USS SereniTREE: A Tale of Two Trees by TheGreyJedi

*EvilSerenityClone comes to, slowly and painfully. Her head feels like it could burst. And she is really, really angry. She whispers a few colorful phrases, fantasizes briefly about the horrible things she will do to DarkStatic when she catches him, then pulls herself to her feet. Behind her, she can hear the battle waging on the bridge between the two Souls. DarkStatic can wait. She has more important things to do right now.

She smoothes her rumpled wings and heads towards the common room, drawing her katanas as she goes.*

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 4:12 PM

XANDERLHARRIS

I understand the reasoning behind the kissies and such but Spam? But it is not my place to question the orders of a superior officer.

*Sees TheRealMe and stands at attention.

Thank you, sir, for the training on the Spam-slinger, sir. I believe that I could be a valuable asset to the Sereni-Tree and I offer to you my life. My purpose on this ship is to protect you and the captain from harm. I request the honor of being your personal guard and protector. Plus I make a mean cup of coffee.

*Salutes hoping to help the cause.

It seems so quiet here. I wonder what is going on the other ship?

Ash aka xanderlharris

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 4:37 PM

EVILATH

Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
Drawing one of his pistols, DarkStatic begins moving through the ship, confident that noone else knows which side he's on.

*As EvilStatic rounds a corner on his way to the common room, Darth Ath knocks the pistol out of ES's hand. Fast as lightning, ES tries to draw his other gun, but Darth Ath pushes him with the Force, smashing him into the wall. ES's pistol spins off to the side.*

"No one knows which side you're on, huh? Fool."

*As ES tries to get back to his feet the hall is bathed in a veridian glow as Darth Ath ignites his lightsaber.*

"I'm afraid I cannot let you interfere with our plans.*

*Darth Ath strides over to EvilStatic and raises his lightsaber for the killing blow. ES manages to roll out of the way, the lightsaber cutting a groove into the deck where ES was moments before.*

"Amusing. But I doubt you can keep this up for long."

*DA raises his lightsaber once more.*

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 4:55 PM

CALLMEATH

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Now, we also could use a way to strengthen our good sides, or weaken our dark sides. I have a theory that the kissies generate fields of happiness around them, in a manner similar to Care Bears, Smurfs, and other such freakish, sickening creatures. That may be useful to our operation, by weakening or blinding our dark sides.

"If you can get Lissa and I together, we'll give you all the kissies you'll ever need!"

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 5:35 PM

JAZAF

'So when do we board their ship?' Jazaf asks.
After witnessing Soul bravely phase through to face-off against his evil side, Jazaf is filling up with energy just waiting to get at his own darker twin.

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 9:06 PM

THEGREYJEDI

*Darth Ath feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns, with a nonplussed expression on his face to see an open palm before his face. A flash of Holy light explodes in his eyeballs, sending him sprawling and crawling to a darker corner while until the light fades. TheWhiteJedi stands before EvilStatic.

ES: What the hell? So summoning up TGJ's shadow brings forth a non-shadow. God, you're weird.

TWJ: Not a shadow. I'm the real deal. Unlike some of you weaker beings, I'm a whole. You want to see my shadow?

*TWJ brings up his lightsaber, igniting the unpenetratably dark blade, creating shadows around the blade where the light would spread from a lightsaber's normal blade. No shadows fall beneath TWJ's feet or across his face. His body is fully illuminated, all shadow being in his blade.*

TWJ: You wanna meet the real me now?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 9:25 PM

BLUEFISHIE

Then are we simply using the actual spam for practice, and saving the armor treet for later TRM?

And what exactly will we be using them for in the first place?

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Thursday, July 7, 2005 10:16 PM

RAT

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
So, Jet, Rat, how long would it take to upgrade the General Grant and the Admiral Nelson with the same hyperspace drives that the General Lee has?

Not long at all. But then we'll have to upgrade the General Lee in some way! It has to remain the superior ship, I couldn't stand it if it weren't!!!

Rat, Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Friday, July 8, 2005 3:12 AM

* TheRealMe whispers to Rat. *

All three shuttles need the shrinking tech, too. Just don't let any of the dark ladies aboard the Sereni-Tree know, or it might get back to the Dark Soul.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, July 8, 2005 3:15 AM

Bluefishie, we are going to use the Armor Treet against our own dark selves. We want to incapacitate them, but keep from doing anything lethal or permanent to them until they can be re-incorporated into us again.

XanderLHarris, uh... We're really not all that formal aboard the Sereni-Tree, but I welcome your help. You're with me, then.

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, July 8, 2005 3:29 AM

* Up in the Hanger Bay on the top floor of the South Wing of the Sereni-Tree, the raiding party is boarding the three shuttles. PsychicRiver is at the main entry hatch of the Hanger Bay, keeping watch for any dark twins. *

Bride5, Bride6, herd those kissies into the Admiral Nelson. I'll be piloting that. Bluefishie and XanderLHarris, you can come with us.

* The meteor troll makes a sound like Chewbacca bawling. *

Yes, you too, Nugget. And the Ebo Golem. Sparky, you stay here.

Rat, you take the General Lee, of course. Take whatever few Windmill Giants and Yeti stayed with us. I think that includes ThatWeirdGirl's dance partners.

Oh, that reminds me. Here, everybody use these ear plugs with encrypted radio transmitters. These are to protect you from the DarkWeirdGirl's powers, if she's there. If you see her, activate their silence feature. Might be the only thing that can save you.

Does everybody have a Spamslinger that wants one? We still have a few katanas to hand out.

* TheRealMe pauses. *

Huh! Who is going to pilot the General Grant?

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Friday, July 8, 2005 3:39 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

The two fighters pause, each breathing heavily.

"It seems that I have underestimated you," Dark Soul says. "I wasn't expecting this much of a fight."

Soul laughs. "You on the other hand are nowhere near what I expected. You're weak."

Dark Soul growls. "Weak, huh? Well, let's see how well you fight when the life of someone you love is at stake!"

With that, Dark Soul lifts his arms, and with a flash of fire and shadow dissapears from the room. A moment later, Soul hears a scream echoing through the ship, the voice one that Soul knows too well.

"Serenity!"

Soul runs for the wall, phasing through it and reappearing on the top of the steps overlooking the common room. By the bar, he sees his shadowed side, his twisted sword held to the neck of Serenity.

"What are you going to do now?" Dark Soul mocks.

Soul smiles, a devious look in his eyes. "This."

Closing his eyes, Soul lets his body relax, and focuses all of his energy through his hands. He let's them phase out of the current plane of reality, and he reaches for the bridge of the true SereniTREE. He knows on the floor there he left his bow and his arrows, and now he pulls them towards him, grabbing his bow and one single arrow, praying that the arrow is armed with the arrowhead he needs. Pulling his hands back, he notches the arrow and takes careful aim as his bow and one arrow phases into existance, pointing at Dark Soul. Opening his eyes again, Soul peers down the arrow shaft and sees that he did indeed grab the arrow he wanted.

"I think it's time you went all crazy and fall asleep," Soul says, and lets the arrow fly.

Dark Soul sees it coming and tries to hide, but the arrow is flying too fast. It misses Serenity's left ear by an inch before digging into Dark Soul's shoulder, spinning him around. He loses his grip on his sword and it goes flying, embedding itself into the far wall.

"Son of a--" Dark Soul shouts, but he is cut off as the arrowhead does it's work. A flash of bliding light errupts from Dark Soul's shoulder where the arrow is embedded, and DS goes limp, dropping to the floor. The room goes silent.

Soul slowly walks down the stairs and across the common room, looking around at the drunk men of the SereniTREE, realizing as he does that these men are the dark sides of the real crew. He ignores them and continues to where his dark side lays on the ground, twitching.

"What did you do to me?" Dark Soul demands.

Soul smiles. "Jut a little muscle relaxer. You were boring me."

Soul lifts the katana and lowers it towards Dark Soul's neck.

"Just do it then!" Dark Soul shouts. "You'll kill us both!"

Soul shakes his head and raises his right hand to the blade of his katana. He slides his palm across the razor-sharp edge, cutting open his hand and letting the blood run down his arm.

"I'm not going to kill you," he says, reaching out with his bleeding hand to place it against the still-bleeding wound on the right side of his dark side's face, "I'm going to embrace you!"

With that, Dark Soul realises what is about to happen, but it's too late. A soft whump is heard, and then a rush of air races through the common room. Dark Soul screams, and Soul joins him as a flurry of light and shadows begins to spin around them. Shards of lightning crash into the room, scattering people as the bolts themselves spear their way into the pair of Dark and Light Souls. Thunder crashes, and between everything, the two Souls are hidden by the display of light and shadow. Finally, with a tremendous roar, the wind and lighning, and light and shadow, explodes outward, throwing everything around the room, and then--

Silence.

Where there had been two only moments before, a single figure stands.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Friday, July 8, 2005 3:57 AM

*The lightning and noise and wind of moments ago suddenly stop, there is nothing but deafening silence. Slowly, tentatively, Serenity raises her head above the bar she had been hiding behind.*

Soul?

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Friday, July 8, 2005 4:21 AM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:
*The lightning and noise and wind of moments ago suddenly stop, there is nothing but deafening silence. Slowly, tentatively, Serenity raises her head above the bar she had been hiding behind.*

Soul?

Soul slowly turns at the sound of Serenity's voice. For a moment, it's as if he doesn't recognize her; but then he smiles and walks over to where she stands.

"It's me," he says. "All of me. It seems my dark side isn't the stronger side after all."

Serenity reaches up slowly and with her finger traces the scar on down the right side of Soul's face, the last visible remnant of his dark side.

"How do I know it's really you?" she asks.

Reaching out, Soul pulls Serenity close and kisses her, the two of them embracing as their lips touch. After a moment, they pull apart, and Soul smiles softly.

"It is you," she whispers.

Soul steps back and spreads his arms, his body shifting momentarily as his bow, quiver, and arrowheads reappear on his body.

"I have to go for a bit. I've got some unfinished business to take care of. I'm sorry for leaving you now, leaving all of you in this time of struggle, but there is something I must do. I will return, that I promise."

With that, Soul raises his head and stares into the ceiling as a display of light and shadow swirls around his body. With a final burst of fire, Soul dissapears, his last words still ringing in the room.

I promise

* * *

(IRL, I'll be in Disney World on vacation for a week. Soul will return when I do. Good luck!!)

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Friday, July 8, 2005 5:08 AM

JAKE7

**jake7 takes in the spectacle before her and, with Soul's last words, realizes what the dreams meant.**

Serenity! Oh my God! I understand the dreams now! Those are OUR darker sides! That's why the dreams seemed so real, they WERE!!

**she is suddenly horror-stricken at another realization**

Our darker selves must be on the SereniTREE!

Soul said something about embracing our darker sides. That may be the only way to get back to the 'TREE...

**A shiver courses down jake7's spine. She gets the feeling that they're being watched and looks around the room at the drunken clones. Alarmed she turns to CallMeSerenity**

Serenity, one of the clones is missing!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Friday, July 8, 2005 5:23 AM

SIMONWHO

On the SereniTREE

twg, it's really tempting but there's a lot going on at the moment and I really should... okay, nibbling, yes I see where you're coming from but...

He gazes into her eyes

I guess it wouldn't do any real harm, would it? Perhaps just for a little while, I could wrap my arms around you. Mmmm. There we go.

She doesn't notice the needle in his hand until it's in her neck. She slumps to the floor unconscious

That's odd, I have this tremendous feeling of deja vu. Come on twg, let's get you to sickbay and find out what's wrong with you.

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Friday, July 8, 2005 6:46 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*Eviltwg nibbles at Simon’s ear. As she makes her move to pin him, she realizes he has stuck her with a needle. Crap.*

----

*twg walks with DarkTRM*

So, you’re doing this to gain favor with your Sith master? Interesting. I never would have guessed that TRM, dark or light, would ever bow to another. Help, work with, yes, but bow…never. How is that working for you? Btw, you have any gum? I could really go for some gum right now, I’ve been unconscious and well, I haven’t brushed my teeth in a while…mint would be preferred but good ol bubble gum is fine. No? Here’s something you don’t know: I have a power I’ve never had to use in the Clubhouse.

*twg looks to a nearby control panel for only a moment, but it was enough…it sparks…TRM doesn’t notice. It should be enough to get things started.*

Did you know I once donated a blood sample to the genome thingy…I hope it was never put to an evil use…

---

*SimonWho straps the cloned twg, with DarkSoul’s hate embedded into her psyche, into a sickbed.*

---

*the spark shorts the deck sensors and com systems. Soon, hull breaches are registered throughout the ship, several decks are now sealed off from the rest of the ship. The ship’s speakers are all blown. No alarms sound, no one can communicate with anyone else. But they don’t know that yet.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Friday, July 8, 2005 7:05 AM

*Serenity watches Soul disappear in a swirl of flame.*

Wow...he really knows how to make an exit, doesn't he? *sigh*

Umm...where was I?..what was that, Jake7? Did you say someth... Tzao-gao!

Oh, I need more coffee!

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Friday, July 8, 2005 9:40 AM

LISSA

*lissa makes lattes for herself and serenity, and tries not to worry about ath too much. as she sips her latte, a voice in her head causes her to spill a few drops*

"lissa...come to me...i need you..."

*the voice sounds like ath, but...wrong. lissa knows it must be his clone, but she finds it hard to resist the familiar sound.*

"lissa...come..."

*lissa focuses on the delicious foaminess of her latte.*

~lissa, spwhore

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Friday, July 8, 2005 9:52 AM

Thanks for the coffee, lissa.

Lissa..you okay?

*lissa nods distractedly. Serenity doesn't have time to worry about it.*

Okay, everyone! Gather round, we've got some important stuff to do.

*She notices another one of the men trying to sneak off, so she clobbers him on the head with her maglight. He falls down unconscious.*

First things first, we've got to deal with these EvilMen. Is there somewhere we can stash them? Does anyone know how to get to the brig?

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Friday, July 8, 2005 9:54 AM

Also, anyone seen TWG in awhile?

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Friday, July 8, 2005 10:25 AM

*Emma screams, she tears at her neck and pulls at her hair*

*She is fully aware of everything happening around her, the evilmen and the disappearance of Dark/Soul and she screams*

*In searing agony she claws her way through Pseudo Sereni-Tree trying to find her beloved ship, every few seconds DarkSouls' device sends spasms of white hot pain through her synapses.*

*There is no dark-side to Emma.*

*There is no good-side to Emma.*

*Emma merely is.*

*There is no Emma on the real Sereni-Tree and the device is trying to tear her in two. She must get to her ship. Is her ship cloned? She screams with every movement to where it should be...*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Friday, July 8, 2005 11:47 AM

SIMONWHO

This is very odd. twg's vitals seem normal, her blood pressure is fine, no sign of any new brain trauma. Could you be brainwashed after your kidnapping? Hmm.

Well, you stay there now. What with the straps and everything you don't have much of a choice but still, stay there. I'm going to the bridge to see if anyone there knows what could be going on.

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Friday, July 8, 2005 12:11 PM

JAZAF

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
[B*the spark shorts the deck sensors and com systems. Soon, hull breaches are registered throughout the ship, several decks are now sealed off from the rest of the ship. The ship’s speakers are all blown. No alarms sound, no one can communicate with anyone else. But they don’t know that yet.*

'Ok people, Let's Move out!' Rat shouts. Rat, the Yetis, the Giants, and the dancers file out of the General Lee. Jazaf exits last, 'C'mon Jazaf or you'll be left behind.' Rat says from over his shoulder.

'Be right there.' Jazaf says absently. His mind already focused on his own task, apprehending his darker side. Jazaf leaves the group and heads down a few hallways. He turns a corner and stops, His eyes go wide. At the other end of the Hall the EvilJazaf grins and brandishes his two katanas.

'Just the weak-minded fool I was looking for.' EJ says, stalking up to Jazaf. 'When I get rid of you I'll finally get the freedom I always yearned for. Then, I'll aid my shadow brethren in beating their counter-parts and once you fools are taken care of No power in the 'verse will be able to contain our might!'

'Your forgeting one thing' Jazaf says, gaining confidence with every second.
'Eh?'
'The part where you fail,' Jazaf rushes toward his dark counterpart.'And I force you to become part of me once again!' Jazaf throws several punches, EJ nimbly dodges them and kicks Jazaf in the stomach. Jazaf slides a few back a few feet, and tries to regain his breath.

'No. No, no, no, no, no.' EJ calmly replies. 'No more compromises, no more treaties, no more alliancies. I will beat you, kill you, and scatter your remains across this 'verse!'

Jazaf springs to his feet and rushes EJ again. Jazaf leaps for the wall and tries to dive over EJ. EJ uses his two katanas and slices at the air above him. Jazaf lands behind EJ and winces in pain. On his back are now twin cuts from EJ's blades. Jazaf shrugs off the pain and stands. Without taking his eyes off his dark-counterpart Jazaf begins to send his energy into his fists.

'You are a fool to face me without a weapon.' EJ taunts.
'A good swordsman knows how to handle himself even when disarmed.'

Jazaf closes the gap between himself and EJ and swings three times for EvilJazaf's chest. EJ easily blocks the swings and smiles at Jazaf. He starts to chuckle when blood fills his mouth and stops his glee cold. Now it's Jazaf's turn to smile as he backs away and kicks towards EJ's head. EvilJazaf manages to block the foot but snaps his head to the side as he feels a sharp pain in his left temple.

Dazed and caught off gaurd EJ shouts at Jazaf, though he's not sure which of the three is really Jazaf. 'What is this?!?!'

'This is the "Armor Piercer". Don't remember this little fun technique? Fine, let me show you!'

Jazaf kicks EJ squarely in the chest. EJ feels the blow go through his ribcage and exit from the spine.

'Looks like our fight won't be nearly as long as I thought it would be.' Jazaf says.

Jazaf stands over his dark-counterpart and says 'This'll only hurt for a second.'

Jazaf clamps his right hand over EJ's chest and reverses his energy flow.
The EvilJazaf feels his life escape him and can only watch as his body shrivels up. The only sound to be heard is Jazaf's howl. The strain nearly forces him to pass out, but he doubles his will to continue. Eventually the only thing below Jazaf is his own shadow.

Jazaf stands, his body shivering from all the energy he took into his body. He makes his way to a bathroom and proceeds to clean himself up when something catches his eye. Turning his head to the side, Jazaf traces a fierce streak of white that ends at the back of his head.

'Well, this should attract some attention.' Jazaf smiles and splashes his face with warm water.

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Friday, July 8, 2005 10:51 PM

*Every time the searing pain kicks in Emma realises she is being transported to the real Sereni-Tree. If only she could find a way of controlling that she could...*

*Excited by her own supreme genius Emma finds her way to her ship which DarkSoul has (stupidly in her not-very-humble opinion) copied rather expertly*

*On board she goes to the science-lab, a place she has not visited since..well...that is another story. She re-programmes the high-energy-lobotomiser to focus on the device at the back of her neck. This is a delicate operation because she is not entirely herself what with the pain and disappearing and all...*

*Lying in the lab-chair she ties herself down and waits for the dreaded device to start the operation. Almost as it starts Emma blacks out from the pain*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Saturday, July 9, 2005 4:32 AM

*** THIS OCCURS ON THE REAL SERENI-TREE BEFORE JAZAF’S MOST RECENT POST ***

* TheRealMe keys his com-link to the other shuttles. *

TheRealMe: This is TheRealMe in the Admiral Nelson to all shuttles! Start your engines!

Jet: This is Bride4 in the General Grant. Are you ready for me to open the Hanger Bay’s main hatch for our departure?

* TheRealMe smiles. *

TheRealMe: No, Jet. We won’t be leaving that way. That’s what they would expect. All pilots, engage Rat’s shrinking technology!

* TheRealMe flips a switch on the control panel. Rat and Jet do the same on their shuttles. All three shuttles shrink down to a rather small size. *

TheRealMe: You know Rat, I’ve been thinking about you wanting the General Lee to remain special. Have you thought of a fancy hood ornament? Perhaps a pair of fuzzy dice to dangle from the rear-view mirror?

* As the three shuttles hover in the Hanger Bay, a small spot of light appears ahead of them. It grows larger, to become a ring of fire surrounding a dark void. Another point of light appears, then another. Soon three dimensional portals remain, suspended in mid-air. *

TheRealMe: We are going through these dimensional portals, which lead to key areas of the False Sereni-Tree. The Admiral will take the leftmost, General Lee center, and General Grant the rightmost. Jet, just before you depart, set our Hanger’s main hatch to open. That will catch the attention of anybody watching. They’ll be waiting for us to depart that way, while we will already be inside the False Sereni-Tree’s. When we arrive, everybody deploy according to the plan.

* The three shuttles enter the holes in reality one by one. As the General Grant, enters, the Hanger Bay’s huge main hatch starts to open. *

Rat’s General Lee flies out into the False Sereni-Tree’s Main Cargo Bay. He lands and the shuttle grows to its normal size. The shuttles’ main hatch opens.

Quote:
Jazaf wrote:
'Ok people, Let's Move out!' Rat shouts. Rat, the Yetis, the Giants, and the dancers file out of the General Lee. Jazaf exits last, 'C'mon Jazaf or you'll be left behind.' Rat says from over his shoulder.

(Note: TWG's dance partners ARE the remaining Yeti.)

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Saturday, July 9, 2005 6:13 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

*twg walks with DarkTRM*

So, you’re doing this to gain favor with your Sith master? Interesting. I never would have guessed that TRM, dark or light, would ever bow to another. Help, work with, yes, but bow…never. How is that working for you? Btw, you have any gum? I could really go for some gum right now, I’ve been unconscious and well, I haven’t brushed my teeth in a while…mint would be preferred but good ol bubble gum is fine. No? Here’s something you don’t know: I have a power I’ve never had to use in the Clubhouse.

*twg looks to a nearby control panel for only a moment, but it was enough…it sparks…TRM doesn’t notice. It should be enough to get things started.*

Did you know I once donated a blood sample to the genome thingy…I hope it was never put to an evil use…

*the spark shorts the deck sensors and com systems. Soon, hull breaches are registered throughout the ship, several decks are now sealed off from the rest of the ship. The ship’s speakers are all blown. No alarms sound, no one can communicate with anyone else. But they don’t know that yet.*

* TheDarkMe scowls at ThatWeirdGirl’s taunts. He well realizes that since TheRealMe is such a nice guy, the power of his dark side, TheDarkMe, is severely limited. He makes to respond, but then stops when the next hatchway fails to open. He turns to ThatWeirdGirl. *

Something’s wrong, I….

* TheDarkMe feels a disturbance in the Force. *

Something is wrong. The Dark Soul has…

* TheDarkMe thinks that ThatWeirdGirl looks too smug. He waves his hand, creating a dimensional portal. *

Change in plan. Through here!

The Dark Me, aka Darth Real

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Saturday, July 9, 2005 6:19 AM

Need a scorecard? So do I! Where folks have an evil twin, I list what it is doing on the same line after the good twin. It seems that the female evils twins (or at least CallMeSerenity’s) can materialize or dematerialize at will from either version of the Sereni-Tree. Sorry if I missed anyone. It includes every poster in this and the previous thread, except Tracy, who is probably off killing kissies in some alternate reality.

TS = True Sereni-Tree
FS = False Sereni-Tree
GL = General Lee Invasion Force, Starting from FS Cargo Bay
GG = General Grant Invasion Force, Starting from Bridge or Engineering
AN = Admiral Nelson Invasion Force; Starting from the Common Room

BlueFishie: AN
Bride2/Deuce: GG
Bride3/Trey: GG
Bride4/Jet: GG
Bride5: AN, herding kissies
Bride6: AN, herding kissies
Bride7: ????
CallMeAth: GG; Evil:Fighting TGJ and EvilStatic on FS
CallMeSerenity: FS Common Room ; Evil: Heading to FS Common w/katanas
Cozen: Kidnapped by TWG, possibly still tied up; Evil: Kept drunk in FS Common?
Ebo Golem: AN
Ebonezer: FS Common Room ; Evil: ????
Emma: In her false ship on FS; Evil:Never separated
Jake7: FS Common Room; Evil: Wandering around TS?
Jazaf: With GL; Some bathroom; Evil: Re-absorbed
Lissa: FS Common Room; Evil: ????
Mal-licious: Old Clubhouse inside TS? ; Evil: ????
Mai: FS Cargo Bay, last seen on previous thread just discovering the ladies were locked inside; Evil: ????
MontanaGirl: FS, last seen helping Emma to Bridge on previous thread; Evil:????
Needleseye: AN
Nugget, meteor troll: AN
Rat: Leading GL; Evil:Kept drunk in FS Common?
Sparky: TS
SimonWho: TS helping DarkWeirdGirl; Evil:Departed FS Infirmary
SoulOfSerenity:“Exited” from FS Common; Evil: Re-absorbed
PsychicRiver: GG ; Evil: Kept drunk in FS Common?
Static: Piloting TS ; Evil: FS, fighting DarkAth
TheGreyJedi: FS, fighting DarkAth; Evil: Never separated
TheRealMe: AN ; Evil:FS, leading TWG somewhere
ThatWeirdGirl: FS, led off by TheDarkMe; Evil: Secured in Infirmary of TS
XanderLHarris: AN

Jayne-clone1: ?
Jayne-clone2: ?
Kaylee-clone: ?
Mal-clone1: Probably with Mal-licious
Mal-clone2: Probably with Mal-licious
River-clone: AN
Simon-clone1: ?
Simon-clone2: ?
Zoe-clone1: GG
Zoe-clone2: GG

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Saturday, July 9, 2005 6:21 AM

* TheRealMe pilots the shrunken Admiral Nelson through the small dimensional portal he created, which he quickly closes behind the shuttle. He sets the Admiral down and deactivates the engines. *

River-clone, gazing in wonder out a portal: Trees as tall as the sky.

Bride6: COOL! Look at those feakin’ tall trees! They’re HUGE! But why don’t they have branches?

TheRealMe: Because those “trees” are supporting the railing of the upper level balcony around the False Sereni-Tree’s common room. We’re still shrunken, remember?

* Nugget makes some sound half-way between growling and choking. *

TheRealMe: Exactly, Nugget! So, are we ready to grow again? Xander, Bluefishie? Bride5, are YOU ready? You have the most dangerous task.

* Bride5 smiles and nods. *

TheRealMe: Uh, Needleseye, are you okay, you look a little... distracted.

Needleseye: I'm fine!

* TheRealMe recalls the final moments of Bride1, and shudders. *

TheRealMe: Needleseye,you realize that we can't cause permanent damage to any of the...

Needleseye: I know!

TheRealMe: Right! Ebo Golem, you stand ready at the kissie cage, just in case.

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Saturday, July 9, 2005 7:19 AM

STATIC

On the False Tree:

DarkStatic grins at TheWhiteJedi and winks, "I'll make a real fighter out of you yet."

Without another word, he shimmers out of existence and materializes...

On the REAL Tree:

DarkStatic appears in front of his counterpart and grabs him. "Come on!!!!" Together, they shimmer out of existence and re-materialize. . .

On the False Treee:

The two Statics race through the corridors of the SerenitTREE's 'dark version'. The sounds of fighting can be heard everywhere, but they are singular in their purpose. Somewhere, The Dark version of "The Real Me" has an ass-whipping coming to him. . .and Static's beloved has a daring rescue long overdue. As they run, DarkStatic 'briefs' Static.

"You know you can't kill any of them, right? Killing them would render their other halves as good as dead, if not altogether dead."

Static nods grimly and checks the load on his pistols. "I'll think of something."

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 6:03 AM

on the pseudoTREE, common room

*The EvilMen are beginning to wake up. Lissa and Serenity hand out bloody marys, mimosas and irish coffees to the men while Jake7 puts the "spank me" scene from Holy Grail on for the men to watch. They are soon coddled back into drunken stupors.*

Okay ladies, gather around. I hope you don't mind me speechifying for the moment, but as Ebo is napping under the pool table, someone's got to step up, right?

So, just so we're all clear, this is what we know:
I)We're on a ship designed to look JUST like the real SereniTREE.
II) We've been kidnapped, but we're not entirely sure why. Also, Needleseye was NOT kidnapped, nor any of the clones, for more reasons unknown.
III) There may be evil versions of ourselves, if there are evil versions of the men. We think they may be on the real TREE, but we're not sure. There's not a whole lot we can do about that at the moment.
IV) Evil versions of our menfolk were sent to us, for another unknown reason. We have managed to keep them all drunk and under control for the moment BUT...

a)EvilAth, TheEvilMe, EvilSimonWho and EvilJazaf are loose somewhere. This could be a problem, as the real Jazaf is quite a mystery. All I know is that he is very skilled in using those katanas of his.
b) We can't kill the men. As we just witnessed with Soul, they have to get back together with their good halves. If we kill them (as tempting as this might be right now) *she looks pointedly at EvilRat who is trying to relieve himself in one of the potted plants. Mai runs over to him and leads him away to the bathroom*
If we kill them, the good half will also die, or something like that. So, no killing! *several girls look disappointed.*
c)TWG is missing. She's very good at being a DID, securing a daring rescue from the menfolk and avoiding all harm, so we're not TOO concerned, but with all the evils lurking around, this could be a another problem.
d)Now that I think of it,where's Emma? Has she fainted again?

*EvilCozen disturbs everyone by retching into a wastebasket. MontanaGirl hands him another bloody mary. *

MG: Here Cozen, this will make you feel better!

CMS: So, this is open for discussion, of course, but I suggest that we:
1) Herd the men somewhere we can keep them contained. Mai, you know the ship the best, can you lead us to the brig? Will it hold them? Can we rig a video monitor to play naughty clips for them to keep them occupied?
2) then we break up into groups and search for the missing people. No one should be left alone, it's too perilous.
5) ("Three, sir!" From Lissa) I'm sorry, Python's on...
3) When everyone's together, we figure a way to find our menfolk, get them together with their evil halves, deal with our evil halves (if they exist) and then get OFF this go-se ship. Because I don't know about you, but I am tired of this game.

Now, any comments, suggestions...anything?

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 6:50 AM

*Emma rouses from her experimental operation and untying her restraints becomes somewhat worried by the large amount of blood splattered around the room. She checks her neck which appears to be in one place and heads to the fridge.*

Hmmmm, Crunchie bars, yummy

*Eating the Crunchie bar Emma reflects upon the dodgy situation she is in and decides to attempt her plan. If, as a non-detached person she can transport herself between her two ships then she may be able to affect the reality of the two Sereni-Trees as she is sure DarkSoul could not have affected the functions of her beautiful spherical ship of joyous joyness.*

Ok, Emma, if I just reconnect the transmodifiers to the interspacial reflux-charge I should be able to jump to my other ship. Ooooh, I do hope this means I have two now. I wonder how much I could sell one for? Rat could help me I am sure...

*Emma reconnects everything and.... whoosh*

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 7:51 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

*twg roughly falls to her knees as TheDarkMe pushes her through his portal.*

Ooh, big deal. You can move throughout the ship, how nice…but no one else can.

*TheDarkMe kicks her shin, just for the dark fun of it, as she stands to face him*

There’s more than sealed bulkheads in store for you and your plans. Much more. In fact….

*twg lunges at TheDarkMe, hitting him square in the chest with her hard head. Surprised at her bold and stupid moves, TDM stumbles momentarily, just enough to allow twg to kick the side of his knee *crack* he buckles and falls to the floor. twg spins round, limping with her own knee injury, standing directly in front of a small panel…TDM lifts his saber to knock twg unconscious. She falls to floor just before he strikes, crashing though the panel and exposing all the wires within. That’s all she needed. Once again she concentrates on the exposed sizzling bits of coax…sending a fatal error straight to Grey’s delicate drive…TDM hits the laughing twg in the back of the head, knocking her out.*

-----

*The DarkCloneEviltwg person slowly regains awareness. She is alone.*

That doctor is more cunning than I thought. No worries.

*Thinking she had all the powers of twg, she wills the tray of implements to fall to the floor….nothing…she tries again….nothing. Why doesn’t she have twg powers?*

But I AM HER! I don’t understand. Why isn’t this working? I…I…I’m not her. I must be some crappy clone or golem of her…@#%&!!!!!!

*She remains strapped to the table.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 2:26 PM

COZEN

* SimonWho’s Blue Box begins to quiver. Hinges emit a tiny squeal as the door opens by a fraction of its arc. Were there be anyone nearby to listen, they would hear from within the Box a series of metallic scuttling noises. A few silvery insects emerge via the small gap. Presently, more insects emerge. *

* With a sudden lurch, the door swings fully open, releasing a flood of metallic cockroaches. Hundreds, then thousands of the insects flow from the Box into Sereni-Tree, their tiny metal legs clicking upon the metal floor. Altogether, the sound made by this horde is oddly like that made by an ocean’s waves spilling onto a rocky shore. *

* A legion of roaches tumbles off a human form staggering out of the Box. They cascade off the body in much the same way stone chips fly from a sculptor’s chisel, revealing the cozenlike identity of the Infinite Goof. *

* For IG is what remains when Evilcozen is stripped away from the whole. *

* IG smells an armpit. *

Eww! I need a saltpetre bath with my rubber duckywucky. And, if I’m lucky, when I’m done I won’t be so yucky!

Well, guys, sez IG to the milling throng of roaches, ya got yer programming, what’re y’all waitin’ on?

* IG claps his hands. 1,640,000 roaches assemble into parade formation and proceed to skitter out, headed for the airlock. Soon thereafter, relying on solar power and the collective thrust from their tiny attitude thrusters, the insect army soars to the alterTree. *

* IG attempts a somersault, but cronks it and breaks his wrist on landing. *

Ow. Yeah, I know it’s ugly, and it’s gonna require a wee sacrifice to ickyness, but if these little fellers can’t herd the good womenfolk and the evilfolk off that ship and on to this one, well, who can, eh? But, we all do have to get together now, don’t we?

We do.
________________________________
(With apologies to Tom Robbins).

***
Plot resolutions hastened, reasonable rates.

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 5:27 PM

MAI

Hahahahahaha....... oh what fools they are EviMai cackles. Its taken them long enough to catch on. At last, now that all the other evil shadows have emerged I can finally show my self. Its been HELL pretending to be that sappy, goody-two shoes, Mai all this time.

*A shushed banging sound is heard coming from a nearby super secret hidey hole in the cargo bay of the pseudotree*

*Mai screams. LET ME OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE PLEASE!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!*

HUSH! YOu stupid girl or you won't live to make it back to real tree so that i can kill you...errr let you free as i have promised.

*Mai goes silent, knowing that screaming is only wasting her energy. Ok, time to focus. What I know. I've been stuck in some godforsaken place ever since... geez..i don't know even know. Time has gone by so slowly. Everything will be ok. It has to be ok. EviMai will become careless and if what she says about the emergence of the other Shadows is true surely someone will figure out that things have been going very wrong for quite some time.

*Having spent so many days cooped up in this dark space Mai has discovered her hidden supernatural talent. Sitting on the floor cross-legged, breathing deeply she pictures a flame in her mind. Suddenly a small glow appears from the tips of her fingers and begins to grow into several half-dollar sized bubbles which quickly join together and illumintate the hidey hole*

Well now. Isn't that interesting? Perhaps if I keep practicing I can somehow temporarily blind EviMai when she next opens the hatch door. Yes, and while she is blinded I will sneak out and try to reach out to the others without being seen. Either that or I'll die a terrible not-death right here in this putrid little hole.

*EviMai acting as Mai (and oh how good she is at acting) listens intently on the plan to get the evilmen put away somewhere*

Hey that's a fantastic idea. You all go and search for the missing and I'll just herd the menfolk up the brig. I'll even put a group of insane-guard mops at the door just in case they try to break out. Sound good? Yea. I thought so too. (Little do these peons know that the IGM are evil as well... hahahahahahahahahahah... Oh what fun).

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 5:36 PM

THEGREYJEDI

*walks up to the bar, lightsaber clasped at his hip, EvilAth tied up right good and tossed over one shoulder, snow white jedi robes and luminescent white wings in a relaxed position, and dumps EA in a reasonably comfortable chair, awaiting his return to consciousness. He reaches across the bar and grabs a pint glass, immediately pouring himself a full pint of fresh from the tap Guiness Extra Stout. Turns with is back to the bar and drinks deeply from the refreshing black drink. Smiles.*

Bad, evil, naughty Zoot.

*Grins darkly, speaking rather Britishly.*

Hello, ladies. Play time already?

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 10:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
*twg roughly falls to her knees as TheDarkMe pushes her through his portal.*

Ooh, big deal. You can move throughout the ship, how nice…but no one else can.

*TheDarkMe kicks her shin, just for the dark fun of it, as she stands to face him*

There’s more than sealed bulkheads in store for you and your plans. Much more. In fact….

*twg lunges at TheDarkMe, hitting him square in the chest with her hard head. Surprised at her bold and stupid moves, TDM stumbles momentarily, just enough to allow twg to kick the side of his knee *crack* he buckles and falls to the floor. twg spins round, limping with her own knee injury, standing directly in front of a small panel…TDM lifts his saber to knock twg unconscious. She falls to floor just before he strikes, crashing though the panel and exposing all the wires within. That’s all she needed. Once again she concentrates on the exposed sizzling bits of coax…sending a fatal error straight to Grey’s delicate drive…TDM hits the laughing twg in the back of the head, knocking her out.*

* Alarms blare as TheDarkMe realizes with shock that ThatWeirdGirl has tricked him into helping her completely disable the False Sereni-Tree! He is grumbling to himself as he picks up TWG and slings her over his shoulder. Suddenly, he senses that his Master, Darth Ath, is in trouble.*

Oh, well, time for another change in plan.

* TheDarkMe forms another portal and limps through it with ThatWeirdGirl. *

TheDarkMe, aka Darth Real

(Huh! TheRealMe doesn't think that even his DARK side would kick TWG for fun! Damn, Static is going to be mad!)

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Sunday, July 10, 2005 11:19 PM

SIMONWHO

*switches on the ship's intercom*

Okay, I've finished examining twg and need to ensure everybody knows the situation. The creature lying in sickbay, lovely though she is to look at, isn't the twg that we know and love. She is, instead, a personification of the dark side of the original. All the faults, dark thoughts and misdemeanours personified into human form. However, this is just a projection, albeit solid and free thinking. If the original twg can come into contact with the copy, she should be able to subsume the clone back into her mind and out of existence. The same goes for everyone else's copies.

*switches off the intercom*

So, you wouldn't happen to know where your better half is, would you? Ah but you don't want to tell me. Unfortunately, I have to know and so I'll afraid I need to use some unauthorised methods to do so.

*removes twg's shoes and produces a feather*

Any time you want to co-operate, you just let me know.

*tickle tickle*

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:48 AM

* A spot of light flares into existence in the False Sereni-Tree’s common room, directly under TheBrightJedi. It opens into a dimensional portal and TheBrightJedi, startled, falls into it. The dimensional portal snaps shut, almost severing something vital on TheBrightJedi. A second dimensional portal opens into the common room, and TheDarkMe limps out, carrying ThatWeirdGirl over his shoulder and absently rubbing his sore chest. TheDarkMe observes the ladies of the Sereni-Tree, the drunken evil twins of the men being hypnotized by Monty Python, and his own master, Darth Ath who is still tied up. He grins evilly. *

Huh! Situation looks a little grave. Good thing I happened by. We must move quickly, my Master, before the return of TheBrightJedi. My ploy will not occupy him for long!

* With a wave, TheDarkMe undoes the bonds around Darth Ath. With another wave, TheDarkMe purges the alcohol from the systems of the formerly-drunken evil twins. The suddenly sober evil men snicker… evilly… as they stand. It is the EvilRat, EvilCozen, and EvilPsychicRiver. *

Master, the Dark Soul is no longer in our way! It falls to US to rule in his place, as is our right! But first… Uh… We sort of need another ship. This one is trashed, engines completely disabled. And I sense convergences upon this place. The unified Static, TheBrightJedi, my own good twin, The Rat, The Brides, some person so mysterious I cannot name him, and.. uh… lots of bugs.

Lots.

* TheDarkMe drops ThatWeirdGirl to the deck and goes to one knee before Darth Ath. *

What is your command, my Masssster?

TheDarkMe, aka Darth Real

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:50 AM

Why, HELLO there!

* From the door to the East Wing, an exceptionally beautiful woman enters the Common Room of the False Sereni-Tree, where Lissa, Ebo, Serenity, Jake7 and (the secretly EVIL) Mai are being menaced by Darth Ath, Darth Real, EvilCozen, EvilRat, and EvilPsychicRiver. ThatWeirdGirl is unconscious on the floor. *

* The newcomer is a vision of loveliness, from her dark oriental eyes and the high cheekbones of her perfectly formed face, down the ample curves of her body (which her skin-tight red formal gown does little to conceal), to her delicate feet in high heels. She laughs and tosses her head, causing her long straight black hair to dance down her back like a shower of silk. *

* As she glides forward in a well-practiced walk, she subtly and gracefully maneuvers her rather exceptional assets in such a way as to attract the notice of any male. *

* Being male, the dark twins notice. *

* Intently. *

* It is Bride5. *

* As she passes EvilCozen, her hand reaches up to gently stroke his chin. He seems incapacitated for a moment as she smiles and winks. She walks past him and the others until she is in an open area of the common room, between the pool table and the entrance to the water park. She turns around to face the dark twins. Her shining crimson lips pout, and she holds her hands out for her wrists to be manacled. She purrs: *

We could NEVER hope to beat you big, strong men! I surrender.

* With a smile and a wink, she whispers: *

Please, be gentle with me.

* As one, the dark twins crowd around their new captive. *

Oh, wait just a sec, please!

* Bride5 reaches up with a small device, unnoticed until that moment. It fires a grapple line up into the ceiling of the common room. She is jerked upward with great speed as the device reels her in. *

TheRealMe: Fire at will!

* From their positions along an arc of both balconies, the members of the assault team from the Admiral Nelson open fire upon their foes below them. The Spam-like Armor Treet rains down upon upon the tightly clumped evil twins, who had been lured to a spot with no cover and away from the "good" twins. For a time, Darth Ath and Darth Real use their lightsabers to parry the meat-like globs, sending the stench of burned Spam throughout the area. Then River-clone laughs as she shoots the lightsabers out of the hands of the Sithy pair with mathematically precise shots.*

* But before the evil twins can be overcome, the Armor Treet stops having any effect, being knocked aside before it can impact any of them. A figure stands, smiling, wearing a lab coat and tiny spectacles. *

TheRealMe: No! The Insidious Doctor Rat has modified his Spam Blockers to work against Armor Treet! Huh! Then I guess it’s time for Plan B!

* TheRealMe begins to quickly formulate Plan B. *

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:53 AM

TheRealMe: Ebo Golem! Unleash the kissies!

* With that, TheRealMe brandishes one of Cozen’s katanas and leaps down into the common room of the False Sereni-Tree from the lower balcony. *

* TheDarkMe grins and reaches out. His lightsaber flies into his hand. *

TheDarkMe: Bring it on, you simpering dullard!

TheRealMe: “Simpering dullard?” Huh! Could some part of me really write that dialogue?

* TheRealMe manages a lucky slash against his foe’s arm. TheDarkMe’s lightsaber falls to the ground. *

TheDarkMe: OW!

* TheRealMe drops his katana and holds his own right arm. *

TheRealMe: OW! Okay, so what happens to you, happens to me as well, so…

* Enraged, TheDarkMe reaches out with his left hand, attempting to open a dimensional portal into open space underneath TheRealMe. TheRealMe counters using his own powers. In a dazzling show of bright lights and dark voids, space and time are warped around the pair as each seeks an advantage over the other. *

* Suddenly, there is a bright flash of light and both TheRealMe and TheDarkMe are gone! *

* Nugget the meteor troll lets go a forlorn howl. *

* Meanwhile, thousands of kissies pour down into the common room from the stairs to the balconies, their free and unconditional affection causing a reaction from the evil twins. *

* And Static, Rat, Jet, TheBrightJedi, Jazaf, and innumerable Cozenroaches are on their way, though they'll have to get through the hatches that TWG jammed shut. *

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Monday, July 11, 2005 3:07 AM

THEGREYJEDI

*TheWhiteJedi floats in interdimensional darkness, lotus position, with a less than entertained expression on his face. He "stands" and ignites his lightsaber, the dark blade lost in the darkness around him. He cuts into the fabric of the interspace.*

On the Adelai Niska: *A tear in space time emerges from nowhere where TWJ had been sitting and drinking his Guinnes. A pitch black lightsaber blade cuts to the floor and TWJ walks in. He snarls at Darth Real, extended canines showing, his eyes shining with brilliant white light, the wings at his back fully extended, he brings his lightsaber up to a defensive position.*

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Monday, July 11, 2005 4:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
...he brings his lightsaber up to a defensive position.*

...only to find that Darth Real aka TheDarkMe is nowhere to be seen (having just disappeared, final confrontation-style, with his counterpart, TheRealMe). But Darth Ath seems to be free again, and there are a number of evil twins as well...

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Monday, July 11, 2005 6:31 AM