USS SereniTREE: A Tale of Two Trees by TheGreyJedi

*Calmly force-grabs his lightsaber and sits back down at the bar, reclaiming his pint.*

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:29 PM

MAI

Rats! YOU blasted kids and you're infestation of disgustingly cute kissies!!!! Katanas I can deal with warm and fuzzies not so much.

*EviMai crouches down trying to avoid the icky kissy thing and prepares to pounce on Serenity. Suddenly she feels very weak and light-headed. As though somehow every bit of energy is being slowly drained out her body.*

In her small hidey hole, Mai has managed to produce a light bright enough to see the entire walls and floor. Not quite as small as she first thought... Hmmm maybe theres another way out here. Begins examining the ceiling and finds a strange red button directly in the middle of the tiles...

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:39 PM

JAZAF

Still shaking from absorbing his darker half Jazaf tries to take a slow look around.
'OK. So According to my map I should be five floors above the common room. If I take..'

Security Doors slam shut all around him.
'damn......'
Jazaf paces the small space he has and gets and idea.

'Hope this works.'
Jazaf grabs one of the katanas his darker half had and focuses his energy into it. The katana grows several inches and the blade shines white. Jazaf plunges the weapon downward, smoke rises as the blade burns and melts through the floor. He cuts a circle around himself then pulls the katana free.
Nothing happens.'Gorramit!' Jazaf stomps his foot on the floor and hears groaning metal.
'Uh Oh.'
The floor gives way and Jazaf falls to the floor below.
'whoa....That was awesome!!!!' encouraged by the success Jazaf begins to cut his way to the common room.

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Monday, July 11, 2005 12:47 PM

COZEN

The roach swarm: 400,000 or so become victims of mechanical failure or are destroyed by tiny meteorite strikes. Another 200,000 are wiped out by dimensional portal and other phasing activity. Thus about a million insects land upon the hull of the darkTree. Here, they are trumped by the ship's various electrical failures, therefore unable to over-ride entry systems.

These events were anticipated.

Most of the roaches begin patiently eating away at the metal around the entryways. The remainder use the metal to replicate more of themselves, replenishing their numbers. The new units automatically join in with the entry effort. This army will not need to create very large holes.

The roaches progress rapidly. Soon, soon, the insect army will gain entry to the darkTree.

Stage One nearly complete.

***
I got them resolution blues....

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Monday, July 11, 2005 5:35 PM

MAI

*Mai pushes the red button warily. There is no sound, but the faux metal tiles of the ceiling begin to retract. FINALLY! A Way Out! As the tiles disappear a wooden second ceiling is revealed. Mai begins to push and pull at every board hoping there is a escape latch somewhere. After nearly 20 minutes of searching every nook and cranny she finds...nothing. DAMN! Very frustrated Mai sits down to think some more. As she forces her self to relax and focus the light begins to shine from her fingers once again. Suddenly she feels a surge of energy pulse through her entire body. Her thinking becomes crystal clear and the answer appears as though written on a map before her. IT IS a map. She takes out the holo-flexi map thingy and activates the program.

Position : Pseudo TREE Cargo Bay: Super Secret Hidey Hole

Surroundings: 5.23 feet above the Extremely WELL HIDDEN GRATE COVERED TUNNEL that leads to upper decks.

Exits: Location: Panel slide directly underneath Green House. Also See Trap door located behind BROOM CLOSET.

*Mai turns up the power on her light (How cool is that?!) and searches the floor. She finds yet a Green button and pushes it. The floor opens leaving only a few inches of ledge to stand on. Squatting down, she gets on her stomach and begins to wiggle her way through the crawl space.

Well, here goes nothing lets hope that map was right.

*Just as she pulls her feet through the hole the floor snaps back into place above her. Guiding her self with her inner flashlight she makes it nearly 35 feet through the tunnel. Ahead of her she spots some smallish round yellow things bouncing up and down. Its a kissie! The kissie rushes toward Mai and plants a kiss on her forhead. It doesn't speak, but makes strange beeping sounds indicating she should follow it around the next turn.*

I hope you know where you're going little kissie thingy. I'm startin' to feel a might claustraphobic.

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Monday, July 11, 2005 5:57 PM

* Bride5 and Bride6 stand on the lower balcony overlooking the False Sereni-Tree’s common room. Their hands are cupped to their mouths, and they are making cooing and kissing noises, thereby directing the numerous trained kissies below. The kissies chase after and swarm the remaining evil twins, one by one, though the battle is far from over. Mostly they are a distraction, and by this time many have been slain by the cruel evil twins. Bride6 turns to Bride5. *

Bride6: You know, I’m pretty enough to have done the distraction thing instead of you!

Bride5: Pretty enough? Maybe. But it took smarts, too!

* Bride6 sticks out her tongue at Bride5. *

* After seeing the effectiveness of the Spam Blockers of the Insidious Doctor Rat, the River-clone is attempting a quick redesign of the Spam-slinging guns. But she is not TheGreyJedi, and so needs more than a hairpin and a wad of chewing gum to accomplish this task in a timely manner. *

* Nugget the meteor troll dashes madly down stairs to try to get to the last known location of his friend, TheRealMe. *

* Needleseye stares down into the common room, white-knuckled hands gripping the railing. The pupils of her eyes become slitted. Her skin acquires scales. *

* All but forgotten, the Ebo Golem stands, hand still on the cage door controls, awaiting a new command in the still-shrunken Admiral Nelson parked on the upper balcony. *

* Bluefishie and Ash/XanderLHarris can, of course, take any action that seems reasonable to them amidst this madness. *

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Monday, July 11, 2005 5:58 PM

Meanwhile, Bride2 (Deuce), Bride3 (Trey), and Bride4 (Jet) are outside the hatch to Main Engineering. Jet is working on the locking mechanism.

Deuce: Hey, where are the others who came with on the General Grant? Weren’t they right behind us?

Jet: Oh, I sent them off to secure the other levels of the ship and to help in the common room. I didn’t think we’d need’em. This is a straightforward job.

Deuce: Are you nuts? We’re supposed to secure Main Engineering!

Jet: Well, I said it was a straightforward job, not an easy one.

Deuce: Humph!

* Trey stands at the ready with a Spam-slinger. Deuce tightens her grip on her pair of katanas, and glances left and right. *

Deuce: Sheesh! Can you hurry up? We’re all in the open out here!

Jet: Hey, YOU want to try this? The ship access system is gone to hell. Been sabotaged some how.

Trey: Still, it might be worth considering…

* At that moment, with a triumphant smile, Jet keys a button and the hatch grinds open, allowing the women access to Main Engineering. Trey and Deuce jump inside, weapons at the ready. *

Trey: Looks deserted.

Deuce: Crap! I wanted to get a little fighting action in!

Trey: What’s next, Jet?

* Jet enters Main Engineering behind her companions. *

Jet: Next, I work just as hard from THIS side to CLOSE it.

* Deuce and Trey sigh. Deuce looks around Main Engineering while Jet is focused on the door mechanism. *

Deuce:Uh, Jet?

Jet: Mmmmm?

Deuce:Jet, should all those red lights be flashing like that on the big thing.

Jet: What big thing?

* Frustrated, Deuce moves over to Jet and turns her head so that she faces the impressive scene. Jet’s eyes widen and she turns even paler than normal. She drops her tools. *

Jet: Oh, the “big thing” is the main fusion plant…

Trey: Which is important BECAUSE…????

Jet: Because it’s about to explode!

* The three women are frozen in place for a moment. *

Trey: Don’t bother locking the door again, Jet.

* The three women bolt and run from Main Engineering. *

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Monday, July 11, 2005 6:49 PM

COZEN

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
*Mai pushes the red button warily. There is no sound, but the faux metal tiles of the ceiling begin to retract. FINALLY! A Way Out!

* An unexpected breakthrough. 2.4 million (and counting) metallic cockroaches immediately cease gnawing on the hull, and stream INto the darkTreeship*

Hieing down walls, they amass in the boiler room.*

The herding begins from here.

***
Icky is as Icky does.

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Monday, July 11, 2005 7:02 PM

BLUEFISHIE

Bluefishie watches the sea of kisses with some reserve, waiting for another chance to get in on the action.

w00t xander

"Need any help with that River-clone, any assistance is offered from here."

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Monday, July 11, 2005 7:49 PM

CALLMEATH

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Deuce: Hey, where are the others who came with on the General Grant? Weren’t they right behind us?

Jet: Oh, I sent them off to secure the other levels of the ship and to help in the common room. I didn’t think we’d need’em. This is a straightforward job.

*As part of the General Grant Invasion Force, Ath makes his way to the common room. Knowing he can't kill any of the evil twins, lest he kill their good side as well, Ath is armed with a truncheon and a Spam Gun. Expecting an assault, Ath brought along some C4 and detonaters. With these he slowly makes his way to the common room.*

*Ath enters the common room to find it in chaos. Kissies are being killed everywhere, Spam is covering most of the walls.*

Lissa! Where are you?!

*Ath's shout catches the attention of Evil Serenity, who immediately charges at Ath, weilding her twin katanas. Ath cooly fires his Spam Gun, but it has no effect on ES."

Crap...

*Ath drops his gun and raises his truncheon just in time to block ES's strike. He ducks her next blow, then tries to sweep her feet. Serenity laughs and spreads her wings, hovering a few inches above the ground. Evil Serenity continues her assault, driving Ath back. All of a sudden, Ath gets a shocked look on his face.*

Is that..Orlando Bloom?

*As ES spins around to see, Ath clubs her on the back of the head. Evil Serenity drops like a stone. (Is this 3 times now? Poor ES. Always getting concussed. Just like Giles.)*

*Ath bends down and grabs ES's katanas, tucking them into his belt as he runs into the common room, looking for his darling Lissa.*

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Monday, July 11, 2005 8:21 PM

* River-clone gladly accepts help from Bluefishie. She decides that increasing the spin of the Armor Treet blob as it exits the muzzle of the spamgun will have the desired effect. But suddenly, River-clone stops all movement and sadly stares straight into Bluefishie’s eyes. *

River-clone: It’s not like they wanted to go out to lunch. Or to be it.

* River-clone’s eyes then focus on the nearby Needleseye. *

* Suddenly quite scaley and dark eyed, Needleseye rips off her clothing. Her lower limbs have become finned, tentacle-like appendages. She begins to mouth indistinguishable words full of sub-sonics, which soon becomes a heavy rolling sound that vibrates throughout the False Sereni-Tree. *

* Unable to restrain herself any longer, Needleseye slithers over the railing and leaps down into a sea of swirling kissies. She grabs several kissies, one in each of her tentacles. Needleseye's song takes on a piercing pitch and the kissies begin to bleed from all their orifices. The last note of the song, clear and perfect, shatters the kissies’ heads, and rings in the ears of everyone else in the common room. *

* Needleseye licks the stumps that were the kissies’ necks. She gleefully samples first one, then another. When those are finished, she grabs some more. The remaining kissies scatter in terror, no longer under the control of Bride5 and Bride6. *

Needleseye: Mmmmm... Tastes like chicken!

* Bride6 gapes in horror. *

* Bride5 pulls out a com-link. *

Bride5: Ath? Can you hear me? This is Bride5. See if you can make your way to the common room. Lissa is here. We’re going to need you to make more kissies!

* Bride6 points down into the common room. *

Bride6: There’s Ath now! He just smacked Serenity upside the head!

NOTE: This scene was authorized by Needleseye (sorta).

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Monday, July 11, 2005 9:05 PM

BLUEFISHIE

Quote:
River-clone: It’s not like they wanted to go out to lunch. Or to be it.

*Blue is confused at the statement, until Needleseye goes bonkers on the poor innocent kissies*

Bluefishie: Oh my goodness. What happened?!?

*Blue simply puts her hands over her mouth and watches the carnage with big eyes*

Bluefishie: I was just getting used to them too...

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Monday, July 11, 2005 10:54 PM

RAT

*Rat feels something weird in his pocket, but ignores it.*

Rat, Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 5:29 AM

EMMA

*Emma keeps trying to transport to her real spaceship. Upon failing for the zillioth time she does some magical jiggerypokery on her scanners (which is far too complicated to explain) and has an idea...reverse the tachyon flow. A-ha! Of course, that always works in such circumstances.

She flicks the conveniently named 'reverse tachyon flow' switch and bingo...RAT appears on her ship.*

What the hell are you doing here? RAT immediately looks bemused and then attempts to tie Emma to any available surface to test her evilness level.

extremely dimensionally transcendental

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 6:35 AM

LISSA

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Bride5: Ath? Can you hear me? This is Bride5. See if you can make your way to the common room. Lissa is here. We’re going to need you to make more kissies!

* Bride6 points down into the common room. *

Bride6: There’s Ath now! He just smacked Serenity upside the head!

*Lissa, hidden behind the bar, watches the kissie carnage in horror. She remembers making those kissies, and their deaths sadden her...especially because she doesn't know where her dear Ath is, so they can't make more.*

"Lissa..."

*Lissa turns around, and Ath is standing behind her, looking quite heroic after the brave assault on his sister's head. Lissa smiles.*

Ath! You know...it's nice and...private...behind the bar, here.

*KISSIE ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

~lissa, spwhore

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 6:02 PM

* Needleseye, back in a more human shape, is licking her fingers when the new kissies appear, spilling out from behind the bar. *

Oh, no thanks! I'm stuffed! Couldn't eat another bite!

* Up on the balcony, Bride6 faints. *

NOTE: Needleseye in no way authorized THIS scene.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 7:39 PM

JAZAF

Above the common room, a searing white hot blade cuts a circle in the ceiling. Jazaf kicks the circle free and sticks his head through to survey the scene.

Jazaf's jaw drops as he sees the carnage below him. Dozens of mangled and utterly destroyed kissies litter the ground as the evil twins (Jazaf can only assume)are eventually backed into a corner.

'I think I'll sit this fight out. Looks a bit to off the wall at the moment for me to help.'

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005 9:11 PM

MAI

*As they round the corner, outraged voices and screams of horror can be heard. The kissie stops dead in its tracks. Mai notices they have finally come upon another vent next to the cabinets in the common room. Picking up the now shaking kissie Mai peers through the slats. What she sees makes her sick to her stomach and panic begins to set in.*

*Turning around and maunevering onto her back, Mai scoots slightly back and kicks the vent with all her might. The panel clatters to floor and Mai and the little kissie jump to the ground landing a mere few feet behind the EviMai.*

YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY YOU STUPID WENCH!

*EviMai spins around weakly losing more energy by the moment. She attempts to lunge forward. As her hand comes up to close around her better halfs throat she stops short staring at Mai as she raises her hands palm out and a strange but very strong light begins to emit from her fingers. "Seein' as I had a lot of free time in that little hole of yours I've discovered a handly little talent."

The light grows stronger, but does not affect anyone in the room except for EviMai. As the light hits her eyes she drops to her knees and curls into a ball. PLEAsE MAKE IT STOP! DEAR GOD IM GOING BLIND!

"Oh I'll make it stop all right."

*The light begins to shrink and focus into ten small beams connecting from Mai's fingertips to those of EviMai. The cords of light begin too draw EviMai face to face with Mai and for a moment she appears to flicker and then walk through Mai like a ghost. As the shadowy figure fades she simply melts into Mai.*

Huh... interesting. Oh hey guys I'm back! What did I miss?

*Mai immediately goes pale and slumps to floor as the light from her hands disappears once more.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 6:10 AM

Mai!

*Serenity, hiding behind the big couch with several of the other girls, sees Mai confront the EvilMaiClone, watches in amazement at her new fire power, and then gasps in horror as she slumps to the floor.*

MG, Jake7! Help me grab Mai!

*The three women run out and grab Mai, half dragging, half carrying her back behind the couch.*

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 6:32 AM

Woohoo! (Finally, I reached the bottom of the threads!! Sorry guys, my pc broke!)

*Comes hovering into the common room on the fake tree to see his evil twin attacking MG*

*Wags finger* Tut-tut! Now that is very naughty of you!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 7:35 AM

*Evil PR leaves MG alone and rushes at the good and lovely PR.*

*An epic fight ensues and a few telekinetic tassles later they stop, hovering about two metres from each other in a fighting stance.*

Evil PR: You know, I'm sensing that you're not quite in the game young man. It's time to up the stakes!!

*Evil PR then does two things that you should NEVER EVER do unless to want PR to stuff you with popcorn seeds and then put you in the microwave.

*

*#1 He soars up the balcony, and kicks the River-clone off the balcony and she falls to the floor below, her fall only broken by a pile of SPAM.
#2 Then EvilPR swoops down next to the good PR, who is in shock at the sight of poor River-clone and whispers in his ear. He whispered a spoiler for Serenity.*

Oh. My. God. Oh no you didn't! Now its on bitch!!

*Spin kicks EvilPR to the floor then floats up into the middle of the room.*

You know, you may be my opposite, but even you can't like this stuff.

*By now, there is loads of SPAM slapped all over the room, and PR spins around with his hands above his head, SPAM flying up from all over the room. It forms in a ball just above his hands, and this is a HUGE ball. Its like the size of Jennifer Lopez bum attached to Tom Cruise's ego. Anyway, just as EvilPR is getting up, PsychicRiver uses all of his power to launch the SPAM-Ball at his disgusting dark half, slamming him back into the wall and onto the floor, burying him in SPAM.*

*PR smirks.* Mwuhuaaahahaahahah!!

*He then slowly descends down onto the floor, walks over to the River-clone and extends a hand to her, to help her stand up.*

*She takes his hand and stands* Are you okay??

*River doesn't answer. She stares over PR's shoulder. PR knows what she's staring at. He lets go of her hand and turns around.*

*Out of the pile of SPAM a hand and half an arm is now poking out. Then, another hand emerges next to it. PR sighs and walks over to the SPAM pile. The hands wave around and then a head and torso pop out of the SPAM. Just as they do, PR slams his hand on to his evil twins chest. EvilPR whimpers as PR absorbs his dark side, leaving nothing but SPAM. PR stands up and claps the SPAM of his hands.* Blegh. Yucky stuff.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 9:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
[B#2 Then EvilPR swoops down next to the good PR, who is in shock at the sight of poor River-clone and whispers in his ear. He whispered a spoiler for Serenity.*

Woah. Now that's evil!

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 10:40 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
It forms in a ball just above his hands, and this is a HUGE ball. Its like the size of Jennifer Lopez bum attached to Tom Cruise's ego.

That's big!

Nothing to contribute, just had to let PR know I laughed PepsimIlk out of my nose when I read that. In fact, I think I'm either knocked out or tied down in both trees, so, um, could someone do something with my portion of the plot?

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 2:53 PM

SIMONWHO

Yeah, who keeps tying twg up?

Oh.

Ahem.

Back on the real Tree, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is I can track down the original twg. The bad news is that I have to release this evil clone to do so. I've fitted her with a collar that will mentally drive her towards her normal self so that they can reabsorb into each other.

Meanwhile, I need to find my other half. He's been absent for a good three subplots already and I think he's definitely up to something... eeevil.

*releases twg then runs to a safe distance*

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 3:50 PM

*finishes his pint in the midst of the kissie slaughter, wipes away his Guinness mustache. He calmly inhales deeply, sighing almost. In a flash, he leaps from the bar coming down on top of Needleseye. His left hand is around her throat pinning her to the ground. His shadow-bladed lighsaber ignited and pointing at her eye. His eyes gleam yellow, he growls unearthily. He leans in close to her face, their noses almost touching. Nothing moves. Suddenly, TWJ licks the last trickle of blood from Needleseye's lips and grins, his canine's glistening. He leaps from Needleseye and flies to the shadows.*

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 6:00 PM

* A tiny, shrunken General Grant buzzes around the lower engineering decks of the False Sereni-Tree. *

Jet: No way out here, either. All the doors, to inside or out, are locked shut and there’s no way to force them open in time!

* Jet activates her shuttle’s com-link to a wide broadcast. *

Hello? This is Bride4. Hey, we have to evacuate the False Sereni-Tree. Its engine core is about to explode! Gather everybody up, get them into the shuttles, and get TheRealMe to make us some dimensional portals out of here!

* A reply crackles over the speakers: *

Hi, Jet. This is Bride5 in the common room. Uh, TheRealMe just disappeared in a battle with TheDarkMe. I think he’s gone, at least for now!

Bride2 (Deuce): Damn! NOW what are we going to do? We’re in deep, now!

Bride3 (Trey): Looks bad. Very bad.

Zoe-clone1 and Zoe-clone2, in chorus: I’ve seen worse, Sir.

* Suddenly, a hull breach alarm sounds from outside the General Grant. There is a pronounced hissing sound as some of the metal-munching Cozenroaches break through the hull of the False Sereni-tree and air starts to escape. Deuce turns to the Zoe-clones who are standing impassively, staring out at this sight. *

Deuce: Have you seen worse than THIS?

Zoe-clone1: No, Sir.

* Zoe-clone2 points at the hull breach, which is still crawling with Cozenroaches: *

Zoe-clone2: What about using THAT exit to get out of this trap?

Jet: Maybe… Who have we been able to collect from the Grant and Lee?

Trey: Since we’ve been flying around, we’ve picked up the Zoe-clones, the troupe of dancing Yeti, and the Windmill Giants, including Rat’s friend Wendell. But there was no sign of Rat, Ath, Jazaf, or PsychicRiver. Wendell says that he saw Rat disappear before his eyes. The big guys sort of got lost, after that. He didn’t know where Jazaf went. In fact, I’m not sure the yeti noticed Jazaf being there at all.

Deuce: Well, he IS a man of mystery.

Zoe-clone2: As far as the others from the General Grant, we were separated from Ath when he took a “short cut”.

Trey: So, was it a short cut, or did he just get lost?

Zoe-clone1: I have no way of knowing, Sir. Nor do I know the whereabouts of PsychicRiver. He seems to have just gone missing.

Trey, sarcastically: Another short cut?

Zoe-clone1: I wouldn’t know, Sir.

Deuce: Uh, hey, Jet, how long have we got, before… you know?

* Deuce makes "explosion" gestures with her hands. *

* Jet turns a critical eye to the rapidly disintegrating hull as the ship is rocked by an internal explosion. *

Jet: Not much time at all!

* Jet pilots the shrunken General Grant out through the hole in the hull. *

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 6:05 PM

* On a balcony overlooking the False Sereni-Tree’s common room, Bride5 puts away her com-link as somewhere many decks below, the ship is rocked by an internal explosion. *

Bride5: The situation looks bad. Jet says we have to get out of here!

* Bride5 kneels next to where Bride6 fainted. River-clone is touching Bride6’s forehead, a serious expression on her face. *

Bride5: How is she?

River-clone: Sleeping. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep when she pricked her finger. When her Prince comes to kiss her awake, will they fall in love? Or will he be a prick, too?

* Bride5 rolls her eye. *

Bride5: We don’t have time for this crazy talk! Bluefishie, Xander, can you help me carry Bride6 back into the Admiral Nelson? And I don’t know how to fly it. Are any of you a pilot?

* River-clone smiles gleefully, and nods. *

Bride5: And we have to help everyone else out of here, too. I’m not sure everyone in the common room will fit into the Admiral.

River-clone, suddenly serious, does the math in her head: Won’t fit. But I’ve got a secret!

* River-clone grins and stands. Alone, she starts calmly walking along the balcony toward the South Wing. *

River-clone: Two by two. Two by two. Two by two.

* At that moment, EvilPsychicRiver breaks off his mental combat with GoodPsychicRiver, soars up to the balcony, and kicks River-clone off. She drops to the floor of the common room, her fall broken only by a cushion of Spam. River-clone looks at the Spam, somewhat dazed. *

River-clone: This food is problematic.

* EvilPR flies back down to his counterpart, smirking, and whispers something in his ear. *

Quote:
PsychicRiver wrote:
Oh. My. God. Oh no you didn't! Now it’s on bitch!!

*PR spin kicks EvilPR to the floor then floats up into the middle of the room.*

You know, you may be my opposite, but even you can't like this stuff.

*By now, there is loads of SPAM slapped all over the room, and PR spins around with his hands above his head, SPAM flying up from all over the room. It forms in a ball just above his hands, and this is a HUGE ball. Its like the size of Jennifer Lopez bum attached to Tom Cruise's ego. Anyway, just as EvilPR is getting up, PsychicRiver uses all of his power to launch the SPAM-Ball at his disgusting dark half, slamming him back into the wall and onto the floor, burying him in SPAM.*

*PR smirks.* Mwuhuaaahahaahahah!!

*He then slowly descends down onto the floor, walks over to the River-clone and extends a hand to her, to help her stand up.*

*She takes his hand and stands* Are you okay??

*River doesn't answer. She stares over PR's shoulder. PR knows what she's staring at. He lets go of her hand and turns around.*

*Out of the pile of SPAM a hand and half an arm is now poking out. Then, another hand emerges next to it. PR sighs and walks over to the SPAM pile. The hands wave around and then a head and torso pop out of the SPAM. Just as they do, PR slams his hand on to his evil twins chest. EvilPR whimpers as PR absorbs his dark side, leaving nothing but SPAM. PR stands up and claps the SPAM of his hands.* Blegh. Yucky stuff.

* River-clone runs up to PscyhicRiver, hugs him, and smiles: *

River-clone: Want a little kiss?

* As PsychicRiver moves in for a masterful patented lip-lock, River-clone grabs a nearby wandering kissie, jams it in PsychicRiver’s face, and jumps back. She pulls out a camera to take a shot of the resulting display of affection from the creature. PsychicRiver sputters in surprise. Then, the kissie starts licking Spam juice off PR’s fingers. *

River-clone: You are SO photogenic!

* River-clone puts her camera away and starts skipping toward the stairs connected to the South Wing, which run up the entire height of the South Wing. She starts to climb up, once again serious and muttering to herself: *

River-clone: Two by two. Two by two. Two by two.

* Bride5 is hanging over the balcony, watching. *

Bride5: But… where is she going? There’s nothing up there except… the hanger bay. Two by two? Hey, if this ship is an exact duplicate of the real Sereni-Tree, then there’s a second one of everything! Maybe its hanger bay has three duplicate shuttles! We might have enough room to carry everybody away, after all.

* River-clone chuckles to herself as she begins to expertly re-wire the controls to the hanger bay access hatch. *

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 6:06 PM

NEEDLESEYE

mmm... are you asking me to dance?

thinks ~that wasn't quite Grey? with wings? hmmm...

*touches a bloody fingertip to her lips*

Ahem, you missed some...

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 7:34 PM

*the taste of blood still fresh on his tongue, he flies to engineering. False, shadow, mockery, but still a copy of the SereniTREE. He walks to the doors. With a glance they open before him. Radiation and fusion engery assault his senses. He grins madly, his form black against the brilliant light of the failing drive. Calmly he walks forward. With a flick of his right hand, his blade is ignited again. He drives it into the core of the Fusion drive. Like a black hole, the unquenchable darkness of his weapon draws in the energies and light from the drive. bulkheads begin to bend inwards, rivets popping, sparks flying, as the fusion containment begins to crumple and collapse around the unholy blade. Then, darkness. The explosions cease, the internal lights wink out. Only silence. Silence and utter darkness. Life support failure alarms begin to flare up, red emergency lights slowly flickering into awareness. In the dim red light, long shadows grow. And almost palpable malice spreads through the ship. Among the shadows stalks a greater darkness, a dimming force. Grey licks his lips, still the taste of blood.*

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Wednesday, July 13, 2005 8:27 PM

* High above the floor of the False Sereni-Tree’s common room, lights shine to illuminate the darkness. A shrunken copy of the General Lee flies out of the hatch to the hanger bay, and begins to drift downward, growing as it descends. By the time it crunches the pool table flat, the False General Lee is full sized. Its hatch opens, filling the common room with light. River-clone comes out, skipping playfully. *

* She comes upon the unconscious form of ThatWeirdGirl, on the floor. River-clone bends at the waist, her long dark hair dangling downward, to whisper in ThatWeirdGirl’s ear. *

Sometimes, pilots are weird. Your Admiral is calling you, from up there on the balcony. Or maybe you’d rather dance…

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 5:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
* River-clone runs up to PscyhicRiver, hugs him, and smiles: *

River-clone: Want a little kiss?

* As PsychicRiver moves in for a masterful patented lip-lock, River-clone grabs a nearby wandering kissie, jams it in PsychicRiver’s face, and jumps back. She pulls out a camera to take a shot of the resulting display of affection from the creature. PsychicRiver sputters in surprise. Then, the kissie starts licking Spam juice off PR’s fingers. *

River-clone: You are SO photogenic!

(Oh my god, LOL!)

*PR's face lights up at the offer of a kiss. He closes his eyes and puckers up, but his face twist in surprise when the River clone launches the kissie at him. It does its thing, and then bounces off, leaving PR shocked. He turns to the River clone.*

Hey, thanks.

*PR then shakes his ead with shock as he walks away and dives into battle, helping his comrades*

*He ends up back to back with Zoe Clone 1 up on the balcony.*

We need to get out of here!

Zoe Clone 1: Things always get a little more complicated, don't they sir?

Uh...yeah, especially whens there's just the faintest aroma of plot in the air.

*PR looks down below and sees some brooms leaning against a crate. He extends a hand to them and three of them wobble and then fly up to his hands.*

*He flicks the switches on two of them and releases them and they help him fight off....whoever it was hes fighting off. He uses the 3rd broom as a quarterstaff to protect himself.*

*THWACK!*

Aha! We'll soon clean you up!!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 5:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
It forms in a ball just above his hands, and this is a HUGE ball. Its like the size of Jennifer Lopez bum attached to Tom Cruise's ego.

That's big!

Nothing to contribute, just had to let PR know I laughed PepsimIlk out of my nose when I read that.

It's good to be back.

And yes Serenity...spoilers are the devil. Although that popcorn thing does sounds like fun doesn't it?

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."

Me -

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 5:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
* Life support failure alarms begin to flare up, red emergency lights slowly flickering into awareness. In the dim red light, long shadows grow. And almost palpable malice spreads through the ship.*

I think it's time we get out of here! MG, Jake7, can you help me get Mai onto the General Lee ? And then I guess I have to go deal with my evil side.

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:28 AM

JAKE7

**jake7 helps CallMeSerenity and MG drag Mai on to the General Lee**

I wish I knew where my evil side was! I think she's still loose on the SereniTREE.

I'm not sure where she went after her failed attempt to seduce Static...

**jake7 finds a place to hang on in preparation for liftoff.**

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:31 AM

LISSA

*lissa and ath hear the alarms and the sound of people rushing to escape the ship.*

"should we go?"

*ath pulls lissa back down behind the bar.*

"the kissies will keep us safe," he whispers.

~lissa, spwhore

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:07 PM

*** Sheesh, Grey! When Superman got that powerful, they had to invent kryptonite! ***

* After landing the False General Lee in the False Serei-Tree’s Common Room, River-clone talks briefly to the unconscious ThatWeirdGirl, then skips away happily. Folks lose track of her in the darkness and confusion. Nugget the meteor troll follows River-clone, accompanied by a couple of kissies he had befriended. *

* Meanwhile, Bride5 and others are secure in the shrunken shuttle Admiral Nelson, which is parked on the upper balcony of the False Sereni-Tree. Bride5 sits down at the pilot controls, straps herself in, and starts pushing buttons randomly. *

I saw TheRealMe pilot this thing. How tough could it be?

* Bride5 inadvertently deactivates the shrinking tech, and the Admiral Nelson starts to expand to its normal size. As it grows, it bursts through the balcony’s railing and topples down two floors into the game arcade area of the False Sereni-Tree’s Common Room, smashing several video games and crushing hundreds of kissies. It narrowly misses smashing into the False General Lee, which is parked nearby. *

Oooops.

* Bride5 hangs upside-down in the Admiral Nelson's pilot seat, her long black hair dangling down. She keys the shuttle’s com-link. *

Uh, hey, can we get a couple of qualified pilots for these shuttles?

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Thursday, July 14, 2005 6:22 PM

JAZAF

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

* Jet turns a critical eye to the rapidly disintegrating hull as the ship is rocked by an internal explosion. *

Jazaf was watching the battle below intensely when the ship pitched suddenly. The motion threw him down his hole and towards the common room floor. 'Aw, crud.' was all he managed to say before he landed on some spam and dead kissies.
Then, unexpectedly the light went out. 'What in the nine sphere's of hell?'

Jazaf stood and felt his way around when a door opened and illuminated the room. River-clone skips out.

He watches as a few kissies and a very large and freaky looking beast follow her. Jazaf decided not to ask any questions and went through the door.

'Looks like another shuttle. Guess I'l wait around til the pilot returns.' Jazaf finds himself a seat.

---------------------------------------
Newest Mystery Man on the Sereni-Tree

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Friday, July 15, 2005 4:03 AM

*Serenity dodges kissies, mass hysteria and falling debris on her way to her EvilClone, who is still lying unconscious on the floor. Serenity brushes off the swarm of kissies covering ESC and rolls her over onto her back.*

she thinks: This is soooo weird. I'm looking at myself...only evil. Do I really look like that in that shirt? Note to self: never wear that again! Ugh.

Okay, onto business.

*She pulls out one of her katanas and, grimacing, runs the edge across her palm. It begins to bleed. Then, she picks up a limp hand of ESC and does the same. She grabs ESC's bloody hand in hers. At that moment, ESC wakes with a shriek. She tries to pull away, but Serenity holds on as a fiery wind kicks up around them, lifting them off the ground. They rise, spinning faster and faster, rising higher and higher, both screaming, their voices rising with them as light and wind swirl around them.

And just as suddenly as it began, it ends.

Serenity falls to the floor, alone. She lays there, unmoving, breathing quickly, her wings covering her, her cut hand outstretched. There is a scar running across her palm. It seems to be glowing slightly. *

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." ~Jerry Garcia

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Friday, July 15, 2005 6:34 AM

NEEDLESEYE

*Needleseye , ignores the groaning metal, creaking fractures, and the depleting oxygen, and calmly walks to engineering.
The darkness is enveloping.
Within it, Grey feels a familiar hand touch his shoulder. A vibrant energy in the touch compells him. He turns. Needleseye opens her arms to him and he is suddenly distracted by her slightly luminescent form. Grey reaches for her and she hums softly, grinning with that blood touched pouty lip.
Surprisingly, he feels short of breath, the gentle embrace becoming constricting. The tentacles around him bind him completely from movement. Grey looks at Needleseye, not quite glaringly. He sees she is barely humanoid, having shifted completely to a larger tentacled, seemingly elder form, blackened eyes, with an odd phosphorescent aura. She shows a finned appendage (which might have been a hand?) which holds a lovely white rose.
He senses her thought, "My little moth, we're going back to the ship."
Needleseye carries Grey through the shadows to the (Real)SereniTree.*

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Friday, July 15, 2005 7:39 AM

*flows into the sensation, floating on a warm, calm sea. The dichotomy within him blends back to a balance, less shapr relief and contrast. His blade, if it were ignited, could be seen fading into a bright red. He becomes Grey once more, returning to the World of Balance.*

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Friday, July 15, 2005 8:24 PM

CALLMEATH

Quote:
Originally posted by lissa:
*lissa and ath hear the alarms and the sound of people rushing to escape the ship.*

"should we go?"

*ath pulls lissa back down behind the bar.*

"the kissies will keep us safe," he whispers.

~lissa, spwhore

*Just as Ath says this, dozens of kissies begin to gather around the pair. At first the kissies just jump around them excitedly, then as one they all begin to glow. The light gets brighter and brighter, until there is a blinding flash. Once the light fades, Lissa and Ath are nowhere to be seen. Unbeknownst to Lissa and Ath, the same thing happens to Ath's twin, Darth Ath.*

On the True Sereni-Tree:

*In the empty common room, there is a second flash as Lissa, Ath and Darth Ath appear. Darth Ath struggles to his knees, still reeling from the kissie assault, but Ath promptly punts him in the face. Ath scoops up DA's lightsaber, ignites it, and holds it to DA's throat.*

So, Evil me, how do I get you back into me? Is there a spell, or some kind of mental connection thing? I can see being in close proximity isn't working.

*A lone kissie jumps onto DA's hand and bites, drawing blood. It then hops over to Ath's hand and does the same.*

Ow! What'd you do that for? I made you!

*The kissie starts jumping back and forth from Da's hand to Ath's, obviously trying to tell him something. Finally taking the hint, Ath grabs DA's bleeding hand with his own. As the blood mixes, there's a mad rush of light and noise. After a few seconds, however, the noise stops and the light fades. Where once there were two Ath's, there is now one.*

Well, that was easy. Lissa-chocolate jacuzzi? Or do you want to take a nap?

"Invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants. The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"

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Saturday, July 16, 2005 8:02 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL

Well, this just won’t do. I don’t like it all. I don’t. *soulevilclonetwg tries in vain to adjust the clunky metal choker tracking device thingy* Really, how am I supposed to lure unsuspecting men with this on?

*Soulevilclonetwg huffs and catwalks out of the infirmary, leaving SimonWho to catch up to her*

You know, good doctor, this plan of yours could work, but it won’t. twg is whole. I’m not her. I’m just an evil clone. So, you’ve just released me, thank you, pet. *soulevilclonetwg quickly turns on her heel and plants a kiss on Simon’s cheek. She breaks into a sprint and disappears down the corridor…*

---

*twg begins to stir.*

Gorram, my head hurts. *she observes the chaotic scene before her and smiles* Perfect! It’s just what I wanted. Everyone forced into the common room to meet their halves and absorb. *mentally gives herself a pat on the back* My Entropy skills are growing. Yay.

*She sees the River-clone skipping through a field of kissies*

Now then, where is my ship?

*She sees the Admiral upside-down. She strides into the shuttle and spies Bride 5 dangling in HER seat.*

What did you do to my shuttle? Out, please. Hang on girls, we’re getting out of here. *twg straps herself into the vacated chair. A few button presses later and the ship is righted, shrunk, and zipping through the False Tree to the Real Tree…not knowing both Statics were onboard the false tree.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
"...turn right at the corner then skip two blocks...no, SKIP, the hopping-like thing kids do...Why? Why not?"

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Saturday, July 16, 2005 8:49 AM

RAT

*After visiting with Emma, Rat waneders in and finds his other half slumped over drunk.*

*Sniff* Thats not rootbeer!

*DarkRat stands to face Rat.*

In unison: You look just like me! No I don't! You look just like me!!

*Music starts playing.( http://s93419691.onlinehome.us/music/Evil.mp3 )The next thing you see is the two Rats wearing propeller beanies and riding through the halls on a bicycle built for two!*

*After a few hours of this* Rat: Well DarkRat, it been nice knowing you, but you know how this must end.

*The two Rats touch their right index fingers together, there is a flash of light.....and only one Rat remains!*

Acquisitions Officer - Uss SereniTREE.

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Saturday, July 16, 2005 12:06 PM

SIMONWHO

But how will we tell which Rat won?

Oh well, looks like my plan with the evilclonetwg was a complete failure. Still, at least I've made it look unfashionable, that's got to count for something.

Now, I think I better track down my evil side. He's still up to something I bet.

*meanwhile on the fake Tree*

Ah, this is the life. Lounging on the sun bed with a cocktail in hand. Sure, I've got evil schemes but they can wait a few hours.

*beep beep, beep beep*

Oh, what now? The main reactor is going to blow up? Whose brilliant idea was that? Well, I guess I'm going to have to pay a visit to the sunny side of the street.

*hits a button on the main panel and disappears from view*

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Saturday, July 16, 2005 2:28 PM

SOULOFSERENITY

The Man They Call Soul...

Quote:
Originally posted by CallMeSerenity:

Serenity falls to the floor, alone. She lays there, unmoving, breathing quickly, her wings covering her, her cut hand outstretched. There is a scar running across her palm. It seems to be glowing slightly. *

A single flame appears in the center of the False SereniTREE's common room. It hovers for a moment, then leaps to the left and drops down, slowly carving out the shape of a human figure. Finally, the outline is complete, and from the corners of the room the shadows rush forward, pulling with them the traces of light. The figure solidifies, and Soul emerges, stepping out of the air and onto the Spam-covered floor. His face is hard, set; but if anyone looks close, they can see the trace of tears in the corner of his eyes. He steps forward, slowly, trying to ignore the chaos around him, his goal the only thing on his mind.

Across the room Serenity lies.

Soul picks up the pace, and drops to his knees as he reaches her side. He gently cradles her hand and runs his finger across the glowing scar.

"I'm sorry I left you," Soul whispers. "Never again."

He gently lifts her up off of the floor, her wings falling away to reveal her face. Soul stands slowly, and brushes his lips against her forehead, pausing long enough to whisper something in her ear. Then he turns, and the sound of alarms reaches his ears.

"It seems that here is not a good place to be."

The shadows swirl, the light dances, and Soul and Serenity dissapear.

On the real SereniTREE, a breeze can be felt in Serenity's room a moment before Soul and Serenity appear. Lying her gently on her bed, Soul gently kisses her cheek, and then turns to the door, flames dancing in his eyes.

"What my darkness created, my light must end!"

There is an explosion of flame, and Soul leaps through several alternate realities until he finds himself again on the false SereniTREE, his bow out and ready.

______________________

Soul, Security Chief of the Sereni-Tree

Mantichorus: "So is there a reason they call you 'Soul'?"
Soul (after a long pause): "Yeah. Because I have one."

http://havenofsouls.blogspot.com/

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Sunday, July 17, 2005 1:43 AM

* River-clone leads Nugget and his kissie friends down to one of the False Sereni-Tree’s cargo bays. At some point, she is required to find a vac suit to travel through an area opened to space by the Cozenroaches. Nugget, being a meteor troll, is durable enough to survive this exposure. Sadly, the kissies are not. Nugget deals with this problem by eating them. *

* River-clone and Nugget find the True General Lee, used by Rat’s force to board the False Sereni-Tree. They climb in and River-clone happily powers it up, shrinks it, and flies off. *

* At this point, the only means of exit from the rapidly decaying False Sereni-Tree are: the False General Lee in the Common Room, Emma’s False ship attached to the main airlock (accessed from the common room), Emma’s True ship (shrunken and in Rat’s pocket), and the personal powers of teleportation that virtually everyone seems to have suddenly acquired.

*

* Oh, there are also two more shuttles in the False Sereni-Tree’s hanger and a number of speeder pods there, but none of them has the shrinking tech to slip out through a hole made by the Cozenroaches. At least, not yet. The holes are getting bigger.*

* On the False Sereni-Tree inside the False General Lee are Jake7, Mai, Montanagirl, and Jazaf, all waiting for a pilot to arrive (or for Mai to awaken). Ebo might be with them, but maybe not. Also aboard the False Sereni-Tree are PsychicRiver and a Zoe-clone fighting together on a balcony with mops, Emma in her False ship, the good and evil Statics together, possibly the evil SimonWho (who may have just teleported to the True Sereni-Tree), SoulofSerenity, and the evil Cozen. *

* Now, some of you (and you know who you are) still need to fuse with your evil selves. Some of your evil selves may be aboard the True Sereni-Tree, causing trouble. *

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Sunday, July 17, 2005 2:03 AM