughs*

Uh.. hey, Jet girl, uh I was dreaming? Again.

*Jet still laughing* No

Grey came out of the closet? or?

*snickers* No! that was Rat. Then you saw a hologram looked like Grey for a minute, That Emergency Engineering fellow over there. Then you fainted.

*NeedlesEye waves hand through EEH* oooh!

__________________
This tank. It isn't operational.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 7:45 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by needleseye:
Hey! Rat's ... out of the closet.

Quote:
Originally posted by Jet:
Grey came out of the closet? or?
*snickers* No! that was Rat.

err....Did I say closet? I meant storeroom!!

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005 11:12 PM

Rat, rat, you don't have to hide the real you from us. We're very accepting here. If you want to be attracted to other rats, we'll accept you for who you are.

I must admit, I'm just standing around, watching this "scientific" experiment, waiting for the moment when my medical services will be needed. Probably not too long now.

Nurse, the screens.

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 1:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
we'll accept you for who you are.

Then don't joke that I'm something that I ain't!!!

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 2:32 PM

MONTANAGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
I must admit, I'm just standing around, watching this "scientific" experiment, waiting for the moment when my medical services will be needed. Probably not too long now.

Hmm, you're probably right. I'll go get the Bactine.

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 2:49 PM

EBONEZER

*Ebo steps up on the ol' soapbox.*

I'm inturruping our regularly schedualed thingy for a rant that, as best friend of the president of our gay-straight alaiance, I feel obligated to give.

There's nothing wrong with being gay, or bi, or whatever. We love you no matter what...don't be a homophobe and don't get all "ewww...gay!" please.

besides, who doesn't love a gay guy? Ice Cream Guy is the greatest, because he is a straight-gay man. He's got all this wild fashion sense and taste in shoes and was inexplicably born with some natural hair dressing skills, but he's straight.

Anyways. Sorry for that.

*jumps off of box.*

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 4:08 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

There's nothing wrong with being gay, or bi, or whatever. We love you no matter what...don't be a homophobe and don't get all "ewww...gay!" please.

Bravo Captain! A great man once said, "Love thy neighbor as thyself." Even 2000 years later, it's still great advise.

Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 5:12 PM

I am all "ewww...gay"! I don't make a big deal of it here, because I'm not lookin' to start somethin'! I would appreciate it if you would do the same.

Ath, Genesis 19:1-29

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 5:17 PM