The S.S. SereniTree's Homecoming by thatweirdgirl

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
...giving the crew something to do!!

Now that that's settled, we still need to arm 64k+ Yeti.

"War is good for business"

Ratboy - Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

"How many, sir?"

Sixty-four. Thousand.

"Right away!"

*While AO Rat indulges his afternoon nap curled up amongst the rootbeer behind the bar, cozen takes delivery of a bunch of kazoos*

*Distributes kazoos amongst yeti.*

Figured we needed a marching band. I mean, we do, don't we?

http://www3.sympatico.ca/ldnemeth/images/blackjacksilver.GIF

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Monday, May 30, 2005 2:28 PM

RAT

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Ratboy - Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Monday, May 30, 2005 2:30 PM

Bonzai!

*Parachutes to Earth-that-still-is. Finds somewhat crumpled Ferrari, manages to start it up. Drives over to the original Clubhouse, car making a lot of ca-chunka sounds and belching large amounts of environmentally unfriendly oily smoke.*

*Walks in through clubhouse door.*

Hey, TWG! Found you!

Say, I signed on well after y'all left here. Wonderin' if ya'd mind giving me....

...the tour....

Oh.

Dear....

***
Wha' happened?

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Monday, May 30, 2005 3:40 PM

JET

Quote:
Jet? I'm going to need full engine power very soon, now, and how about getting our weapon systems operational?

TRM, Engines are at the ready, all systems online... you have full power. FTL fully operational.Thinks~Cuz The Sereni-Tree is HOT!
*Checks weapon systems* ... Weapons all appear to be functional. Not terribly up on the weaponry, been rather focused on keeping SereniTree flying and trying to find the other Asst. Engineer.
I'll get right back to ya on that.
I would imagine Grey could be an immense amount of help right now, though I'm not sure he's even concious. Can someone give me a update on that?

SO, we're at war now?
*sighs and continues weapons check*

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Monday, May 30, 2005 3:48 PM

JET

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
[BHey folks!!! We're all set to get the hell out of here if we need to!!! Someone tell me what you want me to do!!!

STATIC!

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Monday, May 30, 2005 4:01 PM

MONTANAGIRL

Well, it looks like Simon has things under control at the moment. I think I need to take a break in the jacuzzi. (This has not been my best day ever.)

*Grabs a Pepsi and joins lissa in the hot tub.*

Too bad Ath isn't around right now. He likes jacuzzis.

Continue ahead on with your war. I'll be along later.

"One day, lad, all this will be yours ..."
"What - the curtains?"

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Monday, May 30, 2005 4:10 PM

LISSA

yay, i've got a jacuzzi buddy!

*sips mimosa happily, requests spelling correction if necessary*

this warm chocolate is doing wonders for my skin.

~lissa, spwhore

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Monday, May 30, 2005 6:15 PM

* TheRealMe turns to his companions on the Bridge: *

Ebo, Static, here is what I know:

I landed us here at the original Clubhouse for our one-year anniversary. Very soon afterward, we started getting attacked from above. Explosions occurred around us. Something in orbit (or high flight) is tossing bombs (or maybe energy blasts or large hunks of mass) at us. Emma, here, is one of our newer arrivals. It’s her spherical ship that is docked at the main airlock, as it’s too big to fit in our hanger. She was about to tell us about the War that is occurring, a War that started after we departed Earth-that-still-is.

The Sereni-tree is prepared to depart and fight, if need be. We really ought to get moving, before our enemies’ ranging shots finally connect with the ship and blow us to bits.

TheGreyJedi has been recovered, though he is unconscious in the Infirmary and it seems that his mecha has been destroyed. Jet is in Main Engineering, ready to respond to our needs. Oh, thanks, Jet!

By now, everyone is aboard except…

* TheRealMe checks his com-link display. *

Everyone except ThatWeirdGirl and Cozen. Blast! They just disembarked. They’re over there in the old Clubhouse!

* TheRealMe hops into one of the three (non-pilot) control stations on the Bridge, and starts tapping on the control surface. Then he speaks:*

ThatWeirdGirl! Cozen! Please return to the ship! We need to get moving…

* A pair of metal and plastic gauntlets descend from the ceiling. TheRealMe fits his hands into them to activate the Sereni-Tree’s grappler arms. TheRealMe moves one hand and wiggles his fingers. In response, from one side of the Sereni-Tree, a huge mechanical arm swings out, wiggles its fingers, then reaches for the Clubhouse, palm upward. *

ThatWeirdGirl! Cozen! I can pick you up and put you in the cargo bay!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Monday, May 30, 2005 9:02 PM

NEEDLESEYE

*Enters the med bay since MG is taking a break. SimonWho is busy doing lab tests or something. Needleseye slowly walks over to the table where Grey lies, silent and battle weary. Greatful that TWG's plan worked, wondering though if it was for naught.
She stands there, then thinks~ Thats sorta creepifying, I really shouldn't be hovering.Moves over to a seat nearby she begins to sing quietly...*

Non nobis, Domine, Domine,
Non nobis, Domine,
sed nomini, sed nomini, tuo da gloriam.

*white roses bloom from her palms and she begins to weave them together into a chain*

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Monday, May 30, 2005 9:20 PM

*Emma goes to the bridge, annoyed she can't stop singing the oompa loompa song but pleased that Rat has accepted her excellent and extremely fair and totally non-exploitative terms for business. She will buy him a nice ear-stroking as soon as she can*

You mean, we're at war. Now I am not entirely sure that is a good idea, can't we just leave the earthlings to their fate. I mean there isn't anything left on the planet worth having now is there?

*TRM scowls at Emma*

Ok.....

The enemy is the TooLeiNaMin, they are as nasty as Reavers but clever - they have goals! Yes, the SMART goals in fact (their leader was a management trainer until being converted to the dark-side).

They now aim to rape and pillage entire planets for everything they can get. They only let the most intelligent and useful people join them, the rest end up dead. So far they have been trying to land on Earth-that-was for 6 months but failed and so they bombard it from above. Here is the difficulty - they are almost impossible to fight. They steal from everywhere and so have every type of weapon anyone on this hulk of metal can think of. By the time people have a defense against one weapon another one replaces it. That pink dust cloud was caused by a Delphiniun Redactor Transducer; the dust eats into man-made structures but leaves organic matter alive. It means they are desparate because they like man-made things best, they can make a profit.

*Emma silently prays no-one asks how she knows all of this*

Oh, they also like chocolate and have chocolate sensors installed on most of their ships which makes them very likely to come after us...

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Monday, May 30, 2005 11:41 PM

PSYCHICRIVER

*IN the infirmary, with SW and NE, PR hears Static's announcement about how they can leave at anytime they want. PR goes a bit weird, and stary... he looks towards the door of the infirmary.*

It's too late. They're here.

*SW and NE take notice of what PR says, but assume he's just being strange.*

*PR slowly walks over to the door, and opens it and goes through it... he starts walking to the engine room, at the back of the ship, as if he is in a trance...*

*Meanwhile...out around the back of the ship...

Somehow our enemies have managed to land...about a dozen of them are slowly stalking up to the ship... they grab on to the back, the engine room... they start attacking it...cracking parts, pulling bits off, bending tubes... dismantling the engine. Two of them slowly go over to the old clubhouse.*

*PR slowly makes his way to the engine room. Meanwhile on the bridge, Static, Ebo, TRM and Emma notcie a short rumble and a shake as the engines stop. Our engine is now to dismantled to run anymore.*

*PR opens the door to the engine room, and see's Jet looking at the walls in confusion, slowly backing away as dents start to form. Clunking sounds can be heard and grunting.*

*Jet looks at PR.*

Time to go.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:11 AM

SIMONWHO

Oh bugger.

Wait here, I'll be back.

*runs into his blue box*

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 2:57 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

*Soul, still standing at the auxiliary hatch, armed with his bow, sees the invaders disable the engine*

That can't be good.

*Soul looks down at his collection of arrowheads and selects one, arming each arrow before he fires it off. The first arrow sinks deep into the thigh of one of the invaders, who turns and growls at Soul a mere half a second before dissapearing into a pinprick of light.*

Localized singularities. Gotta love 'em.

*Seeing what happened to their compatriot, several of the remaining invaders turn and run for Soul.*

Oh, that's not good.

*Soul begins to fire arrows Legolas-style, and begins chuckling as the invaders are rapidly sucked into singularity after singularity. Suddenly, there is a growl behind him, and Soul realises that one of the rules of combat it to cover your back.*

Oh, crap!

*He spins and tries to bring the bow around to fire, but a split second before he can fire the arrow, something explodes against the side of his head and-

Black.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 6:12 AM

JAKE7

*jake7 checks her pockets for her trusty remove and supply of batteries.*

Well, I hope my force-field will still work with these guys...

*she puts the remote back in her pocket and huddles in a corner. She's very, very nervous.*

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 6:36 AM

PSYCHICRIVER

*PR quickly takes hold of Jet and leads them both out of the engine room. PR slides the door shut beind them and locks it*

*Meanwhile, downstairs, underneath the engine room SOS hits the ground with a thud, and is about to be set upon by the enemy (who's weird name escapes me)*

Jet, go and find TheRealMe, Ebo and the others. And get weapons. Lots of weapons. And possibly SPAM.

*PR sets off in the opposite direction, down the stairs. He gets there just in time to see one of the creatures make a leap for Soul. PR uses his telekineitc powers to lift a crate and thrusts it at the creature mid-leap. It knocks him off course and smashes on top of him.*

*The crate seemed to be carrying...tiramisu? Soul lies there with pieces of tiramisu on his face. More of the creatures are gathering at the back door sniggering at PR.*

Oh my god!

There was tiramisu on board and nobody told me?!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 10:45 AM

*Serenity comes out of her greenhouse(where she has a comfy hammock), stretching her wings, newly awakened from sleep..and very grouchy*

What is all this noise?!?! I was trying to sleep!

*She sees the open artillary hatch and peers out...*

Oh, we're being attacked.

*...just in time to see Soul hit by a whatever-it-is-that's-attacking-us, and PR send the crate flying at them*

OH NO! SOUL!!

*She rushes towards Soul, heedless of her own safety*

PR, he's out cold! Help me get him back in the ship before those things attack again!!

Oooh, tiramisu.

****
Funny things Ath said on vacation:
"You'd go by it, and it'd be sitting there, all abandoned and pink."
"Are you speaking words?"

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:04 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

As a side note, Soul will be unconcious for at least 2 days, for in RL, I'll be on a Business trip through Thursday (see my blog).

*Soul stirs momentarily and stares up at Serenity.*

Are you an angel?

*Before he gets an answer, his head swims again and the darkness pulls him back.*

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:04 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Gorram double post.
______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:10 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*twg and Cozen, inside the clubhouse, hear glass crunch outside the door. They stand back to back, his left hand in her right hand, terrified of the danger that is about to beset them.*

Cozen, I just want you to know that you are a great guy. You’re always the first one to help me when something’s amiss. Thanks. You’ve been good to me since you joined our crew and while I have yet to be kidnapped, I have enjoyed your company.

*twg takes a deep breath and focuses…two disfigured forms swagger into the clubhouse foyer…she knows her confusion powers will not work on these creatures so she hopes they take the bait…*

Cozen, hon, don’t say a word. Just agree when I say to agree. We’re gonna try to convince them we are too valuable, ‘intelligent’, to harm. Okay?

*she takes one more deep breath and clears her mind…*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:45 AM

JAZAF

A shout comes from the entrance of the clubhouse. "Hello? Is this a good time to ask....about..." The creatures look behind them at the source of the voice. A Young Man stands there with a Katana strapped to his back and a shocked look on his face. "Damn! You guys are 3 different kinds of ugly aren't ya?" Both monsters charge at him. In one fluid motion the young man spins at the last moment to the left, drawing his weapon, and slashes at the legs of one of the creatures.

The creature howls and falls to the floor. The other creature charges again. "Well, Let's hope your Heart is in the right place." The swordsman mumbles and lunges at the creature. The Katana strikes home and the creature crumples to the floor. Calmly, the swordsman removes his katana from the chest of the recently fallen creature and finishes the one grasping it's legs.

Flinging the blood from his blade, the swordsman looks to the couple in the room and says, "Hiya, My name's Jazaf."

---------------------------------------
Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with till you
understand who's in rutting command here.

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 11:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Just agree when I say to agree. We’re gonna try to convince them we are too valuable, ‘intelligent’, to harm. Okay?

*she takes one more deep breath and clears her mind…*

*cozen tightens his grip on twg's right hand, to the point where knuckles whiten, cartiledge crunches. Swears to remain silent, all the better to concentrate on thatweirdvibe which seems their only hope for salvation....*

*...until Jazaf bursts into the clubhouse, all swaying katanalike!*

(Mental telepathically): Hope he's a) got good peripheral vision, and, b) keeps that blade still when the confusion spell hits him, too.

*begins feeling oddly intelligent, in a very valuable way.*

***
This could get all manner of confusing....

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:06 PM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*twg uses her best matter-of-fact voice*…As I was saying, the artificial intelligence will need to understand time. Time? You ask. Yes. You see it will need to perceive when two events occur at the same time, when events are identical or opposite-symmetrical…etc. The AI must have a feel for time as a quantity and time as a trajectory…

*twg stops her rambling about the trials of AI development to gaze, open mouthed at the new comer*

Impressive.

I’m ThatWeirdGril and this is Cozen. WE are trying to take back this shack, our former clubhouse, from these things. You’re welcome to join us. You obviously have some skill with a blade.

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:39 PM

* Sitting in his control station on the Bridge of the Sereni-Tree, TheRealMe is concerned as he quickly takes in the information from the damage control readings. *

Where did THESE guys come from? Why didn’t our sensors pick them up? What are they doing to the ship?

Computer! Sound Red Alert!

Red Alert acknowledged.

* All around the Sereni-Tree, red lights start flashing. *

Hmmmm… This is rather serious!

Jet! Are you still down below in the engine room? TheGreyJedi has several different spacedrives down there! Surely you can get ONE of them working! Jet? Jet?

* There is no response from Bride4. TheRealMe becomes more concerned. Has Main Engineering been over-run? *

Computer, isolate all ship controls to the Bridge. Then connect me to the ship-wide com!

Acknowledged. Control functions isolated. Communication link opened.

Listen, everyone! We are currently under attack! All available hands need to move to repel boarders!

* TheRealMe engages the heads-up display of the grappler arm controls. He is surrounded by a holographic view of the outside of the Sereni-tree. Still attached to the grappler arm controls, TheRealMe starts waving his arms about. *

Now, let’s see if this will work…

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:41 PM

* Down below, a small form curled into a ball launches itself past PsychicRiver and straight out the Sereni-Tree’s auxiliary airlock hatch into open air, trailing a rope behind. Suddenly, the rope pulls taut. At the far end of the rope, Cozen’s River-clone keeps her grip and straightens her body to its full length. She seems to dangle there for the briefest moment as gravity takes over. River-clone adopts a blissful smile as she begins her swing down and toward the ship’s hull. *

Wheeee!

* As River-clone reaches the bottom of her swing, she impacts one of the enemy in the small of his back with her combat boots. This target crumples, falling on top of the wounded SoulOfSerenity. She remarks, conversationally, to CallMeSerenity: *

A pendulum was used by Galileo to measure the velocity of falling objects.

* River-clone does a back-flip, lands on her feet, crouching, and jabs her left elbow back into the gut of another foe. He also falls to the ground. Another enemy grabs her by her right arm and yanks. River-clone laughs: *

Let’s dance!

* Using the momentum imparted by her foe, River-clone falls to the ground and spins, supported by her left arm. As she whirls about, her right arm and both feet lash out to impact her new opponent in various tender locations. He goes down, too. River-clone somersaults to her feet, arms stretched out wide and gazing at the sky: *

No power in the ‘verse can stop me!

* But then three opponents train their weapons on River-clone, CallMeSerenity, and SoulOfSerenity. One fires a warning shot near River-clone’s feet, which breaks her out of her reverie. She slowly turns toward them, and seems surprised, as if noticing them for the first time. *

* With evil grins, the trio approachs in a tight group, weapons ready. River-clone smiles back at them and tenses her body, ready to leap forward. *

* At that moment, the palm of a gigantic mechanical hand descends to squash the three flat! *

* TheRealMe’s voice can be heard over the Sereni-Tree’s external speakers: *

Get Soul back on board the ship! I'll wait for you! I have an idea how we can move Sereni-Tree without the engines!

* Under TheRealMe’s control, the pair of giant grappler arms on the outside of the Sereni-Tree begins to swat away members of the enemy force and pluck them off the ship’s surface. *

*River-clone turns to CallMeSerenity, frowning: *

Human beings are bi-laterally symmetrical bipeds. No wings allowed.

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:47 PM

* In his control station on the Bridge, still connected to the Sereni-Tree’s external grappler arms, TheRealMe tenses his own arms and points them fist-down on either side of him. *

* Outside, both of the ship’s grappler arms seem to punch straight down into the ground. With some straining of servo motors, the entire Sereni-Tree rises into the air, supported by these mechanical arms. The ship remains poised for a moment, then seems to lean forward. One by one, the grappler arms move to catch the structure before it topples. Very clumsily, the Sereni-Tree is walking toward the original Clubhouse. *

* TheRealMe struggles as he continues with this awkward maneuver. *

Huh. I bet we look like a drunken chicken.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 12:50 PM

* The Sereni-Tree lurches around him as TheRealMe uses the grappler arms to move the ship. He glances at the growing number of red indicators on his control panel. Clearly, the grappler arms were not meant to handle this sort of strain! *

* Suddenly, Jet enters the Bridge. She is in some distress. *

Jet: RealMe! We have problems! Ship’s been boarded. They might have taken over Engineering by now!

TRM: I’ve seen. Say, Jet, you know how to work these grappler arms, don’t you? Well, I’m trying to use them to walk the Sereni-Tree over to the old clubhouse. We’ve got to help Cozen and ThatWeirdGirl, who are trapped inside. But I’ve got some things to do right now. Get into the control station next to me and take over.

* Jet hops into the indicated control station and activates the controls. Plastic and metal gauntlets descend from the ceiling to her, and she puts her arms into them. *

TRM: Jet, have our enemies taken the Common Room, yet?

Jet: Not when I passed through, but that’s been a little while.

* With a little coaching, TheRealMe shows Jet how to “walk” the Sereni-Tree using the grappler arms. *

TRM: Okay, you’re doing fine. Just get us next to the old clubhouse, up on top of that hill.

Jet: Right!

TRM: Oh, Jet, I'm glad you're okay.

* TheRealMe turns to Ebonezer. *

TRM: Ebo! Could you come with me to the West Wing, please? You have the super-power to talk to any creature. As it happens, I do not speak Yeti. I’d like you to try to convince our 64,000 Yeti passengers to help fight off these intruders.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 1:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Ebo! Could you... try to convince our 64,000 Yeti passengers to help fight off these intruders?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

*Hordes of yeti file through Sereni-Tree, kazoos blaring!*

*The Evil Intruders drop all armaments in their haste to cover their ears. Moaning pitifully, the EI either cower or begin sprinting for an exit, any exit.*

*Too late for the EI in the clubhouse, as their last views were that of Jazaf's blade.*

Say, twg, I think we're allright,least for now. Gotta say though, you're looking a wee bit on the pale-ish side of white....

Oh.

*Painfully eases grip on twghand. This seems to have a positive effect on twgcomplexion.*

Oops. Things were getting kinda fearful there, for a bit.

Listen, trust me, yer on the tippity-top of my kidnappee A-list. Yes'm, that's for certain. 'Cept I've got this respect for the inevitable Spam wastage that would ensue when your "rescuers" barge into the scenario.

Hey, what's that over....

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 1:35 PM

PSYCHICRIVER

*PR feels a breeze as the (very attractive) River clone blows past him and outside. PR quickly lifts Soul and takes him to the infirmary and places him next to TGJ.*

*PR then goes back down and stands at the edge of the open airlock, telekinetically launching tiramisuc at the enemy as Sereni-Tree wobbles along very much like a drunken chicken.*

*A piece of tiramisu slaps PR on the face. He licks his lip.*

I like this war.

Tastes good.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 2:08 PM

Soul called me an angel!

Of course, he was all semi-conscious and probably concussed, but still..

Quote:
*River-clone turns to CallMeSerenity, frowning: *

Human beings are bi-laterally symmetrical bipeds. No wings allowed.

Who said I was human?

PR-thanks for getting Soul. I hope he's going to be okay!

*Serenity, who's feeling a bit seasick from all this lurching about, finds it easier to fly alongside SereniTree as she lumbers towards the clubhouse. Serenity flies ahead and lands in front of the clubhouse*

Hi TWG, Hi Cozen, Hi Man I Don't Know Carrying a Big Sword.

*she takes a step back. It's a big sword, and it's kind of bloody*

Glad to see you're alright. SereniTree's on it's way to come rescue you-not that you seem to need it at the moment. TRM wants to get going right away.

"He looked bigger when I couldn't see him."

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 5:31 PM

CALLMEATH

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:

Too bad Ath isn't around right now. He likes jacuzzis.

*Ath pops out of his room, where he was developing his new powers (pyrokenesis and a Jedi-like precognition) and working on his weapons training. He's wearing his swim trunks and has a twelve pack of Pepsi and a few mimosas.*

Sorry I'm late MG, but I come bearing Pepsi.

*Checks out all the war and stuff, and considers using his cool new ability to help out. Instead he jumps into the jacuzzi and uses his pyrokenesis to raise the temp a few degress.*

Ahhh...perfect! *Hands lissa mimosas*

Now, who wants a neck massage?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 5:42 PM

LISSA

pepsi? mimosas?? neck massage???
ath, you are the perfect man.

mm, chocolate massage!

~lissa, spwhore

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:14 PM

Good job, everyone! We seem to have beaten off the land assault. Just don't forget that there are still those attacks from orbit to worry about! We are going to need the Sereni-Tree's engines repaired as soon as possible! I'll see if I can find us some shelter from above, an overhanging rock or something, to hide the ship under while repairs are made.

Quote:
Originally posted by cozen to ThatWeirdGirl:

Listen, trust me, yer on the tippity-top of my kidnappee A-list. Yes'm, that's for certain. 'Cept I've got this respect for the inevitable Spam wastage that would ensue when your "rescuers" barge into the scenario.

Sheesh, Cozen! Regarding your "pleasurable torture" kidnapping spree, there are only three simple rules to follow to keep me off your back:

1) Do not abduct unwilling victims.

2) Do not abduct underage victims.

3) In the course of your kidnapping, do not take over critical ship areas, like the Bridge, Main Engineering, or the Captain's nest under the pool table.

I didn't bother you when you kidnapped Mai, remember? That was the ONLY one of your kidnappings to date to abide by the above.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 9:46 PM

They've gone have they, excellent

*Emma comes out from behind a loose panel on the bridge*

I don't do hand-to-hand combat, it is very messy and leads to pain.

If someone can get this ship underway I have a warp-core capaciter drive on my ship. I might be able to reconnect the flux-tubes using a derigenter and connect it to your central engine. If we do this we can get away very quickly but it will mean leaving Earth-that-was to fend for itself, nobody minds do they?

I'm not going to my ship by myself in case there are any evil invaders straggling behind, are there any spare security people about to escort me?

Yes, I am a coward, but a rich and clever one.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005 9:47 PM

MAI

GOod lord I leave for a day and miss the battle to end all battles. Or at least a really cool fight. Well just so everyone knows RL has put me in an ultra pissy, lets-tear-to-pieces-every-enemy-we-can-get-our-hands on kinda mood.

Only one slight little problem. Who's gonna teach me to shoot? Right now I'm going to try and go de-stress and relax as much as possible.

*Runs back to room to change clothes and join the party in the chocolate jacuzzi. Grabbing several cases of the infamous non-hangover inducing, terribly strong,bottles filled with some sort of alcohol like substance*

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 1:21 AM

STATIC

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
. . . there are only three simple rules to follow to keep me off your back:

Actually. . .there's a FOURTH rule. . .

4.) Don't try to kidnap TWG, as Static is very attached to her and could kill you with a canteen tray.

=====================================================
You'll still need a tray.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 1:35 AM

Well, actually, Static, those three rules are what would keep ME from bothering Cozen. I never made any promises about the REST of the crew.

On the other hand...

Well...

She's not your POSSESSION, you know. She does have free will of her own.

And if you do try to kill Cozen, with a canteen tray or in any other way, then I will be forced to...

*Sigh*

...defend him.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 1:53 AM

*meteor troll senses the distress TRM is feeling, he loves TRM and picks him up and walks around the ship hugging him and singing something that would almost sound like a lullaby if he wasn't a 7ft scary looking monster*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 2:11 AM

CALLMEATH

Quote:
Originally posted by lissa:

ath, you are the perfect man.

Would you be so kind as to tell every woman in the Fredericksburg area that?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 2:17 AM

* TheRealMe is made somewhat uncomfortable by the meteor troll’s attentions, but tries not to let on. *

Oh, Emma, thank you for the idea of melding your ship’s engines with those of the Sereni-Tree. That should at least get us mobile until more permanent repairs can be made. Jet, Needleseye, could you coordinate with Emma, please? Feel free to use Sparky or the Ebo Golem to help.

I can just imagine all the hoses and cables that we’ll have to wind through airlocks and down stairways to accomplish this!

As for giving up on Earth-that-still-is? Sorry, I don’t want to do that, especially since we still have resources that haven’t even been tapped, yet!

* TheRealMe pulls a control device from a pocket, and starts inputting instructions into it. In orbit high above, 36 satellites come to life. *

See, some five or six months ago, Mal-licious complained about the cold, so I built her a network of orbital weather control lasers.

* TheRealMe enters a few more instructions. High above, 36 satellites change their orientations and begin to power themselves up. *

Their combined destructive potential is, in fact, substantial!

* TheRealMe presses a little red button on his control device. Soon after, the threatening orbital bombardment of strange pink explosions stop. *

There! Now BOTH sides need to make repairs. That should buy us a little time.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 3:22 AM

Jazaf: thank you, sir, for saving our lives. Totally in the spirit of things around here. Think maybe there's a not-so-blushy bride on board with whom ya might want to compare blades and katana techniques.

And TWG, that maiden princess vibe you have, what with all the menfolk wanting to protect your honour, flatters... um, flatters their honour!

Here, climb onto my shoulders... yeah, like so. I'll give ya a ride to the jacuzzi, unless you wanna go somewhere else. Hopefully, there won't be too much in the way of head smackin' in doorways and such.

*TWG climbs down at chocky-jacuzzi, remarkably unscathed.* Frees up cozen to give Mai a perhaps-somewhat-longer-than-necessary tender hug.*

*Sets down bottle o'magic booze. Politely asks Molly to perch elsewhere for a moment.*

*Tosses Mai into chocolate filled jacuzzi.*

*Attempts conducting yetis into playing a kazoo version of the vocals behind the opening shot in "Heart Of Gold".*

I love that intro. Just sayin.

***
There a war on?

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 4:17 AM

Quote:
3) In the course of your kidnapping, do not take over critical ship areas, like the Bridge, Main Engineering, or the Captain's nest under the pool table.

TRM-can we add my greenhouse to the list of critical places Cozen needs to avoid? He broke in somehow last time (though I don't know how he got past the impenetrable lock, even I can't get in!!) and made a mess!

"He looked bigger when I couldn't see him."

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 4:38 AM

Jazaf, you're welcome to join us on Sereni-Tree, if you've got nothing better to do. There's plenty of room and we could always use another fighter.

*Serenity and Jazaf head back towards the ship. Jazaf kindly takes out an invaders that try to attack them on the way back.

Serenity climbs back aboard and what does she see? Ath, sitting in the choco-jacuzzi with nearly every female member of the crew.*

Figures, Ath. There's a war on, and you're in the jacuzzi.

*She swings Soul's bow back over her shoulder (she's been carrying it around since she picked it up when he was hit) and heads back outside.*

Well, I am going back outside to see what I can do to help.

"He looked bigger when I couldn't see him."

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 4:54 AM

Cozen, I'm afraid that Bride1, who did have a rather impressive katana, was a casualty in the Escaped FemaleReaver plotline.

But there ARE six other Brides still aboard. None of them use a blade, though perhaps Bride2 would be willing to give it a try.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 5:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:

TRM-can we add my greenhouse to the list of critical places Cozen needs to avoid? He broke in somehow last time (though I don't know how he got past the impenetrable lock, even I can't get in!!) and made a mess!

Well, we have to allow Cozen to get into SOME trouble, or else he'll just turn into an omnipotent star cluster again....

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 5:20 AM

SIMONWHO

*emerges from blue box carrying a handful of equipment*

Right, it seems that Earth-that-is is not exactly friendly so I've come up with a temporary solution.

*wanders around the ship, attaching beacons to the outerhull*

This is a primitive chameleon circuit, designed to allow any ship to blend into the local environment. All I have to do is hook it up to the main power source and from the outside, the ship will look innocuous whereas the inside will remain as normal.

So, here we go...

*activates the device*

Ah. It appears that the most incongruous shape for us is... a treehouse. Hmm.

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 5:56 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:

TRM-can we add my greenhouse to the list of critical places Cozen needs to avoid? He broke in somehow last time (though I don't know how he got past the impenetrable lock, even I can't get in!!) and made a mess!

Well, we have to allow Cozen to get into SOME trouble, or else he'll just turn into an omnipotent star cluster again....

yes, I understand that (and support it, it makes for a good read) but can't he get into trouble in places that don't involve our food supply? Especially since there don't seem to be any functioning grocery stores anywhere nearby.

And that reminds me-
RAT-I still need a key!!

"What's the use of having a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?"-H.D. Thoreau

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Wednesday, June 1, 2005 6:34 AM