An old fashioned reminisce - Best One-Liners … by Zoot

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An old fashioned reminisce - Best One-Liners …

POSTED BY: ZOOT
UPDATED: Friday, May 27, 2005 06:10
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Friday, May 27, 2005 3:34 AM

I’ve been giving some thought recently (re-watching Buffy) to the beauty of Wedonesque one-liners.

Any one got any favourites single lines of dialogue form the Big Damn Series?

To start the ball rolling here are my two nominations for each character:

MAL

Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

You been bird-doggin' this township awhile now... folks 'round here wouldn't mind a corpse of you.

WASH

Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.

Once in flight school, I was laconic.

JAYNE

Pain is scary.

I got respect. But I'm just saying... gold...

SIMON

No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

Another exciting adventure in sitting.

ZOE

First rule of battle, little one. Never let 'em know where you are.

Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

INARA

Except that the exact word I used was "don't".

Every well-bred petty crook knows -- the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting

RIVER

Also, I can kill you with my brain.

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

KAYLEE

Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

Oh, it's sweet. Poor little thing never even saw the light of day, now it's in show business!

BOOK

You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.

Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps

And as for non-regulars, I think this may be the best gorram line in the entire series:

You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome.

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Friday, May 27, 2005 3:38 AM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Are we talking funny one-liners or profound one liners? Cause you had both.

My noms:

Jayne: I was gonna git me a ear, too...

Jayne: She mad or somethin'?

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Friday, May 27, 2005 3:52 AM

ZOOT

Quote:
Originally posted by InevitableBetrayal:
Are we talking funny one-liners or profound one liners? Cause you had both.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

Well - I started off thinking funny and then sort of moved on to ones that kinda really sum up the character - but mostly I've just gone for the ones I like the most! Tried to cull it to one per character but way too hard - still didn't get in lines like:

"Well, maybe I'm not a fancy gentleman like you with your... very fine hat." which I LOVE

However, the beauty of the above one is more in the delivery than the words themselves, I decided ....

Have to say "gonna git me an ear" was in my top 5!!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Friday, May 27, 2005 4:32 AM

MANTICHORUS

MAL:
"...If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."

"Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!"

"You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people."

WASH:
"Some people juggle geese!"

"Yeah, yeah. We are so hung!"

"Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere."

JAYNE:
"You're the guy!" (when he gets his rain stick)

Cough... Kinda watched Our Mrs Reynolds last night... Can't think of any other one-liners.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
ZOE: "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
VINCENT: "I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it."

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Friday, May 27, 2005 5:00 AM

STEVETHEPIRATE

River (deleted scene): "We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

How 'bout successive one-liners?
Zoe: "Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone."
Jayne: "Butcher's knife!"
Zoe: "Anyone we can't spare."

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MY APOCALYPTIC TENOR HAS NOT BEEN DISPELLED! - T-Rex ( www.qwantz.com)

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Friday, May 27, 2005 6:10 AM

ZOOT

Manitchorus - SO with you on:
MAL:
"...If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."

- The coolest man in the 'Verse!!

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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