Sereni-Tree IV: The Voyage Home by Rat

Needleseye-
Always thinking, ain't ya? Smarts. That's what you got. Smarts.

I would be very interested to see the effects of your poppy wine. Not on myself, of course. I'll be an impartial observer of those imbibing said beverage and take notes. And maybe pictures.

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 6:48 PM

Wine?
MG, we can call it that if more people will try it.
In actuality, it's poppy hooch. shhh :)

*Gathered in a shower stall, they watch as Jet pours the fermented liquid into the pot. It begins to heat over a giant bunsen burner looking device Jet scavenged from the garbage incinerator.

Needleseye has a fire extinguisher handy. Jet cranks the burner and the first distilled drops condense and fall into the bottle.*

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 7:09 PM

Umm, is it supposed to be that color?

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Thursday, May 12, 2005 7:37 PM

What's wrong with the color?

*The bottle begins to fill a bit. Jet removes it and puts another bottle in it's place.*

We researched and according to the recipe you shouldn't really drink the first ounce it could probably hurt someone.

The rest will be the consumable portion, around 80 percent alcohol by volume.

If it's tasty enough we might get Rat some repeat customers.
Where did he go?
*shrugs*

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Friday, May 13, 2005 7:51 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by needleseye:
If it's tasty enough we might get Rat some repeat customers.
Where did he go?
*shrugs*

I'm here, my internet cut out for a spell last night.

*Calls Brighthouse*

I think the General can handle the shine runnin' just got to avoid that shootin' sheriff Little! About what do you think your yield will be? Repeat customers is nice!

"Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them."

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Friday, May 13, 2005 12:30 PM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

I would be very interested to see the effects of your poppy wine. Not on myself, of course. I'll be an impartial observer of those imbibing said beverage and take notes. And maybe pictures.

I think we should give some to the yetti. But thats just me.

Wait Rat! Don't leave yet!

*Ebo tosses Rat the 8 ball.*

You said you needed that.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Friday, May 13, 2005 12:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
I think we should give some to the yetti. But thats just me.

Whoa. Just got a mental image of drunk yeti with hula hoops. We could film it and sell copies. It might be as valuable as Needleseye's hooch.

Speaking of which, weren't we going to drop off the yeti and cozenants somewhere?

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Friday, May 13, 2005 1:33 PM

*Rat is knocked unconscious by a mysterious flying eight ball.*

"Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack."

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Friday, May 13, 2005 1:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
About what do you think your yield will be?

*ducks when Rat is pegged*
Whoa! Rat? You OK?
*looks about to make sure there are no more flying eight balls being lobbed*

Uh yeah, anyway, there was a giant barrel full, it looks to have created about 10 gallons?
Jet had a small sip and couldn't quit smiling for about 3 hours. I had a taste myself, it's rather.. spicey, and tingles all the way down. I'm thinking I know why Jet was smiling.

Perhaps take 5 gallons to barter with, believe me thats enough. We really need some food, and spam is just not part of my diet. Uh, and don't sample the poppy hooch while flying, very bad, bad idea.

*Gathers a few collapseable barrels*
Jet, let me know if you hear anything from Aegis.
Is that Emergency Engineering Hologram working?

I'm going to look for a room to do some growing and harvesting in. I'll be busy for a while trying to conjure up specific flowers. I need some thing to keep my mind busy.

*Needleseye wanders off to find a space for her flower crop, hums along the way.
Thinks~ Maybe I'll try The North Wing third floor to use the game preserve / mini-theme park, etc..... *

Hmm, mmmm, mmm ..

*Little flowers trail behind*

Flower in the morning rain
Dying in my hand...

-----blue flower, Mazzy Star

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Friday, May 13, 2005 5:06 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
*Rat is knocked unconscious by a mysterious flying eight ball.*

*Ath returns to the common room and grabs a marker. Begins to draw on Rat's face.*

Let's see...you need a mustache, a beard and mutton chops.

*leans back and checks his work.*

One more thing...

*Writes "I'm a big dummy" on Rat's forehead.*

Man, I gotta learn to grow up.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Friday, May 13, 2005 9:22 PM

*Needleseye finds a comfy place to rest in the miniature golf course, decides it's as good a place as any, begins to meditate on the many reasons flowers appear for her. Tries focusing on each one adding different songs and conjures a variety of flowering plants.
She settles on a few candidates, likely to be tasty once fermented.
Harnessing her emotions and energy she begins to grow a huge mound of honeysuckle, in another area, hops. She tries for more poppies* hmm? *Somehow these won't sprout, then remembers the energy behind the first room full of poppies.* Gonna be hard to duplicate that without a blood offering.
*sighs*
*Tries grapes*
*Decides to settle for roses and manages to start corn as well! Thinks ~We can smell nice and eat popcorn? After expending so much energy on her flower crops she starts to feel sleepy and gently lies back to slumber on the green. Honeysuckle begins to creep it's tendrils across her toes, entwining around her ankles moving up and slowly becomes a blanket-like form.

---
SereniTREE crew, this is the last of me for a while. I have an overabundance of moving, cleaning and painting to accomplish. I'll miss ya's.
Happy adventuring in the black,
Au revoir!
N.

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Friday, May 13, 2005 10:15 PM

*Lies there.*

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Saturday, May 14, 2005 5:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
*Lies there.*

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

Is no one else gonna get in on this? How can you guys resist?

*Heads to kitchen in search of a bowl to put warm water in.*

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Saturday, May 14, 2005 5:58 PM

MALICIOUS

Okay, fine.

(squirts shaving cream in Rat's hand, tickles his nose with a feather)

Happy now?

At least I didn't do a Dobson!

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Saturday, May 14, 2005 8:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CALLMEATH:
*Heads to kitchen in search of a bowl to put warm water in.*

AAAnnnndd I'm up!!

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Sunday, May 15, 2005 3:12 AM

SIMONWHO

Pity, I had some fascinating scientific experiments for which I needed a test vic... er, subject.

Volunteers?

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Sunday, May 15, 2005 2:36 PM

What's a Dobson?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Sunday, May 15, 2005 2:47 PM

MALICIOUS

Duh! When the Alliance guy in the first ep pounds on Book with the bottle, AFTER Book was knocked out. I'm (slightly) nicer than that.

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Sunday, May 15, 2005 3:27 PM

*Hits himself on the forehead, then walks away in shame.*

And I call myself a fan.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Sunday, May 15, 2005 3:39 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CALLMEATH:
*Hits himself on the forehead, then walks away in shame.*

If you wanted someone to smack you in the head, I would've been happy to oblige.

(Don't feel too bad. I didn't get where she was going with the Dobson reference either.)

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Monday, May 16, 2005 6:01 AM

JAKE7

If it makes you feel any better, I couldn't think of a thing that related to Dobson, and I just watched that episode Saturday!!

*skulks away in shame*

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Monday, May 16, 2005 6:23 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Pity, I had some fascinating scientific experiments for which I needed a test vic... er, subject.

Volunteers?

*raises hand*

Sure why not? I mean it could be fun, right? Maybe I'll get some weird physic abilities or eyes in the back of my head or...what kind of experiments were you planning...

*twg realizes she volunteered too quickly. leather straps secure her to a large chair as SimonWho whistles quietly to himself*

…is pie involved?

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Monday, May 16, 2005 6:47 AM

PSYCHICRIVER

Quote:
Sure why not? I mean it could be fun, right? Maybe I'll get some weird physic abilities or eyes in the back of my head or...

Ooh then we could be psychic buddies!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Monday, May 16, 2005 1:11 PM

SIMONWHO

Sorry twg, I'm only allowed to perform medical experiments on animals below a certain intelligence threshold.

*realises he needs a convincing reason to have strapped her down*

Well...

*realises he probably doesn't*

No, wait, you could be part of my great humour experiment. Very important, highly scientific work. Now you just stay there (like you have a choice) and I'll stand 10 paces away, with this fascinating blend of meringue and whipped cream on a soft foam flan base.

Let the experiment begin...

Hmm. Subject appears to become creamier and acquires a lighter skin tone. Nurse, note that down - this is highly amusing to me. Subject appears to be less amused, attempting to rectify...

*tickle tickle*

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Monday, May 16, 2005 1:45 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
No, wait, you could be part of my great humour experiment.

Standing by with extra pies, a banana, a chair, and a large wooden board.

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Monday, May 16, 2005 3:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
I'm only allowed to perform medical experiments on animals below a certain intelligence threshold.

Hmm, I have a clone you can use, it's not much good to me on account of it not having my dizzying intellect!

*When no one is looking, Rat finishes the transaction with the Pakled.*

Items traded: Three liters of zero-G "Abyss" goo, two tail feathers, one eight ball, one "get out of jail free" card, and one department store mannequin that I passed off as Bride6.

Items acquired: Enough SPAM to last us until we need more!

So, who's going with me on the shine run?

"Never be afraid to mislabel a product."

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Monday, May 16, 2005 3:48 PM

EBONEZER

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
I'm only allowed to perform medical experiments on animals below a certain intelligence threshold.

Hmm, I have a clone you can use, it's not much good to me on account of it not having my dizzying intellect!

See how I'm not saying anything snarky? I think I've grown.

Where's Static? Tis a shame he be not around to lick the pie off of TWG. *is practicing for the ren-fair.*

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeabig/

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Monday, May 16, 2005 4:24 PM

COZEN

He-he! Lookit me, I'm flying!

*Performs a daring, peregrine falconesque power dive from the ceiling of the common room. Scoops up Ebo and accelerates toward the atrium (betcha didn't know we had an atrium, but we do), where he has thoughfully prepared an NC-17 rated lovenest featuring a heart shaped bed of spam.*

Ha! Without TRM as our conscience, I can get away with anything!

*Develops cramp in left wing.*

Ouch.

*Drops Ebo.*

*Ebo plummets*

*Balanced upon a chair, a large wooden board holds several banana cream pies.*

Guess what Ebo lands on?

*Splat, etc.*

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ldnemeth/images/blackjacksilver.GIF

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Monday, May 16, 2005 5:49 PM

*Cozen falls through a newly formed portal and lands in Soul's brig.*

Ratboy Acquisitions Officer, Acting Acting Chief Engineer & Acting First Officer - USS SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 7:25 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
*Cozen falls through a newly formed portal and lands in Soul's brig.*

*Having fallen asleep in his desk chair (which, by the way, is really gorram comphy!), Soul awakens with a start at the sound of Cozen crashing to the floor of his Brig.*

Um...I'm assuming Rat is enjoying the temporary use of TRM's portal?

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 7:35 AM

STATIC

**Static finishes plotting the course to the pre-arranged rendezvous with Grey and takes a quick glance at all his monitors. He keys the shipwide comms.**

Rat. . .you're stepping a bit over the line. Put back those two extra titles and behave yourself or I will find a way to make you take a swim in deep space.

**Static climbs out of his pilot's chair and makes his way down the stairs.**

Now. . .there was some whipped cream needed licking off of someone else?

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 4:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

So, who's going with me on the shine run?

Heck, I might as well go, Rat. If you're not upset with me over the whole 'drawing on your face and trying to make you pee yourself' thing.

Why do I have that sick, gonna die soon feeling in my stomach again? Must be all that SPAM.

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 5:31 PM

*Wipes bits of pie off face, takes a step, and slips and falls on the remains of the banana on the floor.*

Gorammit! Why can't things go according to plan just once?

*Gets up with as much dignity as she can muster and heads back through the common room on the way to her quarters to get cleaned up and change. Notices Ath heading off with Rat and a bunch of moonshine.*

Why do I have the feeling that nothing good will come of this?

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 5:46 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

At least you can wander off somewhere!

I'm strapped to a chair, which I guess isn’t a bad thing in certain situations, and I'm covered in pie, again not necessarily a bad thing, and what am I supposed to do all night? Simon is prolly asleep. He used to clean the pie for me, but I think now he might get hurt for trying. And it could take a day or two for Static to find his way down here. (Jake, if you're reading this, can you unstrap me?)

Woe is me.

*twg tries to lick pie from her face, but does not succeed*

I'm hungry.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 6:27 PM

*Pauses on her way to her quarters when she hears a pitiful voice calling from the infirmary.*

Sorry Weirdness, I just assumed Static was taking care of that for you. But as I notice that he still hasn't made it down here... *goes over and unstraps twg from the chair.*

No hard feelings right? I was really hoping to get in a sideways completely unexpected deposit on Simon. Oh well, maybe next time.

*Resumes trudging to her quarters.*

If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot. - D'Argo

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 7:11 PM

THEREALME

* Rat and Ath board the General Lee and fly off to rendezvous with the Pakleds. As the main hanger doors are closing behind them, a spot of light appears on the wall of the Common Room. It expands to become a ring of fire around a dark void. From this hole in reality steps TheRealMe. *

I call First Officer and Chief Engineer!

Heh.

You as the Acquisitions Officer, Rat? I don’t think so.

After all, Cargomaster is a much cooler title for you. You can get Rat-clone and Badger-clone to help out.

* TheRealMe looks around, puzzled. *

Say, haven’t we reached Earth-that-still-is YET? I plotted a straight-line course. That was over a week ago!

* TheRealMe goes to Main Engineering and looks about for Needleseye or Jet in order to bestow the Chief Engineer title. *

Huh. Where are THEY?

* TheRealMe regains control of the main computer and then checks out ThatWeirdGirl’s plan to fold hyperspace around the grav drive in order to get Grey back. He whistles. *

Hey, it’s theoretically possible that this might work without killing absolutely everybody!

The Real Me, First Officer and Chief Engineer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005 11:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* Rat and Ath board the General Lee and fly off to rendezvous with the Pakleds. As the main hanger doors are closing behind them, a spot of light appears on the wall of the Common Room. It expands to become a ring of fire around a dark void. From this hole in reality steps TheRealMe. *

*Rat and Ath see TheRealMe in TheRearView.*

Over comm: RealMe, good to have you back! No need to call anything! Computer, reinstate TheRealMe as First Officer & Acting Chief Engineer.

*Rat feels a tingle(like dandruff shampoo) as TRM's powers transfer back.*

Over comm: Your first order of business, should be to see to Cozen. You'll find him in the brig.
Second, we're not off to do business with the Pakleds, by now they've discovered that the department store mannequin is NOT Bride6, and will be in more or less in a killing mood.
Thirdly, I like the title "Acquisitions Officer", it gives me a chance to quote from a certain set of rules!!

"It never hurts to suck up to the boss."

Ratboy - Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 12:12 AM

SIMONWHO

Don't forget they plotted a course for Earth in the first ever episode of Red Dwarf and they still haven't gotten there.

What? Someone has unstrapped my experiment? Oh dear, this is no good. Ah well, I'll have to find some other hapless fool to run tests on. But which fool and how will I get them to volunteer? Oh... I have an idea.

*************************************************
WANTED: Special Assistant to provide important Scientific support to noted Doctor. Post provides competitive salary, life experiences and has a very big and important sounding job title.
*************************************************

twg, I think someone else was volunteering to help with the pie cleaning, perhaps he's still waiting for you in your room? MG, you ought to realise you've got to get up very early in the morning to catch me off guard with a pie. Mostly because I'm up about 5 hours before you are and the time difference, plus baking time, putting the appropriate filling in, whipping the cream, etc, etc.

So Earth that still is, eh? Perhaps if I went to the engine room and tried to add a little bit of an Oomph to them...

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 1:02 AM

BRIDE7

Quote:

*************************************************
WANTED: Special Assistant to provide important Scientific support to noted Doctor. Post provides competitive salary, life experiences and has a very big and important sounding job title. the above is a lie, don't believe a word of it
*************************************************

I'm here about the job!

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 9:04 AM

JAKE7

*After unstrapping TWG, jake7 snags a pie and sneaks off to enjoy it -- until she realized it was made out of SPAM, that is. She spit out the SPAM and heads off to her room.*

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 10:28 AM

COZEN

Okay, which one of you stole my signature parrot?

C'mon, fess up.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 10:48 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:
Okay, which one of you stole my signature parrot?

C'mon, fess up.

That would be Xenocide, except that's a crab claw...

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 10:51 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen:

Okay, for some identification on who in the picture is a crew member on the Sereni-TREE:

Second from right: SoulOfSerenity
Third from left (up top): Malicious
In the middle(as if his shirt doesn't give it away): TheRealMe

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 11:04 AM

COZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfSerenity:
That would be Xenocide, except that's a crab claw...
______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Xenocide ate my parrot?!

Mai: I require solace. Stat! Um... you'd find me in the brig, on the wrong side of the bars....

***
Amazing grace... (etc)

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 3:04 PM

MAI

Oh my dear SereniTree peoples. Ok, technically your not MY people, but still I miss ya when I am being swallowed whole by the freakin' disease that is RL. Dare I ask...Are we there yet? No? Again I hate to bring up a sensitive subject, but I'm pretty sure we passed the Earth that was/still is/will be whatever planet Exit about 2 miles back.

Now it appears I have other things to look into. Cozen, sweetie, I'll be right there.

*Takes out mini-computer ship layout technologically way advanced thingy and begins search of the ship*

Searching for brig... computing... initialize... data found.

Bridge. Also known as SereniTree Bridge of Insanity. Located directly on southwest entrance of waterpark. Invisible drawn doors and...

Arrrrrrrr... I hate technology!!!! I said brig you stupid piece of crap! *Smashes mini-compt thingy into tiny bits*

Hey TRM! Nice to have you back. I hate to put you to work on your first day back, but could you give a portal ride to the brig?

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 3:32 PM

MALICIOUS

Soul,

Hey, how'd the picture get so small?

Mal-licious

"Let's go be bad guys."

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 4:25 PM

*Rat and Ath zip along in the General on there way to trade shine for "real food"(namely Chig chow), when suddenly they see something in the rear view. Who(or what) could it be...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Revenuers?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Reavers?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Worse?*

"The riskier the road, the greater the profit"

Ratboy - Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 5:35 PM

MAI

I've changed my mind. After a recalling the last misadventure with the portal I've decided to do things on my own. Not that I don't trust the portal in TRM's hands, just a little wary is all.

*Searches for the brig for hours upon end, manically running up the stairs, and around nearly every floor a gazillion times*
(Ok, 2 times, but geez, there are a lot of stairs!)

Now what. Back to where I started I guess.

*Slides down wall and plops on floor in the spot she started*

Why is there not a com link to this brig? Oh right. Cause it's jail...

It's gotta be around here somewhere. One more time around the ship. *Stands up and turns around and finds a miniscule sign posted above her head*

"THE BRIG THIS WAY ---------->>>>>"

*Follows brightly lit neon sign several feet down the hall* Hehe. Uh. Hi there Cozen. Sorry to hear about your parrot. I know it won't make up for your loss, but I brought you a present.

*Hands over finely wrapped gift box with several holes in the lid. Strange sounds emit from the box*

"Squeek...Squck....uh.... Squack, yea that's it I mean Squack!

Cozen unwraps paper, opens the lid and TA DA! Out walks a baby parrot clone.

"Squeechhkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Molly wants some lacquer...."

He's not too bright, but ain't he cute?

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005 5:51 PM